by Joan Hohl
"But you got married," she protested.
"Yes, I got married," he repeated, once again pacing, cup in hand. "I have to explain about Sherry. She was engaged to a friend of mine. We were in the service
together. He got killed. I went to see her when I got home. She'd gone to pieces, literally fell apart. She needed someone. I was handy. Neither of us was under any illusions. She didn't love me. I didn't love her. But I liked her and she needed someone. Anyway, we got married. It couldn't last of course." He stopped to study the look on her face, then he grinned wryly. "Oh, it was a normal marriage in every way, including sex, but we were growing in different directions. When we split, after two years, she was stable, ready to face living again. I still see her too. She's married again, has two kids, a happy, contented woman."
"But you got nothing from the marriage," she cried.
"Wrong. For two years I was kept so busy either working or with Sherry, there was very little time left to torment myself with thoughts about you."
Katherine's throat went dry and she gulped down what remained of her coffee, grimacing, for it had grown cold. Without asking, he took the mug from her hands, refilled it and handed it back. He started talking again as he refilled his own mug. "You see, Kate, I was never free of the thoughts for long. Whether I was alone or with—ah—someone."
"Like Rosalie?"
He shot her a glittering look. "How do you know about Rosalie?"
"I met her."
"Where? When?"
"Beth invited her to the house for lunch. In September."
His eyes and mouth went hard with anger. "The bitch," he said softly, then added, "Beth, not Rosalie." He studied her thoughtfully, then added, "Rosalie's the reason you came up here in September?" She nodded.
"What did she say to you?" he demanded.
"That of all your mistresses she was probably the only one you considered marrying—"
"Wrong," he interrupted. "I never considered it with any of them. What else?"
She hesitated, then said quickly, "If she'd been a little smarter she'd have become pregnant, and then you would have married her."
"On that point she's right. I would have."
"How many others were there, Matt?" she asked in a small voice. He laughed easily. "Not nearly as many as you've been led to believe there were. Actually there were four. That's really not many over a twenty-three-year span. But understand this, Katherine, whether it was during the periods I was with one of them or whether I was alone, there always came the nights when I could no longer keep the thoughts at bay. On those nights I was usually overworked or overtired or both. Lord, Kate, I probably could have been arrested for the things I did to you in my mind on those nights. I tormented myself until I could have cut my throat with wanting you."
"Oh, Matt."
"I'm not finished. As I said before those nights happened less often as the years passed. It got easier, until I walked into Richard's house that New Year's Day, then it started all over again. You wouldn't believe how close you came to being kidnapped when I drove you into town the next day. When you told me Kevin was dead I decided then and there, by using fair means or foul, I was going to have you. I knew you didn't particularly like me or approve of me, but I wasn't about to let that stop me. I bided my time, waiting for the right
moment. That moment came the night I proposed. You see, I knew the mental state you were in. I had lunch with Carol that day. She told me she was worried about you, the depression you were in. That's why I was waiting outside your office for you, insisted we have dinner together. That's why I proposed that night. And that's why I wanted a quick wedding. I knew you'd shake yourself out of that depression before long and when you did, probably tell me to get lost. Do you understand what I'm saying, Katherine? Have I answered'your question?"
Katherine's eyes felt gritty, her throat hurt and her head ached. "Yes, I understand." Her voice was hoarse, uneven. "While you were still little more than a boy you wanted a girl. Not being able to have that girl made you want her more. As you grew older you brooded about it and as the years passed the brooding became an obsession. Finally, as a mature man, you decided the only way to end that obsession was to have the girl, now a free woman. Have you succeeded in ending your obsession, Matt?"
His voice raw, he answered, "Have I been acting like a man who's ended his obsession?"
Bowing her head, she closed her eyes against the hot stinging tears that overflowed her lids, burning like acid as they ran down her face. He was beside her in an instant, his hand lifting her head to face him. His voice was an agonized rasp. "Kate, baby, don't cry. Good Christ, I wait twenty-five years for the chance to tell you I love you and when I get it, I blow it. I love you. I always have loved you. Will you stop crying? You scared me enough the other night with your tears, you know that, don't you?"
Uncertain if he was teasing or not she stared at him wide eyed, shaking her head. "Well you did. Almost as much as when you had Jon."
"What do you mean?" She gulped.
"I mean I was afraid, that's what I mean. Why do you think I wasn't too enthusiastic when you told me you were pregnant?"
"I thought you didn't want our baby."
"Not want him? My sweet love, I've always wanted our baby. But I thought it was too late, and I lived with fear the whole time you carried him. When Jack called and told me you were in the hospital, I thought I'd go out of my mind. You had fallen twice, you weren't due. The fact that you didn't care enough for me to call me yourself didn't help much. I kept thinking, she hates me and she's going to die having my child."
Instead of stopping, the flow of tears increased and leaning forward she rested her forehead against his chest, sobbing, "I wanted you with me so badly and I thought you didn't care."
