by C. R. Daems
"Thieves, thieves!" I shouted as I came half running out of the forest. "The horses!" I yelled, walking in their direction.
The clan came alive. Men and women poured out of the wagons, knives in hand. I stopped screaming, content to watch the two men tripping, stumbling, and running into limbs and shrubs as they made a hasty retreat. They were better than our clown acts. I doubted they would ever try to steal from a gypsy camp again.
"Ryana, where?" I stood there with tears running down my cheeks from laughing. "Are you hurt? Talk to me," Yoan said, holding me at arm's length. By now, everyone was up.
"Two men were sneaking up to the horses. Probably Sandel's excuse for thieves. I shouted, and as I expected, they ran off like they were chased by hounds." That had been fun. I'd had little of that lately.
"You've done it again," Alida said, hugging me. "You're better than camp dogs… I didn't mean…" she turned red. I laughed again. Naturally, this was another excuse to sit around eating, talking, and dancing. I had to retell the story at least five more times. As the party broke up, Marku walked over to me.
"You couldn't see them from where you said you where."
"I may have left out a few annoying details." I laughed again as I walked toward my wagon, leaving Marku standing there shaking his head.
* * *
The next night I stood watching the acts and scanning the audience. My enemies knew I was in Dazel and seriously wounded. Because no one had found a body, they had to assume I lived. Halfway through the acts, the assassin who had been in the fortuneteller tent the previous night looked at me. I nodded.
After that, I lost sight of him. My tent was normal that night. After the evening meal, I wandered into the trees. By now, the clan expected it and was relieved I did. I sat a five-minute walk away from the camp, watching Kasi and Anil. Kasi alerted me to a man with a knife, coming from behind me. It was the assassin from the other night. I decided to wait to see what he wanted before I killed him. I hoped I didn't have to. I was sick of killing.
"Good evening, are you back for another telling?" I smiled when he stopped.
"Did you see into your future?"
"No, I can tell others' future but not my own. Funny, isn't it. Perhaps I'm too involved to see it clearly."
"How did you know I was behind you?"
"I've ears." I smiled.
And eyes in the back of my head.
His knife disappeared and he came around in front of me.
"How much does it cost to buy someone else's future?" he asked, frowning and playing with a tora.
"If I sold others' telling, I would be a fraud. Telling it to another would change the outcome and would, therefore, not be a true fortune. Not to mention, I'd soon be dead."
He stood silent for a moment, and then laughed.
"But what if you are a fake?"
"Then paying me to tell you something I made up wouldn't be of much value, would it?"
"I guess you wouldn't be surprised to find that someone might want to kill you for what you know." The assassin stood staring as he asked. He was debating whether to kill me or not. Little did he know his life depended on his decision.
"No, Lord Phellen had intended to flog me to death to find out what I had told First Lady wu'Lichak."
"Why didn't he?"
"Someone stopped him. What most of the fools don't realize is that although I see someone's future, it doesn't imply I understand what it means. Only the person hearing it knows that."
"You're a dangerous woman. You own too many people's secrets."
"If I were a fake, I would be rich."
"You knew exactly what I was when you told me my fortune, didn't you."
"Yes, you're an assassin." I paused, lost in the moment and ready for an attack. When he relaxed, I continued. "Rich man, poor man, beggar man…assassin? What difference is it to me?"
"Good night. I enjoyed dancing with you. If you saw clearly, I'll see you in Dazel." He smiled a little and strolled away.
* * *
As we were packing to leave the next morning, Stela walked toward my wagon. She must have been well into her forties because she had a grown daughter, who had married a man from another clan, but she looked ten years younger with her smooth face and long auburn hair, which hung loose. Today she had on a bright skirt with shades of greens, reds, blues, and yellows that ran together like a rainbow, a white ruffled blouse with red trim, and red and yellow ribbons in her hair.
"Good morning, daughter." Her smile lit up her face and gave me a warm feeling. She had been calling me daughter more often lately, which made me feel wanted.
