by Laura Ward
My father cast me a look of disgust and tossed his napkin onto his plate. He pushed back from the table, rattling the plates, and stormed away in fury while yelling over his shoulder, “We’re not finished here!”
I leaned back into my chair, feeling a sense of victory. He could yell at me until his voice gave out, but I wasn’t changing my major. I felt a sense of satisfaction in knowing the only power he held over me was the power I gave him. I had no plans of letting him control any part of my life again.
“Why do you provoke him?” My mother started gathering the plates and taking them to the kitchen sink.
“Why does he think he can manipulate me? I’ve worked hard for what I have. He can’t take that away from me. As soon as spring break is over, I’m going back to my life. The one I chose.”
My mother set the plates gently in the sink and then rested her hands on the edge as she looked out the window. “I know,” she whispered.
***
I shifted in the seat, trying to get more comfortable.
“Are you sure you aren’t dizzy anymore?” My mother gave me a worried glance before returning her eyes to the road. She’d agreed to bring me straight to school after leaving Deep Creek, but only because my father and I both had agreed I couldn’t go home with them. Besides, I’d missed hanging out with Lee. He’d left multiple messages on my mom’s phone asking me to come see him as soon as I was back in College Park.
“I’m fine, Mom.” I stared out the car window, and my fingers tapped a nervous beat on my thigh. I was actually as far from fine as I could get. Frustration crawled up my spine, settling in my shoulders, and I tilted my neck to the side to release some tension. I hadn’t talked to any of my friends since the accident. I’d missed work with all three of my jobs, which could mean I had no jobs to come back to. Even if I did still have my jobs, how could I possibly do my security work? I had no idea how I was going to make ends meet if I lost that job. I ignored the small voice whispering in the back of my mind that told me things could be so much easier if I would accept my father’s help.
No. That would mean giving up my dream. No matter how hard things got, I’d never give that up.
The worst part was that I still didn’t know where I stood with Taren. I asked my parents if she’d come to the hospital. My mother couldn’t remember, and my father told me that the only people he saw in the waiting room were my Coach and a few other members of the Acroletes team.
That was like a knee to the groin.
If Taren had been hurt, I would have done anything to be at her side no matter how angry I was with her.
Maybe she didn’t know I got hurt, or maybe she didn’t care. Maybe she decided she couldn’t give up partying with her frat-loving ex-boyfriend. Why else hadn’t she come to the show?
My mom pulled up alongside the curb. “Are you sure Lee is going to meet you here?”
“That’s what he said.” I shrugged. “He said it was important.”
“How are you going to get back to your apartment?” Her forehead creased with worry.
“Don’t worry Mom; they have buses.” I gestured to a bus that was passing us on the other side of the road. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I live just off campus. I can always make it back there on my crutches if I have to.”
“I know.” She reached over to squeeze my arm in a soothing gesture. “I just worry about you.”
“I’ll be fine.” I met her eyes with a smile, and she let out a deep sigh. “I promise.”
She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. “I don’t say it enough, Alec. I’m proud of you, and I love you so much.”
Her words caught me off guard. I wasn’t used to praise from my parents. “Love you, too Mom.” I opened the door and swung my leg out.
She put the car in park and went to open her door. “Here, let me help you.”
“Nah, I got it.” I waved her off. I swung my leg out, and then reached behind my seat to grab my duffle bag.
“Wait.” My mother grabbed my arm and stuffed an envelope in my hand.
“What’s this?” I opened it up to see that it was full of money.
She shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to make it to work with your—” She swallowed as she looked at the leg hanging out the door. “With your injuries.” She ran her fingers along her hairline tucking her short hair behind her ear. “I wanted to make sure you’d be able to pay your bills. The doctor said it might take up to three months for you to be able get around well without the crutches.” She blinked, her eyes shining with tears.
“Mom, you shouldn’t have done this.” I stared at the money, and my breath lodged in my throat as relief coursed through me. I looked up to meet her gaze. “Dad’s going to be pissed.”
She gave me a stern look. “You might think your father makes all of the decisions, but that’s not true. You’re just as much my son as you are his. I can take care of you if I want. I’m proud of you, Alec. As long as you’re happy and living the life you want, I’m happy for you.”
“Mom—” My voice was thick with emotion. I leaned over and pulled her into a hug, and her arms wrapped around my back.
She sniffled against my chest. “Don’t get all mushy on me now, Alec.”
I laughed, grateful for her lightening up the mood. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Don’t thank me.” She leaned back in her seat and wiped under her eyes with her finger. “It’s the least I could do considering we kept your phone from you all week.”
My head snapped up as my eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
She lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders. “We both agreed that you needed rest. Since the doctor said you shouldn’t be straining your eyes by looking at screens, we kept your phone hidden. I put it back in your bag,” she said, nodding to my duffle.
Christ. Did she have any idea how much less stressful it would have been if I’d been able to make calls this week?
“It was for the best. Go.” She nudged me out the door. “Lee is waiting for you.”
I decided that it wasn’t worth it to argue about the phone. I was healing; I was home, and I was ready to get my life back on track.
