by C. R. Daems
"Thank you. I enjoyed your skit with Yoan. I wouldn't like to get you mad. You're obviously very accurate…or Yoan's in love with you and willing to die for your attention." He looked at me intently.
"No, Ilka has designs on him. He has more to fear from her than me. I may miss; she wouldn't."
He threw his head back and laughed. "Come, let's sit by the fire and talk. I want to know more about you, if you don't mind."
I'll tell you all you want to hear about my visual-self.
We talked for hours. I told him some of my life at Ahasha and my subsequent life with the Dorian clan. He was attentive and asked many questions. In turn, I learned about his life growing up in the Tobar clan. I was disappointed when everyone returning from the evening acts interrupted us. I had enjoyed talking with Luka. After he left and everyone began to retire for the night, I wandered into the forest to relax. Kasi had returned to me as nothing of interest had happened at the Intermediate's house. I heard Luka long before he appeared.
"I had been told this is where you hide," Luka said as he walked up. "Notice, I didn't sneak up behind you this time."
"Probably a good thing." I was happy to see him but didn't want him doing this on a regular basis. This was my cover, providing me a convenient ruse to leave camp without any questions. "Do you have a heart, Luka?"
"Yes, but I protect it well. There are a lot of wily women out there." To my surprise, he didn't smile. It was a great line, or he was actually serious. We talked for another hour before he gave in.
"You don't seem to need sleep, but I do." He stood, lifted me to my feet, and kissed me—long and tender. I tingled from my head to my toes. I had never thought of myself as a woman. In the mountains, I was a girl-child. At Ahasha, I was a student and neuter. Here, an Assassin. Sex was something other people did, not Shadows. I melted in his embrace. He released me and took my hand as we walked back to my wagon. "Good night, Ryana. I'll see you tomorrow, if you wish."
I nodded and climbed into my wagon to sort out my feelings. The Sisters had explained sex, its ramifications, and the drugs that kept you from having a child. I didn't know what would happen or what I wanted to happen. Mixing the drug, I decided better safe than sorry. A child didn't appear part of my assignment.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kaslos—Tuska Province
For the next several nights, nothing happened at the Intermediate's house, but Luka seemed to be everywhere I was. We talked and laughed over the smallest things. He gave me lessons in tightrope walking, and in return, I showed him some of the finer points of knife throwing. We kissed, and his hands roamed my body, sending glorious tingles though me. I was relieved when he didn't press me to go further. Before he did, I needed to know more than I did, which bordered on nothing. Between acts, I cornered Alida and Ilka.
"I need advice about Luka and sex," I said, pulling them aside where no one could hear.
"Sex gets you kids. Kids before you're married means it's unlikely anyone in the clans will marry you. But every man will try to have sex with you because they think you're easy. Even if you don't get pregnant, word will get around, and it will be much harder to find a mate. Kissing and roaming hands is considered normal while you're trying to find a husband. The best advice is don't," Alida said. She seemed very serious. Ilka nodded agreement. "We're a small community and everyone knows everyone else's business."
"Luka's the biggest liar in all the clans. More than one girl has succumbed to his charm. To his credit, he doesn't brag about it afterward. He isn't interested in marriage, because he's having too much fun," Ilka added.
I left with much to think about. According to Ilka and Alida, the clan had a taboo on sex before marriage. I wasn't clan, but my visual-self had to act in a manner consistent with their values. If I hadn't been adopted into the clan, I wasn't sure what I would be willing to do. I felt so confused.
I continued to see Luka. We talked a lot and had sessions of glorious kissing. He didn't try or suggest more. I was glad because it avoided a confrontation. I had decided I wouldn't have sex with him regardless of my own desires.
* * *
Four nights later, as I climbed into bed, Kasi spotted two figures ghosting along the street close to the Intermediate's house. A Wizard, his robe black with a silver swirl pattern on the hem and on the sleeves, stood at the corner. Dreading the inevitable confrontation, I threw my clothes on and hurried in a different direction than normal to avoid Luka. Using Kasi's eyes, I wove through the vacant streets.
When I reached the corner behind them, the Wizard had found the Shadows and stood smiling in their direction. The Sisters half crouched and pressed back against the wall in the deep shadows. I slipped up behind them.