Dipping his head he caught her mouth with his, lifting her head as he raised his own, pressing her gently back against the bed. Moving his mouth off hers he slid his parted lips slowly up one cheek and down the other, drinking her tears. In between short, hard, salty kisses, he whispered, "Not care? Not care? I wonder if I dare tell you how much I care? I lied to you a little while ago when I said I never cried or got drunk again. I did both the night you had Jon. I didn't cry like a kid or get falling down drunk. No, I wept in sheer relief that it was over, you were safe, then I got quietly stoned. Dare I tell you that since our wedding night I've been ragingly jealous of a man that's been
dead for twenty years? I was the first man since Kevin, wasn't I?"
"Yes."
"I knew it. I wanted you so badly, love. And when you turned your head away I was sure it was because you couldn't bear the thought of any other man touching you. I tried to stop myself, but I had waited so long, wanted so long. God, I felt like an animal and yet I could only go so long without coming to you again. The jealousy of Kevin started that first night. I had never felt it before. Tell me, Kate. Were you still mourning him or was it that you just couldn't stand me?"
"It was neither." She answered truthfully. "I was simply afraid. It had been so long and I felt so inadequate. For some time after Kevin died I really couldn't bear the thought of another man touching me. And then later I couldn't bear the thought of going to bed with a man, just to go to bed with a man. Do you understand?"
"Yes. You felt you had to be in love with a man before you could give yourself to him."
She nodded. "That's why I was so frightened that first night. I wasn't in love with you then. At least I don't think I was."
"And you are now? You're sure?" His voice held an odd fearful note.
Her hands went to his face, holding it firmly as she stared steadily into his eyes. "Matt, I loved Kevin. But it was a very young love. An immature love. Never, never with him did I feel the terrible pain I've felt thinking you didn't love me. Or the unbelievable joy that's filled me since you told me you do. Yes, darling, I'm absolutely sure."
Her hands still held his head and now she drew it
down to her. Her lips moved in small,
soft kisses over his face then sought his mouth. She heard the breath catch in his throat as she slid her tongue into his mouth then his arms crushed her to him, the muscles taut and hard.
When at last his mouth released hers, she was breathless and still her mouth caught his again. All the sweet passion singing through her veins, the aching need of him, the overwhelming love she felt for him, was transmitted to him from her mouth into his. She tore her mouth from his, and her lips found the rapidly beating pulse at his throat.
Drawing his head back he stared at her, eyes blazing with love. Grinning wickedly, he teased, "You're a beautifully bad woman, my love, the effect you have on me is almost indecent and I crave it like a narcotic." He kissed her hard, fast, then whispered against her lips, "I love you, my Kate. If you ever run away from home again, take me with you."
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Joan Hohl 8 Author's Journal: Insider's Guide to
Pennsylvania by Joan Hohl n Sneak Peek: Maverick by Joan Hohl
Author Interview:
A Conversation with New York Times Bestselling Author
Joan Hohl
Joan Hohl is a New York Times bestselling author of over forty books. She has received numerous awards for her work, including the Romance Writers of America Golden Medallion Award. In addition to contemporary romance, this prolific author also writes historical and time-travel romances.
Please tell us a bit about how you began your writing career.
I have always wanted to write. Ever since I was a child, I have made up stories in my mind, for my own amusement. I thought everybody did it! But, with only a high school education, I believed myself way too uneducated, and very audacious to even think about it. Until I turned forty, a definite turning point in my thinking. Asking myself what I had to lose, and not afraid of rejection, I sat down at the kitchen table with a spiral notebook and a couple of pencils, and started to write.
Turned out, it was a good thing I wasn't afraid of rejection, because I was rejected a lot! I kept doggedly writing though, and three years or so later, I sold my first book. I have sold everything I've written since that time, which now amounts to twenty-eight years.
Was there a particular person, place or thing that inspired this story, Come Home to Love?
There was no special person, place or thing that inspired me to write Come Home to Love. I have no idea where the story came from, but then, I never have a clue where any of my stories come from.
What's your writing routine?
I don't actually have a writing routine. There are £
days, when the story is running through my head, h
that I spend up to twelve hours writing. Then *■
there are other days, more frequent as I get older, z>
when I don't even go near my computer. g
How do you research your stories?
A lot of my stories are set in Pennsylvania. Being a native of the state, I concentrate mostly on the areas I'm familiar with. The stories set in other parts of the country I research by visiting the state or reading research manuals.
How do you develop your characters?
I really don't develop my characters. They jump Into my head, fully developed, demanding a story of their own, usually when I'm in the middle of a work in progress. I silently tell them to pick a number and get in line to wait their turn.
When you're not writing, what are your favorite activities?
When I'm not writing, my favorite activities are reading (that's #1), shopping and visiting the Jersey Shore. I love the ocean.
Could you tell us a bit about your family?
