Alex watched her speak, visibly struggling to see where she was going with this. She understood the confusion. Her own mother hadn’t approved, even when she had all the details. Especially when she had all the details. Only Adrienne, who knew Gwen was a marshmallow underneath her hard candy shell, could see why she had to do this for people who were practically strangers.
She took a deep breath. “I told you this wasn’t your baby, but I didn’t tell you the whole story. The truth is this isn’t my baby, either.”
Two
“I’m a surrogate.”
Alex fully understood the meaning of the term, but somehow he couldn’t connect it in his brain where Gwen was concerned. “This isn’t your baby?”
“No. Someone else’s bun is baking in my oven. I’m just a rental. This is Robert and Susan’s baby biologically, and as soon as the adoption paperwork is filed, it will be theirs legally as well.”
This was certainly unexpected. The pendulum of his emotions had swung wildly from one side to the other and back over the last few minutes. First, he was a father. Then he wasn’t. Now she wasn’t even a mother. He’d never anticipated that procreation could be this complicated. “Why would you agree to do something like that?”
Gwen shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? It wasn’t like I was in a serious relationship or had other plans that would interfere. I spend a lot of my time at the hospital, and that’s where I met them. Susan was a patient on my floor for several weeks after being in a severe car wreck in the Lincoln Tunnel. She was seven months pregnant at the time. Not only did she lose the baby, but she isn’t able to carry another child. They were such a sweet couple, going through so much pain. How could I turn down the opportunity to help them?”
“You’re being compensated, right?”
Gwen frowned, her nose wrinkling delicately. “Of course not. You sound like my mother. They’re paying my medical expenses, but that’s it. I didn’t do this for the money, and frankly, they aren’t in a position to pay even if it wasn’t illegal. This isn’t some fancy work-around for a rich, thin society woman who doesn’t want to ruin her figure with pregnancy.”
Alex wasn’t quite sure what to say. She was a damn saint and probably the only woman on his roster who could come close to qualifying. He wasn’t used to being around women like that. “Are you getting anything out of this other than a warm, fuzzy feeling?”
“Some distance,” she said. “When I volunteered to do this, I decided I would use the time to take a break from relationships.”
“So, what, you’ve sworn off men?”
Gwen smiled. “Yes, for now.”
He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. He lived in a world where people of means indulged in whatever, whenever they wanted. Alex let his gaze drop to Gwen’s hand as it rested on the soft swell of her stomach. Around her wrist was a silver charm bracelet with a heart-shaped lock charm. The one he’d bought her at Tiffany during their previous time together. “You’re wearing your bracelet,” he said.
Gwen smiled and held out her wrist to look at it. “I’ve worn it every day since you bought it for me.”
Alex shook his head. He’d practically had to force the gift on Gwen. She’d finally chosen the bracelet under the threat of not leaving the store until she picked something. She’d refused diamond earrings. The roses and wine had been a complete failure. But at least she liked the bracelet.
“It’s my chastity bracelet.”
“What?” Alex nearly choked. “Like a chastity belt?”
“Slightly less medieval, but the same basic idea. I wear it as a reminder.”
“You’re using my gift as a reminder to avoid men? The irony is rich.”
Gwen shrugged. “It was perfect timing. You insisted I buy something. I saw the lock charm in the case, and I knew it was the perfect symbol of the new journey I was starting on. A subtle reminder to stay on track, as if being pregnant wouldn’t do that for me already. I mean, who’d want me like this? It was the perfect time to quit dating.”
Alex was about to tell her that he, for one, would still want her, when Adrienne’s voice in the kitchen caught their attention. “Gwen?” she called.
“You’d better go,” Gwen said, standing quickly. She picked up the roses and wine from the dresser and thrust them back at him. “Take these with you. I don’t want to explain where they came from.”
Alex wasn’t quite ready to leave, but he wasn’t ready to explain to Adrienne why he was alone with Gwen, either. Jumping up, he stuck his head out the doorway toward the kitchen, then dashed off in the other direction. He rounded the corner into the living room unseen and opted to head back to his room to finish unpacking. Or at least, to decompress. He’d had too big a shock in the last few minutes to go out onto the patio and be the life of the party just yet.
Talk about a game changer! For the most part, Alex thought he had women figured out. Between his mother and the list of ladies who had drifted in and out over his lifetime, he had a pretty solid understanding of the female of the species.
The exception was Gwen.
Somehow she took all his expectations and tossed them out the window. She was a genuinely good person. The first moment he’d laid eyes on her, she had been running herself ragged to make Will and Adrienne’s wedding special. Later, he’d discovered she spent her working hours taking care of the sick, and from the looks of things now, she sacrificed her precious personal time for others, too. He couldn’t imagine even one of the women he’d dated over the last ten years agreeing to anything like that. The majority of them were looking for some hedonistic pleasure or a sugar daddy. Either way, it was all about them. Selfish and spoiled, every last one of them. It was no wonder he never wanted to keep them around for long.
But Gwen…having a stranger’s baby and asking for nothing in return? To subject her body to the ravages of childbearing without the benefit of having her own child when she was done? That wasn’t exactly like loaning your neighbor a cup of sugar or donating an old coat to the homeless shelter. She was taking charity to a whole new level.