"Good morning, mother." I gave her a hug. The Shadows were fond of me, and I felt wanted by them. But I had never felt loved, and my mother hadn't shown me much.
"It appears you've had a boring couple of days. How are you feeling?"
"Boring but entertaining. I had an assassin visit me in the forest last night. I had told him his future, and he had decided he needed to kill me because I knew too much."
Stela's hand covered her mouth like she wanted to stop from saying something. "Did you kill…fight?"
"No, we had a long talk. In the end, he decided he liked and could trust me." I grinned at Stela. She shook her head in resignation.
"You call that entertaining. We should stop assigning you to the fortuneteller tent."
"Don't. I enjoy it. People are very interesting—rich and poor. To answer your other question, I'm recovering. I think I'll be able to join the acts by the time we reach Dazel."
"How? You were close to death." She held me tight against her.
"I've had excellent care. Besides, the Shadows think pain is a lazy person's excuse to get out of doing something. You wouldn't want them to consider me lazy, would you?"
"It's little wonder the Shadows are viewed with awe and fear."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Road to Tarlon—Dazel Province
By the time we left Sandel, the sun had baked the earth and the road dry. Deep in thought, I hardly noticed the bouncing and dust from the wagon in front of me. When I reached Dazel, what would I do? I had sent what I knew back with the Shadows I sent home. I doubt the Shadow Sisters want me anymore, so I'll discard my blacks and…what? Will my enemies still chase me? If I stay with the gypsies, does that endanger them? Do I want to marry Luka and does he still want to marry me? If he does, should I tell him the truth? Will that turn him away? Do I have a future? My head ached with questions I couldn't or feared to answer. Yoan joined me on the wagon, to my relief.
"What are you going to do when we reach Tarlon?" he asked.
"I don't know. I'm confused and not sure what I should or can do."
"Stay with the clan. Become clan. Everyone loves you, including Luka." He smiled. I didn't.
"It's been a long time. He's probably found a girl or two better than me." I really felt sorry for myself. Yoan shook his head.
"No, you've stolen his heart. He won't be able to think about anything else until he sees you. No woman would ever dream of telling Luka he had to wait for her to consider his proposal. They would insist on a wedding before he had a chance to change his mind." He grinned. At the time, I hadn't been sure if I would live, if I wanted to get married, and if…
"For gypsy women, things are different. Their choices are limited to the clans' men and only to those who aren't closely related. Even after they meet the right man, they wait many seasons while he earns a wagon and everything they need. I can understand why they are in a rush and will accept any reasonable proposal. Not to mention, Luka's a very good catch," I said, concluding life was complicated for them as well as for me.
Yoan shook his head. "That's how it is. Making it worse, we need new blood. We love you and want you to stay, but that's in the back of our minds. You're at least going to stay for the king's performance?"
"I'll stay. By then I might have the answer."
"The Tobar clan should arrive while we're there. You'll have to give him
an answer then, won't you?"
"Yes, I'll have to answer to many people then." I lapsed into silence. I think Yoan realized our talk had ended and left. We stopped early that night. Marku wanted everyone rested when we reached Tarlon. The mood was festive. I sat off to the side, trying to calm my emotions. I couldn't make any decision while my mind whirled in turmoil. Tonight after our evening meal, I would go off by myself. I would seek to be blind, so that I could see clearly. That would require time and solitude.
"Daughter, you seem despondent," Stela said as she sat down next to me.
I wanted to be alone to think, and I wanted company so I didn't have to. I had always known what I wanted: to be a Shadow, to find who was killing Shadows, and to walk in the shadow of my Sisters. Today I didn't know who I was, so how could I know what I wanted?
"Yes, mother." I didn't know what else to say.
"I wish I could help, but I can't. So much has happened to you. It has you doubting yourself." She wiped a tear from my cheek. "You're a Shadow. Use your training to find yourself."