"Go," I said. The nearest spun, her knife ready.
"You'll lose this fight. Run. I'll hold him as long as I can. Meet me two days from now, two hundred paces behind the Intermediate's house." I grabbed the back of her hand and could feel her Assassin's sigil. I knew she could also feel mine. "Go, Sisters, that's an order. You're interfering with my fun." I stepped past them as a gust of wind forced us back a step. "He and I have an argument to settle."
I meant it to be lighthearted—an Assassin/Spy's bravo. It was not. The Wizard wanted to kill Shadows, maybe already had. I wanted to stop the killing, the hunting of my Sisters. Yes, we had an argument settle. One of us would die here tonight.
"Come, Sister, you can't win," one said as they backed around the corner.
Another blast slammed me into a wall. I gasped for breath and dove, rolling as a blast of air blew past me. The force hit where I had been a moment before. I dove for a doorway. A gust of wind swept by, tearing shutters from two nearby windows. They scraped along the wall shattering windows and finally clattered to the ground. I stepped out and threw a dagger. The Wizard brushed it aside with a gust of wind.
I dashed across the street headed toward another doorway as I realized that, unlike the Fire Wizard, he didn't need to drop his shield to attack me. My hope of killing him like I had the Fire Wizard was gone. A blast of wind tore at the doorway where I had fled and threw me into the door. Pain shot through my ribs and arm. I jumped for a terrace jutting above but couldn't hold on as another gust tore my grip loose. The street cobbles knocked the wind from my lungs as I hit. I lay panting when another blast pushed me, scraping against rocks and rubble. My blacks ripped and skin shredded as I slid.
Voices reverberated in my head. My father shouting, "Worthless girl…" A softer voice, "These games will teach you the secrets of the Shadows…"
Kasi and Anil waited for my word to attack. I wouldn't give it. They couldn't survive the wind circling the Wizard. I rolled toward the wall, stifling a scream from the pain. Images flashed through my mind…at the table before bedtime, stirring a mug of hot milk…faster… The faster the outside turned, the deeper the center went—the vortex of the current. The Wizard laughed as I pushed myself to my knees. Another gust rolled me along the wall. On my knees, I sent a knife arching into the air. The wind spun it around. Another. It spun after the first. Another. A blast of wind slammed me into the wall and onto the ground. I lay there awaiting the end. The final blast that would end the contest. When it failed to come, I realized the wind had died. Looking up, I saw a knife stuck in the Wizard's head. Blood streamed down his forehead and over his eyes. He was only wounded and would have the wind back up soon. I groaned as I rolled onto my back.
"Attack," I mentally screamed. Kasi and Anil dove into the silence. They landed on his shoulders and sank fangs into his neck. The Wizard dropped to his knees. I struggled to my knees and blew a rocktail dart into his chest, and my lungs felt like they had imploded. I crawled on my hand and knees to him and pulled out the dart and my knife. Grabbing his hair, I pulled back his head. With no regret, I cut his throat.
Look inside yourself. Calm. Only the present exists. With the pain pushed back, I rose to my feet. No one saw me as I slipped silently through the streets. But my mind was on the arrogance
of the Wizards, thinking themselves gods and the Shadows mere beasts.
Tonight the gods would bleed.
At the tavern, I slipped behind the building and picked the lock. A few minutes' search and I had four bottles of brandy, some old rags, and a flint. I left a tora on the bar, relocked the door, and disappeared into the night.
Kasi's echoes guided me through the still streets and through a narrow stand of woods to the Wind Wizards' guild house, a two-story black and silver building with a wide grassy lawn and a scattering of trees. A dozen black flags fluttered along the rim of the roof. In the middle rose a circle of arches, each with a large silver bell clanging in the breeze. Since there was no wind now, the Wizards' power created the effect.
