by Alice Ward
She continued to study me. “You’re the woman from the park, aren’t you? The one who ran after my daughter when your boyfriend…” she spit out the word, “almost allowed her to be kidnapped.” She gave a hard shudder, which was obviously fake. “Such negligence letting a child that young play on the slides by herself.”
Kenzie scratched at her ear. “But I play alone all—”
“That’s quite enough, darling,” Danielle interrupted, her gaze still on me. “The point is that Xander is more of a threat to my children’s safety than I or…” she peered around me, looking directly at Kylian for the first time, “anyone else.”
She made me sick. “I’m sure the judge will make that determination.” I waved toward the door, not leaving my station in front of Kylian. “Please leave.”
“Or what?”
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have my guards with me right at that moment. With a single lift of my finger, Mrs. Big Lips would have been out that door and on her voluptuous behind.
“Or I shall call the guards.” I corrected myself quickly. “The police.”
She gave a dramatic sigh. “Look, that’s not necessary. I simply came here to see my children. I miss them, surely you understand that.”
A mother’s love.
I hardened my heart, feeling the manipulations in her words. “Yes, I do understand. And I also understand that there are unusual and regretful circumstances at play here. I wish for everyone’s sake that it wasn’t true, but the court order is very clear. I think it best that you return when Xander is home.”
She studied me, and I felt her taking my measure. It took everything in me not to cross my arms over my chest in self-protection.
“I would like to speak to Kylian for a moment.”
Ah… the true purpose of the visit. I turned to the boy and he, very slowly, shook his head.
“I’m sorry, that’s not possible at the moment.”
Her jaw tightened, and she stepped to the side. “Kylian, come talk to me, sweetheart. We have a few things that need to be straightened up.”
He was still shaking his head.
Danielle’s nostrils flared but her teeth bared in a tight smile. “Listen, darling. I need you to take back all those terrible things you said about Jet. You won’t be in trouble for lying.”
I stepped in front of her, holding out my hands. “You need to go.”
Kenzie started crying, and I laid a hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you and Kylian go check on the puppies?”
The little girl looked up at her mother. “Mommy…”
But Danielle wasn’t looking at her or at me. She had one focus. Her son. “You can speak to the detective over the phone,” she was saying. “He won’t be mad. All you have to say is that you made everything up. Or maybe it only happened in a dream.”
Kylian stood up and shouted, “No!”
Danielle’s face turned red, and I pushed Kenzie behind me. “Go to the puppies,” I urged her, but her feet were frozen, her finger in her mouth as tears stained her cheeks.
“Everyone is going to make fun of you for lying,” Danielle shouted, and with all my strength, I pushed her.
“Get out.”
She tottered on the heels but she didn’t lose her focus. “You don’t want that stigma to follow you through life, do you?”
I reached for the phone, and she reached into her purse. For a horrible moment, I thought she had a gun. I felt ridiculously lightheaded when she only pulled out a pink cased cell phone.
“I’m calling the police if you don’t leave,” I threatened, holding the phone up for her to see how serious I was. “Are you even supposed to leave California? I would imagine your troubles would deepen if you left Los Angeles without permission.”
That got her attention. She glared at me but took one last shot at her son. “Kylian, sweetie. I’m only thinking of you. I don’t want you to have to testify in front of the judge and tell all the world what you think Jet did to you. Won’t that be embarrassing? Won’t you hate having your friends call you names? Won’t—” I started pushing buttons, and she held up her hand. She glanced at her own phone. “Okay, I’m leaving.”
I’d already dialed one-one, and my finger was hovering over the two. It was only then that I realized 1-1-2 was wrong here in America. I tried to remember the numbers for here.
To my relief, it looked as if I wouldn’t need it. The hateful woman turned on her heel and strode to the door, opened it, and looked back at me one last time.
Her eyes scanned me again. “Woman to woman, Maddie. Your roots are starting to show. You might want to touch them up.”
The hair raised on the back of my neck, but I only lifted my chin. “Thank you for your fashion advice.” I scanned her in return. “Should I wish to resemble a blowup doll, I’ll take you up on it.”
If pure rage could have lit someone on fire, I would have been burning were I stood.
The door slammed shut behind her, and I nearly sagged in relief, then Kenzie asked, “What’s a blowup doll?”
I groaned, ignoring the question and running forward to lock the door, this time putting on the chain that was too high for the little girl to reach. By the time I had it secured, the veranda doors on the back of the house stood open, and Kylian was gone.
“Kenzie, please stay here and take care of the puppies.”
Her cheeks were still tearstained, but she had stopped crying. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to talk to Kylian for a little bit.”
She nodded solemnly. “I hope he stops being sad.”
I bent down and kissed the top of her head. “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”
She ran off to the sunroom, and I grabbed the house keys and rushed outside, pulling and locking the door behind me. I didn’t have to go far, I spotted him running toward the water.
I gave chase, the sand warm on my bare feet. When he was knee-deep in the water, he stopped and just stood there, staring out into the blueness of ocean and sky. I slowed and took a deep breath before moving to stand next to him.
