by Lee Savino
Vik and Thorsteinn said they wanted the truth. But did they? Thorsteinn thought me wild and demanded my obedience, but Vik… perhaps there was a chance he’d believe me. Even if I couldn’t tell him everything.
“Rosalind spoke of leaving the mountain, yes. She was troubled.” It felt wrong to speak ill of a woman lying close to death but saying this did not betray her. “The night she left, though, things were… strange.”
“Strange? How so?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. How could I describe what I only felt? “It was dark, but the moon gave me enough light to see. I raced after Rosalind, but she always stayed far ahead. I followed her golden hair. There were patrols, but…” I shook my head. “The mists obscured us. Rosalind and I walked through the mists and it was almost as if the warriors couldn’t see us.”
Vik’s face was blank. I ducked my head. “I told you it was strange.”
“Yes,” he said slowly. “But stranger things have happened. Sorrel—do you think magic was somehow involved?”
“I don’t know. I just felt I had to catch up with Rosalind. I felt it was my fault that she left. I had spoken of wanting escape. I didn’t think she’d be brave enough to try it.” I spoke to my feet, miserable. “So, you see, when you told the Alphas I led her astray... it was true.”
“You feel guilty because she left of her own accord?”
“Yes. It is my fault. She left, and now she’s hurt. It’s all my fault.”
“Not from what you’ve told me,” Vik said slowly. “It sounds like there were other forces at play. Sorrel, what happened after you left the mountain?”
I shook my head. “You know what happened.”
“I know you and Rosalind left the mountain. I know the Berserkers found you both, her unconscious with a wound on her temple, you standing over her with a sling. I want to hear your version.”
“What does it matter?”
“What you have to say matters to me.”
I pressed my lips together and he nudged me. “Tell me, Sorrel. I will listen.”
He would listen, but could I tell him what I suspected? That Rosalind had been in league with the Corpse King, and I had to stop her before it was too late.
“I didn’t want to hurt Rosalind,” I said finally. “I had to. To save our lives.”
“What?” His head cocked. “What do you mean? To save your lives... were you in danger?”
If I told him anymore, I would name Rosalind a traitor. I couldn’t do that. If she lived, she’d wake to face the Alphas’ wrath. If she died, I couldn’t lead the pack to think she was a traitor.
With a sigh, I hung my head.
“It’s no use,” a harsh voice rang out behind us. Vik sighed as Thorsteinn stalked into view. The grey eyed warrior arched a brow as he stared down his nose at me. “She will not tell us the truth.”
He was right, but it was no longer a matter of will. I wanted to tell them. I touched my lips, willing them to move.
Anger heated my body, but I didn’t argue. This was my penance for harming Rosalind. Let everyone believe what they wanted to believe.
Thorsteinn
Sorrel turned from me, her jaw tight. Her dark hair fell across her face, a veil between us.
Did you have to interrupt? Vik tossed his knife at me. It bounced off my bare chest, handle first, which is how I knew he wasn’t trying to kill me. Not that a simple knife throw can kill a Berserker. I retrieved the knife and tested the blade against my palm. The sharp edge sliced a stinging red line across my rough and calloused skin. It healed immediately.
“Was I wrong?” I asked aloud. “Sorrel, did you have something to say?”
“No. Nothing.”
I raised a brow at Vik. See? She does not trust us.
She never will if you taunt her.
You taunt her all the time.
That’s different. He held up his hand, silently ordering me to throw his knife back. I let it fly at a mark just past him and he plucked in out of the air. She likes it when I tease her. What you say hurts her.
Regret bit me. I pushed it away. I don’t care, as long as she obeys. Out loud I said, “Time to put your hunting skills to work. We need meat.” I unstrapped a bow and sheath of arrows from my back and tossed them at Sorrel’s feet.
She picked them up, examining them carefully. I saw the glimmer of excitement on her face, even as she tried to hide it. “I thought you were hunting,” she said, slipping the strap over her shoulder.
