by Alice Ward
“How will I know who I’ll be happy with if I don’t try on a few guys first?”
That actually was a very good question… if it was coming from anyone other than my sister.
“Just be careful.”
She smiled, the happiness returning to her face. “I will be. And it’s fun to flirt. Fun to have choices.”
Choices.
I couldn’t even imagine it.
“I think it’s wonderful,” I said after taking a deep breath. “I’m happy for you, and I want you to have fun. And you can always talk to me about this kind of stuff, you know?”
She rolled her eyes. “What do you know about dating?”
Okay… that really hurt.
And it really was true.
I lifted my chin, still stroking the khakis. “I’m going out with Nash Saturday night, remember?”
Her face brightened. “Yeah. And I think Grant likes you too.”
Something deep in my stomach twisted, stirring to life. “You do?”
She nodded vigorously. “You should see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking.”
I might not have seen it, but I could feel it. I pressed my hand to my belly. I could feel it now.
“Well, Grant hasn’t asked me out. Nash did. And we’re going out Saturday night.”
Jasmine’s face turned dreamy. “He’s really cute.”
I remembered his blue eyes, the way he so openly looked at me. His friendly, open smile and expressions. My stomach twisted again. Low and deep inside me. God, my libido was turning into a slut.
“Yeah. He really is. And he seems like he’s a lot of fun.”
Jaz’s face fell. “I can’t believe I won’t be home for you to tell me everything.”
I lifted a brow. “The way you’ve been telling me everything?”
She had the grace to blush. “Don’t be mad. There’s just some things that I want to keep to myself. It’s like hugging a pretend teddy bear.”
I got it.
And I decided I needed to relax about it. After this last thing…
“Do we need to buy condoms for your trip?” I was proud of how steady my voice was. “Just in case?”
She met my eyes, and that grin that lifted my spirits spread over her face. “I don’t know. I think there’s a big difference between wanting to do something and actually doing something.”
She was so damn smart. She might not be a math wizard, but Jasmine Walker had more emotional intelligence than most. And, in my opinion, that was the smarts that mattered.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I thought about my own fumbling attempts at sex. How the hormones had overtaken the brain each time, even if the actual experienced hadn’t measured up to my fantasies.
“Well, let me know before you get on that bus tomorrow, okay?” Laying down my clothes, I sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand in mine. “It’s hard for me to see you so grown up, and there will be times when I forget you’re an adult. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t one, so just be patient with me. Okay?”
She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You’re the best big sister ever.”
I began blinking again, but this time to remove the moisture gathering in my eyes. “You’re the best little sister ever.”
“Journey…?”
“Yes.”
“You need to hurry. You’re going to be late.”
Startled, I jumped to my feet and grabbed my clothes again. “Yes. I’ll be quick.”
Stepping into the bathroom, I turned on the water to warm, then examined my reflection in the mirror. My hair tended to be on the dry side so I didn’t wash it every day. It would be okay in its normal ponytail. I had the senior center at eight, then home health visits that afternoon. My last appointment was at four, so I should have plenty of time to pick up Jaz and meet Grant back here at the hotel by five. He told me he’d help us get our things moved back in after the “big reveal.”
Grant.
I sighed just thinking his name. Grant Sommerfield was one of the reasons I was so tired and out of sorts. I enjoyed his company. After the night at the pool, he’d stopped by each evening to “check on us,” only staying a few minutes after that first night. He’d never done or said anything inappropriate, never treated us as anything other than charges he’d taken under his wing.
Still…
The way he looked at me. The way I felt when my eyes met his.
He’d taken up residence in my dreams last night, taking on the roles of everything from the white knight striding in on his gallant stallion to looking like the big bad wolf about to blow down our doors.
He was both. The very epitome of good and bad. Right and wrong. Lethal and lifesaving.
And I wasn’t even sure why.
Maybe it was the distant, dangerous vibe that came off him in waves. Maybe it was the way people automatically stood taller around him, called him “sir.” Maybe it was because he was so very clearly out of my league, it made me want to step out of the box I’d put myself in for so long. Take just a little taste of a life so far above mine. Eat more of the steak he’d insisted I enjoy Tuesday night when I was so used to ham and cheese sandwiches.
No, he might look at me like Jasmine said he did, but he’d never acted like anything but the benevolent benefactor in my presence. We were charity, I reminded myself. After this evening, I’d probably never see him again.
The knowledge made me sad.
My phone pinged, and I picked it up, grateful that technology had interrupted my thoughts.
Oh my.
It was a message from Nash. Still plan on being Wicked? Where do I pick you up tomorrow night?