“That was rough,” I said simply.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, just like his father. “Yeah.”
We stood that way as several sets of waves washed up and receded. “I’m sorry, Kylian. For everything that happened, and I think you were and are very brave for telling your story. The man who hurt you needs to be punished, and he needs to never be around children ever again.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw his head turn to look at me. “But I think Mom is right. My friends are going to treat me different.” He hung his head. “Call me bad names.”
Although I’d never gone through an experience like this little boy had survived, I’d had my fair share of vulnerable moments when the press or social media weren’t kind.
When I was sixteen, I’d been dressed in a tight, bright peacock-blue gown that bared my shoulders and arms. Later, I learned I’d been dressed so provocatively because a certain ginger-haired prince would be present, and I was to be tempting to him.
I didn’t know it at the time, though, and had felt uncomfortably exposed. When I’d been allowed to view the social media pages after the event, I’d been horrified to see most of my very limited cleavage bared when I’d leaned over to get out of a car.
The comments had been horrible. Will the ugly duckling princess ever turn into a beautiful swan like her sisters? What is she trying to show… nothing? One creative Twitter user had put my photograph next to that of Cinderella’s stepsister. Princess Birgitta has a doppelganger.
More was said. Worse things were said.
It had been my mother who had comforted me after being alerted that I’d been crying for several hours. Her visit had been a surprise, and she’d sat beside me, letting me lay my head on her lap.
“Sixteen is such a wonderful and horrible age,” she told me, stroking my hair. “It’s when you begin to become intimately acquainted with self-doubt, at a time when it see
ms there’s so much at stake.”
“But Mama,” I’d cried, “if sticks and stones break bones but words don’t hurt you, why does it hurt so much?”
She wrapped my long strands around her finger. “Because that saying is a lie. The same part of your brain that activates when you are physically hurt is activated when you are emotionally hurt as well. So words do hurt, they just don’t leave a bruise.”
I’d turned, looking up at her. “Will it always be like that?”
She smiled down at me. “That depends on you, my darling. Many people are what they call triggered by words or things they see or hear. They run from those triggers, try to hide from them. It’s the worst thing you can do”
“What do you mean?”
She sighed and curled another strand of hair around her finger. “I was assaulted by a guard once.” I gasped but she ignored me, going on. “After that experience, I was afraid of guards. Afraid of men, truth be told. I stopped watching movies that contained violence, I stopped reading books that contained it too. I pretended it didn’t exist… and you know what happened?”
“What?”
“My fear grew. It was my grandmother who noticed, and she told me to read and watch everything I could. To not hide my trigger, but to expose it and let it be pressed so many times it breaks off on its own. It’s like everything in life, dear one. You develop an immunity by being exposed to germs. You learn patience by having your patience tried over and over. And you stop being triggered by building up a tolerance, not by avoiding what hurts you.”
“So, when people say bad things about me…?”
She smiled. “You think of those words as rocks, and you catch them, you collect them. You use them to build your home.”
Another wave came in, this one bigger, coming up to my thighs. It knocked Kylian back a couple steps, and I reached for him, wrapped my arm around his narrow shoulders.
I looked back at the house, afraid of leaving Kenzie there alone, but unwilling to leave this boy either.
Giving him a squeeze, I said, “Let’s go back to the house.”
He frowned. “Why?”
An idea occurred to me, and I grinned. “Because I’ve got some rocks I want to throw at you.”
The expression on his face was priceless.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Xander
It had been a shitty day, made even shittier when I’d gotten the call from Madalyn about Danielle’s surprise visit. I dropped everything and instead of driving back to Montauk, I had Joyce secure the company helicopter. She’d have someone deliver the Porsche later that day.
I’d had to let one of my best vice presidents go because of a sexual harassment claim from two college interns. What the hell was wrong with people? With men? Couldn’t they keep their damn dicks in their pants, especially in today’s social climate?
I thought of Madalyn and my dick twitched. That was different, I reminded myself as the ocean came into view in the distance. I made sure she wasn’t an employee, that she was financially free. I did it right because I didn’t want a cloud to hover over our relationship.
“Ten minutes,” the pilot said into my headset.
I was almost home. To her. Them.
Air began to move in and out of my lungs easier knowing I was close.
What had Danielle been thinking? And where was she now? She hadn’t answered any of my calls or texts. Hopefully, that meant she was on a plane back to California before anyone there discovered she left. It was tempting to call the LA authorities, have them give her a little welcoming party when she rolled up on the tarmac. Very tempting. Especially after what she’d said to Kylian. The bitch.
On the ground, I was given a lift home by one of the employees. The front door was locked so I went around the house, taking off my expensive Italian leather shoes, then rolling off the socks, glad to feel the sand under my feet.
I followed the splashes and the giggles. When I came around the corner, I wasn’t surprised to see Kenzie jumping into the water. But I was surprised to find Madalyn throwing… I blinked, making sure I was seeing things clearly. Yes. Madalyn was throwing rocks at my son.
