by Lark Watson
Although I would admit to having my curiosity piqued. To see what someone who knew nothing of me or of my circumstances found in my presence to be my truth. How good of a reader of people would she have to be? I’d imagine extremely good to be the least bit entertaining.
I sat in my seat with my soda in hand, watching the people come together and apart, making new combinations for conversation. It seemed that the men would drift back toward business when left to their own devices but that Ms. Ingram did not care for that as it meant their attention was firmly planted on something other than herself.
Mr. Thorneton showered her with the attention she wanted each time she got bored. He seemed to have an internal barometer that allowed him to know how long she’d last without him doting on her.
Or perhaps, he just couldn’t stay away.
At any rate, the next person called was the man with the blue-blue eyes. Micha walked him through the door as Didi came rushing back in, gushing to the girls about all the woman had told her.
Apparently good fortune and luck were hers. She would break her next beau’s heart, but the man after that would be a keeper. And, she would get a contract with a small boutique agency that would let her model and travel more.
Of course, Ms. Ingram smiled and nodded, but the idea that someone else may have good fortune in those things obviously was not to her pleasure.
The woman chatted and pulled the other man into their conversation as Mr. Thorneton wandered over to Micha and pulled him aside to discuss something. They were deep in conversation, allowing me the moment to study him—something I was seldom afforded. But, with his gaze and attention so firmly elsewhere, I allowed myself the pleasure.
This was my treat for the evening.
“Nanny.” I turned, because I knew there was no avoiding it. “You’re here again?”
“It seems so.”
She stood over me, arms crossed obviously displeased with my answer. I assumed there should have been more bowing and apologizing for my existence on my side, but I had too much self-respect to lower myself to that. She may be beautiful and famous, but I was well aware of what century we lived in. If she did not want to suffer my presence, perhaps she should not have joined me in my corner.
Behind her, the candles flickered and glowed, adding depth to her already layered blond hair and a certain lovely black and white film starlet look. I could see why Mr. Thorneton would want such a woman on his arm. It was, if anything, exactly what a man of power would possess.
“Why is that?” She asked before going on. “Why is it that you are invited down to sit with us when you offer nothing of interest or entertainment?”
I couldn’t help but wonder the same myself and so, because I had no answer, I shrugged.
“Is there, perhaps someone here who has of interest in you?” her gaze slid over to where Mr. Thorneton and Micha stood, heads together over a notebook.
I fought the blush I felt rising up my cheeks. My thought was that even though I knew Mr. Thorneton had no interest in me, the same could not be said of the reverse. And, I feared that this woman was the kind who would make a spectacle of my affections.
“No.” I replied, hoping it sounded sure and steady. “None at all.”
But her smile deepened as she leaned in and nearly whispered, “There is not someone whose attention you seek for yourself?”
I shook my head, not trusting my voice.
She sat back, simply amused by my silence. After a moment, she glanced again to where the men met behind us.
“I have to say, darling, he’s out of your reach. But, what woman wouldn’t want a bite of that.” She leaned in as if she were a friend and we were sharing secrets. “I have to admit, I should have seen your answer last night. It does make sense. And, I suppose any woman could be swayed by that pretty face and very nice ass, but—” She put a hand on my arm, as if to comfort. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up. He’s strictly devoted to his job.”
She scowled in their direction and it gave me a moment to realize she was speaking of Micha. Of course. Micha and I, in some odd way in her mind, were equals, both of us employed by Mr. Thorneton.
She gave me far more credit than my standing in the house actually permitted.
“Plus,” she looked me up and down and I felt the slap coming. “If you think he’d look at someone like you—well, you’re far, far too plain for him. Not homely mind you. That might actually add some character to your appearance. Just—plain.”
“Violet.” Mr. Thorneton stood, not three paces away from us, listening to her tell me about the obvious lack of beauty I had. “The men have finished with the card reader and it’s your turn. You’re still interested in having your cards read, aren’t you?”
She jumped up, all but forgetting I was there.
“Yes! I’m ready.” She rushed toward the door the tall man was just coming through, not waiting for Micha to show her the way. He followed along after her probably realizing she’d have no idea where she was going once she was in the hall.
“Jane.” Mr. Thorneton stayed where he was. “You’re next.”
“I don’t need a turn, sir.” I feared it would bring me too much into their attention again.
“Oh, I insist.” He flashed that self-assured, smile again.
I nodded, understanding this was a treat offered even if it wasn’t something that excited me. I was, admittedly, a bit superstitious.
Growing up, you learn the background and stories of so many people, you see things—things you can’t explain. Protections that come just in time when needed. Prayers answered. Curses summonsed.
There was a world beyond ours and I knew it was one that an aware woman tiptoed through. I would not charge any door Fiona’s grandmother opened, but let myself walk softly in if invited.
I glanced behind me to where Mr. Thorneton was rejoining Micha and gave him a deep smile, one the two men shared. Before I knew what was happening, Micha was walking my way with his little lantern to lead me back.
