“Donovan,” I said, pleading with him to calm down.
“I can’t lose you.” He said it so softly, my heart broke a little.
“You won’t lose me. I’m not that easy to kill.” Thankfully. But I was worried about Donovan. He wasn’t thinking rationally. His wolf was too close to the surface. In a year, he might regret his actions. Deep down, I was sure he wanted to keep the pack.
But he was about to go down a dark path. The best packs were ones that acted more like a family. Sure, there were always conflicts, but there had to be a mutual respect between pack member and Alpha. Whoever was doing this had already undermined that respect, but Donovan was going to finish the job.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t right. I was terrified. I didn’t want to go up against Bhrunyz again. I almost hadn’t survived the first time, and I wouldn’t be that lucky the second. One way or another, we needed the brooch.
Donovan’s face started changing as his wolf rose even closer. His rage was still on a high burn. I had to change the subject or else he was going to lose it.
“How’s your mom?”
He sat on the bed and closed his eyes. He was quiet for a while as he tried to gain control. “She’s fine,” he said finally. “She’s been staying in my spare room. She helped take care of you.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know why that surprised me, but it did. Maybe because my own mother had never taken care of me? “That was nice of her.”
“She was happy to do it. She’s the only one I’ve let near you besides the medic. I can’t risk…” The tick along his jaw was back as he fought for control again. I waited patiently, not wanting to add to his struggle. “I shouldn’t have brought you here. I knew my pack was bad, but I never imagined it’d be like this. It was selfish of me.”
“Don’t.” I gripped his hand. “I chose to come. Your pack might be a complete mess, but I still think it can be fixed.” Maybe I was delusional for thinking that, but after meeting some of the Weres at the sparring session, I knew they weren’t all bad. He just couldn’t see that right now. “I’ve only been with you a few weeks, and in that time, you’ve been running all over the place. Before that, you seemed like this impossible, amazing guy who could do a million things at a time.” He laughed, but it wasn’t because I was funny. The sound he made was more of a resigned half-laugh. “But now I know you’re just a normal person. A very strong and powerful one, but nonetheless, a normal person. There are only so many hours in a day, and you have to decide what’s most important to you. Being on the Seven and running the pack? It’s too much.”
He lay down on the bed beside me, careful not to touch my side. “I can’t believe it’s always been this bad.”
“It probably wasn’t. It takes time for a healthy pack to turn.” The next words were hard to say, but I had to say them. “If you had to choose—because I think you’re going to have to decide—would you leave the Seven or the pack?”
“I don’t know. I can’t believe I’m even thinking it. But I can’t leave my pack. They’re mine.”
That was what I thought. But he was going to undermine his rule of the pack with this meeting.
He sighed. “If I left the Seven, who’d take my place? Anders from the Scandinavian pack has too much on his plate right now. His mate just had a daughter. He’s not going to want to leave them for stretches of time. Vasile is in the same boat. Farshid doesn’t have a mate yet, but he’s dealing with enough right now. His region is in so much flux right now that it’d be too dangerous to leave his pack.”
Donovan was talking, but I wasn’t really listening. I had a crazy idea. It was perfect. Positively brilliant. I wasn’t sure anyone else would agree, but if they did, it’d be epic.
“What? What’d you think of?”
I almost didn’t want to say it aloud, but I couldn’t keep it from him. “Tessa. She should take your spot.”
His face paled. “You’re out of your mind. There’s no way the alphas would accept it. She only learned of our kind a few months ago when she was bitten.”
I sat up on my knees, nearly bouncing with energy. This idea—it was the answer. “She’s stronger than any alpha I know, and she has absolutely no desire to run or even be a part of her own pack. Ever. And her being bitten? That’s exactly why she should be on the Council. Even if she’s not human anymore, she grew up that way. She gets how they think. The humans know about us, and there are going to be more problems. Plus, she’s part bruja. She can help smooth things over with them, and she’s already our unofficial spokesperson. So, why not take it a step further?”
