by Cate Farren
“A werewolf doesn’t do anything,” said Valko.
“Tell me what it’s like,” Adrian asked, grinning, eager for more information. “Tell me how you feel when you change.”
Valko glanced at Alanna, seemingly unsure of what to say. She had a feeling he’d never been grilled about who he was before.
“It’s hard to explain,” said Valko. He put down his fork, lost in thought. “The first time I turned into a wolf, it was painful. I was thirteen and starting to worry about body hair and odd smells and all the other pitfalls that come with puberty. I was prepared for it. I’d been taught breathing exercises all my life. When the change first came… it felt like my body was being ripped in half. The wolf literally erupted from my skin. Even now, the pain of it makes me shudder.”
He went quiet for a while. Alanna wanted to reach out and touch his hand, to reassure him. The day she’d become a vampire had been a paroxysm of pain too. It was something she dreamed about even now. The longing for blood and the aching of her limbs and the way her teeth felt like they were shooting daggers into her gums. It had been hell.
Valko continued. “But it doesn’t pain me any longer. I long for it. When I’m a wolf, I’m free. My senses are enhanced. I can smell things and hear things no human can. I can run and run.”
“Do you know what you’re doing, or do you become a wolf?” Adrian asked.
“I know what I’m doing, but there is the risk of becoming a wolf permanently if you stay in that form long enough. Nobody wants that to happen. Any were or shifter who becomes feral are hunted down and killed for the safety of everyone.”
“Fascinating.”
Valko said, “I suppose it is to an outsider.”
When dinner was finished, and the plates were washed up and put back in their place, all three of them sat by the roaring fire. Alanna felt warm and snug and safe. She’d never felt this happy and secure for a long time.
Alanna poured Adrian a glass of Scotch. He almost choked when he took a sip.
“Blimey!” Adrian cried. “This is stronger than paint thinner!”
“I have had it sitting around for a long time,” Alanna confessed.
Within half an hour, both Adrian and Valko were slightly drunk. Alanna wondered what it was like. She’d never been drunk before, even when she’d been a witch.
After Valko had explained his situation, Adrian said, “I’d want those bastards to suffer! If anybody hurt my family, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill them.”
Valko nodded. “You’re right! They shouldn’t get away with it!”
“Rip them to shreds!”
Valko and Adrian clinked Scotch glasses. “Rip them to shreds!”
The two of them laughed and continued with their drinking. Alanna could only watch with amusement, glad they were happy, though a little annoyed. Adrian was supposed to be here to talk to her. How could they have a serious conversation about Desdemona now when he was so drunk that he couldn’t see straight? His family journal must be in his backpack, which was near the fireplace.
They won’t notice if I slip away for a bit, will they?
She crept over to Adrian’s bag and opened it. They were oblivious. She pulled out the journal and sat down on the edge of Valko’s bed. It felt wrong to be looking at it without Adrian’s permission, but she didn’t really care.
The first page has Desdemona’s name written on it in her handwriting. The ink hadn’t even faded much over the years.
“What are you doing?” Adrian demanded.
He was staring at her. His face was eerily calm.
“You said I could look at,” she said mischievously.
He laughed and raised his Scotch glass. “So I did! Read away my dear. And wake me up when it’s light.”
With those words he passed out in his chair.
Valko belched. “Light weight.”
The werewolf grabbed the bottle of Scotch and drank what was left. He smiled at Alanna, and raised his eyebrows seductively. She had to admit he had nice eyebrows, all thick and bushy, untamed.
“I’m feeling horny,” he whispered.
She shook her head. “You’re drunk. Sleep it off.”
He grinned and stood up, unbuttoning his pants as he did so. He started to struggle and fell over onto his face. He laughed.
“Valko!” she called.
When she came to his aid he was already fast asleep on the floor, his pants by his ankles, his bare bottom sticking in the air. His cheeks were lean and peachy with a light sprinkling of dark hair.
“How wonderful,” she said.
She impulsively put the tips of her fingers against the tiny hairs on his bottom. She giggled and pulled away, scared he might wake up all of a sudden and grab her.
Grab me and force me down onto the floor, grinding his rock hard penis inside me…
She turned away, her heartbeat going faster and faster.
It can never happen. Never.
She sat down and picked up the journal again. She gave Valko’s epic backside one last, lust filled glance before she turned back to her book. When she was finished she knew all she needed to know about her venture. She wasn’t sure whether to be scared or elated.
“You read it then,” said Adrian.
She looked across the cabin. Adrian was sitting up in his chair, staring at her in the flickering darkness. The fire was still burning. Valko was snoring like a hippo, mumbling in his sleep. He’d somehow pulled his pants back on.
He walked up to her and sat on the bed.
“Is this true?” she asked.
“It is,” he acknowledged. “Was it not what you wanted to hear?”
“Not really,” she admitted grimly. She felt defeated. “But then again, life is full of surprises.”
“And are you sure you want to go ahead with this, knowing what you know now?”
She closed the book and gave it back to him. She didn’t need it any more.
“I’ll need to think on it,” she said. She sighed heavily. “Desdemona knew what she wanted straight away. She was decisive. I wish I was like that. I need to be like that.”