“Ready, Ms. Jane?” He smiled and held the door to the butler’s hallway. “Perhaps you’ll learn your future.”
“I know my future,” I told him and he laughed.
As we made our way down the hall, the small lantern lighting our way through the closed in walkway, the door at the end of the hall was thrown open.
Ms. Ingram stepped out, appearing annoyed and thoughtful. It took her a moment to realize she had no light nor direction before she saw us. She turned, pushing her way past us and toward the door.
“Micha.” It was a command. There was no need for her to issue more. He was to follow, lighting her way back to the others.
I on the other hand, was left just outside the silver pantry, no light but that slipping through the partially open door. I pushed the door the rest of the way open to find the small room had been turned into a mystical chamber. Candles flooded the space with light, reflecting off the glass paneled cabinets and the silver within.
Snuggly fit in the small area was a table covered in a dark cloth with a chair on my side and, on the other, the older woman sat, her fingers resting slightly on the deck of cards to her right.
“You must be Jane.” She smiled as she said it, not working the old woman, mysterious stranger angle at all, but beckoning me in and to have a seat. “Sit, sit. I’ve been looking forward to this all evening.”
“You have?” I was suddenly more confused than I’d anticipated. I didn’t know why I’d been called down to see this woman, but the fact that she knew of me at all was odd.
“Yes, yes. Mr. Thorneton told me a wee bit about each of his guests. He said you were the one least like to expect anything and most likely to deserve it. But,” she continued before I could reply, “it’s for the cards to tell tonight, is it not?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Have you had your cards read before, miss?” she seemed honestly curious as she shuffled the deck she’d been tapping a moment before.
“No, ma�
��am.”
“So, you don’t believe, then?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I think…” I stopped, wondering what it was that made me want to speak where I typically would have remained silent.
“Go on, child. You think what?”
I saw no harm in telling her simple things, as she’d take my thoughts with her went she left.
“I think different things are for different people. We all believe in something and so, this was not what pulled me to it when I was young. As long as we have a core belief that points us toward honesty and goodness, what harm is it the avenue we take there?”
“But that doesn’t mean you don’t believe.”
“No, I suppose not.” And, as most were treating this as a game, I saw no harm in staying to play a moment.
“Well then.” She did something fancy with the cards making them appear as though they danced beneath her fingers. Then, with a quick tap, she had me choose several before she laid them out in a pattern.
Each card was turned and explained, nothing special or enlightening about them. Just what they were, but then, she paused and took my measure.
“You’re wondering if I’m going to tell you anything and what I could tell you beyond this slight lesson in Tarot, and so I’ll share with you these things.” She tapped each card, and looked back up at me. I could see a battle going on, a struggle I doubted she even wanted to have. I suspected it was bad news she saw and so I braced myself because it was not an act but an honest emotion that flit across her face.
Then, with a slight nod to herself she went on.
“I see here that you have lived many lives already, true?”
I nodded because I assumed she mean the many homes I’d had.
“Ah, and that you have been a caregiver of others since you were small, true?”
I nodded again since that was clear from my caring for the other foster girls before my role as a nanny became formalized.
She reached out, touching certain cards with the tips of her fingers before looking up at me and staring hard. The lights of the candles flickered as she steepled her hands, sending each of us into shadow for a moment.
“You, you know my girl Fae.”
“Fae?” I asked thinking I didn’t know a Fae nor a fae, but with how this was going I could comfortably lean toward the second in her meaning.
“Fiona. She works here now with you. She says you’re a good girl, Jane Byrne. A kind one, but smart. “
“Oh.” I felt a slight blush on my cheeks, glad the lighting wouldn’t show it off. Praise was something that seemed odd from a peer. But, nonetheless, it meant the world. “Thank you.”
She nodded, as if thanking her for Fiona’s words was her due.
“So, I tell you this, Jane Byrne.” She took the cards, stacking them and putting them aside. “Your happiness is near at hand. You must take it if you want it, but it comes with a risk. Will you think the risk is worth it?”
I waited, wondering what the question meant. How I was I to know if I would risk unknown sacrifices for unknown rewards?
“Well?” she prodded.
“I don’t know, ma’am. What is the pleasure if it were to lead to the loss of your soul?” I couldn’t help but worry about such things in the atmosphere of the small room.
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” She put the cards in a velvet pouch and pulled the strings tight. “Others, they did not ask that question. They rush forward, only for the pleasure, looking for what would grant them whatever it is they want—wealth, power, attention. But, Jane Byrne, she doesn’t care for such things, does she?”
“What care have I for things so beyond my reach that they’re an unknown dream?” I sat forward and let my hands rest on the cloth between us. “If I were to have a place to live and a job I enjoyed and the security those things brought, that would be enough.”
“Would it?” She sounded as if she doubted this.
Surely, a person could wish for more without wanting for it.
