by Cara Dee
It was a silly thing. Something I asked my girlfriend in junior high about. If you knew someone's color, you were in. You knew that person then.
There wasn’t an ounce of truth to that. No one knew me better than Adeline and Lincoln, but I doubted they gave a flying fuck about freaking colors. The notion was ridiculous. Yet…after eleven years as someone's wife? Seemed like Ellis's wife should know. Maybe. Again, it was relationship territory where I was a novice.
Lincoln undoubtedly knew Adeline's preferences, though. It happened when you paid attention to the details.
"Have you told her it isn't blue?" I asked, because communication was a thing.
"No."
My forehead creased.
Ellis lolled his head along the back of the sofa and faced me with a grim, sober look in his eyes. "I haven't cared enough."
Depressing. They seriously needed to divorce—or fix things in a way that made them happy about their relationship.
Ouch.
I averted my eyes and frowned, that last option suddenly appearing with a spike of jealousy. No good. It tightened my gut uncomfortably, and the next breath felt heavier in my chest.
As soon as I got back home, I'd have to do some damage control on this infatuation of mine.
"Come on, we're going outside." Ellis rose from the sofa and dimmed the lights.
"Uh, no?" I wasn’t stupid. The bugs that found me delicious were on the other side of that screen. And nighttime away from any civilization took darkness to a whole other level. "Why would we—"
"I want to show you something." The lunatic grabbed my plate from me and set it on the table. "Let your eyes adjust."
With that said, he dimmed the light further until it died out completely.
"Adjust to what? Death?" I stiffened, seeing absolutely nothing. Well, when I turned my head toward the stairs that led to safety, there was a sliver of light under the door. There were also a few glow-in-the-dark stickers by the console, as if someone would be stupid enough to drive the boat in the middle of the night with no lights on.
The unzipping of the screen had me whipping my head in the other direction, and I cursed. He was going to invite those bloodsuckers to feast on me. I was only wearing a T-shirt with my sweats. At least he was in a hoodie.
"Have you lost your goddamn mind?" I demanded.
Ellis let out a carefree laugh that happened to be traveling closer. Then he was right there, unless it was a monster's hand that grasped my shoulder, a thought that gave me shudders.
"Don't make me carry you, Casey."
There's an idea.
Irritated and jumpy, I stood up to get this over with quickly. Afterward, I was going below to hide out in my cabin.
"Fine," I replied curtly. "I'd say show the way, but that's—" He grabbed my hand, warm fingers slipping between mine. I went blank for a moment. "I, uh, sh-yeah. Okay, that works."
I swallowed my nerves, and Ellis guided me out of the enclosed lounge and into the wilderness. His eyes must've adjusted quickly. He had no problems finding the sunbed. He patted the mattress and told me to get comfortable.
"You wanted to show me something," I pointed out.
I sure as shit didn’t need to have a fucking seat.
"I do." The patient bastard yanked me closer, and with a gentle nudge, he made me sit down on the edge. "Lean back."
My mouth ran dry, the annoyance on a temporary hiatus, as he followed and got settled right next to me. Shoulder to shoulder. What the hell was going on? His hotness was confusing things. He let go of my hand, and my eyes had gotten used to the darkness enough that I could see him pointing skyward.
"Look up, Casey."
I threw a disinterested glance toward the sky, only to do a double take and stare. Holy fuck. I'd never seen the Milky Way that clearly before. Millions of stars shone brightly along the streak our planet called home. The dust clouds gave a yellowish, purplish glow, and the sky shifted in colors of the darkest black to silvery beige.
"Shit," I whispered.
It was breathtaking.
As my eyes adjusted further, it became nearly overwhelming. Starry nights weren't unheard of, but clouds were definitely more common. Sunny days were a nice break from the regular overcast. We'd gotten lucky with a hot summer like this one, and now, evidently, even luckier with nights so clear we could see the Milky Way.
A calm washed over me, making me acutely aware of the dead silence around me, all while being comforted by it. It was another break. A break from society and all its demands. No clocks, no artificial light, no buzzing, no nothing. The wind rustled through the trees here and there, that was it.
