Inside, Felix examined the metal beneath the damaged synth-skin where the bullet had hit Gideon's back. Most people kept their kidneys there. What Gideon kept looked more like the interior of a cybernetic limb.
"Wow," Felix whispered. "I think you might be getting a little too much iron in your diet."
"You're making jokes?" Gideon asked.
"Unless you've been eating cybernetic chickens, yeah, I'm making jokes." Felix smiled as he glanced over at Caitlin. Concern clouded her face. "Sorry," he told Gideon, "it's what I do."
Felix returned his attention to the wound and the mystery. "There's a bit of sub-dermal armor under here. I'm no expert but that had to be expensive, even without what you've got going on underneath." He replaced the shirt and moved in front of Gideon to join Caitlin where she leaned back against the edge of her kitchen table. "And you're not sure how much of your torso is like that?"
Gideon glanced at Caitlin and then back to Felix. "No. Ondrea said my body was broken. As for how much, it doesn't mat—" He stopped and gave his head a tired shake. "I never thought to ask."
"And what Caitlin said about you not remembering me or anything leading up to your, ah, injury?"
"All true."
Felix recalled the severity of the shot that had made them leave Gideon for dead. To say there'd been brain trauma was an understatement. It didn't add up. "I have to wonder if it's all like that. Underneath."
"You mean my whole torso."
"Actually, I mean your whole body. Toe to, well, to head, as incredible as that might sound."
"Are you insane?" Gideon burst before calming. "I am no robot."
"They have A.I.s."
"Felix," Caitlin began, "artificial intelligence in a box is one matter; you can't just drop one into something as complex as a human body and have it work the same. To say nothing of his memories or emotions."
Gideon pointed vehemently to his head. "Much of my body may be artificial, but what's in here is human! I can feel it."
Felix spread his hands in apology. "Just thinking out loud. I understand it's a disturbing thought, but you were shot in the head, Gideon."
"How could you understand?" Gideon challenged. "People have survived as much before."
Would arguing serve any purpose beyond upsetting the man further? Yet if they were to get to the bottom of this. . . "Maybe," Felix said finally. "But it was pretty nasty. They can grow new hearts, lungs, livers; they can't re-grow someone's brain. Er, not that I've heard, anyway."
Gideon huffed dismissively and turned toward the kitchen window. "The car that followed you, you are certain you lost it?"
"Someone out there?" The driveway made its lengthy path from the main road through mostly open ground. Anyone approaching would be easy to spot in the moonlight, even without enhanced vision.
"No, not yet."
"I lost them. Don't worry. Had the cab pull off the highway in Winston and double back through the side roads until they dropped off. No sign of them for the rest of the drive."
"You're sure?"
"Felix knows when he's being followed."
"I'm sure." For Gideon's sake Felix chose not to bring up his own policy of never being one hundred percent sure about anything. For all intents and purposes, he was sure.
And he hoped he was right.
For a moment no one spoke. Felix and Caitlin exchanged looks before they turned back to Gideon. "I have read of total cybernetic adaptation, I think it was," Caitlin offered.
"I can surmise what that means," Gideon said, "but I've not heard of it."
Felix smiled. "Sister didn't like to talk shop much, hmm? A total adapt's rather new, very drastic, and from what I gather, extremely expensive. They take out the brain and a few other organic bits from the body and stick them in a machine. I suppose that makes 'total' a bit of a misnomer, but. . ."
"A machine?"
"A body or chassis of some sort. Depends on what it's for, I think. Deep-sea rigs that can breathe underwater and withstand pressure, military ones that equate to walking tanks, and the like. I heard about them when they were thinking about using them for haz-mat stuff or zero-g work in orbit, but they're pretty much still experimental."
"Frogs' balls. And they're stuck like that?"
"That's kind of why it's experimental." Felix smiled. Frogs' balls? "I'd heard about later transplanting the person back into a normal body, but the whole thing's pretty traumatic I'd think, both physically and psychologically. But who knows, maybe in the future people'll sign up for a few years in something like that and then go back to a normal life when their tour of duty's up. I'm sure CPMC would be thrilled to monitor that sort of thing."