When a drifting cloud covered the moon, I managed a slow run across the lawn. At the house, I used a windowsill to jump and grab a rail on an iron terrace. I heaved myself over. After a few minutes to steady myself, I climbed onto the upper rail, caught a flagpole, and swung onto the roof. I lay there panting, knowing my body should be screaming with pain and soon would be. I rose and crept toward the front, emptying the first bottle as I went. The liquid ran down the roof and dribbled onto the wall. I pulled out the rags I had brought and stuffed one in each bottle after soaking them with brandy. I struck a flame to each one and they caught with a whoosh. I dropped one down one of the three chimneys. It crashed and exploded. Someone screamed. I threw another one to where I had previously poured the first bottle. Fire flowed over the edge of the roof and down the sides. At the same time, the flames on the roof lashed higher. As I dropped onto the terrace, a Wind Wizard came running around the corner. Looking up, he saw me and wind began pushing me back against the wall. I flipped my remaining bottle arcing through the air, imagining him one of the narrow-necked bottles. It disappeared into the Wizard's growing vortex, and he flared like a giant candle. I dropped to the ground and staggered into the woods, hoping to hold out a little longer. A short time later, a thousand flaming arrows tore through me, and I collapsed.
* * *
When I woke, thin fingers of dawn lit the eastern sky. I was desperate to make it back to my wagon before everyone began the morning tasks. It seemed impossible as every step sent searing pain from my foot to my brain. Focused on one step at a time, I eventually reached the wagons. One of the lads was watering the horses, but I stumbled past without being seen. In the wagon, I stripped and passed out.
A loud knock on the door brought me back to consciousness. "Ryana, are you there?" Marku called. He sounded concerned.
I squeak out something close to "Yes," which I regretted instantly. Pains slammed into my chest and ribs.
"Can I come in?"
"Yes."
He peered in. "You're naked. I'll be right back. Don't move."
I couldn't stop a choked laugh or the resulting jolt of pain through my ribs. I didn't want to breathe much less move. I lay as still as I could, thinking. Had I done the right thing challenging the Wizard? I still hadn't located Sir Haris and Lord G. Now I had lost the chance. The Wind Wizards were supporters, not instigators. My assignment was to find the force behind the killing, not their supporters. Right and wrong were illusive, and I felt too young to differentiate between the two. A few minutes later, someone opened the door and closed it immediately. Judging by the voice, it was Stela.
"Marku, get me the satchel with my salves and herbs." She knelt by my cot and gently inspected me. "What happened, child?"
I hated to lie to her, but it couldn't be avoided. "I was walking in the forest behind the wagons when some large animal began chasing me. So I ran. When I tried to look back to see how close it was, I tripped. It sent me tumbling over a rocky embankment. When I woke up, I found myself lying between two boulders." Each word took all my strength. My lie wasn't bad considering how hard it was to concentrate with my head spinning.
"That lie is almost plausible –" She stopped and got up when Marku knocked again. He handed her the bag.
"How's she?"
"Good considering she tripped while running and fell down a slope of rocks. Go, I'll call you when she's decent." She closed the door and returned to me. I hadn't realized I was naked. I hadn't had the energy to dress after I had managed to put my blacks away. "Not quite as good as the one about the Fire Wizard." She didn't say anything else while she applied a variety of salves and herbs, some cold, some burnt, and others that stank like a skunk. She was gentle, but I had to bite my lip till it bled to keep from screaming.
"Time for the truth, Ryana. You weren't asked to leave Ahasha, and we aren't taking you to Scio. You're a Shadow. Marku knew didn't he? The truth."
"Yes." I didn't want Marku to get into trouble for protecting me, and I didn't want to put the clan in danger. "I'll leave tonight, Stela."
She laughed then sobered. "I believe you would try. I'm not mad at Marku. The gods know we owe Mistress Morag…and you for the horses and Ilka. I can't believe Morag sent a child to do whatever she wants. How did she expect you to survive?"
"She sent me because I was the best choice. I'm too young to be the one the Shadow Sisters would send on this assignment. And she doesn't expect me to survive." I looked into her eyes. Kind eyes. "Stela, would you give your life to save the clan?"
"Yes, without regret… I see. You do it for your clan. Are you an Assassin? Forget I asked, it's none of my business."
I had to decide what to say. She deserved honesty. "It's complicated. The Shadows have three ranks…" I spent a few minutes describing our system and its hierarchy. "I'm an Assassin/Spy working to find who wants us dead and why."