After she had left, I wandered away from the wagons far enough so I couldn't see them or the evening fires. I sat there with my legs crossed, feet resting on my thighs, watching Anil and Kasi feeding on small bugs and occasionally the horses. Slowly, calm settled over my chaotic mind. I existed in the space between the past and the future, where nothing mattered but this moment.
I had sought this place many times to fight but never to find myself. The gray light of dawn brought me back to reality. I felt renewed, ready to face my fate without knowing why or how.
When I reached the wagons, an Earth Wizard stood some ten paces from Marku's wagon. Everyone was looking and watching him warily.
Marku jumped down. "What do you seek, Wizard?"
"I wish to speak to the fortuneteller."
Everyone turned and looked at me. Although I was still a hundred paces away, I somehow heard the Wizard's words.
"Why?" Marku looked back toward me.
"I wish a telling."
As I neared them, the Wizard turned and walked away. I shook my head at Marku and followed him. After a few minutes, he stopped.
"Shadow." He gave me a small bow of his head. I bowed back.
"How may I help you, Wizard?"
"There are two roadblocks ahead. Your enemies are desperate to stop you. Because they don't know what you look like, they are killing everyone in the hope that one will be you. A Fire and Wind Wizard support them, which gives them absolute power. They are raping the women, killing men, women, and children, and destroying anything they don't keep for themselves. They are a preview of what Hesland will be if the king's overthrown."
"Will you Earth Wizards help me?"
"We're in a difficult position. We can't be seen as against the Fire and Wind Wizards as a guild. Wizards have, over the cycles, found that one on one, we are equal and no one wins, but guild against guild we would destroy the country. We might create the chaos you fight to prevent. But if in the end it's necessary to save the kingdom, our guild will unite with you against the king's enemies."
"I'm alone, then?"
"No, Shadow. We've agreed to mutual support and will honor that pact. We've several Earth Wizards along the path who will give you their support. It must be seen as one Earth Wizard helping you and not the guild, just as the Fire and Wind Wizards pretend to be one Wizard aiding a roadblock."
"I thank you for warning me and what help you're able to give. How many mercenaries?"
"There are three or four at each roadblock along with a Wizard. They have another four to five spread out on either side to keep anyone from sneaking around them. That line is some hundred paces in front of the roadblock to ensure they can see anyone leaving the road. The killing has been bad, but it will get worse."
"I assume you're free to travel the road?'
"Of course. No one other than a Wizard, or the Shadow of Death, would threaten an Earth Wizard." His laugh was a deep bass sound like a drum.
"Then tell your brothers and sisters that the Shadow of Death is coming." I bowed and walked back to the wagons, where Marku and everyone had gathered. I realized that last night had helped focus me. I had resigned myself to being the Shadow of Death with a mission to complete—right or wrong in the eyes of the Shadows—and my visual-self, who was now a real person, committed to protecting my adopted clan. A conflict no longer existed. I would die for either.
"What happened, Ryana? He didn't want a telling, did he?" Marku asked as everyone awaited the answer. I had become the main attraction. I looked around at each of them. Yes, they were my clan.
"He wanted me to know that mercenaries and two Wizards have roadblocks up ahead. One is a half-day ride and the other a full day. They aren't just searching wagons. They are killing men, women, and children and taking what they have, which I suppose doesn't matter after they're dead."
"What did he suggest?" Yoan asked.
"He wanted me to see into the future," I said. In a way he had. He was asking what I would do, and what the Shadows would ask of the Earth Wizards.
"You're joking?" Alida asked.
"No, Alida. I'm serious. I see two options. Turn back, which is the safest option. They aren't looking for you. Or wait here while the Earth Wizard and I see if there is a way around them."
"No!" Stela screamed. Everyone turned in her direction. Some even stepped away from her. "Ryana, I forbid it."
"Mother, walk with me." I held out my hand. After a moment's pause, she grasped it. I gave a small tug, and we began walking away from the wagons.
