He got to his feet and pulled me to mine. “Accept your failures, but celebrate your successes. Allow yourself some comfort where you can take it, Rae.”
I took a deep breath and pulled my hands from his. “I know. I’m trying.” Rather than meet his questioning gaze, I turned my attention to the cut flax strewn across the ground. “I think this is harmless once cut, but I don’t dare touch it to test that theory. It’s probably best we head back now.” I looked at him again and frowned. Gingerly, I brushed back the collar of his cloak, glaring at the angry red marks on his skin, tiny cuts marring his flesh. “And we’ll see about that as well.”
He sighed. “I hate to return empty-handed.”
Glancing around, I found one thing that might be of use. I took up his sword again and strode over to the edge of the clearing. There, a strong maple sapling sprouted from the ground, the perfect height and thickness for the staff portion of the bow. With one swing, I felled it, whispering a thanks to its spirit for giving itself to our cause. I picked up the cut sapling and handed it to Prince Leopold, along with his sword.
“Not empty-handed now,” I said, returning to the tree to collect my bow, arrow, and rope. After I was ready, I turned to him again. “All set for another trip through?”
He slipped a hand into mine. “Only if you’re with me.”
Every time he spoke to me that way, I lost my head completely. At a lack of words, all I could do was nod.
He didn’t let go of my hand until we were back within the confines of the ward.
Chapter 11
“This should do for the abrasions,” Adelaide said as she handed me a small pot of salve.
I stared at it for a moment before looking up in confusion.
“Go on then,” she said, turning away. “Erata and I are going out to that clearing to dispose of the strangling flax. I’ve other things to do.” She looked around me to where the prince sat at the kitchen table, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “You were very lucky Rae was there to cut you free. Had she been a minute or two later, there’s not a cure for what would have befallen you.”
He nodded. “I’m aware of how fortunate I am. I’d do well to have her as my personal guard if she weren’t opposed to wearing armor.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed the room to retrieve the light bandages for his injuries. “Personal guard, indeed. I’d look ridiculous.”
“I think red and gold would suit you rather well, actually,” he said with a playful smile.
Flushing crimson, I nearly dropped the salve at his comment.
Adelaide chuckled. “So I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it then, Rae. We’ll return shortly.” Before I could compose a retort, she left without further conversation.
I pulled a chair up in front of him and sat with a frustrated scowl. “Do you intentionally try to embarrass me, or is it another natural talent you have?”
He looked confused. “Embarrass you? Did I say something offensive?”
With an annoyed huff, I tilted his head back to get a better look at his wounds. “You know very well that it’s not a position in the Royal Guard they have in mind for me. You shouldn’t say such things.”
I scooped a glob of the salve out of the pot and lifted it to his neck. As I went to spread it on his skin, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist, stopping me with a touch. “It’s not what I would have in mind, either, Raelynn.”
I looked away, my eyebrows tightly knitted. “And not a one of you seems concerned with what it is I have in mind for myself.”
“You know that isn’t true. I had hoped, given our conversation of last evening, you might consider—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted, meeting his stare. “I’ve no desire to plan anything beyond out-living our enemy. Any more than that and…”
He released my wrist, his fingertips gliding over my skin as he lowered his hand. “And what? Are you so set against hoping for more?”
I set my mouth in a hard line and applied the salve. “There’s been little I’ve dared hope for since I was nine years old, Highness.”
He grabbed my wrist again. “Please. It’s Leo. You’ve called me that once since I asked it of you, and I’d greatly like to hear it again.”
“Twice,” I corrected. “But once before you knew me true.”
“Still not near enough,” he said, then removed my hand, leaning forward. I inched backwards under the full brunt of his scrutiny. “Why, Rae? Why do you insist on keeping a distance between us, even with knowing—”
“I don’t know anything,” I said and tried to jerk away, but he held me fast.
