by Joan Hohl
Tom grinned widely, said, "Thanks Matt," then, "come on guys, let's go before Mom changes his mind."
Fat chance, Katherine thought irritably, frowning at Matt. But for the first time she actually believed Matt honestly liked Tom and it was obvious the feeling was returned.
"Book?" she asked in confusion.
"Jargon," he answered dryly. "Means get moving, take off."
Two weeks later Katherine flew to Washington to be on hand at the arrival of her first grandchild. Matt was out of town, but, as promised, he'd left the Lear and the trip was made quickly and smoothly. She stayed at the hospital, alternately pacing and sitting restlessly, with Carlos, the twelve hours Janice was in labor then stood, tears unashamedly rolling down her cheeks, gazing at her granddaughter. She went in to kiss and congratulate a tired, but happy Janice, then left smiling fondly at Carlos who sat, eyes fastened reverently on his wife's face, his lips pressed to the pale fingers of her hand, which he held in his.
She took a taxi to Janice and Carlos' home, peeked in at a peacefully sleeping Jon then sank gratefully onto the bed in the room Janice had prepared for her. She felt exhausted but pleasantly so and she smiled thinking of Janice's daughter who, at the advanced age of thirty minutes, had shown unmistakable signs of promised beauty.
Thinking of the baby led to thoughts of her own Jon's birth and that led her thoughts inevitably into the past.
It had seemed to Katherine at the time that she spent most of her pregnancy in bed. In truth she didn't but at the time it did seem that way.
Matt had meant what he'd said that first morning. He did not touch her again during the few days they stayed in the Poconos, or for two weeks after they'd returned to the city.
As he had told her he would be, he was very busy after their return and Katherine had used that time in emptying her own apartment, settling into Matt's and catching up on work in the office, being driven there in the morning, picked up at lunch, returned after lunch and picked up at quitting time, by Jack.
During the remainder of that summer Katherine's companions were Clyde, the cold empty feeling she'd awakened with that first morning and, as Tom spent most of the summer in Canada and Carol was in New England, a growing loneliness.
Although Matt only took advantage of his marriage rights on an average of every two weeks, every time was exactly like the first. No words, nor the slightest hint of caress. His possession, so coldly, mechanically performed, left her crushed with humiliation.
When she missed her first regular cycle two weeks
after their wedding, she thought little of it, placing the cause on her tense, nervous state. When the second cycle passed she was almost sure and two weeks later she was positive. She had borne two children and all the signs were there; she was pregnant.
Her first reaction was horror for by her calculations she must have conceived on her wedding night. For some days she was filled with a burning hatred for Matt until the very intensity of her emotion shocked her. With the shock came reason; she was as much to blame as he, if not more so.
She had been frightened, considered herself past the age to start a family all over again. She thought of abortion and rejected the idea at once, she couldn't. She just could not do it.
She paced the apartment like a caged animal. She had to see a doctor, but who? Her own obstetrician had retired some years ago. Then she came to an abrupt halt as a name flashed into her mind. Mark Hunter, doctor of gynecology and obstetrics.
She had been pleasantly surprised at her wedding to find two of the guests Matt had invited turned out to be Mark and his wife, the former Marsha Drake. Marsha had laughed at Katherine's surprise, saying, "Even though you probably don't remember, I told you once that I intended marrying Mark. But I must admit, I'm as much surprised as you are. Mark and Matt have remained close friends and we had no idea he was planning to get married. And, quite frankly, your name has never even been mentioned. Please don't misunderstand, Katherine, we're delighted. It's time, past time, that Matt got married and I think you're perfect for him. Strangely enough, I thought the same when we were still in school."
Katherine had been amazed at Marsha's statement and would have questioned her on it, but there had been no further opportunity.
She went to see Mark who, after a thorough examination, pronounced her perfectly fit and definitely pregnant. But, he added, she was much too tense. When she confided to him her fears concerning her age, he laughed gently, chiding. "Katherine, you've been listening to old wives' tales. I assure you everything will be all right. You'd be amazed at the number of women your age today who are being safely delivered of perfectly healthy, beautiful babies.