“I was,” I said. “But not for meat. Come on.” I started into the forest. Something whizzed by my face and stuck in the tree trunk. An arrow, the feathered fletch quivering an inch from my face.
I turned on my heel and glowered, shoulders hunched like I was going to pounce. Sorrel met my eyes, glare for glare. Calmly, she plucked the bowstring. “It still works,” she explained. If I wasn’t so angry I wanted to spank her, I’d be proud.
Vik was laughing like he was drunk. “You’re the one who armed her.”
“You’re the one who taught her how to shoot.” I included him in my glare, and he laughed harder.
“He did not,” Sorrel protested, her black brows knitted together. “I taught myself. There were days at the orphanage I had to eat what I hunted, or I wouldn’t eat at all. And I shared with the orphans who were denied food.”
Vik stopped laughing. “They were cruel to you,” he growled. “We should’ve razed the place to the ground when we had the chance.”
“It’s gone now,” Sorrel said, but her face still held the pain of a thousand horrible memories. “The Corpse King destroyed it, and everyone perished. That’s what the Berserkers told me and the other unmated spaewives. All the nuns died. All but Juliet.”
“They got what they deserved,” I growled.
“Perhaps.” Head bowed, Sorrel marched past me. One stride and I caught up to her. It took two of her steps to match my one.
“You do not think they got what they deserved. They mistreated you.”
“I was used to it,” she said simply. “At least, they never promised to care for me, then abandoned me all the same.”
I stepped in front of her, halting her in her tracks. “We never abandoned you.”
“You dropped me at the lodge of unmated spaewives. And then you left.”
“We planned to return.”
“And do what?”
“And keep you.” I tapped the underside of her chin, tilting it up. She still didn’t meet my eyes. I did not like the blank, distant look in hers. “Claim you.”
“You didn’t want me. They teased me for it, and I finally understood.”
“Who told you that? Who teased you?”
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you left.”
“We returned.”
“After it was too late.” She jerked away and took a step.
I blocked her path. “It is not too late,” I snarled. “You belong to us. You will submit. You will yield.”
She didn’t reply. She didn’t have to. Defiance was written on her face.
“You will yield,” I promised her, and stepped out of her way.
Sorrel
We spent the rest of the day hunting while the sun sank slowly. Thorsteinn and Vik used throwing knives and I proved more than a match with my bow. At last we headed home with the bodies of small game strung on a stick propped on Vik’s shoulder.
I felt like game myself, tied and trussed between two warriors. They hadn’t done anything to make me submit but their presence reminded me
Especially, when, suddenly, Thorsteinn pushed me behind a boulder, and pressed me down. “Kneel,” he whispered harshly. I glared but he wasn’t looking at me.
“Other warriors,” Vik murmured, and I understood. I wasn’t supposed to be tromping around woods, happy and free. I was supposed to be locked up in a cage or thrown in a pit, or whatever counted as punishment.
I sank down behind the rock and tucked my knees against my chest.
“Stay,” Thorsteinn ordered, like I was a pet. He disappeared before I could snap at him. The wind brought shouted greetings and snatches of conversation. I waited listening. Is this how it was to be? Never allowed to roam on my own. Forced to hide so no one looked on my despised face. So far Thorsteinn and Vik’s punishment proved very light. But what sort of life would I have if I stayed and bonded with them? Would I ever be able to mingle with the pack or my friends? No one believed I had done no wrong. Crouched behind the stones, listening for scraps of conversation, I had to conclude my own warriors were ashamed of me.
I crept around the boulders, trying to get a better view. The wind picked up, carrying a pleasant sound—a lighter voice raised in song. It came from behind me. Ducking to stay hidden by the rocks, I dashed behind a line of bushes and crawled until I could stand. Beyond a briar thicket, a woman’s shape rose and bent. A spaewife, toiling over a garden with a hoe. She stood and wiped her brow with a sun browned arm, and I recognized her.
“Hazel,” I whispered. “Hazel.”
She startled, raising her hoe like a weapon. That almost made me smile. She had always been one of the bravest orphans.