I got out of the car and then turned, leaning down to peer back inside. “Thanks for the ride, Mom.” I held the envelope up and shook it. “And for the money.”
“You’re welcome. I love you, honey. And Alec?”
“Yeah?”
“Prove him wrong.”
I stood on the sidewalk and waved as my mother left, feeling for the first time in a week that I could breathe. As soon as she was gone, I dug around in my bag looking for my phone. I found it and pressed the button on the front.
Figures. Of course it was dead. I shoved it back inside and slung my bag across my shoulder as I settled my hands on the grips of the crutches.
Now. Where the hell was Lee?
Chapter Thirty-One
TAREN
I sat on a bench near the reflecting pool, waiting for my weekly meeting with William. He had texted and asked that we meet here today. Tilting my head back, I looked up at the clear blue sky filled with white fluffy clouds. I stretched my legs out in front of me. The bright sun warmed my skin, but the cool breeze kept the weather mild. A day like this made me want to smile, but instead, I blinked away tears.
I picked up my phone and texted Jon again.
Me: Have you heard from him?
I kept calling and texting Alec, but he never responded. I was terrified that he was hurt so badly, he was unable to respond to any of us. I just needed to know that he was okay.
Jon: Nope. Calls keep going to voicemail. Texts not answered. Did you go to his house?
I had told Jon that since it was spring break, I thought Alec would be at his parent’s house.
Me: Yes. I drove to his house and knocked on the door. No answer.
The thought that he either refused to talk to any of us, or physically couldn’t, made me sick to my stomach. I closed my eyes as I leaned back on my hand
s. This week had been hell, but seeing William would make it better. He always made everything better.
I could hear the conversations of people walking by. Two girls spoke in high pitched squealing tones about a cute boy in their art class, and I wanted to punch them. My mind was finally numb, and I wanted to keep it that way. The sound of metal scraping against the sidewalk in a halting rhythm made me cringe. I didn’t want to open my eyes to see what it was. Reality was a big old bitch these days. I wanted to stay in my own little world of darkness for a bit longer.
“Taren?” Alec’s voice was raw and gravelly.
My eyes flew open at the sound. I gasped and my jaw dropped. Alec stood in front of me, leaning on a set of crutches. Thank God. He was here. He was okay.
“What are you doing here?” His eyes tightened, and his jaw set. He stared at me as if my presence alone caused him pain.
“I’m here to meet a friend...” I shook my head. “What are you doing here?” I wanted him to say he was looking for me, but the glare on his face said otherwise. He had a duffle bag slung across his chest, and a cast on his left leg.
I was torn. I wanted to run up, throw my arms around him, and kiss him senseless. The look he was giving me, however, told me to run the other way.
He looked away. “I’m meeting my cousin here.” His voice sounded flat and empty.
“Oh.” The taste of disappointment was sour. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “You have?” Doubt dripped from his words.
Hurt coiled in my belly, sick and vicious. “I’ve called, texted, and emailed you non-stop for the last week. Why didn’t you answer? I was worried about you.”
The look in his eyes hardened. “Why didn’t you return my calls the night of the show? Why didn’t you come? You promised you’d be there.”
He wasn’t holding back any punches. “I tried to text you to tell you I was going to be late, but my phone was dead. I came to the show, but I was late because of—”
“Fucking sorority stuff.” He cut me off. His words were harsh, but his scowl was worse. “I know. Believe me, I know.”
“You don’t understand, Alec. Can’t I explain?”
“You don’t need to explain anything, Taren. I’m not your priority. We’re too different, and maybe it’s a good thing we’ve figured that out now before things got too serious.”
Too serious? How much more serious could it be than giving someone your virginity? Than trusting them with your heart? I loved him. Nothing had ever been more serious in my life.
“How can you say that?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“You’ve made it pretty clear how important parties are to you. My life is all about hard work and discipline. We’re pretty different.” Alec’s voice was sharp, like he was tearing pieces of my heart out with every word.
“Don’t say that! I was late because I was explaining to Julie that I wasn’t going to be attending parties anymore. You’re more important to me than that stuff. I was coming to see you because I chose you.”
“Only you didn’t see me, did you?”
“I was on my way,” I argued, tears threatening to fall. My lungs felt constricted with panic and I couldn’t take a deep breath.
“Did you even know I was hurt before today? I mean, you looked surprised to see me, but you didn’t look surprised that I was injured. If you knew I was hurt, why didn’t you come see me in the hospital?”
“What?” I felt the color drain from my face. “I did come see you in the hospital. I was terrified for you.”
“Those must have been some pretty strong painkillers because I certainly don’t remember you visiting.”
I clenched my teeth. “I was there. So was Jon, Coach, and all your friends. Your father wouldn’t let us into your room to see you. But you would know that if you checked your damn phone or email,” I spat out. “I called you at least a dozen times a day since you’ve been gone! Were you ignoring me to hurt me? If so, it worked.”
“My phone was dead, too,” he retaliated.
We glowered at each other. We were both hurting. The knowledge that our trust was broken made my heart ache.
