by Violet Paige
I nodded. “Anything. Fuck me. Please.” I wanted rough and dirty. I wanted to be molded in his hands.
“This is what you’ve been thinking about?” His fingers curled deep inside me and I screamed.
“I can’t think about anything else,” I moaned.
“Don’t move,” he commanded.
I felt the bed bounce as Jake stepped to the side. I heard him unzip his bag and in seconds he was behind me again. I heard a ripping sound, and looked over my shoulder to see him rolling a condom over the biggest cock to every consider fucking me.
He pressed the tip of it against my entrance and I moaned. He felt hard and thick. I titled toward him, the heat of his shaft blazing against me. Any second he would be inside me.
“You’re so tight. I don’t want to hurt you.” He kissed my back, but his tender lips turned to teeth and he nipped into my flesh.
“I want to feel it. I need it.” He was stretching against my entrance, and the pain was searing and soothing at the same time. It satisfied something inside me to know he was getting ready to thrust inside me.
He promised it would be deep and powerful. He promised he would be hard. I smiled, knowing he always kept his promises.
“I have to fuck you,” he growled.
And then I felt the slice of pleasure as he eased himself inside. “Ohh,” I moaned, needing something to hold on to, but Jake grabbed me, slamming on his shaft of steel. My hands were useless.
The light hit me as I felt my body spiral away from me. He began pumping wildly against me. At first I wanted to fight against it, tell him it was too intense. It hurt too much, but as he thrust again and again I felt the tight coil in my belly turn to blissful pleasure.
“Oh, fuck, Jake,” I groaned.
It was like nothing I had ever felt. I didn’t want him to stop. He pulled out of me, taking me to a new height, before sliding into me with fierce intensity.
The tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt the fever of my orgasm begin to ripple in my blood. I wanted to stop it, hold on to it, feel him pleasure my body with his cock and his tongue. Nothing had ever felt so powerful and out of control.
Weeks of wanting him had led to this. The sexual tension between us. The late night dinners. Working side by side on the house. All of it had led to this moment when I gave my body to him. He had to know he already had my heart.
Before I knew what was happening, Jake had pulled my hips higher in the air, yanking my hair back. “I want you to be mine, Olivia.”
“Oh, yes...” I lifted my ass to him. “I already am.”
My inner walls clenched around him, gripping tighter with each thrust. He laid his body over mine and I felt the cool metal of his tags rake over my back before he reared up on his knees hiking my ass in the air with him.
He roared into my back as he throbbed deep inside me, vibrating against my inner walls. I knew his release was hitting him and I reveled in what I could give him. I whimpered and panted, desperate to hold him.
I could feel him pulse as my orgasm ripped through me, shattering my limbs into a million pieces. I screamed as he plunged into me. But I took it, needing it, wanting it, loving every breath, every thrust, every second like this.
His breath was ragged on my neck, his dog tags sliding along my skin until he pulled me against his chest, rolling on his side, his arms wrapping around my stomach.
“I-I-” I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t know what had come over me. Some sort of primal need had attacked my hormones from under my skin. I’d never been taken from behind. I’d never let a man lick me. I’d never begged for sex. I’d never felt like my body was no longer my own.
“Shh.” He kissed my neck. “Sleep.”
And within minutes I heard the gentle vibrations of Jake snoring behind me.
14
Jake
There was something in my arms. I jerked forward and then remembered. Olivia. I closed my eyes. That wasn’t supposed to happen. But she showed up in that barely-there T-shirt and I didn’t have much choice.
Fuck. She was asleep in my arms. I slid out from under her, pulling the sheet to her shoulders. I hadn’t been gentle either. I had been rough and demanding. Pushing her farther than I’d ever asked a woman to go. I commanded her.
I paced at the foot of the bed, watching her sleep under the moonlight. I knew why I had taken her the way I had. I wanted that damn condom to pop off. The harder I pumped inside her, the rougher I was. I wanted to bury myself so far inside her she’d forget any men before me and never want another one. I wanted to fill those gorgeous hips with my seed.
I couldn’t. I was leaving again. Maybe I had fixed everything on the property, but the minute I did something stupid like that, my promise to Elliot was broken.
I couldn’t leave her alone and pregnant. I shook my head. Maybe when the next mission was over, I could come back to her. We could have what I always wanted. What I needed. But not now.
There was no end in sight. There was no time table that would give her what she wanted.
I watched her sleep. She had already been through so much. I knew she was doing everything she could to keep it together. She didn’t deserve any of what happened to her.
It was my job to protect her and give her everything she needed, but I had made another promise. A promise I hadn’t fulfilled yet. My knuckles were white. My jaw clenched.
She sighed and rolled over. My heart stirred.
I didn’t know how many hours passed like that, but I watched her sleep, feeling the need to protect her. To keep her safe. To guard her heart from all the hurt in the world. The problem was I knew I was the biggest hurt of all.