"You'll be killed. They are waiting for you. I don't want you killed. You're like my daughter." Tears ran down her face, but she made no attempt to wipe them away.
"I love you and feel you are my mother. Yesterday you reminded me that I'm a Shadow and that I should use my training. I did. I don't know what happened when I reached for the moment, but I resolved my conflicts. I'm clan and Shadow and willing to die for either. Those ahead are an evil that threaten the clans' way of life and the Shadow Sisters of Ahasha. They wish to find me, so I'll grant them their wish." The truth without twists and lies.
She choked a small laugh in between sobs. "I guess I got what I wished for too. What do you want us to do?"
"Run as fast as you can. There's no roadblock in Araby."
"All right. We'll wait here for you." She held up her hand. "You'll need a good doctor when you get back." She hugged me tight. "You and I both know either you'll win, or they will catch and kill you. In either case the roadblock will be lifted."
We walked back to the wagons in silence.
"Ryana, you're joking, right?" Ilka asked as we sat for a midday meal. Everyone watched us in silence, waiting for my answer.
"No. The Earth Wizard has agreed to go with me." The look Ilka, Alida, and Yoan gave me was priceless, as if I had said, "I'm going to die tomorrow, but don't worry, I'll see you the day after," which I guess is what I indirectly said.
Talk buzzed about the roadblock, the Earth Wizard, and me. Alida and Ilka sat on either side with Yoan in front of me.
"Ryana, what's the point of you going to see the roadblock? It's there and we should turn back. The Earth Wizard said they are killing everyone that passes," Yoan said, looking at Alida and Ilka for support.
"Yes. The clan should go back to Araby and Scio. You'll be safe from the mercenaries. Maybe I can find another Shadow to help me," I joked but didn't get any laughs or even smiles.
"You're off to do something stupid—again, Alida said, stamping her foot for emphasis. "Why?"
A very good question, if it were directed at my visual-self. She could do nothing but urge a retreat to Araby. My shadow-self refused. The shadow-self screamed that I was a Shadow—wanted or not. Those mercenaries and Wizards had killed Shadow Sisters. They couldn't be allowed to triumph.
"Because they are evil. The Shadow Sisters insisted I leave because I didn't have the skill or commitment it would take to be a Shadow, n
ot out of meanness. Maybe I feel I owe them. I hope I can sneak by them with the Wizard's help and get support from Tarlon." A weak story, but with all the stupid things I appeared to have done, it might be believable.
"Alida said you would do something stupid, but this tops the others." Ilka grabbed my arm and shook it.
"I'm pretty good at throwing knives, huh, Yoan?"
"Yes, Ryana. Are you going to kill them all?"
"What a good idea."
They lapsed into silence, until Alida stood.
"Ryana, become clan. Stay with us."
"I would like to be a member of the Dorian clan." I loved these people. Before I could blink, the mood went from sober to festive. After a while, Alida stood and waved.
"Quiet! If there is anyone here who wishes to speak against Ryana, stand and be heard." No one stood.
"She's already clan," someone shouted.
"I guess someone forgot to tell her," Ilka said with a smile.
"Sit," Marku said.
Yoan handed him a red-hot knife he had retrieved from the fire. If they branded clan members, I hadn't seen any I could remember, although that didn't mean anything. While I tried to imagine what would happen, a searing pain lanced though my ear.
"Ryana, you've been clan for a long time. Wearing our earring with our consent made you clan. Sealing it makes you a blood member, who will be recognized as family by every gypsy clan."
"You're going to return with us to Araby," Alida said.
I wiped tears from my face. "No. I said I wanted to be clan, not that I was going back to Araby."
"Last time you tried to save me and before that Alida. Who are you trying to save now?" Ilka asked.
"My clan."
I think they knew I was going no matter what they said. The talk shifted back to whether to stay here for a while or return to Araby. I hoped they could convince Marku to return.