“Would you want the man you dream of or the children you wish for your own? Would you want the security that being protected offers?” She leaned in, lowering her voice, “What would you risk for such things?”
I paused, wondering why this felt like such a true questioning—as if it mattered to this woman in this moment.
“Ma’am, some of us grow up knowing that some dreams should be set aside. And, I am fine with that. I have such small pleasures as I’d never thought to know. Why would I wish for the impossible and belittle the things I’ve been given?”
After a moment, she reached out and pat my hand. “You are, Jane, a good girl.”
She fiddled with the string of the bag her cards lived in before meeting my eye again.
“Ms. Ingram was here before you and went away unhappy with her reading. She has all the world at her feet and when told that the man she chased had less than she assumed, she no longer had the shine she came in with. “
That struck me—Mr. Thorneton didn’t have the money Ms. Ingram wished he did? How much more did a man have to tempt her? He was not enough? Perhaps not for her—and she had so much already. But, to have Mr. Thorneton himself should have been the prize.
“You have nothing to say to that?” she asked.
“No, ma’am. The affairs of the guests are none of my concern.”
“Are they not?” she waited, obviously expecting an answer and, since I had none further, just shook her head.
She gave a nod to herself again and pushed the chair back. “Thank you for coming. Your reading was a respite from the others.”
I rose and offered her my hand to shake. She laughed and rose to take it.
“And, thank you for your kindness.”
“No, ma’am. Thank you for your gift.” I turned and headed out into the hall, only to remember the lights were out and I had no way but touch to find my way back.
I could, perhaps, turn left instead of right and make my way to the kitchen hoping no one would notice I did not return.
Just as I was contemplating this, the door at the far end opened and Micha came through it, striding down to meet me.
As he reached me, something became obvious that I had not considered before.
“You’re listening.” I tried to keep the accusation unemotional as I replayed my conversation with Fiona’s grandmother, hoping I gave nothing of myself away.
“Excuse me?” he said more than asked, trying with his height and obvious strength to put me in my place.
But, I was done with that for the evening. I had to bide my place for the guests. But for Micha, I was done being set aside as little mouse. “You’re listening. It’s how you’ve known each time when the guests were done and to fetch them and bring the next.”
We stood, facing off in the tight quarters of the butler’s hall, Micha’s gaze narrowing when he realized I was not backing down.
Then, seeming to surprise him as much as me, he chuckled. “I should have known. You’re too aware. I’ve warned him, she sees too much. But does he listen? No. I think he enjoys you for that reason alone, that you’re someone who sees as clearly as he does—perhaps more so.”
“So, you admit it?” I was a bit surprised that he did so freely.
“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t listen to yours.” I could feel him leaving something out, but did not push. “The others…”
He stopped and I waited. I could feel him making a judgment call and I wondered where I’d land in it.
“You must know that more goes on in this house than your simple party, your simple business plans. Thorne does what he must to take the advantage.”
“And so, the listening?”
“And, perhaps the planting of certain ideas.” The smirk he held in earlier came out, clearly this time.
“Ms. Ingram,” I said, sure now that the information was shared with her—perhaps with both of us—for very specific reasons.
I would admit to feeling more on a fair standing
with her knowing she was shallower than I could have anticipated. But, pride and humility so seldom share space together well, and so I set it aside because feeling beyond her was a fast way to be rebuked and humiliated further.
“For one,” he offered.
I stood, contemplating that and wondering why I was added to this mix of guests these past two nights in that case. If it was true that Mr. Thorneton was creating a delicate balance of information give and take here, what would my presence add—or perhaps distract from.
“That’s enough, little mouse.” Micha said it almost with affection this time and I found myself not bothered by the name.
“Am I to return to the library or am I excused?”
“Listen to your hopefulness.” He laughed and took my arm, turning me toward the library. “More torture for you tonight I’m afraid.”
With that, he led me back to the library, back to the play I was now aware of.
Chapter 30
Once back in the library, I found my little corner of the room had gained a blanket and a side table where my soda sat waiting for me. The chill of the library was deeper than when I’d left, a reminder that we had no electricity.
I tried not to snuggle too far under my blanket, realizing I’d look even more like an uncouth child in adult company. But, I couldn’t help but notice that the ladies were wearing full clothing this evening as compared to last night.
A moment after I sat, the door opened again and Fiona came in, bringing hot drinks for each of the guests. After she distributed them, she wove her way over to my side.
“Sorry, miss. Wasn’t sure what you’d like.” She gave a cheeky wink and held her tray as if to take my order in a fine establishment. “How’s your night here? You look more comfortable.”
“More comfortably dressed maybe.” I settled the blanket around my legs and smoothed it down. “I met your grandmother. She’s very sweet.”
“Aye, she said you were a darling girl and to thank you for your kindness.”
I paused, confused. “What kindness?”
“Oh, you know… not talking down to her or overtly humoring her or being out and out rude. She said she didn’t know if you were a believer, but you were sweet to her and took her for her honesty.”
