“I really am sorry.” There wasn’t anything else I could say. I just had to wait for him to accept my apology.
Donovan opened his eyes, and they told me everything I needed to know. They were glowing electric blue. His face was more angular than usual, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t just stubble on his face, but actual fur.
Okay. So his wolf was really close to the surface. When an Alpha lost control, it was bad for everyone. But Donovan wasn’t just an Alpha. He was one of the Seven. The Council of Alphas that ruled all the packs.
I stared at the ground, trying not to set off a reaction by meeting his gaze for too long. “Did you have a good flight?” It was a lame question, but I’d already apologized, and he was giving me nothing. I just needed to calm him down until he got control again.
Donovan’s low, rumbling growl rolled through me. The power in it was enough to knock me back a step.
That was enough. He needed to get control. “I went shopping. Cosette is my friend. I’m allowed to hang out with her.”
“Not when I’m trying to make nice with the fey. Not when you both end up on the news again. Which is why things are a mess in the first place!”
I knew it was bad, but there was no time turner I could use to undo the whole mess. If there were, I’d totally use it. “I swear I—” More of his power slammed into me.
What was he doing throwing it around like that? I wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or if he was so angry he was just having that much trouble controlling himself. Either way, it wasn’t cool.
I stared into Donovan’s eyes, not caring about setting him off anymore. “If you don’t want to have a reasonable conversation without the stupid power plays, then you can leave.” I strode to the door and flung it open. “Because this is so not happening.”
He sat up so slowly, so smoothly, it was eerie. Almost as if some other force lifted him off the bed. My heart picked up a pace or ten as I realized what I’d done.
Fantastic plan, Meredith. Way to piss off an already angry Alpha even more. So unbelievably stupid. I was trained better than to snap at an out of control Were. It had been drilled into me that keeping calm was the key to staying alive.
When Donovan stepped to me, I stepped back. He closed in on me again, and I couldn’t help but take another step back. It happened again. And again. Until my heels knocked against my closet door.
He placed a hand on either side of my head, and my pulse raced.
My mate was almost feral, but he wasn’t destroying things, so he wasn’t all the way feral. I just didn’t know why. Maybe he could be upset that I’d gotten caught up in more human drama, but this was ridiculous. It hadn’t been intentional.
Something else had to be bothering him. Getting on the news was bad, but unless everyone who was with me in those videos holed up in a cave for the rest of their lives, it was bound to happen. We lived in a world filled with cell phone cameras, social media, and live streaming. That was why we’d been exposed. Weres couldn’t hide anymore. Especially me. This wasn’t going to be the only time I’d get recognized. He knew that. So, I’d obviously done something else to set him off, but what?
We’d been fine before I went to the mall. We’d talked about what I was planning for my day, how his very long day was going…
Donovan brushed his nose against my neck, and I instinctively lifted my chin, showing him my throat in surrender. As a rule, I wanted to do that as little as possible. If we were going to have an equal relationship, I couldn’t be surrendering to him left and right. But this time was an exception. I knew when an Alpha was losing his mind and losing control of his wolf. It was better to show my throat than force him to lose what little control he had left.
His teeth brushed my neck. They were almost a wolf’s teeth—elongated and sharp. When he bit down, I gasped, but he let go before drawing blood.
He growled something indecipherable.
“I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Open.”
Open? Open what? The closet? A window? Sure. No problem. But he had me cornered. I couldn’t do anything until he moved out of the way, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t happening anytime soon.
I tried to feel along our bond to figure out—
And then it hit me. I knew why Donovan had gone crazy. I’d seen Dastien go through this. It had been worse then because he wasn’t as old as Donovan. He didn’t have the control that Donovan did. But when Tessa had gone onto coven land, the magical barrier that surrounded La Alquelarre’s compound had cut off their bond, and Dastien had lost his mind. We’d locked him up in the feral cages before he did something horrible.
I was such an idiot.
I closed my eyes and focused on our bond. It took me a second to find Donovan. I had to sort through my connections with both my pack and the St. Ailbe’s satellite pack. When I found the severed link that tied us together, I grabbed hold of it and tugged it back into place. The force of it knocked me against the wall.
Donovan’s terror ate at my soul. All the possibilities he’d been thinking raced through my mind at once. The fear that I’d been taken by rogue wolves or killed or worse—stolen by the fey. It was all too much. I almost shut him off again but didn’t dare. I could barely breathe until the bond settled down.
When I could finally open my eyes, I was sitting on the floor, wrapped around my mate. Donovan pressed his mouth against the side of my neck, and his hot breath heated my skin. I knew I should say something, but what?
Should I apologize? Probably best to lead with that. It seemed like apologies were going to be the theme for the evening. “I’m sorry that I closed off the bond. The cops were coming, and there was a mob scene outside of the bathroom, and I knew I’d epically fucked up. I had to focus on figuring a way out of it without making things worse, and I couldn’t do that while you were so upset with me.” I paused for a second. “But it was the wrong thing to do. And I’m sorry.”