“You do.” Prince Leopold lifted my hand, matching our palms to one another. There was no denying the sensations that passed through me. If anything, they were stronger than before. “You cannot tell me this is nothing to you. What can I do to convince you that—”
When I pulled away this time, I was faster than he was, and I stood, my chair toppling over backwards in my haste to get away. My pulse pounded in my ears, and each breath was strained. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
Slowly, he stood and took a step towards me. “Rae, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong. Whatever it is you’re afraid of—”
I inched back. “I’m not afraid, and I don’t need your help. I’m fine, I’m—”
In two steps he was before me, my back against the wall. “You say that, and yet every time I get too close, you push me away. Why?” He rested the palm of his hand against my cheek, and I pinched my eyes closed, blocking out unwanted memories of that other man’s face, his features twisted in rage. “Why do I frighten you so? Do you think I’d hurt you?”
I shook my head as best I could, but fear locked my body into place.
“I would never hurt you, Raelynn. Ever. Why would you think—”
He paused, and I felt the warmth of his touch disappear. In that moment, I knew.
He’d answered his own question.
Humiliated and terrified, I couldn’t bear to look at him. Prince Leopold finally understood why he should keep his distance. I was broken, sullied…
Unworthy.
The salve dropped to the floor with a clatter as I ran from the room. Again, I fled to the only place he’d leave me in peace. As I leaned back against my bedroom door, silent tears slipped from my eyes. Never again would he look at me the same way. Pity would replace the kindness in his eyes. He’d tread lightly around me as though I were a cracked window pane, ready to shatter in the slightest storm. How could he see me as someone strong, someone to be relied upon, when I was reduced to nothing more than a victim?
Sinking to the floor, I rested my forehead against my knees. I could never be who he wanted me to be. Prince Leopold deserved a real princess, not one who once played at being one when she was little and left with nothing but specters to keep her company.
I could never be what he wanted.
Dinner was a silent affair of roasted vegetable stew and awkward glances around the table. I insisted on clearing the dishes and cleaning up after the meal, giving any of my sisters who thought to dissuade me a look of impatient irritation. Even Prince Leopold avoided my ire, retreating outdoors where he resumed chopping firewood. I didn’t tarry when the chores were done, instead taking a book and reading in bed by candlelight until I fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning to find Clarice and Adelaide bent over a pile of the golden flax on the kitchen table.
“I think you’re correct about these,” Clarice said. “No matter what’s done, it will retain that quality.”
“What quality?” I asked as I entered. “What are you doing with that hateful stuff?”
Adelaide sighed. “He still needs a new bow, Rae, and this is the only flax for miles. We spent the better part of last night analyzing the enchantment on this, and, while it will no longer attack, it still contains the desire for death. That could prove useful in crafting a weapon.”
Hesitantly, I picked up a single stem of flax, rolling it betw
een my fingers. “It’s of good quality, but are you sure it’s safe?”
“Quite sure,” Clarice said, nodding. “There’s no need to let it go to waste, now that we’ve removed it from the wild. Not so much as a seed of it remains in the forest, so the bow will be the only of its kind.”
“Rae, if you’ll comb through this and sort out the stems, I’ll separate the fibers from it after breakfast,” Adelaide said.
Clarice rested a hand on my shoulder, her gaze warm. “Be mindful of the seeds. Don’t lose so much as one. A single sprout could start a takeover of the forest, and would make for an infinitely dangerous place to live, nevermind the consequences of creating a supply of this weed. When you’ve finished, bring the waste to me, and I’ll dispose of it.”
Adelaide folded up the flax in the cloth it rested on and passed it to me. “Take it by the fire, then find another bit of fabric to lay the cleaned stems on. Sort them slowly, so you don’t get the junk in with the useable material.” She turned from me, but smiled over her shoulder. “Come back in a moment and I’ll have tea ready for you.”