"Now," he added briskly, "I want you to follow my instructions to the letter. Before you leave my nurse will take a blood sample. She'll also give you a diet, which I expect you to adhere to, and vitamins, which I'll expect you to take. And, I'd like you to quit smoking. If you can't quit altogether at least cut down drastically. And I'll see you again in four weeks, and Katherine, relax. By the way, does Matt know?"
"No. I wanted to be certain before I said anything," she'd hedged.
"Understandable." He'd nodded. "Well, now go home and tell him and make him one very happy man."
But would it? she'd worried. Would it make him happy?
It had been one of the few times Matt was not away on business in the few months they'd been married, and she'd stood at the window wall, nervously twisting her rings, waiting for him to come home.
She turned quickly when he entered the room saying quietly, "Good evening, Katherine, how was your day?"
"I didn't go to the office today," she offered jerkily.
Dark eyebrows rose inquiringly. "Any particular reason?" he asked coolly, his expression of polite interest.
"Yes." She hesitated, then rushed on. "I went to see Mark Hunter."
His expression changed to taut alertness, his voice held a fine sharp edge. "Are you ill?"
"Not exactly." Again she hesitated, swallowing convulsively to moisten her suddenly dry throat. "I'm pregnant, Matt."
A breath holding stillness seemed to grip the room and Katherine felt the tiny shiver slide along her spine. Matt's taut face lost its color, grew even more harshly drawn, a muscle jerked at the corner of the straight hard line that was his mouth. Katherine couldn't quite read his expression. Was it shock, anger? It was definitely not the happy reaction Mark had predicted.
The tiny shiver grew, expanded, and she curled her fingers into tight fists to keep from shaking. The stillness grew and she thought if he didn't speak soon she'd scream at him.
"Mark's positive, there's no doubt at all?" he rasped, finally.
She could hardly manage the whispered, "None."
"When?"
"The beginning of April."
She could actually see the mental arithmetic he did in seconds then, eyes narrowing, his voice rasped, more harshly. "You said you're not exactly ill. Aren't you feeling well? Does Mark expect difficulties?"
"No! No, he said everything is fine. He expects a normal, healthy baby. It was just a figure of speech." She nearly choked the words out. This was decidedly not a man overjoyed at the prospect of becoming a father.
"A figure of speech," he murmured. Then she jumped as his soft voice flicked out at her sharply. "You consider being pregnant a form of illness? Or is it the fact that it's my child you're pregnant with? I have the feeling your reaction was not quite the same with either Janice or Tom?"
Her body stiffened with anger as he spoke and when he finished she lashed out coldly, "I was little more than a girl when I carried Janice and Tom. You'll have to agree I'm no longer that." She made for the door, wanting only to get away from the condemnation of his tone.
Moving swiftly he blocked her path. "You're frightened?"
"Yes," she replied tensely.
"But there are lots of women who have babies safely at your age and even years older, aren't there?"
Was he trying to re
assure her? Or was he seeking reassurance from her? She couldn't tell and by then she'd become so tense she didn't much care.
She looked squarely into unreadable gray-blue eyes and said clearly, coolly, "So Mark said. But then, he doesn't have to go through it. Nor do you. I do." And brushing past him she ran for the bedroom.
Oddly, the following weeks were the most peacefully relaxing of her marriage. Matt's business trips were curtailed drastically and he spent most evenings at home, usually ensconced on the sofa, work papers spread out on the large coffee table in front of him.
After the first few evenings of this Katherine also brought work home, making herself comfortable on the deeply carpeted floor, pinning her drawings to a large drawing board which she propped against the opposite side of the coffee table.
Conversation was limited to an occasional, "Are you comfortable?" from him, or "Would you like something to drink?" from her. And yet, after the first week, the tension eased, then disappeared. They were by no means on more intimate terms, but the atmosphere of polite hostility was gone.