"Undoubtedly what they did to me."
"You don't sound nearly as bothered by that," Felix said.
"The body is just a tool. A vehicle. My brain is what matters, and that's still there."
Truthfully, Felix found the total adapt idea no less incredible than the idea that the Gideon in front of him was a complete robot, though Gideon's preference for the former kept him from expressing it so bluntly. Felix wrestled with how to find out more, since. . . "Hard to tell for sure from the outside."
"Well." Caitlin pulled a small flashlight from a drawer. "Gideon, open your mouth."
His eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"I just want to have a peek in your mouth and see if it looks like it ought."
Gideon frowned. "It feels real." He opened regardless.
Caitlin shone the beam inside and Felix rushed to see. "Looks right to me. Tongue, gums. That little dangly whatsit."
Gideon closed his mouth. "Then, normal?"
"So it would appear," Caitlin replied.
"As I said."
"Though keep in mind that your 'skin' looks real, too," Felix said. "Though you do seem to be breathing. I don't suppose you feel like seeing how long you can hold your breath?"
"You won't be content I'm real unless you can screw off the top of my head to see a brain inside, will you?" Gideon shot.
"I'm just trying to figure out a way to rule things out. I thought you wanted help."
"Caitlin is helping me. I've no memory of you before today. She says I can trust you, but stop insinuating that I'm inhuman! I know what I am. I know—I know who I am."
Caitlin stood. "Gideon, three hours ago you told me you didn't trust your own sister and couldn't even be sure why. You said you needed to hide so you could recall the time that you lost. How can you be sure of anything? Felix is only trying to help."
Gideon's eyes unfocused as if looking through them both. "I'm not. . . myself."
"What?"
He turned back to Caitlin. "If I'm not human, I'm not myself."
Even more interesting. "The key to every man is his thought," Felix quoted.
"Ralph Waldo Emerson," Gideon whispered. "And he meant something different. A thinking computer is no less inhuman."
"Even so," said Felix. "And nice catch. I'm impressed."
"Three years at Columbia."
"Hey, bonus. Why only three?"
"Felix, I think perhaps we're rather getting off track," Caitlin warned.
"Right. Sorry. So how could we," he paused for a wording that wouldn't offend Gideon, ". . . verify anything here, I wonder?"
"Were I back in the labs, I could try to find some sort of chart or terminal and see what I could find. But I won't return there until I know more."
"Then perhaps we could find some more sources on the adaptation procedure. Try to find some sort of determining factor," Caitlin suggested. She made a dash for her laptop.
Felix grinned at the rush. "And she's on the trail! Do you remember where you read about it before?"
She shook her head. "Not exactly. Do you?"
"Didn't read so much as overhear."
"Electronic Journal of Cybernetics should at least give a starting place," she suggested.
Felix enjoyed the sight of Caitlin's brow furrowing as her gaze focused on the screen. A thought occu
rred that led him down further curious paths. Maybe it was a false trail, but. . . "Gideon," he asked, "when's the last time you shaved?"
"I don't know. A while ago."
"So you've definitely got real, growing facial hair, then?"
Gideon began to speak, stopped, and then said, "Yes. I think so. I don't remember noting otherwise." He sat in concerned silence before Felix spoke again.
"You don't seem too sure about that."
"Are you a doctor, is that it?" Gideon burst. "Everyone's asking questions, everyone needs to know things!" He frowned and took a deep breath. "I apologize. I'm trying to recall the last time I did shave, but I'm drawing a blank. But I know I've done it."
"But you can't remember the actual event?"
"What're you getting at?"
"You said they make you sleep around sixteen hours a day."
"And?"
"You're sure you've shaved, but you don't remember any particular time. Have you even really thought about it until I asked? I'm wondering if they've been hypnotizing you."
"To make me think I'm shaving?"