Nodding, I took the bundle to the common area, snagging a flour sack towel as I went. It would be a mindless task, but at least I’d be occupied. After laying out both pieces of cloth, I returned for my tea before setting in to work. But as I came back with the brew, I drew up short. Prince Leopold stood near the flax, frowning at it in consternation.
Composing myself, I took my seat on the floor before the unsorted plants. “It’s safe to touch now. They’ve assured me no harm will come from it.”
“What are you doing with it?” he asked, shifting his weight warily.
As I picked up the first stem, he sucked in a small, sharp breath. I lifted it to him, keeping my attention on the material, rather than his face. “See? Harmless. At least, for now. I won’t say as much for it once it’s made into cord.” Lowering the stem, I grimaced. “It’s magic at its heart. Whatever it becomes will be touched with enchantment. As this comes from a dark spell, it stands to reason it will lend extra danger to the weapon it’s used for.”
Still hesitant, he lowered himself to the floor across from me. “Then why use it? Certainly we could find—”
I shook my head as I picked off the seeds and small branches from the stem in my hand. “There isn’t time. Adelaide said it’s the only flax for miles, and we can’t risk traveling so far out now.”
He watched me for a moment before choosing a piece of his own. “Can I help?”
Glancing up, I nodded. “If you like. Be sure to keep the chaff on this side. Cleaned stems only over here. Don’t let so much as a twig go astray. My sisters need to dispose of the waste so it doesn’t propagate.”
Despite my uncertainty about working alongside him, lest the conversation turn to things I’d rather not discuss again, the prince left me to my task in silence. Occasionally I would sneak a glance at his face, but he never met my eyes and never looked anything but calm and comfortable in the quiet. After a while, I slipped into a rhythm of sorts, stripping away the unnecessary bits and setting the finished stems on the towel.
We broke for the morning meal, but set back in the moment our plates were clear. It took the two of us the better part of two hours to sort it all, but, finally, I set the last stem in the pile.
“There. All done,” I said. “Thank you for the help.”
At last, he looked at me, smiling softly. “You’re welcome, but…”
“But what?”
Prince Leopold reached out, stopping a few inches before the left side of my face. “May I? There’s a small piece stuck in your hair.”
I blinked at him, caught off guard that he would even want to touch me after learning about my shame, and moreover that he would ask my permission to do so. I nodded a silent approval, and he gently removed a small twig from my hair, a seed clinging to the tip of it.
When he sat back, he rested his hand on a leg, studying the seed between his fingers. “I’ll not push you again, Rae. You’ve nothing to fear from me.”
I winced. It wasn’t fair that he had to be so careful around me. It wasn’t he who hurt me, but he continuously triggered my panic. Still, he hadn’t known about the memories I carried with me. I both hated and was relieved that he knew. Unable to meet his eyes, I picked up the corners of the towel containing the stripped flax, whispered a thank you for his understanding, then carried the bundle into the kitchen.
“You should get to shaping the staff,” Adelaide said as she examined the stems. “I’ll have the fibers removed by tonight and Farah can make the cord tomorrow. She believes she can keep the magic of the flax from being too dangerous, so she’ll be the one to do it.”
“And what of the supplies for the trip?” I asked. “We had no luck yesterday. Should I try again?”
She shook her head. “Best not. It isn’t ideal, but we’ll have to make do with what we have here and hunt along the way.”
“Will it be enough?”
“Enough to keep us from starving, yes,” she said. “We’ve survived on far less before.”
I grimaced. “Someday, we’ll be able to do more than survive,” I grumbled. “If we’re successful, perhaps we’ll be able to live, rather than merely subsist on crumbs.”
“We’ve done well here, Rae.” She squeezed my shoulder. “There have been happy times in this home.”
I released a slow breath, nodding. “I know, but all have been colored by his threats. It would be nice to live without worrying about hiding from the world.”
