by Albert Wendt
She won’t be remembered — at least not
the magnificence She wants to be Her future
my versions of Her and for that She has
to be ‘kind’ to me and
perhaps grant me
equal life to Her
to continue Her chronicling
to the end (If there’s to be
an end)
(Unconsciously artists
seek immortality through
their art I’m also scared
of dying and Nafanua for
a price can save me
from that)
The shadows of the day spill again
from treeroot stoneroot grave
as the La slides off the tip of the sky’s
blazing skull and rummages for evening
in the green waters of the bay
The heat hums like hornets
lost from their hive
I listen to the eager beat
of my heart in my blood
and wait:
She’ll come
unable to resist unravelling for
my amazed admiration and memory
the secret in
that grave
(She resisted for years
but Her hints increased like lucid
baits I’d not bitten not even asked
until last night when She shouted:
Don’t you want to know?
About what? I pretended and
She stomped out
and stalked through the heavens
muttering I mustn’t kill him —
he’s my memory!)
The waves roll-in roll-out roll-in
through my head
with the song my mother sang
in my childhood:
I envy the waves that roll
east and west unaware
of my body dying
and my heart wounded
by your callous infidelities …
She died many years
ago (I heard) Didn’t go to her
funeral — a very unloving un-Samoan
thing to do but she’d not loved me
(and it’s Samoan to reciprocate!)
Can’t put a face
or shape smell touch to her
Just those few lines of a song
in a voice
I’m unsure was hers
(2)
Cunning bugger aren’t you! Fat ugly
and now utterly a snob! Nafanua says
when She’s perched like a giant seabird on
the pandanus roots at the grave’s head
(That really hurt because it isn’t true)
I should throw you back into the pigpens!
There’re other patrons! I object Yeah who?
Without me you’ll be the yaw-footed mal-
nourished object of ridicule you always were
She berates me the way She abuses Auva’a:
mark of Her affection and need for us
And don’t ever answer me back! She snaps
If anyone else did that I’d have his
knackers stretched (Better thank your blind
stars I’m a generous patron of the arts —
not an ignorant savage) I’m your atua
don’t ever forget that again! Then for
a while She gazes at the waves rolling-in
Though we hide it from ourselves She says
old atua wish to die after enduring a stretch
of eternity during which they witness nothing else
is permanent or fixed (even art) and death
is protection against that recurring loss
especially of loved ones
But aue we can’t self-destruct (Tagaloa
won’t release us from our gift) so we learn
not to feel for creatures and things
which don’t endure: at least that’s
our strategy but for me the pain
of the loss always strikes and recurs
A creature out of the sea foetus-curled
in the warm flesh of sand right here
when the dawn children found It
No past — just a wave-tossed beginning
Our people swarmed like inquisitive flies
but dared not touch It
Hairy with a long mane the colour of flames
Pigwhite skin spotted with flyshit Around
most of It a loose blue second skin
with a line of silver shells down the front
Feet encased in hard black skin
Taulaaitu are expected to be brave so
Auva’a had to examine It first (Man
did he nearly crap himself!) Some gift
from the atua? people suggested
No just a man! Auva’a declared
after turning It on Its back
But from where? they asked as It breathed
An Albino! Auva’a pronounced but I knew
he knew the creature was from way
outside the world as we conceived it
Quickly he covered It with siapo and
his assistants carried It to the Temple
away from our adherents’ searching minds:
Religions to be believed must be able
to explain all the new phenomena to ease
their adherents’ fears How do you explain
a creature from beyond our space?