"To make you think your body is less altered than it is," Felix said. "To keep you from having certain thoughts or wondering about certain things. You didn't know about it until Caitlin noticed."
Gideon ran his fingers over his face and through his hair. "You may be right. But she said the sixteen hours were to help me heal. Why wouldn't she just tell me?"
Caitlin looked up from her computer. "Even so, you kept repeating 'it doesn't matter' when I'd asked you what happened."
"How long have you been healing?" Felix asked. "That you weren't unconscious all the time, I mean."
Gideon scowled, considering. "I don't know. But hypnotizing me every day like that? There would be more to it than just programming me not to ask questions."
Felix continued to think aloud. "Even if you did ask, if she went through the trouble of hypnotizing you to keep you from asking, I'd be surprised if she'd give you a straight answer."
Caitlin hummed in thought. "Unless the hypnosis wasn't her idea?"
"I don't believe that I could trust what she'd tell me." Hands fisted, Gideon stood in an angry huff. "I can't remember a time when I couldn't trust her. Now I'm trusting two people I hardly know? Tell me why that is."
Felix watched Gideon stand there, an otherwise intimidating presence who looked for the moment as if a strong wind might carry him away. Confusion was taking a toll on the man, and Felix had no good answer for him. Not yet.
"I don't know," Caitlin and he answered together.
Gideon said no more. He stepped to the window to look outside where the moonlight illuminated the dry landscape. Felix caught Caitlin's eye with a glance at her laptop, and she answered with a shake of her head that he took for "nothing yet." She wore the same concerned but helpless expression that he could feel on his own face.
"Gideon," he began, holding Caitlin's gaze. Gideon didn't let him finish.
"You'll excuse me," Gideon said before leaving the room toward the rest of the house. Felix heard the bathroom door close moments later.
"Perhaps we should give him a bit of time," Caitlin said. "I don't know."
Felix didn't know what to do, either. As soon as he knew that Gideon had gone into the bathroom, however, what he was sure of was what Gideon was checking. Were their places reversed, Felix was fairly certain he'd be doing the same. Gideon was going to unzip and see if he was still, biologically, a man.
At least that was Felix's guess. It was impossible to read anything in Gideon's face when he returned, silently, to the kitchen a minute later. Felix gave the man his privacy in the matter.
"Gideon," Felix started instead, "what sort of projects does Ondrea work on, do you know?"
"Now, or in the past," Caitlin added cautiously.
Gideon took a deep breath and then exhaled, as though composing himself. Felix leaned forward just a little more.
"The exact nature of her work wasn't something I was normally privy to. Aside from her assurance that it didn't deal with weapons systems, she took her non-disclosure agreements seriously." Gideon began to examine his hands, turning them over slowly. "I remember she liked to tinker. I suppose you might call it a hobby. She could take an existing design and build on it. Improve it. She made a few modifications to my own equipment. I didn't even ask her to, she just volunteered. I remember thinking she wanted to keep me safe."
Felix indulged a six-month-old curiosity. "You had a stun flash in your palm. That hers?"
"I still have it," he said. "And yes, that was one of her projects."
"It's no coincidence that Marquand put such a design on the market a few months ago, then," Caitlin said.
"Really?" Felix asked. "I can't believe I missed hearing about that."
Caitlin gave the smallest of grins. "Well you can't know everything, ducks," she whispered before turning to Gideon. "Was that the only sort of project she did?"
"She ran the gauntlet. She's always been the smartest of us. The last thing I remember her working on was something with hearing. Aural implants? I think that was what she said. That was for Marquand. She was going to have me come into the labs to take some sort of response test. They needed some readings to work off of, and I think I remember her saying I fit a profile."
"Going to have you come in?" Felix repeated. "You didn't?"
Gideon shook his head. "I did not. Or, maybe I did. I don't— It's difficult to be sure." He sat down again, concentrating. "I can clearly recall her asking me to help. She's my sister, I told her I would. I went in to the labs. . ."