“Good morning.” Olivia smiled, pulling the sheet to her breasts.
“Hey.” I grinned. I had gotten dressed and returned to the apartment with two cups of coffee.
I placed one next to her on the nightstand.
This conversation wasn’t going to be easy. I pulled my shoulders back and focused on the mission. I knew it would be the hardest fucking thing I’d ever done.
“Thanks.” She sat forward.
God, did she know how beautiful she was? I wanted to take her back under the sheets and finish what I started last night, but I couldn’t. The call had come last night when she was asleep.
Her eyes landed on my bag next to the door.
“What’s that?”
I sat on the edge of the bed. “I have to leave.”
“Leave? Now? What? No. No.”
“My team has been reassembled. I pick up my orders at thirteen hundred, which means I’ve got to get on the road.”
Her eyes shot to mine. I could see the tears welling in the corners, but she looked away before they spilled off her lashes.
“I know I said I’d finish everything on your list, but…”
“You think I care about the list right now?” She looked hurt.
I shook my head. “Liv, I’ve got to go.” I rose from the bed.
“You’re just going to leave? After…after last night? After I…” Her hurt had quickly transformed to anger.
I knew it was shitty. We had given each other our bodies so deeply our souls touched. It was hungry and primal, but it was what we needed to feed each other. To share the connection we had both been fighting for weeks. No woman would give herself like that to me again, and I knew it.
I hung my head. What could I say to her? I couldn’t make promises. I knew what she wanted to hear. That I’d be back. I’d call. I’d write. Something. But I couldn’t guarantee any of those things.
It would only make things worse if I gave her hope. I had to cut that off now.
Tonight, I would be back in Kiawai and I couldn’t guarantee there would be a tomorrow. If I made promises I couldn’t keep it would hurt her far worse than if I just walked out the door.
“Jake?” She stood from the bed, dragging the sheet with her as she walked across the floor.
“You knew I was a Ranger, Liv.�
� I threw the bag over my shoulder. I couldn’t even look at her. If I did there was a chance I might not leave.
The tears in her eyes cut right through me.
She clutched the sheet in her fists. “When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know. Don’t plan on it.”
“What?” Her voice squeaked. “Can you call? Can you tell me if you’re all right?”
“No.” I turned for the door.
It was killing me. It was as if someone was knifing me right in front of her. Only she didn’t know it. She couldn’t see the pain. But it was there, cutting me and slicing my heart in shreds. I’d never felt anything like it.
“I never should have slept with you.” She spoke through clenched teeth.
I shook my head. “Probably not.”
I closed the door behind me, leaving her standing in the middle of the room.
15
Olivia
I wandered to the window and watched as Jake threw his bag in the backseat of the Jeep before starting it up and driving away.
He was gone. He was actually gone. He drove away with every possession he had. Everything he owned was tucked in the back of that Wrangler. He had mentioned it more than once. I realized now what a warning sign it had been.
It hadn’t been the only one, but I ignored them all. I plowed right through them desperate to land in his bed.
After last night, I couldn’t imagine he would ever leave. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the coffee mug he had brought me. No one had touched me like that. Looked at me like that. Possessed my body and soul in one blinding moment of bliss like that. He was as much mine as I was his. There weren’t words for what we did last night.
He didn’t kiss me goodbye. He wouldn’t even look at me.
My clothes were folded neatly at the end of the bed. I pulled the T-shirt over my head, and made my way back to the house.
He was gone. Not gone for a weekend. Not gone for a business trip. Gone. There was no way to reach him. I couldn’t call or write. There was no email or texting. It was as if he had vanished.
It was as if last night hadn’t happened. There was no proof. No trace of him. Nothing. The man was a ghost.
I slammed the front door behind me. For a brief minute, I had let myself believe there was reason to hold on to the house. Maybe Jake was the reason. It could have been our place. The place where we could have built new memories. The place where we could have created a new life together.
Why did I think any of it was possible? There would never be a place he called home as long as he was a Ranger. I choked back the sob that was lingering in my throat. There was one thing worse than Jake not being a Ranger—him not existing at all.
I glared at the fresh paint in the hall. Damn him. Damn Special Forces. Damn the evil in this world that stole him from me.
I stormed upstairs to the shower where I could scrub every inch of my skin and every trace of Jake Crane down the drain.
16
Jake
The picture of Olivia’s eyes had burned in my mind. I fought it. I tried to lock her somewhere in the back of my head, but when I fell asleep she was always there. Haunting me. Reminding me that I had left her. I would reach forward, greedy to hold her soft breasts in my hands only to wake up with the cold desert wind on my face. I held the gun to my chest. I didn’t know when or if I could ever get back to her.
She would probably spit in my face. I fucking deserved it.
“Ready?” the pilot called over the headset. “We are two minutes out from the jump point.”
I gave him a thumbs up and looked over my shoulder at the team. In two minutes, we would be on the ground, heading for our target.