"You killed the Fire Wizard to protect Ilka, and the Wind Wizards to protect the Shadows?" she asked. She rubbed her temples, frowning, as she tried to come to grips with the situation and weigh the danger. I nodded.
"Morag doesn't know who's attacking the Shadows, then. Do you?"
"She sent me to find out. It's major. Rulers, Wizards, and guilds are involved. I don't know why or who's at the center of it. I told Marku, I would leave rather than put the clan in danger. You've done more than Morag could expect of your clan. I, in her name, release you from any debt to her."
Tears gleamed in her eyes.
"Mistress chose well. I don't envy you, child. No one your age should have to bear that much responsibility. You can't release us from our debt to the Shadows any more than you can forsake your clan. You may stay as long as you want. Now sleep. I'll repeat your story. It isn't as good as the Fire Wizard one, but it isn't bad." She shook her head and left mumbling to herself.
* * *
After sleeping the rest of the day and the next night, I awoke with the feeling it must be midmorning. To make it look like my injuries weren't very bad, I'd have to get up and out. It took forever to get dressed, with stops in between to rest. I climbed carefully out of the wagon, each step a reminder of the beating I'd taken.
"Ryana is up, everyone," Ilka shouted and instantly I had a crowd walking with me to the seats surrounding the fire pit. "How are you feeling?"
"Like you rode all of the wagons over me." I gave my best smile. I did feel a bit better than last night. Luckily, I was young and would heal fast. At least I could walk upright. "I twisted around to look back at something chasing me when my foot snagged on something, and I tripped over the edge of a cliff. I'm glad this is the last night in Naze; it will give me a few days to recover." It sounded like a reasonable story to me. Hopefully, no one would go looking for a slope with rocks.
"Sorry, Lord zo'Stanko is having a party five days from now and wants us to give the entertainment. He particularly asked to see Yoan and your skit," Alida said. That was fortunate as it would give me a chance to find Lord G and Sir Haris, if I could recover by then. Just then Luka came walking around one of the wagons. "Ryana, I just heard about your accident. I was worried when I didn't see you last night." He stared at me before giving me a kiss on the forehead. He looked around the circle of people. "Has everyone heard about the fight the Wizards are ha
ving? They say two Wind Wizards were killed last night. The Fire Wizards set the Wind Wizards' guild house on fire."
Marku nodded. "The Earth Wizards have joined the Fire Wizards. Between the three, they are destroying half the city. The Wizards are a law unto themselves. Even Lord zo'Stanko can't stop them. I don't want us mixed up in any of it, so stick close to camp."
"Ha!" Ilka snorted. "Let them tear each other apart. Serves them right." Talk buzzed. I sat trying to blank it all out. I had to think about Sir Haris and Lord G. The gods and Lord zo'Stanko had favored me with a second chance. Luka wasn't helping the thinking as he leaned over me.
"Am I going to see you tonight?" he whispered.
"Yes, I'll meet you at the edge of the forest, as usual." I gave him a weak smile. He kissed my forehead again and left.
* * *
I sat on a fallen tree trunk waiting for Luka, thinking about my life, the Shadow Sisters, the Dorian clan, and Luka. I loved all three. But in the end, it didn't matter. I'd eventually die for one or the other. I didn't mind. It would be worth it. Life was to be lived one day at a time—not yesterday or tomorrow. Marku was heading toward me through the trees. I could hear the difference between him and Luka, like Kasi and Anil heard the bugs they chased.
"How are you?" he asked as he sat down next to me.
"Sore and confused," I said. I needed someone to talk to. I wished it had been Sister Morag, but she wasn't here and Marku was.
"What about, afraid?"
"No, I'm resigned to my future. I can no more change that than you can change being a gypsy, and neither of us would want to."
"I wish you could. Everyone in the clan loves you. I think you've even captured Luka's heart." He sat silently for a while. "I know you put on an act and make up wonderful stories to hide behind, but you can't hide that you care for the Shadows, the clan, and Luka. That's real. I don't think Mistress Morag knew how well she chose."
"Yes, I do care. I don't know whether that's good or bad. I'm too young and inexperienced to know. She told me to rely on my instincts. I am and it feels right."