Alex slipped into his bedroom and shut the door behind him to block out the rest of the world. It wasn’t until his weight sank down into the soft mattress that the rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins finally seemed to subside.
Gwen was a remarkable woman. Smart, funny, caring, but saint or no, Alex had to admit he was still relieved to find that wasn’t his child. There were worse women in Manhattan to be bound to through the bonds of shared custody, but that had been close. Too close.
Since he’d started his heated pursuit of women, Alex had been nearly religious about using protection. It was the only way to shield himself. Not only from disease but from the women out there who would like nothing better than to have his child and a permanent connection to his bank accounts. The Stanton Steel company had made a fortune during the race to build railroads across the United States. The generations since then had done well investing it. And Alex was the sole heir to it all.
By necessity, his record with women was flawless. To the dismay of women everywhere, no one had conceived Alex Stanton’s child. And for that, he was eternally grateful. He wasn’t interested in the emotional, physical and financial entanglements. If his parents had taught him nothing else, they had shown him that marriage for the sake of a child made everyone miserable in the end. He had no intention of becoming a workaholic who bought his son’s affections, like his father, or an emotionally abusive recluse like his mother, who blamed her son for her own wretched existence.
If he died single and childless, Alex would consider that a victory. He’d rather donate his fortune to charity just to hear the collective sound of the hearts of every ambitious socialite in Manhattan breaking.
And yet…for half a heartbeat when he’d thought Gwen was having his baby…there’d been this feeling he hadn’t anticipated. Sure, he was angry with her for keeping it from him and sort of freaked out in general, but he’d also had a touch of excit
ement. He’d told himself after their weeks together that his thoughts of Gwen would fade. Continuing in any kind of real relationship with her would just lead to expectations he couldn’t fulfill.
But in that moment, fate had very nearly made the decision for him. If that child was his, then perhaps Gwen could be, too. Not just a holiday fling, but something beyond that. Maybe they wouldn’t have the kind of family pictured on Christmas cards, but there could be more than what they’d had. And he’d wanted it. The thought had flashed through his mind almost as quickly as his heart had raced in his chest.
And then it was gone.
Alex would never tell another living soul about his moment of weakness. Nor would he admit that, when she’d said the baby wasn’t his, he’d felt a pang of regret and jealousy mingled in with the rush of relief.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Certainly he didn’t require a baby as an excuse to have Gwen in his arms again. That was a life-changing complication he simply didn’t need. But knowing that she was still single, albeit a bit preoccupied, meant his plans for this week hadn’t completely fallen apart yet. If she was interested, they could still have a little fun and, hopefully, this time he’d be able to move on when it was over.
Alex heard a familiar melody of a woman’s laughter from the patio. He strode to the window and pulled aside the curtain. Gwen had joined the others outside. She was standing near the sparkling turquoise pool, talking to Adrienne and another woman he didn’t know. He couldn’t hear their conversation, but Adrienne spoke and Gwen laughed again.
He had missed that sound. When Gwen was really tickled, she laughed wholeheartedly. No polite, uptight chuckles from her. He loved how she could let herself go. Whether it was laughter or pleasure, she allowed herself to just feel it and react without worrying what other people thought. As he watched, her head tipped back and she giggled in unrestrained amusement. Her eyes closed, her white smile flashing up at him. Her movement allowed the golden sunlight to highlight the creamy expanse of her chest and shoulders exposed by her dress.
Alex had been too preoccupied earlier to notice how Gwen had changed since he had seen her in November. Last year, long hours at the hospital and attempts to diet before the wedding had trimmed her petite frame to the point of being almost too thin, in his opinion. Women always worried too much about those last few vanity pounds. In his experience, a woman with curves and a healthy appetite was more fun both in bed and out.
Now, as he watched her from the window, he could see Gwen was obviously pregnant, but everything about her seemed to be softer and more welcoming. Her skin radiated a rosy, maternal glow. Her breasts were fuller and her hips a touch rounder. Pregnancy really suited her.
And him.
The fire in his gut that had been building since he had gotten into the car this morning returned. The shock of their previous discussion had dulled it, but now it was back with renewed fervor. The woman he’d fantasized about for months was here, looking more beautiful than he remembered. Standing in the sunlight with her long, flowing dress, she looked more like some ancient Greek fertility goddess than a nurse.
The tightness in his groin forced him to shift his stance uncomfortably. Alex was surprised by his visceral reaction to her. There was something primal piqued by her new, soft curves. Typically the sight of a pregnant woman threw up red flags declaring her off-limits. It was something he’d never considered, given he never planned to settle down and start a family.
But Gwen wasn’t off-limits. Her situation was unique and certainly complicated, but he didn’t see any barriers between them. If she could be coaxed into continuing their affair, they could spend another fantastic week in bed together. Alex wanted that week to start as soon as possible.
“Sworn off men, have you, Gwen? We’ll just see about that.”
Letting the curtain drop, he headed downstairs to join the party and begin his heated pursuit of Gwen Wright.