There was new information that he was hiding out in an abandoned hotel. There would be a lot of ground to cover. Operations had linked our team with a Special Forces Delta team already in the area.
I waited while the helicopter hovered near the ground. When it was time I anchored my feet to the cord and jumped, rolling out of the way for the next guy.
Once we were all on the ground the chopper took off.
“Crane?”
I turned as a heavily armed group moved toward us.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “That’s me.”
“Newton Thomas.” He pulled down the bandana covering his face. “The guys call me Newt. My team is ready.”
This mission was dangerous, highly classified, and deadly. The only thing going for us was we had just added another Ranger to the team.
I led my men forward with Newt with his men on our heels. They depended on me. I had to forget Olivia or no one was going to make it out of here alive.
Olivia
There were still a few boxes in the living room. I surveyed what I had accomplished in the house. The house would be on the market next week. There was only one more place to tackle. The damn barn.
I hadn’t been in there in weeks. I had avoided it. Sometimes I considered burning it down, but that would be rash and insane. Although understandable considering the shape my heart was in.
I lifted a handful of flattened boxes under my arm and trudged across the yard. Most of the things in the barn I could sell in an auction. I didn’t have any need for the table saws or the tractor. But there were things in the apartment that needed to be boxed up. And I knew one day I appreciate having a few of my father’s and brother’s tools.
I eyed the wall that Jake had pinned me against as I closed the door behind me. It had been the best night of my life. I sighed and made my way to the workbench.
I had replayed it a hundred times. Would I have done things differently if I had known he was leaving? Would I have handed him my body the way I did? Would I let him devour me? I wondered if he had known and took me because it was the last night. He wouldn’t have to face me again.
I reached for a silver hammer and dropped it in a box. I made one box for trash. One to donate. One to sell, and the last for myself.
The morning passed quickly. I looked up when I heard the rain pelt the roof. The workbench was clear. I examined the tractor and decided to let the auctioneer give me a price.
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw something I hadn’t noticed in the barn before. I walked toward the sheet. I lifted it with one hand and my heart almost stopped when I pulled it away.
It was a bench. A beautiful, smooth bench made of teak. My hands trailed over the back. My initials were carved into the wood.
“He made this for me?” I whispered.
It didn’t seem possible. All those nights I had heard him in the barn, the saw going, the lights blaring. This was the project. My fingers dug into the deep grooves where the O and F entwined.
I turned to sit on it. The anger had been there, pushing me to keep going. It was almost tangible. The rage made me feel alive. It made me stay focused. But sitting on the bench, this beautiful art he had made for me, something else broke free.
The anger ebbed and the tears started. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders. Behind the anger was something stronger. Fear. What if Jake didn’t make it back? What if he ended up the same way Elliot did?
I let the tears fall, until I didn’t think there were any left.
17
Jake
My eyes were blurry. My head pounded. Everything was dark, but I could hear screams in the distance. I tried to stand but my leg was pinned under a concrete block. The explosion. It started coming back to me.
The entire mission had been a trap. It was bad intel, served to us to lead us into an ambush. The building was on fire and if I didn’t get out, I would be a part of the next blast.
I shoved the beam off my leg, grunting loudly with the effort. I stood, looking for my team.
“Crane!” I heard the scream over the hiss of the flames. I leapt over the rubble searching for the voice.
I threw bricks and beams, until I uncovered the trapped Ranger. I stared at Karl, the team communication specialist. He carried the radio equipment in
his pack, but I knew it had been smashed into a million pieces. We wouldn’t be able to call for help.
I stared into the man’s eyes. They were wide with panic. The blood trickled along his temple. It started coming back to me. This was exactly how I found Elliot. Trapped and surrounded by fire. I felt the anger well up inside. I couldn’t let another man die like this. I wouldn’t let it happen. I grabbed the end of a concrete beam and lifted it until Karl could move out from under it.
“Let’s get out of here,” I yelled, gripping Karl’s arm and dragging him from under the pile.
I hiked him to his feet and pulled him out of the building.
“Where are the others?” I asked. I didn’t know how long I had been passed out under the beam.
“I think they got it before us. The Delta team was calling us back when the explosion went out,” He huffed as I laid him against a wall.
“Do you think you can walk?”
Karl nodded. “If you could pull a building off me, I think I can walk.” He looked at me. “How’d you do that by the way?”
I shook my head. “I lift weights.” I knew it was an adrenaline rush, but we had bigger issues.
We didn’t have time to argue. I could hear the gunfire. I had to find the rest of the team and get the hell out of here before we were captured. Things were bad now, but it could be fucked up worse if I didn’t find a way out.
“Any chance you can piece together your equipment to call in air cover?” I asked.
Karl winced as he tried to haul the pack over his shoulder. “I might have a radio in here that didn’t take a hit. We can try to find one.”
“Good.” I slapped him on the shoulder. “Call in our coordinates. I’m going back in for a sweep.”