I have been married to my personal hero, Marv, for fifty-two years. We have two beautiful daughters, Lori and Amy. Lori gave us our first grandchild—a granddaughter. Her name is Erica, and she is tall, slim, blond and also beautiful. Amy gave Marv and me a grandson. His name is Cammeron. He is six-four and handsome, with a devilish grin. Naturally, Marv and I adore both of them. Well, all four, including their mothers.
What are your favorite kinds of vacations? Where do you like to travel?
As previously mentioned, I love to vacation along the ocean. I love visiting New York City for the shows and the shopping. I like visiting Philadelphia, and all the historic sites there. There are many
states I enjoy visiting. Among my favorites are Virginia (Williamsburg and Mount Vernon), Texas (San Antonio and the Alamo), California and the drive along Big Sur.
Do you have a favorite book or film?
I have many favorite books and authors. My all-time favorite book is Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I have read it numerous times. I enjoy romance books the most, which I feel sure surprises no one! But I also read in many genres. I admire many authors, but I won't name names here, as I don't want to slight any writers by forgetting a name or two.
Any last words to your readers?
My final words to my readers are simple but heartfelt: I sincerely thank all my fans for their encouragement and continued support of my work. Without each and every one of you, I'd only be writing for my own enjoyment. But, I would still be writing.
3 <
D Z O
Joan Hohl's next book, Maverick, will be on sale in April 2006 from Silhouette Desire.
Insider's Guide to Pennsylvania
by Joan Hohl
I was born, raised and still live in Pennsylvania. Although I have visited many states since I began my writing career, every one with many attractions, I am still happy to return to my home state. Please, allow me to tell you something about it.
There are many historic sites in Pennsylvania, from the mountains, to the gently rolling farmlands. I'll begin with the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, as I live in the midst of it. Four counties make up this part of the state: Lancaster, Lebanon, Lehigh and Berks. But the one most recognized is Lancaster. It's a very scenic county, with the patchwork farm fields, the Hex signs painted on barns, its many antique shops and, probably most pictured, the black-clad Plain People and their horse-drawn, boxlike black buggies moving along the roads, always in danger from modern vehicles weaving in and out at much higher speeds.
To the west of Lancaster you'll find the hallowed grounds of Gettysburg, where President Lincoln gave his famous speech. On every Fourth of July, visitors can observe the reenactment of the battles fought valiantly by the armies of both the North and the South.
Approximately forty miles northeast of Philadelphia you'll find the Daniel Boone Homestead, still intact and open to the public. Closer to Philadelphia is Valley Forge, where General George Washington quartered his ragtag army the winter of 1777-78. There you will find the restoration of the crude buildings where the men lived and suffered the cruel conditions of that bitter winter.
From Valley Forge it's a short drive to the city of Philadelphia, my favorite place to visit. Today's Philadelphia is a diverse, modern city humming ^
with energy. Yet within all that hustle and bustle is <
a section out of time called Old City. Old City is where America began and there is much to see. ^
Let's begin with Elfreth's Alley, the nation's 2
oldest continuously occupied residential street. Most of the houses are private homes, but there is one house the public can visit with a guide, and a small shop next door where a tour can be arranged. From Elfreth's Alley, stroll to the Betsy Ross house where, legend has it, our first flag was sewn by Betsy herself. This house also may
be toured by the public. Now It's a few blocks walk to the recently built National Constitution Center. Don't miss it! I won't even try to describe everything there is to see and do inside. Across the street from the center is the new site where the Liberty Bell is housed. This also is a must-see for every visitor.
There are other sites to see, too many to recount here, but just a few are the Mar
ket Street Houses, Christ Church burial grounds and Carpenter's Hall.
But first and foremost, and very important to me, is Independence Hall. There is only one way for me to describe my feelings when stepping 10 inside the building: awestruck, in the truest sense of the word. One feels as though the voices of the signers of the Declaration of Independence can still be heard echoing in the chamber, arguing back and forth, hammering out the finished product, declaring to the world that Americans would be a free people.
And that's why I love my Pennsylvania.
;EEf^ Here's a sneak peek.
Maverick
by
Joan Hohl
Coming in April 2006 from Silhouette Desire.
JOAN HOHL
CHAPTER ONE
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rll things considered, she was a traffic stopper. And there were a lot of attributes to consider.
Tanner raised a questioning eyebrow at the looker standing on the other side of the apartment door he had just opened.
"Mr. Wolfe?"
A tingle attacked the base of Tanners spine. Her voice had the effect of warm honey trickling the length of his back. Her eyes were the color of brandy.
"Yes." He was rather proud at the steady, almost bored tone of his voice, when bored was the last thing he was feeling. Hot, yes. Bored, no. He lifted one brow.
She stood there, all five foot nine or so, slim and classically beautiful. She was dressed casually but expensively. One deep, dark eyebrow arched, mirroring his action. "May I come in?"