On a Friday in mid-November Matt startled her by walking into the apartment while she was having lunch and asked briskly, "Is there any reason you must return to the office this afternoon?"
"No, why?"
"Richard called me this morning, Chuck and Corrine arrived last night and I've invited the four of them up to the mountains. I'd like to get packed and leave as soon as possible."
They went in separate cars as Richard and Anne were planning to drive to Boston with Chuck and Corrine on Monday morning and, Matt in the lead, they arrived at the house for an excellent dinner, prepared by a pre-warned Mrs. Darcy.
Katherine had totally enjoyed the weekend. The men were gone most of the daylight hours as Richard and Chuck went hunting and Matt, a non-hunter, went along to, in his own words, beat the bushes. And as they hunted some miles from the house, deeper into the mountains, they packed lunches.
The three women spent their time talking about babies, taking walks in the brisk fall air and generally getting to know each other better.
Katherine and Matt saw the other four off early Monday and were themselves packed and ready to leave, when he turned to her suddenly and asked, "How about a last walk before we go?"
She'd agreed eagerly as the day was bright and mild.
They had walked for perhaps half a mile from the house, Matt identifying plants and trees for her, when Matt paused to point out a tree in the distance. Suddenly a loud cracking noise cut across his words and Matt grunted deeply, then went crashing to the ground like a felled tree.
Turning quickly she cried, "Matt!" and stopped, hand flying to her mouth, eyes widening in sick horror at the rapidly spreading red stain on the outside of his left thigh. "My God!" she whispered hoarsely, "you've been shot!"
Matt's grayish tinged face was a study in pained disbelief as he ground out, "If I find out who the stupid bastard is I'll kill him, ignoring the notices and hunting this close to the house."
She had dropped to her knees beside him and now cried out, "Matt, we've got to stop this bleeding, do you have a clean handkerchief?"
He handed it to her and, as she pressed the white square against the ugly hole the shell had made in his leg, he sat up saying in a calm, if strained voice, "It went through cleanly and, by the way it's bleeding, didn't hit an artery. Hurts like hell, may have chipped the bone and I'd better not try to walk on it. Katherine, you're going to have to go for the jeep."
"Bring the jeep up here? How?"
Before she'd finished speaking he was pointing out two white birch trees, standing side by side, at some distance to his left. "There's a fairly clear, if narrow, path between here and those trees and those trees are by the side of the road. Be careful."
She was up and running before the last word was said when he called sharply, "Katherine, don't run."
Forcing herself to a brisk walk she thought irritably, of course, now that he's reconciled himself to becoming a father, I must in no way endanger the heir by doing something stupid like falling, even if it costs him his life.
His life. The thought brought her up short, almost to a stop, and it seemed everything vital and alive inside her cried out in protest, he can't die. I love him. I won't let him die. And without trying to figure out the whys or wherefores of her sudden realization she began running again. She fell down once but jumped up, gasping, to run on until she'd reached the garage.
It seemed to take a very long time but finally she'd covered the rocks, tree roots and natural earth bumps of that narrow path, and brought the jeep to a stop two feet from Matt. By the time she'd helped him to get up and into the jeep they were both wet with sweat and as he slumped back against the seat, his hand clamped against the handkerchief to stop the flow of the again freely bleeding wound, his face had a decidedly greenish tinge.
Slowly, carefully, she maneuvered the jeep around and back over the path and when she was on the road her foot pressed down on the gas pedal only to lift again, slightly, as Matt muttered, "Careful, there's a doctor about eight miles from here, stay on this road for a while. I'll tell you when to turn."
The doctor was young and of average height but solidly, strongly built and between them they got Matt out of the jeep, into the office and onto the doctor's examining table where Matt, as if on cue, promptly passed out.
that faraway voice that was Matt's? "My God! She looks like death, even her lips are white."