Donovan scoffed. “She’s a few centuries too young.”
“She’s as old as I am.”
He gave me a look.
“You going to insult me now?” Because even if my side was still aching, I wasn’t going to take that.
“No. I wouldn’t dare. Not after you distracted Bhrunyz from my mother.” All of his joking disappeared. “Never do that again.”
“Not agreeing to that. It was going after your mother.” I still didn’t know why the beast had come after me instead.
Donovan ran a hand over his face, and I noticed the lines around his eyes had deepened. “You’re exhausted,” I said.
“I’ve not slept a wink since you got hurt yesterday.”
That was too long without sleep. “You have to rest, Donovan.” I was worried about him. He wasn’t getting any rest. Just because werewolves seemed invincible, didn’t mean we actually were.
“I will when this is over.”
It needed to be over soon. Now that Donovan had calmed down a little, maybe I could reason with him. “I know you say you have no idea who did this and that it doesn’t matter because you’re going to order it out of them, but I think that’s a cop-out. You have to know. And forcing it? That’s going to break your already broken pack. So, let’s talk this through. For now, my list is Vivian, whoever it was that attacked me on the run, Feidhelm—”
“It’s not Feidhelm.”
Why not? “He’s a jerk and he hates me.”
“He hates everyone. It’s not personal, and he’ll grow on you.”
It sure felt personal. Especially when he made faces at my hair. And I wasn’t so sure about him growing on me. “And the wolf who attacked me?”
“Emmerson. He’s a problem, and he’s very close with Vivian.” He got up and started pacing the room. This was his pack. His world. He knew more about it than he thought he did.
Suddenly, he started walking to the door.
My heart sped up. He was leaving? He couldn’t do that. What if Bhrunyz came back? “Where are you going?”
“I just need a moment. You’re right. If I can find a way to avoid forcing it from them, then that would be good. If I sit and think in the quiet, I might be able to sort through the bonds and single people out before the meeting. But I’m not leaving you. I’ll be just in the sitting room in the front, okay? I’ll send my mother in.” He strode to me and pressed a firm kiss to my lips. “Don’t go anywhere. Promise?” He rested his forehead against mine, waiting for my answer.
“Okay.”
He left, and a second later, Donovan’s mother walked into the room carrying a tray with tea. Now that I had time to actually look at her, I could see the similarity between mother and son. They had the same glass blue eyes, the same round faces, and identical grins. Her hair was white as snow, and rolled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. Her dress was a thick black wool that had a classic line—fitted at the top with a square neck and a full skirt. She looked to be in her seventies, but I hadn’t a clue how old she really was. “You’ve decided to age?”
She set the tray down on the bedside table. “In a way. I decided that a long time ago when my mate died. But my great-grandmother was fey.” She started pouring the tea into simple white china cups. “It’s made the aging process go on a bit longer than normal.” She picked up a lump of sugar with the tongs and looked to me.
“Yes, please,”
I said. “Do you ever stay with the fey?”
“Lord, no!” She stirred my tea with a little silver spoon before handing the cup and saucer to me. “I don’t even think my grandmother did. I’ve always been pack. I try and stay away from that side of the family. Too much drama for me.”
I winced. “Isn’t the pack a lot of drama?”
“Yes. But from what I’ve heard, fey are much more trouble.” Riona motioned to the bed. “May I?”
“Yes. Please, sit.” I tried to scoot over, but with my sides and the tea, I only managed to move an inch.
“I want to thank you. I saw my end in the creature’s eyes, and at first, I wasn’t scared of it. My George has been gone a long time, and I ache to see him again. But when I saw you, I knew I couldn’t give in so easily. My Donovan has found his true mate.”
“Yes. He has.”
