by Rinyu, Beth
Chapter 3
The weeks were flying by and before I knew it, I had reached my two-month milestone. Little Akin was still hanging in there, having a better reaction to the medication than expected. I didn’t want to get a false sense of optimism, so I decided to hope for the best but expect the worst. I was starting to get accustomed to my routine, my rock-hard bed, and sulfur-smelling showers. I was even finding myself thinking of Jake less. The thing that I couldn’t get used to was talking to my dad just once a week. I looked forward to our weekly call more than anything. It made me feel like he was in the next room instead of halfway across the world, even if it was only for five minutes. He always assured me that everything was fine and I wasn’t able to sense that anything was wrong in his voice. I had never been able to gauge his mood, even by looking at him. He was always good at masking when anything was bothering him. He told me that he had gone for his physical, which was long overdue. It made me happy that he had kept his promise to go. I would hang up each time feeling the same homesickness as always, but quickly snapped out of it once I began focusing on work.
I had finally felt like I had a good night’s sleep for the first time since I’d arrived. I woke up feeling refreshed, even though it felt like it was already 90 degrees. I walked into the bathroom and studied myself in the mirror. The bags that had taken up residence under my eyes for the past week were finally gone. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. My suntanned face was glowing. The blonde that was once only highlights had now taken over my light brown hair from being in the sun so much. I decided that I didn’t want to wear my hair back today, even though I knew I would regret it later in the day in the hot blazing sun. I slid my ponytail holder on my wrist. It would only be a matter of time before it went into my hair.
Tricia was already dressed and pacing around waiting for me. We were attending a seminar that was mandatory for all available staff. Charles and James had headed out to one of the other villages hours before to assist. They were hoping to make it back in time to attend but were unsure if they would be able to. I had offered to go in Charles’ place but he thought that Tricia and I would benefit greatly from the seminar since it was the first time that either of us had been here. Tricia agreed to take notes for James, who was also here for the first time and would be missing it as well.
“Can’t we just skip this?” I asked as I walked out of the bathroom.
“Be happy - you’re having a good hair day!” Tricia said as she touched my hair briefly and we exited the room.
We walked into the large windowless meeting room that was already filled with people. We hurried, finding two seats together in the second row. The seminar was to give a brief overview of the current statistics of outbreaks, the areas most in need, and to answer any questions that we might have. The guest speaker was Dr. Julian Kiron, a pediatric oncologist. He had been over here several times to assist in pediatric cancer outbreaks that had been occurring recently. He was well known in the medical world as one of the most up-and-coming doctors in his field. I had read many articles about him and was curious to see the face behind the name. Although I had heard he was a dynamic speaker, I really wasn’t very interested in hearing anything he had to say today – my mind was a million miles away.
Tricia read over the agenda for the seminar. I used mine to fan myself and shoo away the bugs. I wanted to get this over so I could go and check on Akin. I looked around at the other attendees. I focused my attention on a strikingly handsome man making his way across the room as everyone stopped him to talk. He was well over six feet tall with a perfect body. He looked like he was in his early thirties, with very strong features and perfectly pitched lips. His hair was jet black and cut very short around his ears with a little more length on top, showing off a very slight wave. He had a boyish smile that exposed two perfectly placed dimples. He was either born with perfect teeth or his parents spent a lot of money on braces. The intensity of his eyes could be seen from across the room. I had never seen eyes that blue; they almost didn’t look real. Tricia mumbled something to me but I wasn’t paying attention to her. I was too focused on this stranger who had just entered the room.
The room became silent as a short, stout woman approached the podium and introduced herself as Dr. Courtney Jones. I got butterflies in my stomach when the handsome blue-eyed stranger took the empty seat next to me. I tried to focus as best I could on what was being said as I checked off every item on the agenda in anticipation of it being over. I rested my head against the back of the chair and rolled my eyes whenever someone would slow down the process and ask a question.
“Bored?” the handsome, blue-eyed man sitting next to me leaned over and whispered.
My stomach fluttered – the color of his eyes was so intense. “Huh?” I said, taken off guard. “Oh well, I just have a ton of other things I could be doing right now,” I answered quietly as I finally regained my composure.
His smile made me melt and I felt myself instantly smiling back. “Well, it’s almost over,” he said.
“Yeah, just one more stuffy doctor’s boring speech to sit through. I’m sure he’s so full of himself that he’ll probably drag it out forever, talking about how great he is,” I whispered.
His smile turned into a huge grin as he chuckled. I really didn’t think it was that funny, but obviously he found some humor in it. Tricia slapped me lightly on the arm to pay attention. But it was of no use—I was much more interested in this beautiful man sitting next to me. I caught myself glancing at him once more – suddenly this seminar wasn’t so boring after all.
Dr. Jones gave a brief history of Dr. Kiron’s achievements, which most of us already knew. I was daydreaming and wishing that she would just get on with it.
“It gives me great pleasure to introduce Dr. Kiron.” Dr. Jones said.
I was shocked when I saw the handsome blue-eyed man sitting next to me approach the podium. My face became heated and I knew I was probably turning beet red. I sank in my chair a little lower, wanting to find a way to escape from my humiliation as he gave me a quick smile before he began to speak.
