by Carter Blake
“You’re so fucking perfect,” I groan, resting inside her for a moment, so I don’t spill myself in one thrust. But with her it’s difficult.
It’s been too long.
Wanting.
Needing.
Craving.
I pull out slightly, just to the tip, my gaze never leaving her as I thrust inside her once again, this time going even deeper.
Holy hell.
She grips my shoulders for support, her hips moving in harmony with my own as we start to move together.
The connection between us is almost tangible. I know that after tonight, I’ll never survive without her.
This. Her. She will be my breaking point.
I run a hand down her thigh, bringing it up around my waist, and thrust deeper.
Her fingers curl in the sheets, bracing herself as I slam into her harder, making her moans intensify with each thrust.
Pleasure shoots through me, sizzling along every nerve. Every motion brings me closer. When she cries out with pleasure, her muscles pulsing around my cock, I fall over the edge, spilling myself so deep inside her that I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.
“Holy hell,” I growl, collapsing on top of her; my breath heavy, skin slickened with sweat.
When I roll over, taking her with me and wrapping my arms around her, I have this nagging feeling at the back of my skull that something is wrong. But it’s drowned out by euphoria and a few moments later, with Kennedy wrapped in my arms I let myself drift off.
I’ll deal with any repercussions tomorrow.
A smile tugs at my lips as sleep consumes me. Because for the first time, in as long as I can remember, I’m happy.
But like every ounce of happiness I’ve ever felt, I have no doubt this won’t last.
It never does.
Chapter 10
Kennedy
Present
I’ve managed to avoid Thunder for the past few days, but I can always feel him, even when he isn’t here. Like now. He’s gone out, and I’m left pacing the floor of his oversized apartment.
What am I going to do?
I care about him.
Hell, if I’m honest with myself, I’m in love with him. Have been for a very long time.
But he’s still… Thunder.
He’s not boyfriend material, let alone dad material. And from the way he’s been acting since I moved in here, that’s exactly what he wants.
To be part of this baby’s life.
But then what?
I give him three months before his eyes start to wander, and he takes off again.
No. I can’t do this. Won’t let my heart get trampled on again.
One night.
That’s all it was.
One amazing, perfect, soul-consuming night.
I rub my stomach and wince because forever it will be so much more than that.
The apartment door slams shut, and I startle at the sound.
God, I’ve been so damn jumpy lately, feeling like everything is about to come crashing down on me.
“Oh my God, what happened?” I flinch when I see the black eye he’s sporting and the cracked lip that breaks open and leaks fresh blood when he frowns.
“I’m fine,” He says, limping slightly as he walks into the kitchen and grabs an icepack from the freezer, placing it over his eye.
“You’re fighting again?” I try to keep the fear out of my voice, but it’s there.
“Just a few practice matches,” he mumbles, not looking at me. “Need something to get my mind off…”
Silence stretches between us. Painful and long.
“Let me look at it,” I say, moving closer.
He watches me warily.
I know I hurt his feelings the other night when I pulled away from him. He’s been even moodier than he normally is since then.
Taking the icepack, I touch the green and yellow patterns around his orbital bone. “Looks like it was more than a practice.”
He shrugs, but doesn’t give me any more details.
“How’s your leg? Looks like you were limping.”
“I’m fine,” he growls out, stepping away from me and going back to the fridge, pulling out a beer and uncapping it before taking a deep swallow. “I don’t need you worrying about me.”
“I always worry.”
“You shouldn’t,” he bites out.
I hold his angry gaze.
“No. I guess I shouldn’t.”
I start to leave, and I hear him mutter a curse, then slam the bottle on the counter.
“I didn’t mean that.” He grabs my arm, turning me.
But there’s still so much irritation in his expression it’s like a slap to the face.
“I don’t understand you,” my voice shakes with emotion, and I hate that he does this to me. “One second I think you… care about me, and the next I’m pretty sure I’m the last person you want to be around.”
“I do care about you,” he grits out. “Too damn much. But this… it’s hard. Harder than I thought.”
I suck in a trembling breath. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” The word is more of a command, and there’s a flash of fear that blazes in his eyes.
Silence.
He’s still touching me. His hand on my forearm. It’s the only thing I can feel. That and the intensity that sparks between us, ready to explode, or consume, or both.
“Then…” I lick my lips. “What do you want?”
“What do you want, Kennedy? That’s the question I need answered. Because I’d move the fucking moon to give you it. You have to know that.”
I do.
And I don’t.
Our relationship is so damn confusing.
And I’m not sure if what I want is even on his radar.
Him. Us. A family.
“I…” Fear squeezes my throat closed. “I care about you.”
“Care?” His lips tighten, nostrils flare.
Maybe that’s not what he wanted to hear. But it’s the truth. At least half of it.