“Good. He needs to be more grounded. Always flitting here and there. I can’t keep up, and I like my routines. But it’s good for him to have someone share his life with. That’s why I wanted to speak with you. He’s got a lot on his plate and I’m worried—”
“I’m already on top of that. Once we figure out who’s controlling the beast, he’s going to decide if he wants to leave the Seven or the pack.”
“Good.” She patted my leg. “I’m glad Donovan’s found you. He’s been lonely for a good while. I find that to be a dangerous thing. You’ll do him well.” She stood up.
She was leaving already?
“You should get some more rest, dear. This afternoon isn’t going to be easy for either of you. A meeting like that…” She sighed. “I’d hoped it could be avoided, but I’m not sure there’s any way to save the pack after this. The betrayal is too deep. My son is a good man, but he doesn’t forgive easily.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but she left without waiting for an answer.
The tea she’d brought was good. I wasn’t normally a tea person, but it had a fruitiness to it that I liked. As I sipped, I tried to come up with a way to help Donovan, but the meeting was in three hours. There was nothing I could do in so little time. The meeting was as good as done already.
After ten minutes, I threw off the covers. Sitting in bed and resting was a bunch of BS. It was too hard to sit still with this meeting hanging over my head. I had to get up.
Sliding out of bed took some doing, but I managed to do that and get dressed without being in excruciating pain. Both of my sides were still tender, but I could deal. Which was kind of amazing considering what had almost happened.
My stomach rumbled again, and I sighed. Just getting dressed killed more calories than I could keep up with. I made my way slowly to Donovan’s kitchen. It was thankfully empty. Riona was nice, but Donovan wasn’t the only one who needed some time.
The pantry had staples and a few snack-type foods, but I needed a meal. Preferably something with lots of carbs and some fats to give my body enough energy to heal. I stared into the fridge for a solid ten minutes before closing it. There were plenty of ingredients for meals, but nothing that I could grab and eat except for a sandwich. My fridges at home and at St. Ailbe’s always had stuff ready to go that I could just nuke. The idea of a fourth sandwich wasn’t appealing, but cooking sounded like a pain in the butt. And going down to the dining hall? No way. Just the thought of hanging out in the pack kitchens turned my stomach. I couldn’t go there. Not while I was hurt and one of them was actively trying to kill me.
I leaned back against the counter trying to think of what to do, but I kept coming back to the idea that I could just go and get something. Donovan would kill me if I left the stronghold alone, but I’d feel safer out with the humans than I did in here.
Bhrunyz was probably still out of commission, and whoever had the brooch wouldn’t know where I was going because I didn’t know where I was going. So, even if Bhrunyz was up for round two, the pack traitor wouldn’t know where to send him.
Plus, I thought best when I was out for a drive. Maybe I’d come up with something once I was out of here. I’d go, get food, and be back in an hour. Hour and a half, tops. Donovan was busy feeling along the pack bonds for the traitor. That was going to take a while. He’d never know that I left.
Good enough for me.
I scribbled a quick note for Donovan, just in case. Then, I grabbed my coat, cell, and a credit card. As I shut the door quietly behind me, a thought crossed my mind. This could be a terrible idea. My stomach rumbled again, and I gave in. When has a bad idea ever stopped me from doing something before?
Chapter Twenty-One
I had no idea where I was going. Literally none. My maps app wouldn’t work, but I knew I was heading away from town. Eventually, I’d find food and just wandering around Ireland was nice enough. Driving really did help me process. As soon as I’d gotten my driver’s license, I started taking these long trips, winding around the Texas Hill Country, taking farm road to farm road. I’d go until my tank got low, then fill up and head back to St. Ailbe’s. It was my way of coping when everyone else was shifting and doing pack things that I couldn’t do while cursed. Ever since then, when I needed to think, the car was my answer.
I drove for a while, letting my mind quiet for a bit, before I saw a pub with two massive tables and benches outside. The huge awning said that it had the “Best Fish and Chips in Ireland.” If they were printing it that big, they had to be at least a little bit certain it was true, or else no one would go. No one sat outside, but the parking lot was mostly full, even though it was three p.m. Too late for lunch, too early for dinner.