This time there were steel teeth in the command. "I told you to stay put. Your wife has fainted, that's all. She'll be all right in a minute. Now get the hell back on that table."
The room was lighter and the command had sounded closer, not nearly so far away. Matt's growl was closer too. "You don't understand, Doctor, my wife is pregnant."
"And pregnant women often faint when under some strain. That's better. If you try to get up again I'll give you a shot and knock you out."
Katherine decided she liked this tough young man, then she realized that he was kneeling next to her. The room was bright and she blinked her eyes against the sudden glare. The two men were glaring at each other and didn't see her glance around vaguely. My heavens! She was lying on the floor. The doctor's voice, again clear, close. "Could she have fallen up there?"
Without thinking Katherine answered clearly, "Yes."
"What!" Both the men spoke at once and Katherine stammered. "I—I fell while I was going for the jeep."
"Katherine—" Matt began, but the doctor cut in.
"How do you feel, Mrs. Martin?"
"A little tired."
The doctor's strong arms lifted her then cradled her against him as he rapped out, "Damn it, Martin, stay put. I'm taking your wife upstairs to examine her. I don't think there's been any damage done but when I'm through I'll have my wife put her to bed, to be on the safe side."
In next to no time she'd been stripped of her slacks and sweater, examined by the doctor who then gave
her a mild sedative, assuring her it was quite safe, and tucked into bed by his wife.
She drifted into a gentle, dreamless sleep, rousing with a murmured protest when she felt herself folded into the comforter and again lifted in arms as strong, but different, than the doctor's.
"Easy, easy, Mrs. M., we'll have you home in no time." The soft crooning voice belonged to Jack, but how was that possible? Jack was in Philadelphia.
Although she was unable to lift her heavy eyelids she was aware of being carried down the stairs and out the door where she was transferred into yet another pair of arms. Hard, stronger than the other two pairs, she had never been inside their circle but she knew who they belonged to. Muscles, hard as steel, seemed to jerk convulsively as the circle closed around her and with a soft sigh she drifted back into darkness.
She was roused again at the sound of quiet voices and this time she managed to open her eyes a moment realizing with a start that they were in the car. She was wondering why the car was motionless when the door w
as opened and arms reached in and drew her away from Matt. She wanted to cry out in protest but all she could manage was a low moan.
After being carried some distance she was lifted up into yet more arms, and then placed into a sort of narrow reclining seat. She became aware of the fact that she was in the Lear, Matt sitting beside her, when the scream of the jets startled her into wakefulness. She stirred restlessly and Matt rasped softly, "Go back to sleep, we'll be home soon."
"Your leg," she whispered.
"Is all right. Are you warm enough?"
"Hmm—" She was out of it.
The plane touching down brought her around and by the time she was unstrapped and lifted from her seat she was fully awake and aware that Matt's seat was empty. This time the process was reversed, she was handed down to waiting arms. John's. His words drew her attention to the fading light.
"Evening, Mrs. Martin, feeling better?"
"Yes, thank you, John, what time is it?"
"Just past five," he answered coming to a stop at the opened door of the Cadillac Matt kept at the apartment for her use.
She was handed into Matt's arms and then they were moving smoothly away from the airport.
"We're going to Mark's office, he's waiting for us," he stated firmly and from his tone she knew it was useless to argue.
After a thorough examination Mark's verdict echoed the other doctor. "I don't think there's been any harm done, but even so, stay off your feet and rest for a week or two."
The next morning Matt moved her to the house in the country and sent her to bed with an ordered, "Stay there." The move was permanent; where before they'd gone to the country for the rare weekend, now the rare visits would be made to the apartment. Very rare.
The first week at the house went fairly well. Beth was civil, if not friendly and as Katherine was confined to her bed, on Matt's orders, it didn't much matter. It was a particularly satisfying time for her, so much so, she didn't even mind his orders. Matt slept in the small bedroom adjoining their bath so as not to disturb either Katherine or his leg. He had agreed to stay home from