Donovan shuddered, and I felt the movement echo through my soul. “Please don’t do that again. I don’t care what’s going on or how mad we are at each other. Don’t shut me out. Don’t leave. I can’t help you if I can’t connect with you. I didn’t know if you were okay. If the fey had hurt you. I didn’t know where to find you…” The little bit of whine in his voice broke my heart. I’d done this to him.
Being mated to someone so strong was an enormous responsibility. I had the power to upend Donovan’s control, and that was dangerous and more than a little intense.
He pulled away just enough so that he could look into my eyes. “It’s going to take time for us to learn how this works, but I want to share my life with you. So if I’m mucking the situation up in any way, just give me a moment to calm down.”
“I will. I didn’t know what I was doing.” I stared into his eyes, which still glowed wolf-blue. “But I won’t cut off our bond again.”
“Aye. That would best.” He gave me a half smile. “I scared a fair amount of people getting here.”
I laughed. “I bet you did.”
He closed his eyes for a second, and when they opened, they were back to their usual glass blue. “And now. You want to tell me what happened at the mall? And what you were doing with Cosette when you knew what was going on between us and the fey?”
I sighed. “I didn’t mean to make things complicated.”
“You’re my mate. That means that you act in my place. When I’m trying to make relations with the fey better and you’re doing the opposite, then it makes an already hard job that much more difficult.”
I knew that. I did. With all of my father’s lectures, I knew what it meant to be mate to an Alpha, and especially one of the Seven. “I truly thought that our friendship overrode her being fey. And I didn’t think we’d be recognized… That’s not an excuse. Just an explanation. Believe me, that was not fun for either of us.” I chewed on my lip. “Cosette’s in big trouble, isn’t she?”
“From what I’ve heard, yes. That’s probably
accurate.”
That royally sucked. I hadn’t meant to get Cosette in more trouble than she already was. “She told me that your pack was in chaos and that I’m about to make it worse.”
“Aye. There are rumblings along the bonds.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “But nothing more than there’ve been the past twenty years or so. I can’t imagine you’ve changed anything. Our bonding is much too new for all of that.” He shook his head. “No. She must be mistaken.”
I didn’t want to contradict him, but Cosette couldn’t lie. And even if by some loophole she could, why would she risk being exposed to the media again to give me the coin?
And while I thought of it, I held out my wrist. “Cosette gave me this.”
Donovan gave the bracelet some serious side-eye.
I laughed. “That was pretty much my reaction.”
“Gifts from the fey always come with a price.”
“Maybe she considers it paid since I bought her a pair of amazing Louboutins.”
Donovan gave me a grin. “Even still. This might be worth more than a pair of shoes.”
“Watch your mouth. Louboutins are more than just shoes.”
He held my wrist as he inspected it. “What does it do?”
I shook my wrist free. “Not a clue. Honestly, I was hoping you’d know.”
He grunted. “It’s a coin from the Lunar court, but you probably knew as much.”
No, but I’d guessed it.
“It could do anything. It all depends on what magic was used during the making. She give you any hints?”
“If you call it a hint…” Which I wouldn’t. It was way too vague. “She said—and I quote—When you’ve reached your darkest hour, the coin will warm. Grab hold of it and be safe.”
“Well, that’s fecking ominous.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was indeed pretty fecking ominous. “Cosette’s under the impression that I’m headed to Ireland soon and apparently going to have my darkest hour there.” I swallowed. The humor drained from me, leaving me cold. Good thing I wasn’t planning on going anytime soon.
Donovan grabbed my hand. “You’ve nothing to worry about from me and mine. I’ll keep you safe.”
I nodded, giving him the agreement he was looking for, but he was wrong. Donovan wouldn’t be able to protect me. Not if someone challenged me. But Donovan saw me through some weird lens of love. He thought I was stronger than I was. Maybe he was right about it to a point. I’d managed to beat my brother. Once. But I wasn’t sure what threats I’d face in Ireland. Who I’d face. His pack was strong and if they wanted me out…
On that dark thought, I decided it was time for a change in subject. I rubbed my arms, trying to get the chill away. “Did the meetings end?”
“I left. We were getting nowhere, and when I got wind of what you were up to…” He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. “Thankfully the jet was ready, and I was only a few hours plane ride away.”
“I really am sorry.” I hadn’t meant to cause him more problems.
“Eh. Don’t worry yourself over it. The fey way of talking in circles is frustrating at best. They’re planning to go into hiding, but some of them wish to stay and cause trouble. The rest of the Council is still in Toronto, trying to find a way to calm the troublemakers.”
“Could it come to war?”
He sighed. “None of us want that, but some of the courts are itching for a fight, and the way we exposed them is as good an excuse as any to start one. If some fey act out the way they want… Well, it’ll mean a lot of death.” He shrugged. “But if Cosette wanted to deliver her warning anyway, then you couldn’t have done much to stop her. It’s just a shame you were recognized together.”
“You’re telling me. It was absolutely nuts. I have zero desire to go out into the world for a while.”