As soon as I opened the car door, mouth-watering scents hit me. If I wasn’t mistaken, I smelled lobster mac and cheese. This place was going to be my favorite ever. I didn’t even have to try it out. The scent told me everything I needed to know.
The inside of the pub was dimly lit and smelled old and musty. There were people tucked away in every corner, but they were too busy chatting and enjoying their pints to really notice me. Which suited me just fine. I took a menu and ordered at the bar.
“I’ll just be at the table outside.”
The middle-aged bartender paused as he entered my order into the computer. “It’s a wee bit chilly out there. You sure?”
“Yes. I prefer it.”
He nodded. “I’ll bring you a hot tea if you like.”
I wasn’t a tea person, but apparently that was going to have to change. “Do you have jasmine?”
“I do indeed.”
“That would be lovely. Thank you.”
“That’s grand. No worries. Shall I bring some water or tea for your friends?”
“Friends?”
“You’ve ordered nearly the whole menu twice over.” He looked me up and down. “Not meanin’ anything by it, but you’re a skinny thing. You sure you want all this food?”
His response meant that I was far enough away that pack didn’t come here. This was definitely going to be my new favorite spot. I gave him a smile. “I promise I can eat it all.”
“You one of those Americans who does those eatin’ contests?”
I laughed. “No.” Although it could be fun to enter one. I bet I could kill it.
“Oh. Well, then. If you’re sure…” Although he didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “I’ll just have them bring the food out as it’s ready. That way it’s not sitting there getting cold.”
I handed him my card to hold for the tab. “That’s very appreciated.”
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to have a bet with the kitchen staff. You seem to know what you’re about, but they’re not going to buy it. Not once they get a load of you.”
“Of course.” I took the water he handed me and went back outside.
It was always funny eating around humans. I didn’t do it often—it caused too much of a scene—but every once in a while, it was kind of fun. But now that humans knew about us, maybe I could go out more often. That realization kind of made my day.
I sat down and pulled out my phone.
A man answered almost before it rang. “I told you, Mrs. O’Collins. I’ll be there, but it’s only been five minutes. I’m sure it’s just Robert and his friends again. I’ve a few things—”
I cleared my throat. “I’m not Mrs. O’Collins.” But now I was curious what was going on. Small town drama was awesome.
There was a moment of silence. “Well, that’s right embarrassing. This is McTavish. Who’s calling?”
“I’m Meredith Molloney. I’m Donovan Murry’s mate.”
“Aye. Yes. I know who you are.” His tone grew serious but was still friendly.
That simplified things. “I wanted to thank you. I heard you hit the beast with your car?”
He huffed. “It was pure madness. I’ve lived here my whole life and I’ve never seen a thing like that.”
“It was a first for me, too.” And I hoped a last, but that was a pipe dream. Bhrunyz would be back. My heart picked up at the thought. I’d almost died getting away from him, and it could happen again. Next time I might not be so lucky. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead, and I pushed down the fear before it swallowed me whole.
“So what can I do for you, Meredith, Donovan’s mate. I’m afraid I’m all out of cars if you’ve a need for me to hit another beast.”
Funny guy. “No. Actually, I was wondering if we could have a chat.”
“I think I could do that. Where are you now?”
“I’m about to eat lunch and have an order of lobster mac and cheese—”
“Aye. Sullivan’s. Be there in twenty.”
He’d already hung up. That was a lot easier than I’d thought it’d be.
A waitress came out with silverware and my tea. She gave me a good stare and then nodded. “No way.” She spun and quickly went back inside, but before the door could shut, I heard her voice again. “You’re on. No way is that little thing going to be eating all that food.”
Yikes. Poor girl was going to lose. I’d better leave her a good tip to make up for it.
By the time McTavish pulled in, I was surrounded by a sea of plates.
Shattered Pack Page 19