* * *
“About damn time!” Will shouted toward the house.
Gwen turned that direction in time to see Alex strut onto the blue flagstone patio that arched out from the house. The tall, white pergola that lined the back of the house was covered in clematis vines this time of year, and it shaded almost everything below. Patches of dark and light danced across his face as he approached the outdoor kitchen, where everyone had congregated.
“The party can officially start,” he announced, giving Gwen a brilliant smile before he bent down to pull a cold bottle of locally microbrewed beer out of the small refrigerator inset to the right of the grill.
The small gesture brought a wave of warmth to her cheeks that had nothing to do with the sun. Perhaps she’d worried for nothing. When Adrienne had first invited her up here for the Independence Day holiday, she’d had doubts. Her friend had promised her a relaxing vacation by the ocean with nothing but fun and friends. It sounded like a dream.
The time away from work would be a godsend, as would going a couple days without having to climb the four flights of stairs to her apartment. Her daily routine got rougher as each week ticked by. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like in the last few months. She needed this break more than she’d realized.
But she’d known seeing Alex again would be awkward. Her being pregnant made it doubly so. It wasn’t because they had parted on bad terms. They had both known it was nothing more than a little short-term fun. He’d had a business trip to go on, and it had seemed like the right time to end whatever they had going. But once he was gone, she’d been left with this restless, icky feeling she’d never felt before.
Eventually the complications of her life had put those concerns out of her head, but it had just confirmed some of the thoughts she’d been having about her choices in men. As in—she always made bad ones. Alex was no different. And it just wasn’t working for her anymore. The decision to take the next year off from dating was obviously a wise choice.
But Alex didn’t know how she felt about things. Their relationship had ended on a positive note as far as he was concerned. And given the firm arousal that had pressed into her back less than an hour ago, he’d arrived alone and interested in having another go at it.
At least he had. Until twenty-two weeks of belly had come between them. Now he probably thought she was as sexy as a beluga whale—or worse in Alex’s mind—a pregnant woman.
It was probably for the best. There was a reason why she’d planned her man-break to coincide with the pregnancy. It was built-in willpower. And lately, she’d needed it. The months of celibacy and the second-trimester hormones had done a number on her libido. If Alex was still interested, she’d be tempted to use him for a couple nights of hot sex, the way he used every other woman in his life. Turnabout was fair play, right?
But, fortunately, she didn’t have to worry. Alex would stay at arm’s length from her all week, and she wouldn’t need the strength necessary to turn him down. And she would have to turn him down. She’d done so well. She didn’t want to fall off the wagon, even for a guy like Alex.
“Alex, have you met everybody?” Adrienne set down her glass of tea on the table and began fulfilling her role as hostess by introducing her guests.
Gwen had heard it all before, but she listened a second time in the hope she would actually retain the information. First was Emma, Adrienne’s half sister of sorts. She was actually the child of George and Pauline Dempsey, who had lost their older daughter in the same wreck that had nearly killed Adrienne. They’d unofficially adopted Adrienne and let her take Emma shopping or on trips from time to time. Emma had just graduated from high school, and when she got home, she had to pack up and get ready for her freshman year at Yale.
Next was Sabine, a somewhat funky twentysomething who managed Adrienne’s boutique. She had a nose piercing and a bright purple stripe in her black hair, so Gwen wasn’t quite sure what to make of her. Adrienne ran in diverse circles.
Peter and Helena were a middle-aged couple who lived in the brown
stone next to Will and Adrienne’s new place on the Upper West Side. Rounding off the crowd was Wade, one of Will and Alex’s friends from Yale and Alex’s former business partner, and Jack, an editor for one of the big New York publishing houses. Apparently he had worked with Will at the paper a few years back.
It was a blur of names and faces that Gwen would forget the minute the next name was called. She’d blame her short-term memory loss on the pregnancy—it was easy to label almost anything as a symptom of her condition—but the truth of the matter was that she was simply bad with names. At work, it was easy. All the staff had name tags, and all the patients had their names on a plaque outside their door or a clipboard hanging at the foot of their bed.
When the introductions were finished, she decided her time standing in the sun was over. It had felt good at first, but now she was a minute or two from starting to burn. Taking her glass of iced tea, Gwen returned to the shade of the pergola and sat down on one of the cushioned Adirondack chairs.
Leaning back into the cool comfort of her chair, she instantly felt better. Thank goodness she wasn’t full-term in the heat of the summer. Gwen wasn’t sure she could bear that. Her apartment didn’t have central air, just a small unit in the bedroom window. Most of the time she was cold natured and it suited her fine, but she’d had fire running through her veins the last few months.
Taking a refreshing sip of the sweet tea she’d brewed earlier, she watched the men gather around the grill. Apparently millionaires could run companies and build empires, but outdoor cooking was a challenge. She watched Alex open the cabinet beneath it and make some adjustments to the propane line. A few minutes later, a roar of success sounded from the group.
“We have fire!” the editor guy—Jack?—shouted triumphantly.
Adrienne patted them all on the back and headed toward the house. “I’m off to prepare the meat,” she said with a smile as she slipped inside.
More Than He Expected Page 3