“You’ll make up your mind sooner or later,” he assured her. “You have plenty of time.”
“Plenty of lonely, lonely time.”
He smiled. “I know Valko is leaving soon, but you don’t have to be lonely. I’m always here. I may be a silly old man but I’m good company. You can meet my family. They’ll love you.”
His offer made her want to cry. She felt loved, even if Valko was going to be leaving her soon. Did she have to be alone? Could she laugh with Adrian, have dinner with his family? Could she be a normal person while she continued to dig in the mine? Was it possible?
Can I continue on without Valko?
She looked across at him, smiled, and imagined a life with him. Even now, it seemed an impossibility. He was no doubt going to get himself killed going after Rian. Even if he miraculously didn’t die, she still couldn’t be with him. Her destiny was here, under the cabin, in the mine. She couldn’t stop what she was doing, not now, not after so long. She was so close she could almost feel it.
“Perhaps,” she conceded. “I’m not saying we’re going to be having Thanksgiving together or anything. Hmm. I’ve never actually celebrated Thanksgiving.” She looked around her cabin. It was almost barren. “I haven’t celebrated anything.”
“You really are a martyr to your own misery,” Adrian remarked.
She playfully hit him on the shoulder. “Go back to sleep, old man. I have a lot of thinking to do.”
Within a few minutes Adrian was fast asleep on his chair again. He looked serene, like he hadn’t a care in the world. Alanna envied that. She’d hoped that what she learned in Desdemona’s journal would give her a sense of clarity. It had done the complete opposite, though she was still as determined as ever to complete her quest.
And my life will never be the same again.
Chapter 12
“Valko, wake up.”
He opened his e
yes, and fought off the savage remnant of his nightmare. It was the same every night: his sister being ripped apart and tortured, screaming for him, blaming him for her pain. He couldn’t help her. He could never help her.
“Valko.”
He sat up, his back aching. He realized he’d fallen asleep on the cold, hard floor. Adrian was in his chair, snoring away.
I got drunk.
He could get drunk, but due to his fast healing abilities, it took a lot of alcohol to make him that way. His body must be working overtime to sew up all the damage done by his so-called friends to bother with anything else.
He stood up and stretched, and noticed that Alanna was asleep on his bed. He walked up to her, and saw that she was clutching some type of book in her hands. He tried to pry it from her grip, but she wouldn’t let go.
“I worry about you,” he whispered.
He kissed her on the forehead. She murmured in her sleep but continued to dream.
“I wish I could stay,” he said, his heart breaking. “I wish I could be with you.”
He pulled a blanket around her, and tucked her in. The cold didn’t affect her, but it made him feel better.
“Valko.”
He spun around, tense. He thought that the voice had been remnants of his dream. The voice was real.
He went to the window and looked out. Snow was piled up against the glass. He couldn’t see a thing, but he could feel the moon.
There was a full moon.
He must’ve forgotten about the full moon due to his drinking. Even now he felt stronger, healthier. He could feel his wolf within him. It was content, waiting, though becoming impatient. Now was the perfect time to try and change, with the moon affecting him, mesmerizing him, feeding him its energies and power.
“Valko.”
He ignored the voice. It didn’t scare him or concern him at the moment. He needed to be a wolf again.
He tried for half an hour but it still wouldn’t come. The wolf was closer than ever, so close that occasionally, he could see fur sprouting on his arms, but that was it.
Damn it! I have to be able to turn.
His family was counting on him. How could he save them when he couldn’t become a wolf? Maybe Rian had been right to usurp them. He clearly wasn’t good enough.
“You were hurt savagely,” said the voice. “But you’re so close to becoming a wolf again. It’s only a matter of time.”
The voice was familiar, like something he’d heard a long time ago. He couldn’t quite place it, though.
A wolf padded out in front of him and sat down. It looked a little like his own wolf form, but it was older, greyer. Its eyes were green, wild, ancient.
“Great-Great-Grandfather Valko,” said Valko, grinning. “It’s good to see you again.”
Valko Senior bowed his head. “We have work to do my cub. Follow me. Don’t dawdle.”
He hadn’t spoken with his namesake during the full moon before. He’d often conversed with ancient ancestors, but never anyone he’d actually met in real life before their death. Even then the spirit wolves often spoke in riddles, never this directly.
Grandfather Valko was never one to mince his words.
Valko shook his head. “How come I’m powerful enough to commune with you during the full moon but not powerful enough to turn into a wolf?”
“The reason I’m here has nothing to do with whether or not you can become a wolf,” snapped Valko Senior. “Now stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. I’m here to show you something.”
“Can you help me? Can you help me become a wolf?”
Valko Senior shook his head. “That’s something only you can do.”
“Some help you are.”
“I should bite you for being insolent. But I have a job to do. It’s good to see you again.” He looked around the cabin, his tail wagging happily. “I never thought I’d be back here. I spent such happy times in this cabin.”
“I think she loved you.”
“And I loved her; as much as I was able.”