He plopped down on the bed and pulled me with him. “It’s been a day.”
I huffed. “Kind of. Yeah.” I had a million worries and questions running through my head. What did Cosette mean about my darkest hour? About the Irish pack? Would there really be a war between the Weres and fey? It was a lot to take in.
Donovan pulled me until my head was resting on his chest. He opened the bond wide, and I felt his steady calm. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed it, but he was back to feeling upbeat.
I sat up enough to look at him. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. The guy was just chilling. After a day like today? “How do you do that?”
He cracked an eye open, then closed it again, giving me one of his easy smiles. “Come on now. We were just getting comfortable.”
I dug a finger into his side. “No, really?”
He sighed. “When you’ve seen as many days as I have, you know there’ll be tough ones. Each time you go through something, you never know how you’ll reach the other side. But you will. And this time, I’ve got you. Whatever it is that Cosette’s goin’ on about… It doesn’t matter. When it comes, we’ll get through it. And on the other side of it, we’ll be together. That’s all that matters.”
If I told anyone that Donovan was a total softie, they’d say I’d lost my mind. But he was sweet. “You actually believe that?”
“More than. I know it.” He tugged me, but I stayed where I was, looking down at him.
He shook his head, sitting up on his elbows. “All right then. If we’re not after sleep, how about some food. I’m half starved.”
So was I. Only suddenly, looking at his crooked smile and glittering blue eyes, I was hungry for something else.
“If that’s what you’re after, I can make it happen, too.” The gravel in his voice set my heart racing.
I swallowed. “Maybe we should get food… My father…” Yeah. He wouldn’t be happy if anything happened before the ceremony.
“Aye. That’d be wise.” Donovan rose from the bed and held a hand out to me. “How about you show me the way? I’ve never been to your home before, and it’s right massive.”
I laughed. “Let’s go, handsome.”
“You think I’m handsome?” He held his hands to his chest.
I shoved him out of my bedroom. “Shut it. You know you are.” Laughing, he gave me another one of his grins, and I rolled my eyes. “Stop flirting.”
“Can’t be helped. It’s in my DNA. Especially with you.”
“Only with me.”
He stopped, pulling me to him. “Aye. Only with you.” The brush of his lips against mine was soft and tender. It nearly pulled all the worry from my mind.
Nearly.
Chapter Five
Donovan slept in another room. My mate was nothing if not respectful of my father’s wishes for no pre-ceremony slumber parties, so I ended up alone in my bed. Cold. Lonely. And missing Donovan.
But I didn’t wake up that way.
Donovan’s heat pressed against my back and his scent surrounded me. I leaned into him for a second. Light peeked around the edges of my blackout curtains, hinting that I’d actually been allowed to sleep in a bit. I’d been up before daylight every morning since I got home, but guessing from the light, it was maybe seven a.m.
This was more like it. I pulled the comforter up under my chin, snuggled back against Donovan, and closed my eyes again.
What was another few minutes? I was way too comfortable to get out of bed.
Donovan’s arms tightened around me. “I know you’re awake.” His voice rumbled through me in the most delicious way.
“Hmmm,” I said as I rolled in his arms. I felt gloriously rested for the first time in weeks. “What time is it?”
“Nine.”
I sat up. “Holy shit. My brothers let me sleep in.” Already a sign of an awesome day to come.
Donovan rolled to his back. He was lying on top of the covers, dressed only in a pair of sweatpants. No shirt. No shoes. I raked my gaze over his body—the way his biceps tightened as he put his arms behind his head, his perfectly formed abs, and his grin. He gave me a
wink.
It was too much. I couldn’t help the little sigh that slipped free.
I felt his amusement through our bond. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. Jerk.
“You think I’d let them torture you while I’m around to put an end to it?” he said.
It took a second for my mind to catch back up to him. Right. My brothers had only let me sleep because Donovan had kept them away. “Best present ever.” I settled over him and nuzzled my nose in the crook of his neck. “Second best present? You in my bed.”
Donovan laughed as he wrapped his arms around me. “You like to sleep more than anyone I’ve ever known.” He gave my back a little rub before letting go.
“No. Don’t stop. I like the rubbing.”
“Aye. I bet you do, but it’s off to train. Why do you think I’m not fully dressed yet?”
He had to be joking. “Nope. No way. I’ve had enough. I’m not getting up.”
“After what Cosette said, I’d rather you be over-prepared than not. Up with you.” He slid out from under me and ripped the covers away.
I narrowed my gaze at him. “I take it back. Your presents suck.”
His grin didn’t dim at all. “Enough with the whining. Let’s go show your brothers what we’ve been doing the past while.”
I gave him a long look. “Honestly, Donovan. I don’t think they want to see that.”
He leaned back as he laughed. “Not that, woman. Mind out of the gutter. Christ Jesus.” He shook his head at me. “I’m trying to be respectful in your father’s house before we’re fully mated, but you’re making it hard.”
“Am I? Making it hard?” He, on the other hand, was making it too easy.
Shattered Pack Page 4