Well, not officially throwing them. Tossing them was more accurate. She was grabbing the palm-sized rocks from the landscaping and tossing them to Kylian, who was building some kind of pyramid at his feet.
Curious, I moved around the back deck, staying out of sight.
“You should have known better.”
I frowned. That had come from Madalyn.
“You probably liked it.”
That came from Madalyn too.
“Do you like boys now?”
I bristled. What the hell?
Coming around to where I could see more clearly, I watched in horror and astonishment as Madalyn kept tossing out insults as quickly as she tossed rocks. There was a large pile at Kylian’s feet, the pyramid nearly up to his knees.
What had I done?
I’d saved Kylian from Jet only to expose him to some virtual stranger I picked up in a park and…
Kylian laughed, confusing the picture that had been beginning to form in my head.
My frowned deepened. Exposed him to what?
Moving to the stairs, I watched them continue their horrible game. Madalyn was sweating under the warm sun. Kylian was too.
They hadn’t seen me yet, and the woman I cared for way too much was continuing to toss insults at my son.
“You’re a daddy’s boy.”
Kylian laughed, caught the rock, then carefully added it to his pile.
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy, watch!”
Water exploded up as Kenzie cannonballed into the middle of the pool. Kylian whirled while Madalyn just stood there, stone in hand.
“What’s going on here?”
Kylian shrugged. “Maddie’s making sure that words will never hurt me.”
I looked up to the sky, trying to unpuzzle that announcement.
Madalyn tossed the stone in her hand back into the landscaping. “I was… um. I was hoping to help Kylian remove some of the triggers he was experiencing.”
I dropped my three-thousand-dollar shoes to the deck. “By throwing rocks at him?”
“Well, actually, yes. It’s a metaphor, you see, but also a tactile learning experience to help incorporate the lesson into his muscle memory.”
Huh?
I must have looked as confused as I felt because she went on. “After the visit…” her eyes slid to Kylian, who was now sitting next to his pile of rocks, rebuilding his pyramid, “earlier, Kylian and I were discussing how it felt to have people speak badly of you. It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother.” The tip of her nose grew pink. “Then I was also reminded of some things my psychology tut… um, classes discussed. So we made up this game.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry if I did anything wrong.”
Realizing I was still staring at her in astonishment, I closed my mouth, and shrugged out of my jacket before loosening my tie.
Kylian looked up at me. “We’re going to bullfight too.”
I blinked at her. I was no longer upset, more impressed than anything.
Who was this woman, and why was she practically delivered to me exactly when I needed her? We needed her.
But it was also kind of fun to see this normally composed woman fidget. It didn’t happen often. “So, do you plan on slaying my son or just tormenting him ceaselessly with a red cape?” I quipped, forcing my lips to remain in a frown.
“Neither, of course.” She swiped her hands down her thighs and came toward me. “It’s just another metaphor, but this time it’s about not fighting the emotions you feel.” Standing in front of me, she took a deep breath and held up her hands in front of her. “Pretend I’m a painful thought or memory. Or a negative emotion.”
“Ooookay…”
She gave me a work with me please look. “Now press your hands against mine and fight back against me.”
“Do you have any underlying anger manageme
nt problem I need to know about?”
She stamped her foot and yelled, “No!” in pure frustration.
I looked down at her foot. “I think you do.” This time, I couldn’t keep the smile from spreading across my face.
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you teasing me while I’m teaching lessons?”
I laughed. “Maybe.”
She huffed. “Then stop it.” She turned and faced Kylian instead. “Kylian and I shall do this since you can’t be trusted to participate fully.”
To my surprise, my son leapt to his feet. “What am I supposed to do?”
She slid me a narrow-eyed look and held her hands up like she did before. Unlike me, my son automatically pressed his palms to hers. “See how unhard that was?”
I grimaced. “Unhard?”
She rolled her eyes and faced Kylian again. “Now, pretend that I’m a hateful emotion. I’m anger and pain. I’m a bully. I’m hurtful words. I want you to try to push me away.”
As I watched, Kylian did as he was told, pressing his palms harder against hers.
“More. I’m the bad man. I’m the bad friend. I’m laughter. I’m self-doubt.”
Digging in his heels, Kylian began to put his full weight into it. Madalyn’s arms began to shake, but she kept pushing back, kept urging him on.
After another minute of this, they were both sweating, both puffing out breath. Kenzie got out of the pool and sat down on a chair to watch.
Finally, Madalyn eased up and dropped her arms, shaking them out.
“That’s hard, isn’t it? Mentally and physically exhausting to fight your emotions all the time. Fight against people and the things they say.”
Kylian shook out his arms too. “Yeah.”
Madalyn began to sway, and I didn’t even question what she was doing. I just watched, listened. Admired the obvious connection she was building with the boy.
“Have you ever watched a bullfight?”
Kylian shrugged. “Only a little, like in cartoons.”
“Now, I do not support the cruel sport of bullfighting in the least. What I found interesting about it, though, was how the matador was able to dodge the charging beast that was so very angry and so much bigger with very little body movement.”