The wolf turned and padded towards the door to the barn. He passed straight through, like a phantom. Valko followed, opened the door, and watched as the wolf headed to the door into the basement. Coy was still tied to his chair, fast asleep. He didn’t give him one thought.
Bella turned to look at the wolf. Valko Senior growled. The cow’s tail swished. Bella knew the strange animal in her midst meant her no harm, despite how fierce he looked.
Valko laughed. “You’ve lost your bite, old man.”
“Shut up,” Valko Senior snapped.
The wolf led him further through the basement and into the mines. It was pitch black, though both Valko and his grandfather could see okay. He didn’t have a problem with the dark, which surprised him.
I must be almost a hundred percent again.
He clenched his fists, squared his jaw; he felt superb. It might have been the full moon, or it might be something else. He knew he was ready. Even though he’d tried to turn less than five minutes ago and failed, he knew now he could do it now.
“It’s the full moon making you arrogant,” said Valko Senior.
“Where are we going?” Valko asked.
He continued to follow his grandfather down one tunnel after another. The wolf seemed to have a purpose, a destination. Valko was confused. What was so important in this mine? Alanna was obviously digging for something other than gold nuggets, despite her excuses.
“Tell me what we’re looking for,” Valko demanded.
“You’ve always been impatient,” said Valko Senior.
“You shouldn’t annoy me.”
“You’re giving me a headache, Vally. And I’m dead.”
Valko smiled. Valko Senior had been the only person to call him Vally. It brought back good memories of warm, Thanksgivings and family hunts in the forests outside Chapel Green. He missed his family so much.
I will fight to the death to get my family back.
“Is it true?” Valko asked. “Have the ancestors shunned Rian?”
Valko Senior stopped and looked up at him. “Yes. It’s true.”
Valko couldn’t believe it. Such a thing hadn’t happened in the history of his tribe. The fact that it had saddened him. It meant his legacy, no matter what happened next, would be forever tainted by this treachery. Rian had a lot to answer for.
“Is there something you can do to help me?” he asked.
Valko Senior sighed. “I am helping you.”
“Have the ancestors shunned our entire tribe, or just Rian?”
“Just Rian. Our tribe is safe.”
Valko Senior stopped. He lifted his head up to a seam in the rocks, sniffed it gently, and rubbed his nose along the cold, wet surface. He growled, hackles raised.
“Dig here,” the wolf ordered.
Valko sighed. “Why? Tell me what I’m looking for.”
The wolf ignored him. Valko looked around for a pick, before he headed back down a few tunnels before he found one, propped up against the wall. He really hoped that this was leading somewhere. He hated to think that he’d traipsed through the mines for nothing.
“Dig there,” said the wolf, nose pointing towards the rocks where he’d been sniffing. “Dig.”
Valko decided to go with it. What did he have to lose?
“If this is all for nothing I’ll never forgive you,” said Valko as he swung the pick.
***
An hour later, Valko was starting to become impatient. He’d dug a meter or so into the rock and hadn’t found a single thing. Had his grandfather lured him down here just to annoy him?
He wiped his brow, and felt the dust soaked sweat trickle down his cheeks. “There’s nothing here.”
“It’s here,” Valko Senior insisted. “Carry on.”
“If you could just tell me what…”
“You’ll know it when you see it.”
Valko cursed and brought the axe down again, hard. It hit something solid and the metal end
exploded into fragments. He fell back, and covered his face from the throwback.
What the hell was that?
He looked down at his bleeding arm, and noticed a sharp metal fragment that was embedded in the skin. He pulled it out with his fingers, angry, though excited to discover just what it was that broke the pick.
He kneeled down in the dirt, and inspected a small crevasse in the rock. There was something shining, stuck deep in the seam. It was impossible. How could it shine? There was no light.
“This is weird,” he muttered.
He grabbed the object and pulled it out. It was metallic, about the size of a Moon Pie and about an inch thick. There were ancient runes inscribed upon the surface, on both sides of the disc. It faintly glowed. Even as he touched it, he felt something magical emanating from it, something ancient and powerful, something that shouldn’t be messed with.
He felt…
“Are you sure about this? There’s no going back.”
“Yes, Circe. I need this.”
He felt the conversation in his mind. He knew it was something that had happened so long ago people didn’t even measure time yet.
“I create this just for you. Only you.”
“I can never thank you enough.”
The voice of the older woman was Circe. The other voice was a younger woman, maybe in her early twenties. He felt, though he didn’t see them, that they were more than human, more than supernatural.
“I will miss you. When you die…”
“Don’t cry, Circe. I’m happy. Be happy for me.”
“I am happy for you. But I can still cry. Goodbye.”
There was a flash of intense light and the voices faded. He realized he was clutching the disc so hard the edges were digging into his flesh, which caused him to bleed. He dropped the object, and pain lanced through his hand and up his arm.
What the hell was that? How long ago did that happen?
“Did you hear that?” he asked. “Did you feel that?”
“I did,” said Valko Senior. He sniffed at the disc. “Now my work is complete. You won’t see me again.”
“I don’t get it,” said Valko as he picked up the artefact up. He held it reverently. “The ancestors don’t speak to us directly like this, and they certainly aren’t as direct. Why am I so special?”