The motions of the yacht being on the water were barely noticeable. Whatever little there were only lulled me deeper into a state of relaxed.
I released a long breath, my gaze traveling across the sky.
"I named my company after the ellipsis." Ellis's quiet voice broke the silence. "Three periods—or dots—meaning continuation. When I get stuck or feel defeated, it's my reminder that some things will go on as long as I make them. A story isn't finished until it ends with a period."
I let his words sink in. Gaining more understanding of the man next to me was becoming increasingly important to me. It probably wasn’t good for me when push came to shove, though there was nothing I could do to stop it. I'd soak it all up.
Now I could add sentimental to his list. I liked it.
Three dots… Like his closing symbol whenever he commented on my blog posts.
"Life is full of choices," he murmured. "After getting away from my parents, it would've been easy to give up." And he'd chosen to go on. To continue.
I turned my head his way, able to make out only contrasts and shadows. "Is that something you struggle with? I mean, since you didn't want to talk about it earlier."
"No." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I supposed I'm just terrified of my next choice in life." To divorce or not, I guessed. "I can't ignore it anymore."
Made sense.
I looked up at the stars again, slightly unsettled. The faintest chance that he was going to stay with Marilyn bothered me, and it was disturbing how hopeful I became at the "I can't ignore it any longer," as I assumed it probably meant he was going with divorce.
I shook my head and did my best to get rid of the thoughts. I had no business in worrying over that.
If there was anything I should worry about, it was the fact that I was returning to Camassia tomorrow.
"What're you thinking about?" Ellis wondered.
Honesty was the only option, and I hoped for the best. "That I don't want to go home tomorrow."
He turned on his side and pushed himself up a bit, supporting his weight on his elbow. "So don't."
I chewed the inside of my cheek. I could see the glint of a reflection the starry sky gave his eyes, the sharp features of his gorgeous face, but his expression was impossible to read.
"You can take a few days off, can't you?"
I could…
I shouldn’t, though. Something was off with me. Missing Haley, feeling too fucking lonely, and this newfound attraction to Ellis would result in a major pity party soon. I could feel it.
On the other hand, I had the self-restraint of a heroin addict, and if he was okay with me being here, I wouldn’t be able to refuse.
"Are you sure?" Because I wasn’t.
He nodded slowly and lifted his hand. The physical contact was brief; he brushed away some hair from my forehead, yet it was too goddamn much. It wasn’t okay, it wasn’t normal. Tension flooded me—frustration, longing. Then his hand was back, this time lingering in a ghosting touch along my neck.
He asked how it was, if I was in pain from the sun. I merely stared at his lips moving. Was he shifting closer? It sure felt like it. Holy shit, no, this wasn’t happening.
Except, it was. Ellis leaned down, and I managed to suck in a breath right before he carefully pressed his mouth against mine. I sort of checked out; noth
ing made sense, and I went with it. I mirrored his cautious testing of the waters, keeping the kiss slow and light.
I shivered as he cupped my jaw. His long fingers caressed my skin with such care that I could fucking weep. This was Ellis. It was beginning to sink in. Ellis goddamn Hayes, married and allegedly straight, was kissing me. One unhurried kiss ended, only for him to wet his lips and start another. More pressure was applied.
I let out a quiet groan that seemed to set him off. He deepened the kiss further, and when my fingers found the hair at the back of his neck, he was the one who made that sound.
"Did you hit your head?" I mumbled into the kiss. "You know I'm not a woman, right?"
"Very aware." That was all he said before he went all in. As I hauled in a quick breath, he took advantage and stroked the tip of my tongue with his, and then we were making out.
It was the single most drugging yet comfortable experience in my life. My body roared to life, demanding to be heard and sated, and even then, the moment was languid and swimming in safety. He was safe. Or I was just thoroughly screwed in the head.
"Ellis…" Fuck, he tasted amazing.
He stroked my shoulder, slowly shifting down to my chest, and grazed his teeth along my bottom lip. "Yes?"
I shuddered. "No, I just wanted to say your name."