“Yeah, I care.” I lift my chin and straighten my back. “Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. But you’re my best friend. And even if nothing else, I can’t…” Stupid tears burn my eyes. “I don’t want to do this without you.”
His arms are around me. “I already told you, I won’t let you. I’m here for you. No matter what.”
God, I feel so tired right now. Emotionally and physically, like the weight of the world is pressing down on me. Like my damn life is one of those massive thousand-piece jigsaw puzzles, and I’m missing the most essential pieces.
His palm rests on my cheek. Soft. Gentle. Like I’m the most precious thing in the world. And yet at the same time his expression is hard, edged with an underlying anger that I don’t understand.
“I’m exhausted.” I place my hands on his chest, and push away, but he doesn’t let me.
“You still didn’t tell me what you want,” his voice is gentler now, almost begging me for an answer.
“Are you really that blind?” I blink, and a tear falls across my cheek.
“Tell me, Kennedy. Anything you want. It’s yours.”
My breath hitches, and before I can stop myself I say the words I know I’ll regret. “You, Liam. I want you.”
Chapter 11
Thunder
My heart pounds in my chest, wild, crazy, and something primal inside me, comes undone. But then there’s my damn head, reminding me, warning me that she’s said those words before. And look how that turned out, with her running straight into my brother’s arms. Her pregnant with his child.
But she’s back.
She’s here.
And where Kennedy is concerned I’ve always been a sucker for punishment.
I've spent the last months trying to get over her. To rid myself of the constant ache in my chest. But she was always there.
Always.
Because you can’t live without your heart, and that’s what t
he woman was. An essential part of my being.
My fingers cup the back of her head, tangling in the dark waves.
“You have me. Every messed up, shredded part of my soul is yours.”
Her lips tremble, quivering with the deep breath she takes in, and I see the doubt in her eyes.
“Thunder…”
Fuck. I prefer my real name on her lips. It almost feels like she’s put a barricade around herself by using that damn nickname.
I lower my mouth to hers.
Soft.
Slow.
Taking my time, until I feel some of her reservation leave her, until her body molds into mine, and she returns the kiss with all the pent-up emotion that’s been building between us for God knows how long.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
That’s what she is. What every cell in my body cries out as her palms skate up my chest, around my neck, pulling me closer.
When we kiss, I feel it. The connection. Her willingness. Her heart. It beats for me, not my fucking brother.
I push the damn thought away. Colin doesn’t belong here. This moment is mine. And so is the girl. I place one hand on her stomach. Both of them. I’ll make damn sure of it.
Bending down, I pick her up, and she lets out a small cry. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you to bed.”
“Put me down, you’re going to break your back.”
I snort, because it isn’t until she’s in my arms that I realize how light she actually is. Too light. I’m going to have to change that.
“Did you eat today?”
“Yes.”
I raise an eyebrow at her.
“I did. I promise.”
I kiss her forehead and gently place her on my bed.
This is where she belongs. Not in that damn guestroom.
She’s watching me through hooded eyes, and I see the mix of desire and reservation there.
Maybe I’m going too quickly, but I need to make her mine. Make her realize who she belongs to.
I pull my shirt over my head and discard it on the floor. She keeps watching me. When I move towards her, crawling across the bed, I can’t ignore the fear I see in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…”
“You don’t want this?”
“I do… I just.” She glances down and bites her bottom lip. “Look at me. You can’t want…”
I tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze. “You’re gorgeous, Kennedy. But if you’re worried about the baby…”
“No. I read that it’s…” Color creeps up her neck to her cheeks. “It’s fine. I want this. I want you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I grin down at her, and slowly start to undress her, murmuring, “Let me see you.”
When we’re both naked, she clings to me, and the look in her eyes stirs more than just passion, it stirs that primal place in my soul that wants—no needs—to protect her.
“You’re safe,” I murmur against her lips, positioning myself on top of her, careful not to put too much weight on her stomach.
We start slow, but the days, the months apart, have felt like torture, and my own desperate need begins to escalate, returned by her own demanding rhythm.
“Mine,” I growl against her neck. “You’re mine, Kennedy. Say it.”
“I’m yours,” she whimpers, back arched, eyes closed, as her body rides the first wave of pleasure.
When my self-control finally overrides my need to hold onto every perfect moment, I allow the waves of pleasure to rip through me, spilling myself deep inside her, and I realize in that moment that I forget to use a condom.
Not that it makes any difference. She’s already pregnant, and I’m clean. But still, it’s not like me to be so careless. But with her, my head isn’t screwed on straight. Never has been with her.
I cup her precious face in my hands and hold her gaze, my cock still buried inside of her, and I whisper the words I’d been too afraid to say until now, “I love you, too.”