Cunning Auva’a explained It as ‘Albino’
rare and strange but still human
How do we control It when It wakes? Auva’a asked
after he’d cleared the Temple of everyone
I too was scared but being atua supreme
declared It’s mere Albino! Auva’a immediately
tied It up with sinnet rope and
cleaned and poulticed Its deep forehead wound
We observed and waited: It stirred now
and then murmured and groaned
We agreed It looked human Fingered
Its second skin decided it was fabric
unknown to us and the shells on it manmade
Its feet coverings were also strange animal skin
And grew more afraid: It was from
a world with technology magic
and mana probably beyond
even Tagaloaalagi’s No one else but us
must have Its secrets I instructed Auva’a
(Fear had given way to greed — more power)
Before I could stop him Auva’a prised open
Its left eye gasped and jumped back
from the edge of the unique retina as blue-
green and cold as the Vanimonimo on
a clear afternoon: Such eyes were pro-
phesied for foreign atua murmured Auva’a
Va-a-a-aaa! The long thin cry
was from the depths of night
in the emptiness of Vanimonimo Va-a-
a-aaa! And Auva’a and I scrambled up
out of our sleep and found It weeping
huge tears in Its unconscious state
Va-a-a-aaa! A cry as deep as
all sadness regret and loss
Automatically I wrapped my shushing arms
around Its head and as I caressed
Its hair It swallowed Its pain
and nestled deeper into my arms
While It slept I ordered Auva’a to untie
and undress It Auva’a dripped fear as
he cut open Its second skin and revealed more
porkwhite skin thickly-haired like a beast
especially on chest and pubis: moderately
male though uncircumcised and pinkveined
A relief to find a man not beast who
suffered pain like us but for three days he
remained unconscious though Auva’a stopped
his bleeding head and healed his other wounds
(His journey to us must have been hazardous)
Va-a-a-aaa! he’d cry now and th
en
Up up through the thick clear water of sleep
towards the simmering face gazing down at me
Up up my arms propelling me up to be
free of the drowning needing air
I broke the surface and jumping back
from what Auva’a was doing
Slattt! Auva’a’s stick striped red
the creature’s back and curled him up to weep
I pushed Auva’a away A child — a helpless
child I thought as his naked blue
eyes captured me Don’t be afraid! I said
He scrambled over and hugged my legs
So that was how Maifea? my son from the sea
entered my boring life: a forever child caught
in a fullgrown man his memory and recall
burnt out by his dangerous journey
We didn’t know this at first and for
desperate weeks tried obtaining
the marvels of his world but he didn’t
even recognize the clothes he’d worn:
Papalagi/Skyburster but with no past
no secrets to plunder he cheated us
bringing only his perpetual smile
and a child’s unconditional love
Humans being human fear the strange
despise the deformed and different (including
Albinos and the simple minded)
So to protect Maifea? he was introduced
by Auva’a to the pilgrims (who in turn
spread it countrywide) as:
Maifea? Sacred Albino gifted to Our Lady by
the aiga of the atua to show us what unconditional
love is Maifea? speaks only the wordless
language of the atua your taulaaitu
can interpret for you Our loving but
wrathful Lady wishes your kind treatment of Her son
Maifea? had forgotten all his ‘civilising’ too: pissed
and shat whenever he needed to (embarrassing when
he accompanied Auva’a to chiefly meetings
or the Temple!) cried when hungry slept
when he felt like it — a creature of
his body’s untamed tides
But no one dared whip him: they pretended
tolerant amusement of my ever-smiling son
Eventually the once patient Auva’a and ten
expert grannies gave up on his ‘civilising’
and I who’d never mothered anyone had
to face Maifea’s? exasperating but disarming charm
Being a fitness freak I tried civilizing
him on that but instead of swimming
he sank instead of running up mountains
after me he rolled back instead of
mastering the weapons he almost suicided
on them instead of ferocity he smiled back
Not being a patient atua I’ve got to admit
at times I almost throttled him but
that smile of his just conquered me
I tried teaching him to speak knowing
language domesticates best of all but hell
the large bugger couldn’t remember
past one word You! I’d say You! he’d repeat
Me! I’d say Me! he’d repeat You! I’d repeat
and he’d just smile and go blank
You wouldn’t believe it but I started
going grey as I Atua Supremo found myself
slave to his unconditional love
His arse-wiper piss ’n’ shit mopperup
cook ’n’ feeder day and night bather bedtime
teller of stories he couldn’t retain and
most humiliating of all a joke to all
the other atua: my oldman even
said Haughty Bitch can’t even tame
a mindless Albino! The Mighty
Warrior’s learning to wipe (and like) shit
like some of us! my enemies jeered behind
my vengeful back (Under those circumstances
there was no way I was going to admit defeat)
atua aren’t exempt from nervous breakdowns —
No sir but I kept my cool and learned
from Maifea? how to smile at adversity
At night I wept inexplicably to sleep as
he snored on in blissful peace to awake
and rediscover his mother (me) anew:
for me that was some recompense
Secretly I went and pleaded with Tagaloa
for Maifea’s? memory promising to share
whatever wonders we might find there
But the All-Knowing Atua of Atua
after some unconvincing tricks — He was
a bad actor — admitted He couldn’t:
Maifea’s? world was out-of-reach
way-beyond the Va and Heavens He’d created
He made me promise (at the risk of losing
my Atuahood) I wouldn’t tell a soul
He couldn’t unleash Maifea’s? mind
and acquire the secrets of his world
Tagaloa was now afraid and humiliated
to learn there were other atua with greater
mana in worlds outside our comprehension
who could like Maifea? burst through
our horizons and convert our people
to their gospels and we could die
I anticipated also Tagaloa not wanting
me to use Maifea? as my route
to obtaining the magic cargo
of his world and become more
manaful than Him (I admit now
I’d wanted to do just that)
That night I caught the first assassin —
a young pilgrim I’d glimpsed in the Temple
earlier on — standing over my sleeping son
and tried to make him talk but Tagaloa
had cut out his tongue After that I organized
full-time protection for Maifea?