She peered into the bracken. When she saw me, her eye grew round. “Sorrel? You are here? Are you in hiding?”
“Not anymore. I was caught. My guards are close.” I jerked my thumb back towards Thorsteinn and Vik, hoping they hadn’t noticed me gone.
“Are you all right? My mate said you were almost taken by the Corpse King. Again.” She seemed concerned. Maybe she hadn’t heard of my crimes. Or maybe she just believed I wouldn’t do something so awful without good reason. “What happened?” She pushed her hair off her face, leaving a dark smudge of dirt.
I shouldn’t tell her the truth. But then, I couldn’t repay her worry with lies.
So I told her the truth. “Rosalind left the mountain. I ran after her.”
“Truly?” Her eyes grew even wider. “Why would she run?”
“I don’t know.” I had my suspicions, but best keep to what I knew.
Hazel bit her lip and looked away. I knew what she was going to ask before she said, “They are saying you killed her.”
A flash of painful horror. “Is she dead then?”
“Not yet. Sorrel, what happened?”
I scooted closer so the wind wouldn’t carry our voices. “I cannot tell you. I cannot. Maybe if she wakes…”
“Tell me one thing,” Hazel’s eyes bore into mine. “Did you try to kill her?”
“No.” It felt so good to answer. Hazel was the first to ask me outright, instead of assuming.
“But you did hit her?”
“I had to, Hazel. You must believe me.” Please, believe me, when no one else will.
A pause, and she jerked her head decisively. “I do.”
“Sorrel?” A rough, distant voice called. Vik.
“I must go,” I whispered, and wriggled backwards through the brush without saying more.
Crouching, Hazel called softly after me. “Be safe, my friend.”
I wriggled back the way I’d come. I reached my spot by the boulders a moment before Vik poked his head around and beckoned.
“Come.”
“Are we still going to hunt?” I straightened, brushing dried leaves off my jerkin, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Of course.” Grasping my hand, he lengthened his stride until I ran alongside.
“You think it wise?” Ahead, Thorsteinn waited on the path. He’d clapped the visiting warriors on the shoulder, almost friendly, but now he wore a scowl. “Doesn’t the pack want to see me punished?”
“Oh, we told them you were locked in a cage too tight to move,” Vik said.
I sucked in a breath, but then he winked at me and I knew he jested.
“I can bear a cage,” I informed him. “It would be a nice rest.”
“There’d be no rest for you in the cage I have in mind,” he murmured with dark glee. “But it would not be punishment. Only pleasure.”
“What sort of cage is that?” I stopped short on the path, and he chuckled, pushing me along.
“Misbehave and you’ll see. And as for the pack, let us worry about them,” he spoke in a louder tone as we reached Thorsteinn. “If you stay close, and do as we bid, you’ll be all right.”
“Disobedience has consequences,” Thorsteinn intoned, and I almost stuck my tongue out at him.
The rest of the day, we spent hunting, only stopping to eat and drink, and fill our waterskin at the stream. Either we were in a secluded corner of the mountain, or Thorsteinn had warned his packmates off, but we saw no one but birds and squirrels and rabbits.
“You’re good with the bow,” Thorsteinn told me after I brought down three squirrels with a clean shot to the head. I flushed at his serious compliment. “You have skill.”
“I practiced,” I told him shortly. He ran his hand over my short hair thoughtfully.
“I remember you telling us you had plans to escape the abbey, live in the wild.”
“I did. I had my own bow and arrows, and boots and breeches I’d made.” I tromped to pick up my last kill and handed it to Vik to secure on the string. “I hoarded supplies and hid them from the nuns.”
“Is that why you were beaten? Did they find them?”
“No.” I shuddered to think what the nuns would have done if they’d found my stash. Probably locked me in the dark stillroom or the empty well. I still had nightmares from those punishments levied when I was younger. Everyone knew I feared being locked in the dark. That’s why I hid my things in the stillroom—no one would believe I would return to the site of my worst punishment. “They punished me for other things.”
“Such as?”