He smiled. He smiled. He was smiling into a fucking perfect kiss that he shared with me, another man. I moaned under my breath and pushed my tongue into his mouth, to which he whispered a ragged curse and moved closer. Closer and closer, until he was lying half on top of me. I mumbled my approval and slipped a hand down to his thigh so I could hike it over me.
"Shit." I blinked, seduced beyond words. Sparks of excitement shot through me as he left my mouth to nip at my jaw and neck. Heated, sensual kisses followed, and he got more handsy. "Fuck." Needing to feel more of him too, I snuck my fingers under the hem of his hoodie, encountering warm skin. Judging by his shiver, he didn’t mind.
I traced his ribcage and the trail of hair under his belly button.
"Christ, Casey." He swallowed and trembled, then kissed me harder and gripped my hip. "I want to feel you."
I nodded and went for more of that kiss. If he asked me now, I'd probably give him my kidney. Whatever he wanted to feel, he could have.
What he did want turned out to be skin on skin. In between kisses and increasingly needy caresses, we got rid of our shirts, and he rolled on top of me, gathering my hands above my head.
"Holy—Jesus." I inhaled sharply and rolled my hips at the feel of his cock. The cotton of our sweats did fuck-all to hide that he was hard as a rock. So was I, but I wasn’t pretending to be straight. "Seriously… You're gonna give me a complex." I eye-fucked his chest before I got one of my hands free to stroke his sternum, his defined pecs, and feel his sparse chest hair. I was damn quick to get my mouth on there, too. "You're stunning, Ellis."
He groaned quietly, lips lingering at my temple. "So are you."
Really?
I kissed his neck, an openmouthed one to get a taste, then peered up at him. "Do you think so?"
He nodded and lowered his face to mine, and I was gone again. Lost in the passionate movements of his mouth, the taste of his tongue, and feel of his hands. I moaned and tipped back my head when he brushed his thumb over my left nipple. Shit, that works. He was insanely affectionate and seemed to be studying me for reactions. More than that, he appeared to be as starved for physical touch as I was.
Yet, it wasn’t enough. The pressure was building up, and my breaths were getting too choppy. I acted on instinct, both hands free now, and slipped them underneath his sweats. I palmed his sexy ass and pushed him down on me, earning myself a low growl of pleasure from him. He responded further with a slow, firm thrust, and then the chase was on.
"Look at me, Casey," he whispered huskily.
I opened my eyes, unaware I'd closed them to begin with.
I thought getting trapped in a gaze was a myth, but fuck me if he didn’t accomplish it. A million things went unsaid in a silence that stretched between us. He searched my eyes; I searched his. I saw the hint of vulnerability, I saw the exhaustion, I saw the deep hunger. He had a shit-ton to say but couldn’t. It was okay. I kissed him, hoping it told him it was okay. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Right now, I just wanted to give him whatever he needed.
A shudder ripped through him before he started moving again. To get more friction, I snaked my calves around his and met every push. It became a mission of mine, to give him as much pleasure as I could.
Having no clue about his experience with men, or how far he was willing to go at the moment, I stuck with what I did know. I poured everything into each kiss, and I touched every inch of his body that I could reach. The affection—I craved it for myself as much as I craved to give it.
"Oh, fuck." I stifled a gasp, taken aback by the sensations from the soft cotton brushing against my balls. It was a contrast to his hard cock pressing against my own. The rasp of his stubble on my cheek or jaw or wherever he kissed me only fueled the need to get off. Now. Little spurts of precome created a wet spot in my pants, and it didn’t take long before the smell of sex evaded my senses.
"I need to come." He spoke into a messy kiss, his voice strained and breath ragged. "Ah hell, Casey…"
I cursed again, the shivers setting off one after another. Our hoarse groans mingled in the chilly air, and I flushed as the ball of lust dropped lower and lower. When desperation came into play, every touch was rougher and laced with urgency. Screw the goddamn rhythm—I lost all patience. Devouring Ellis in another kiss, I ignored my protesting muscles and ground my pelvis against him.