A week later a wizened hag gave him
ripe bananas to eat in the Temple malae
All night I worked frantically with Auva’a
to empty his stomach of the poison
That morning a spear whined through
my chamber and quivered beside Maifea’s? head
My taulaaitu brought me the assassin
Blind with fury (and worry) I had him castrated
and sent with a message to his Boss
to lay off or I’d divulge to all
the atua He wasn’t as All-Knowing
as He’d made us believe
I knew He’d now want me silenced too
His reply came through my father’s messenger:
Nafa please don’t upset the natural order
Tagaloa Our Loving Father created
us all (And I won’t be able to help
you in this unreasonable scrap)
We can’t win: He’s built into our Order
as the Atua Supreme Auva’a cautioned
Fuck you fuck Him! I screamed (frightened
to my hairroots but wanting to defy)
Your emotions are running away with you he said
I won’t give up my son I snapped
That night I wept as I pleaded with Maifea?
to remember remember and remember who
he was because I needed his technology
and mana to defeat Tagaloa and His Gang
But Maifea’s? smile simply widened
as he embraced me and fell asleep
A delegation of atua pleaded that I make
peace with our Boss: internal dissension
was no good for the Atuahood and
I couldn’t possibly win because in an
open war they’d have to support
Our Atua Supreme Lord of Lords and Bosses
Right then Maifea? skipped into my chamber
and sitting beside me smiled at all of them
A beautiful creature they agreed and
the notoriously sadis
tic one-eyed Fofoa
Atua of Sapepe and Tagaloa’s Chief Assassin
pinched Maifea’s? chubby cheek (I winced)
He’s human and can die Fofoa grinned
Are you going to make him die? I whispered
Everything stopped deadstill and centred on
Maifea’s? gleaming smile He’s nothing —
just vegetable Fofoa declared
his one-eye unwinkingly focused on me
He’s my son! I heard myself say knowing
what the chauvinistic bastard would reply
I can give you other sons with brains! he guffawed
his spittle sprinkling everyone
In one swift move I gripped his hair
and yanked him to his surprised feet
Then with one fierce uppercutting fist
crushed his arrogant balls and
as he doubled down and hugged his
screaming pain I jabbed my longnailed
right thumb into his eyesocket scooped out
his remaining eye and swallowed it
They fled with their screaming eyeless ball-
less champion to their Boss who immediately declared
open war on me: No other atua was
to help me He warned My religion
was to be erased — my taulaaitu
and subjects massacred
All this for a mindless man! Auva’a wept
Yes to defend the most defenceless isn’t that
what our Religion preaches I said But he’s
not one of us: a bad omen washed up
by the tide — his kind will follow
to conquer and destroy us! He cried
After making sure my taulaaitu
and people were hidden deep in the bush
I took Maifea? and Tupa’i into a secret
cave in the mountains: Tupa’i promised
to protect Maifea? with his life
The Armies of the atua filled the horizons
with their gathering and marching down
towards an empty Falealupo and