Adelaide kissed my temple and stepped away, spreading the bundled flax out to work. “There’s always risk of death, Rae. It’s the price of life. Still, I know what you mean. There is peace in ignorance of death’s proximity. Being aware of mortality is not the same as living with knowing someone is out to see you dead.”
“It won’t always be so close, will it?” I looked to her, trying not to succumb to hopelessness.
She placed a bowl on the table and sat, grinning to herself. “I think not. There’s a chance for us yet, dearest one.” Lifting the first stem, she glanced up at me. “There’s a metal box in the old woodcutter’s shed. Put the scraps and the cloth in it, and see Clarice gets it. I think she’s of a mind to burn it all, but I can’t say for certain.”
Ready to distract myself with another task, I left her to her work. There was much still to do.
“That shed is an atrocity,” I said as I handed the box of flax scraps to Clarice. “I’ve no idea how any of you find anything in there.”
Clarice chuckled. “It’s organized chaos. Unless… Were you offering to sort it?”
I backed away, palms out. “Not in the slightest. I’m sure the six of you have a lovely system worked out for it. Wouldn’t want to disrupt anything.”
“Mmm hmm,” she murmured. “Then in that case, I suggest you find a better use of your time.”
“Well, you know I’d love to dig in to that, but there’s a prince who needs a lesson in bow-making, so I’m afraid it will have to wait.”
She bit back a laugh. “There are whittling tools and such in the shed in question, you know. If you hurry, you might find them by nightfall.”
“Wonderful,” I said with a grimace. “I’d best get to it then.”
As I went back down the stairs, I heard Adelaide sneezing in the kitchen and chuckled. It must’ve been miserable to have power over plants, yet still suffer congestion and itchy eyes around them.
After grabbing my cloak, I headed outside, intending to revisit the shed for the tools. I pulled on thick gloves as I walked, unsure of what I’d encounter while exploring the contents.
The front door banged shut again when I was nearly around the side of the house. Hurried footsteps soon caught up to me, and Prince Leopold appeared by my side.
“Need another pair of hands?” he asked.
“If you like. There’s plenty of rubbish-sifting to go around.”
“Rubbish-sifting?”
I motioned t
o the shed as it came into view. “This place was once home to a woodcutter and his family. They abandoned it not long before we came across it. The shed is filled with all sorts of things, but the useful stuff is always buried. We need a few tools to shape the staff of the new bow, and I’m not entirely sure where they are now. It’s been a good year and a half since I had need of them.” I pulled open the rickety door and stepped back as a cloud of dust filtered up into the air. “Ready to dive in?”
“While normally I would say ‘ladies first,’ in this case I’ll lead the charge,” he replied, stepping inside.
“So noble of you.” I chuckled. “Now then,” I said when I joined him. I scanned the towering piles of boxes in various sizes, the long since buried workbench, and the ladder that leaned precariously up to the small loft at the end of the shack. “It’s entirely possible they’re up there, as I used to put the things I used most where they wouldn’t be bothered. However, everything’s been shuffled around in my absence, so they might be down here.” I turned to him, presenting the mess with a flourish. “Your choice.”
“What are we looking for?”
I pushed a box to the side on the workbench and poked around behind it. “A bunch of sharp, pointy things. Little knives, a very small planing tool to strip the bark…” Shifting a dusty leather tool belt to the end of the table, I opened a lidded container. “Woodworking tools.”
He studied the ladder for a moment before making his decision. “I’ll save you from having to fend off the bats up there, I think.”
Smirking, I shook my head at him. “My hero.”
After rolling his neck, Prince Leopold walked the narrow path across the shed and mounted the ladder. When I saw he was safely topside, I turned my focus to sorting through the mess.
After an hour of little progress, he called down to me. “I’ve found something, but I’m not sure it’s what you have in mind.”
“What does it look like?”
“It’s…” he began, but his voice vanished. Curious, I stepped towards the ladder.
Shadows on Snow: A Flipped Fairy Tale (Flipped Fairy Tales) Page 11