He hissed, grabbed my jaw, and pushed forward harshly. It sent fire through me; I was fucking gone. My orgasm slammed into me, the force eliciting a choked gasp. I went rigid and clenched, and a fleeting thought of having his impressive cock pushing in and out of my ass rendered me completely useless. Several ropes of come soaked my sweats in what had to be the most satisfying release I'd had in ages.
Watching Ellis get off was almost as satisfying. He shuddered and rocked into me, face awash with tension, jaw clenched…before he let out a gritty moan and all the tension left his body.
"Oh, God…" My voice shook from the ecstasy.
I blinked and looked up at the Milky Way.
Ellis's labored breaths hit my neck in the silence that followed, a silence that went from blissful to heavy in a matter of minutes. Clarity, you bitch. We did all kinds of things in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t know what I'd do if his eyes flashed with regret once he lifted his head. I wanted this to be a memory to hold on to forever.
I sighed, grasping at the lingering contentment. I didn’t want to worry before I had reason to. I didn’t want my past to seal the fate of the future. Being jaded sucked. Being afraid sucked even worse.
A kiss to my neck settled the immediate fears, and I relaxed. Thank fuck. No one with regrets dove for post-sex kissing.
Tilting my head, I was there when he captured my mouth in another long, unhurried kiss. Goddamn, he was a master in the art of kissing. He had me hypnotized with a few lazy strokes of his tongue, and he evoked the most visceral reactions from me. It was as if he pulled all the strings and knew exactly which one caused whatever he wanted to reveal.
"Will you spend the night with me?" he whispered, ghosting his hand over my hip.
I shivered and nodded, meeting his gaze. Yeah, he could definitely have my kidney, too.
Chapter 10
I slept like a baby that night too, despite the fact that I woke up several times. Twice to seek out Ellis's warmth, once when he sought out mine, once to do some thinking—though I just ended up staring at our discarded clothes on the floor—and once to brush my teeth.
After washing up last night, I'd borrowed a pair of white boxer briefs from Ellis. He wore the same kind of pair, and he wore them ten times better. I stared at his ass and muscular thighs, then yawned and went under a
gain.
Sometime later, I woke up wrapped around him. My forehead was perfectly nestled between his shoulder blades, and he was deliciously warm. The sound of heavy rain gave me an internal smile. I fucking hoped it would be one of those days. Sheets twisting, rain coming down, all the cuddles we could take, pillow talk, breakfast and lunch and dinner in bed…
I'd read about those days. They were on my bucket list.
Unless Ellis had a habit of kissing fingertips in his sleep, I deduced he was awake when he kissed mine. One brush of his lips for each finger before he returned my hand to his chest.
The man knew how to pull at heartstrings.
Elusive Ellis had been promoted to Puppet Master.
"Morning." I cleared my throat to get rid of the sleep from my voice.
"Good morning."
I pressed my lips to his back. "What're you thinking about?"
He hummed tiredly. "That it's lovely to be the little spoon, too."
I grinned then laughed under my breath. "I'm happy to take turns."
"Good," he murmured and rolled over, gathering me close. Lifting my chin, he planted a firm, sleep-laden kiss on my mouth. "Don’t go anywhere. I'm gonna get us some breakfast and coffee."
I'd won the lottery. So far, so good. If I had my way, I'd cross something off my bucket list today. And the fact that it was with him—and how that mattered even more—was only slightly troubling. I could feel I'd hit the risk zone of developing deeper feelings for Ellis.
He untangled himself from the sheet we shared and left the bed.
"At the risk of sounding horribly cliché…" I lifted my brows and placed a hand under my head. "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go." Because goddamn, his ass, his broad shoulders, his…his all of him.
He rumbled a morning laugh and shook his head.
Once he was out of the cabin, I got up, too. I needed to take a leak and freshen up, and I brought my phone with me. I had cell service here and there and saw a message had come in at some point last night.
Wish you were here, Casey!
It was a text from Adeline with a photo of Lincoln and the girls. Bent over slightly, he was at their level, and he was pointing at something on the river that put big smiles on Haley's and Lyn's faces.