Alec closed his eyes. “I think I should go.”
“You’re just going to leave? Things get hard, so you’re just going to give up?”
He looked down at the ground and shook his head. “Isn’t that what you did at the obstacle course? Things got tough, and you left me. I don’t know if I can trust myself right now.” He looked up and took a shaky breath. “I haven’t seen you for a week. All I know is that what I saw between you and Pickles on Frat Row broke me.” He looked past me, his jaw clenched as he spoke. “You didn’t come to the show. You didn’t send me a message to let me know you were okay. I was so worried about you that I couldn’t focus. My distraction hurt someone else and ruined an entire show.” He directed his gaze back on me and swallowed loudly. “I know it’s not fair to want you to give up something you love for me, but I hate that frat parties and guys like Pickles matter so much to you. Can’t you see how destructive we are to one another?”
That shattering? That was my heart. No words had ever hurt as much as the ones Alec had just said. Some of what he’d said was true. I did mess up. I did let him down. What I needed him to understand was that nothing in my whole life mattered more than him.
“Miss Taren?” William’s kind voice almost made me sob out loud.
I jerked my head away from Alec, and I wiped away my angry tears before either of them could see.
“Hey, Willy. You’re early.” The words shook as they left my mouth. I pressed my lips together and took in a deep breath. My stomach was filled with lead, and my chest hurt. For the first time, I worried that my relationship with Alec was irreparable. Even if I thought we were worth the effort, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t think we were, too.
Alec stared at William, and I was glad to see it wasn’t with pity or discomfort. I didn’t think my heart could handle it if Alec mistreated my friend. “How do you know Lee?” he asked, hooking his thumb toward William.
I looked at Alec in confusion. “This is my friend, Willy.”
“His name isn’t Willy.” Alec looked angry and frustrated.
William chuckled and approached me to give me a hug. “Hi, Miss Taren. Good to see you.” I accepted William’s hug and pulled him tightly to me. It was nice to see a friendly face.
“Lee? Taren? My head’s fucking killing me. Can one of you tell me what’s going on?” Alec rubbed his forehead and then grimaced, clutching his ribs. His breath hissed through his teeth, and he clenched his eyes shut. As upset as I was with him, I felt awful that my anger had made me forget how badly he was hurt just a week ago.
“I’m not sure who Lee is.” I arched an eyebrow at William in question. “But Willy started out as my assigned buddy through the Good Buddies program here at the university. Now he’s my friend.”
Alec’s eyes widened in surprise before he carefully gestured toward William. “Lee’s my cousin. I told you about him. He’s pretty much the best part of my family. Remember?”
I laughed. “Willy is your cousin? Wow.” I squeezed William’s arm and smiled up at him before facing Alec. “As different as we are, at least we have one good thing in common.”
Alec tipped his head as if considering my words, and then looked away again.
“Willy, can we meet another day? It looks like you guys have some catching up to do. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” I went to pat William’s hand, but he gently clasped mine in his own.
“Wait, Miss Taren. Please.” William smiled, and my heart warmed. I couldn’t say no to him. Not when he had always been so good and understanding with me.
“Sure, Willy.”
He pulled me closer to him and grabbed Alec’s hand too.
“Guess I have some explaining to do, huh? Yup, yup.” He laughed to himself, and I couldn’t help but grin. Looking over at Alec, he had a small smil
e on his face as well. “See, when I heard that Miss Taren was my buddy, I remembered right away that she was the girl that stole my cousin’s scholarship.”
My jaw dropped, and I looked over at Alec. He was stunned.
“Alec and I talk a lot.” William grinned at his cousin. “I also remembered he had hurt you in high school when you asked him to go to the dance, Miss Taren. He was not nice to you.” William’s face sobered, and he frowned at his cousin. “He felt bad about that. He was a jerk. Did he tell you?”
I shook my head.
“Then he got in trouble for that party, and he thought it was your fault. So he was not super happy to go to the same college as you, you know that?” William dipped his chin down, watching my reaction.
I nodded, catching my bottom lip between my teeth. I knew that much was true.
“Oh, but then he told me he saw you around campus. He said you changed. You were not so...how did you say that, Alec? She did not have anything up her rear end anymore?”
Alec groaned and closed his eyes as I huffed out an angry laugh. “Nice, Alec.” I let go of William’s hand and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Now do not get upset, Miss Taren. He liked you. He used to watch you, and it made him feel good that you were having fun in college. Even if...what did you say Alec? A lot of the time it sucked for you?”
William and I looked at Alec, but he turned away, studying the fountain.
“This year, when we became buddies, he was talking about you again because you had a class together. He even used to stare at the back of your head during class. How funny is that?” William snorted, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling.
“Geez, Lee. I thought you knew how to keep a secret. Why not tell her all my embarrassing stories from when we were kids?”
William ignored Alec. He was clearly on a mission.
“I knew you and Alec did not get along in school, but when I met you, you were like sunshine. I knew my cousin needed that kind of a bright light girl in his life.” William leaned over to whisper loudly in my ear, “His daddy is not very nice, you know.”