“He’s gorgeous!” Tricia said with her jaw nearly dropping.
Dr. Kiron’s voice was just as lovely to listen to as his face was to look at. He seemed poised and confident. I couldn’t stop staring at his eyes and a few times I felt like he had noticed as he glanced over my way. His speech finally ended and I had no clue what it was even about. I was still in awe over Dr. Kiron.
“Wow, I never expected him to be so young,” Tricia said, finally spotting James, who was seated all the way in the back, probably sneaking in somewhere during the middle. “I’ve got to talk to James,” she said, speeding off to get to him, leaving me behind to make my way through the crowd.
I stood there trying to plan my departure, catching a glimpse of Dr. Kiron standing by the exit. He was fielding questions from people as they were leaving. I noticed Dr. Jones dragging the podium back to the corner of the room and putting chairs back into place.
“Need some help?” I asked.
“Sure, if you got the time to spare,” she answered appreciatively.
I looked back at the crowd of people bombarding the exit and Dr. Kiron. “Looks like I’m going to be here a while!” I said, wanting to avoid the crowd and the embarrassment of facing him again.
I helped her put everything back into place. She thanked me about a million times and then ran off to do her rounds. I too had planned to leave the now-empty room and turned back around, remembering that I had forgotten my notebook. I grabbed it from the chair, turning back to exit. The only thing that I could focus on was two beautiful blue eyes looking directly at me.
“Hello,” Dr. Kiron said in his charismatic voice.
“Hey,” I answered, pushing my hair behind my ears, something I always found myself doing when I was nervous. “That really was a wonderful speech; not boring at all,” I said, trying to redeem myself for my prior comments. The truth was I hadn’t heard one word o
f it because I was too busy staring at him the whole time.
“Thank you. So I didn’t brag too much about myself for your liking?” he asked sounding somewhat smug.
“Oh sorry- I didn’t – it was really good.” I felt my face begin to burn. He looked more like a model than a doctor and I was pretty sure that he knew it. I began to feel uncomfortable in the empty room with him as I quickly thought of something to say. “Oh, I’m Katrina Vallia.” I extended my hand.
He took my hand very gently. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Vallia.”
“I thought that I had left my tape recorder in here, but I guess not,” he said, giving the room the once-over.
“Oh, that really stinks,” I said.
“Not a big deal; I have about ten others in my room,” he replied.
I clenched my notebook to my chest. “Well, it was so nice to meet you,” I said.
“You too, Dr. Vallia.”
I was melting again in his smile. “Kat,” I blurted out of nowhere.
“What was that?” He looked puzzled.
“My friend’s call me Kat - I mean you can call me Kat.” What was I saying? I sounded like such a fool.
I felt my face starting to turn hot and hoped that I wasn’t blushing. I smiled and headed out the door while he stayed behind.
“Hey, Kat,” he hollered, his voice sounding so smooth.
“Yes?” I pushed my hair out of the way as I turned around.
“Hopefully I’ll see you around,” he said with the same beautiful smile.
“Sure,” was all I was able to get out with a shaky voice. I walked out of the room into the bright sunlight grinning from ear to ear feeling like a teenager.
Tricia’s voice broke me from my euphoria. “There you are,” she said frantically. “We need you in infirmary C.” She grabbed my hand as we briskly walked over.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s Akin; he’s not doing so well.”
I felt my heart sink. In the back of my mind I kept thinking that by some miracle he would overcome this. All of a sudden it felt as if any hope that I had was totally washed away. Over the past months he had become my first priority. I had been taking care of him adamantly every day. I would sit with him for hours after my rounds were done just so he would know that someone was there. Even though we didn’t speak the same language, it seemed as if there were no barriers between us. I walked over to his bed. His eyes were half closed. He had flies crawling over his face. I shooed them away, not able to stand the sight of it. He appeared much weaker than he had just ten hours ago when I had last seen him.
“Hi, Akin, It’s Dr. Kat.” His dry little lips managed a tiny smile when he saw me.
“How is he?” I asked Charles, who had been attending to him.
“We’re not able to get the fever down, he has an underlying infection, and his kidneys are shutting down.” I looked back at Akin and then at Charles, who had been up half the night with emergencies.
“Charles, get some sleep; you look exhausted, I’ll stay with him.” Charles looked at me both sympathetically and disapprovingly.
“Kat, I told you that you can’t get too close to any of your patients here. It’s only setting you up for heartbreak.”
“I’m okay,” I said, looking away. “Now go get some rest.”
Charles put his hand on my shoulder as he walked away. I pulled a chair closer to Akin’s bed and took his hand. “I’m right here, Akin,” I whispered. He managed another little smile at the sound of my voice. I began to tell him the bedtime story that my mom would tell me when I was a little girl. He listened, smiling every now and then. I knew that he couldn’t understand my language but the sound of my voice seemed to comfort him. I sat by his bedside watching him drift in and out of sleep and checking his vital stats from time to time. His heart rate was dropping, which was not a good sign. I knew that there wasn’t anything else that could be done for him. I felt a lump in my throat and tears filling my eyes. I am not going to do this; I promised Charles, I said to myself. But as I saw Akin take his last breath the tears began to flow down my face. I sat by his side for a few moments when I was finally broken out of my trance.