Chapter 12
Kennedy
Morning sun breaks through the blinds, and I stir in Thunder’s bed, feeling… incredible. It’s been a long time since I woke up without the heaviness that’s been pressing down on my chest since I found out I was pregnant. There’s a small flicker of hope inside me that feels like everything just might be all right.
The feeling only lasts a split second.
A woman’s voice carries down the hall. Shrill and familiar. My heart stops and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I roll over, finding Thunder gone.
He loves you, my heart reminds me. He told me. But still, the knot of jealousy that forms in my throat has me quickly putting on my discarded clothes, and starting towards the voices.
“What are you doing here?” Thunder is standing with his back to me, shirtless, the muscles in his back bunching with tension.
One more step and I see why. All my fears confirmed.
Jennifer Flynn is standing in the doorway, practically shoving her silicone breasts in his face. Her hand is on his arm, manicured fingers trailing across the ink seductively.
“I missed you,” she purrs. “And you haven’t returned my calls.”
My heart sinks in my stomach. It’s like California all over again.
I’d used the plane ticket Colin had given me. He was playing in Los Angeles, and I knew Thunder was covering the game. There hadn’t been much communication after he left to start his new job. But I hadn’t thought much about it. He was busy. So was I. But when the not one, but ten pregnancy tests showed positive, I knew I had to talk to him, in person.
My first mistake was thinking he’d be happy to see me.
My second, was thinking he’d be alone.
Because when I arrived at the hotel and went to his room, I’d found her in it.
“Sorry. I thought this was someone else’s room.” My stomach does a little flip, praying that the man at the front desk made a mistake.
“If you’re looking for Thunder, he’s going to be a bit busy tonight.” The woman gave me a salacious grin.
I recognized her.
“You’re his boss, right?” And his ex, at least that’s what the tabloids said. Thunder never confirmed it, but by the way she was draped all over him in some of the photos I’d seen, I never doubted it.
“I’m a little bit more than that.” She smiled and drummed her nails on the door. “But then he’s a hard one to pin down for longer than a night. I get the impression you already know that.”
Tears burned my eyes, blurring my vision.
This isn’t happening. It can’t be. Thunder wouldn’t do this. Not to me.
But the evidence was standing right in front of me.
Just like it is now.
Jennifer’s eyes widen when she sees me now, then narrow when her gaze lowers to my stomach. “I didn’t realize you had company,” she says through gritted teeth, a snarl curling her lips.
I stand there frozen, my breath coming out in small pants.
Then her eyes widen, and I know she recognizes me.
“You’re the girl from the hotel, right?” She chuckles darkly, moving around Thunder and starting towards me. “Well I can see now why you were so eager to talk with him.”
Thunder looks at me, brows drawn down. And it’s clear that she never gave him the message that I’d come by his room.
My stomach tightens, and I can feel the tears building behind my eyes. “I’m going to go–”
“Don’t move.” Thunder points at me, then turns back to her. “You need to leave.”
“Always so serious.” She bats her fake eyelashes up at him. “I was in town and thought I’d come over and go through the details of your new contract. If you haven’t had dinner, we can—”
Thunder grumbles something I can’t hear, but Jennifer obviously does, because her collagen filled
lips turn down in a pout.
“The offer won’t last forever. And neither will the contract.” She rakes her fingers down his arm and he captures her wrist in his hand.
“Things have changed.”
“I can see that.” She glances at me, disdain etched on her expression, then back at Thunder. “Call me when you get bored with playing house. Because men like you always get bored.”
He slams the door and stands there for a minute with his hand rested on it, his back to me.
“I can’t do this,” I say, tears building, emotion strangling me. “Not again. Go after her if you want. Because I can’t…”
I start to move, needing to be anywhere but here, but the moment I do, he turns and pins me with a look that stops me in my tracks.
“Don’t even think about walking away until you tell me what the hell she was talking about.”
“What does it matter?” I can barely say the words because my emotions clog my throat. “You made your choice.”
“What choice?” He moves quickly, gripping my shoulders when I start to walk away.
“Kennedy. What choice?”
“Her. You chose her.”
“I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re going to stand there and lie to me? After everything? She was in your room, half-naked. I saw her. Talked to her. She told me that you were a couple.”
The exasperated look on his face only makes me angrier.
“I saw you… after we… after we were together… you were already screwing her.” Every word is torture.
His face darkens, eyes sparking with fury. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“I saw her.”
“I don’t know what the hell you think you saw, but I didn’t touch her. Jesus Christ, Kennedy. You’re the only woman I’ve had in my bed in over a year.”
I shake my head not willing to believe it.
“I saw her,” I repeat, this time my voice doesn’t hold the same conviction. “She was in your room.”
His eyes pinch closed, and he rubs his temples; when he opens them again, he narrows his gaze on me.
“When was this?”
“I used the ticket Colin gave me to go see you. During the start of the playoffs. You were there, covering the game. I wanted… I thought…”