I shrugged. “Anything they wanted. I never behaved.”
Thorsteinn started to comment, when a signal from Vik made him haul me behind a tree.
“Boar,” he mouthed and pointed to a huge shape lumbering at the base of a chestnut tree. At his nod, I notched my bow.
“You must kill it quick. It’s a huge one. I did not know there were any of this size left on the mountain.” He smiled. “Thor smiles on us this day.”
Peering out from the pine, I raised my bow and took aim. A flowering bush blocked a clean shot. I kept sighting down the bow, waiting for the boar to move.
“Patience,” Thorsteinn murmured.
I gritted my teeth. My arrows were more suited to hunting small game, but if I could make a killing shot… I waited, tension growing every second. If I killed it, what would I prove? I was a good shot? Would the warriors praise and be proud of me? For a moment the boar blurred, and Rosalind stood in its place. My fellow orphan. She was cruel to me, and I avoided her, but we were still more alike than different. The girls I’d grown up with were the only family I’d known. Even if Rosalind tormented me, she was still like a sister to me.
I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. It wasn’t my fault. I hadn’t run. I had only followed her, wanting to save her. I’d tried to convince her to come home. She’d ignored me, marching on. I hadn’t left her.
She’d gone straight to the Corpse King, and I had followed. I’d even helped her. Did that make me a traitor like her?
My arms grew heavy. I dropped the bow.
“I can’t,” I croaked. I had hit Rosalind. In the end I hadn’t protected her at all.
“What’s wrong, little warrior?” Thorsteinn’s hand stroked the back of my neck.
“Tell us. We will listen.”
“I did it,” I whispered. “I tried to kill my friend. I didn’t want to, but she gave me no choice.”
“It was self-defense?” Vik asked.
I bit my lip, wanting to say yes. Not knowing how I could without naming Rosalind a traitor.
Suddenly, I couldn’t bear the quiet. Raising my bow, I loosed an arrow. It flew blindly and only the boar’s bellow of rage told me it struck.
Thorsteinn thrust me behind him. “Stay out of sight,” he ordered. The boar thrashed and stomped
, tearing through the flowered bush and destroying it. It was headed our way.
Cursing, Thorsteinn pushed me. “Run!”
I started to flee but looked back. Thorsteinn stood firm, facing the boar. He would stop the boar or get gored trying. While I ran. I was a coward.
With shaking arms, I raised my bow and took aim. The boar charged. Thorsteinn stood firm. His figure became Rosalind’s, the boar a dark skeletal menace, clothed in mist… If I missed my shot, I’d hit Rosalind. I didn’t want to hit her. Did I?
“Sorrel!” Thorsteinn shouted, bringing me back to the light filled clearing. There was no mist, no skeleton. Just Thorsteinn and a boar so large, the ground shook under its pounding hooves. “Sorrel, go!”
Why was he shouting at me? The boar was almost upon him. “Look out!” I shrieked.
With a whoop that stopped my heart, Vik broke from the bush. Axe glinting in the sun, he fell on the boar. The great beast turned, tusks tossing. Distracted, it narrowly missed Thorsteinn. Vik leapt onto its back. The great pig roared, and Vik laughed like a madman, digging his axe into its bristled hide.
Thorsteinn waded in, sending a short spear into the beast’s side. The two warriors fell on it, hacking at its neck. I shrank further into the shadows between the pines.
Dropping my bow and arrows, I ran. I’d done wrong again. Another failure. Another sin on my head. I was crushed with the weight of them.
I ran until the land sloped and I slid. I grabbed at the surrounding branches to slow my skidding descent. At last, the trunk of a hearty bush bent and held in my grip. Just in time. I came to a scrambled stop at a rocky ledge. Nothing but blue sky and a deadly drop.
Heart pounding, I leaned out. The slope ended abruptly. Below lay a long, sheer cliff. No wonder no one came to this side of the mountain. There was no need to patrol when any assaulting enemy was bound to fall to their death.
But if someone slight and small and good at climbing were to make her way down, there’d be no one to stop her from running.