“Hey, are you okay?” Dr. Kiron asked, standing beside me. His blue eyes staring down at me were comforting.
“Yup,” was all I could say. I tried to regain my composure before speaking again. “Well, this is my fault. I was warned about getting too close with anyone.” I tried to hide the uneasiness in my voice as I wiped the tears from eyes.
“You’re only human. Besides, there are always exceptions to the rules,” he reassured me.
I looked at him, puzzled. Seeming to sense my confusion, he explained. “There’s always someone or something that will make you feel so strongly that you will go against everything you are taught or planned. He was the exception to your rule.”
I nodded as I wiped the final tear streaming down my face. “Brave boy,” I said in a whisper, looking down at Akin’s tiny body lying in the bed.
“What?” he asked.
“His name was Akin, which means ‘brave boy.’ I couldn’t think of a more fitting name for him,” I said, turning back to Dr. Kiron looking directly into his eyes.
“This is the hardest part about this job,” he said, trying to comfort me.
“Well this is the first patient that I’ve ever lost. I usually just work at getting them better,” I answered. “But I can only imagine, being an oncologist you must see your fair share of heartache.”
He nodded.
“I’m just glad that I was here with him, so he wasn’t alone,” I said as he looked at me compassionately. “This poor little boy had no one.”
The coroner was coming in to take Akin away so I had to leave the area. I didn’t want to cry again and look like a babbling fool to Dr. Kiron. I stood just outside the curtain gathering my thoughts. I was shocked when I looked down at my watch and realized that it was already 6 p.m. I had spent the entire afternoon with Akin. I heard Dr. Kiron giving the time and cause of death. He came out from behind the curtain writing something on his clipboard.
“Thanks for doing that for me; I just couldn’t handle seeing them take him away,” I said very gratefully.
“No problem,” he said, still writing on his clipboard.
“Well, I’ll see you, Dr. Kiron.” I pushed my hair behind my ear again.
I started to walk away when I heard him say, “Julian.”
“What?” I turned back to look at him.
“My friends call me Julian.” His smile showed off his perfectly placed dimples.
“Okay, Julian.” I returned his smile as I walked out into the hot sticky evening, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I was thinking of Akin and feeling so sad. At the same time I imagined Dr. Kiron’s beautiful blue eyes, which strangely helped me smile through the tears.
Chapter 4
The short walk up the hill from the village to my room seemed never ending, for which I was somewhat grateful. It allowed me time to clear my head. I knew that Tricia was probably back at the room. I had to mentally prepare myself for her always-sunny outlook on life. After today I couldn’t think of anything sunny at all, until Dr. Kiron’s face flashed into my mind. Must stop thinking about him. He’s just like Jake, incredibly good looking, absorbed in his career and more than likely a ladies man, the logical side of me said to myself. It was as if Mother Nature sensed my mood, because the skies opened up and a torrential rain began to fall. Oddly enough I didn’t walk any faster. Instead I stopped and stood in the rain, letting the moisture envelope me. The smell of the rain here was not the same sweet smell of a thunderstorm back home. It was more of a stale muddy stench, but even that didn’t bother me tonight. I stood there looking at the dark quiet village just at the bottom of the hill. The rain drops hit me on the head and rolled down my face. I knew I had to get past the heartache that I felt for these people. I had a job that I was sent here to do, but just for tonight I couldn�
�t help but sense the sorrow that surrounded this place. When I felt like I had finally gained enough composure to deal with the world, I continued my walk back to my room. I was totally exhausted and ignoring my hunger; the only thing that gave me comfort was the thought of my rock-hard bed.
I turned my key in the door, still prepping myself for Tricia. To my surprise and contentment she wasn’t there. I found a note on my pillow with little smiley faces on it:
Kat,
James and I are at the cafeteria grabbing a bite to eat if you care to join us!!
Love – Tricia xoxo
Even her handwriting seemed cheerful. Normally I loved her sunny persona but tonight no one could break me free of my melancholic state of mind. Then I immediately thought of the one and only person who could - my dad. I grabbed the towel hanging on the bathroom door and rubbed my hair vigorously. I wiped off the mascara that had run down my face from teardrops and raindrops. I pulled my damp hair back into a ponytail with the elastic band that was still on my arm from earlier in the day. I looked at my watch and quickly did some calculating in my head. It was roughly 1 p.m. at home. I was hoping that I would be able to catch him between his errands. I grabbed my calling card from my wallet and walked down the narrow dark hallway. There were only two phones and normally a line waiting to use them, but tonight there was no sign of anyone. I entered the code on my card and dialed the familiar number on the keypad. I was becoming a little despondent when he didn’t pick up by the third ring. Two more rings until the machine picks up, I thought to myself. Relief swept over me when I heard my dad’s voice on the other end after the fourth ring.