Felix waited as Gideon plumbed his memory. When the man finally scowled in defeat, Felix couldn't resist plumbing a bit himself. "It was for hearing. Did they cover your ears with something?"
"I don't— No. There was a chair with. . . It was like a frame of sorts that went around the headrest. I think I asked Ondrea about that. I thought maybe they were doing some sort of study about how my implants interacted with my brain. There was more to it, I think. Ondrea was telling me. . . something. Something else, something more now that I was there. We talked about it for. . . I don't know how long."
Felix waited as long as he could, and then, "About what?"
"I can't remember. It feels like a dream at this point. Maybe it wasn't even real. Maybe this isn't real. I can't remember!"
"What happened after you talked? Did you go through with it?"
"Which part of 'I can't remember' do you not understand? I can't tell you everything, I don't know everything!" Gideon pushed to his feet so abruptly that, had he wished, he could have had his hands around Felix's neck before anyone could have stopped him.
Despite the fire in his glare, Gideon made no move toward Felix. He went for the door instead.
"I'm going outside," Gideon grumbled without a backward glance. He slammed the door behind him, and was gone.
CHAPTER 25
Caitlin sighed. "I rather think we pushed a little too hard, Felix."
"He's just standing out there, looking up at the sky," Felix reported from the kitchen window. "Doesn't look to be going anywhere. And if either of us was pushing, it was me. Think he's mad at us, or just his situation?"
"Perhaps a little of both. More the latter, I would hope."
"Probably a good idea to give him a bit of time in any case right now. I let my curiosity get the best of me, huh?"
Caitlin nodded wordlessly and let her gaze drift out the window past Felix. Outside by her daisies was a man who'd had God-knows-what done to him. The possibly dangerous side effects of extensive cybernetic alteration, combined with the fact that he was so close, should have bothered her a little more. Perhaps it was just that he really did seem more subdued than she'd known him to be before. Perhaps she was just too involved in making amends for past mistakes at that point to turn away. Or perhaps, she decided, it was simply her own curiosity and foolishness that were to blame. Even if it was a combination of reasons, foolishness might v
ery well top the list.
Crikey, did it make a difference? She had brought a man on the run from a major corporation into her kitchen. What was done was done; there was little sense in brooding on it.
She smiled bitterly. Like that would stop her.
Felix turned from the window and Caitlin tried to mask the bitterness in her expression before he caught it. "Do you think you were onto something?" she asked.
He sat down beside her and clasped his hands on the tabletop. "Think it's a dead end?"
"Likely not. The last experiment he remembers? There's something there, I think. I meant to imply that you've a suspicion that you're aiming to have him confirm."
Felix shrugged. "More a hunch, really. He said there was more to it, so I want to know more. I don't really know where that'll lead, but if it's not a piece of the puzzle, I'll eat my hat. 'Course I'll need to get a hat first."
"We're on the same page, then."
"Found anything good there?" He pointed to the laptop.
"Only basics, things we already know. I'm searching ICGS now. I wish I could recall where I'd seen the more specific bits."
"You'll find it again."
Caitlin typed another few keywords and found her attention out the window again. "What do you suppose is going through his mind?"
"Other than—"
She recognized the tone and cut him off with a gentle, "No jokes, Felix," adding a smile to soften it further.
"Sorry, instinct's hard to fight. If I were him, though, I'd be wondering what I was. How 'human' I still am."
"He's not as confident as he seems about not being a robot of some sort."
Felix paused in a way that made her doubt the word that came next. "Maybe."
"What are you getting at?"
Felix sighed. "If I'd just found out my body had been near-completely replaced and I was being hypnotized to ignore a lack of biological functioning. . ." He gave a meaningful glance at his lap.
"Oh. Crikey."
"He did just go into the bathroom."
"I should have guessed."
Felix shrugged. "Well, you're not a man. Not that I'm complaining."
"Even so," she replied. "As if he didn't have enough to deal with."
A Memory in the Black (The New Aeneid Cycle) Page 17