I licked my lips, and a tiny surge of guilt swept through me. Why, I didn’t know.
Because I was attracted to two men? There wasn’t anything wrong with that. Was there?
No. Not at all. Besides, I was just overthinking everything, just like I usually did.
Taking a deep breath, I typed out my address, and added, I’m looking forward to it.
It.
So many possibilities in that little word.
It could mean the show, which I absolutely was looking forward to.
It could mean the after. A kiss. A touch. More?
Setting my phone down, I yanked off my pajamas and jumped in the shower, soaping a washcloth with the hotel soap that smelled of lavender and vanilla.
Washing my neck, I imagined Nash kissing me there, his teeth nipping at my skin.
My nipples hardened, and I ran the cloth over their points, closing my eyes. I imagined a mouth closing over one of the peaks. But it was Grant’s mouth pleasuring me this time.
Nash was behind me, pulling my head back by my hair, turning my head until our mouths connected.
Grant sinking to his knees, kissing my stomach, then lower. His teeth gliding over my hipbone.
Nash’s hand coming around to cup my breasts, squeezing them hard enough to almost hurt.
Grant’s tongue between my legs, causing a fire to begin to burn as he sucked my clitoris into his mouth.
Nash closing his hand over mine, moving it until my palm wrapped around his cock, the tip already slippery with pre-cum. His tongue stroking mine as I pleasured him with my hand.
Grant’s fingers sliding inside me, filling me with their length while his tongue circled my clit.
Nash’s hands moving down to my ass, cupping my cheeks, spreading them wide. His finger—
Knock. Knock. Knock.
My eyes popped open, my heart pounding in surprise.
“Journey! You need to hurry!”
One hand was between my legs, the other on my breast. I yanked them away. “Coming!”
I really needed to pull myself together.
On triple time now, I rinsed off before breaking the world record toweling off and getting dressed. A ponytail later, I was tossing everything in our bags and called it done. Hauling my pack on my back, I grabbed our suitcases and turned to Jaz.
She looked so pretty.
Her eyeshadow was a little bright, but it was springtime and it made me smile. “You look beautiful,” I told her, taking in her khaki shorts and green t-shirt.
She practically glowed with her smile. “Think Jesse and Kyle will like it?”
My heart squeezed. “They’d be nuts if they didn’t.”
She hauled her bag onto her back, picking her bike helmet up off the dresser. “Let’s go have an awesome day.”
We hooked arms and marched from the room. “Yes. Let’s.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Nash
“Mom, hi! Is everything okay? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you and Dad until tomorrow at the earliest.”
Okay, so I was sounding like a parent to my parent, but the moment Mom’s number flashed on my phone, I’d been concerned. It was their thirty-fourth anniversary trip — a dream safari in Africa. Before they left, Mom told me that she and Dad were stowing their phones away for the entire week and not to expect a call until the weekend.
Had something bad happened?
Mom just laughed. “Oh, Nash, honey. You’ll make a terrific father someday, worrywart.”
I heaved out a breath, then was slightly offended. “Can’t a son worry about his parents without being labeled?”
She laughed again, a full-on laugh that turned people’s heads wherever she went. A laugh that could only belong to one person… Luna Kline Levington. “Do I need to come on over there and pull your hiney outta that safe space?”
I rolled my eyes. She was a mess. “Seriously, everything okay? Dad didn’t get eaten by a lion or anything, did he?”
That laugh again. “I’m the only one takin’ a bite out of your daddy. I just missed ya, sweetheart. Wanted to hear your voice, so I snuck out of the tent and called.”
I scratched my chin. “Did you listen to your voicemail?”
“Nah, but I saw where ya done called and all, so I hoped my sweet boy might be awake. Everythin’ all right, honey?”
She sounded so happy, I didn’t want to screw that up with news about my run-in with my grandfather. Luckily, I hadn’t been so pissed on Tuesday that I’d spilled the whole story on her voicemail. “Yeah. It’s all good. Just wanting to make sure all is well on your side of the world.”
“Mmm… Nash, baby, what aren’t ya tellin’ me?”
Mothers. How in the hell did they know everything?
“Seriously, it’s all good. We’ll talk when you get back.”
“Nash, baby. I—”
“I met someone,” I blurted, knowing it might just about be the only thing that could draw her attention from her current course of questioning.
“You did? Well, then, sweetheart, tell me everythin’. Every single detail. Well, except those details.” That laugh again, as big as the universe.
“Actually, there’s not much to tell except that I met her while I was running at the park. She was chasing down a purse thief, and I helped her tackle him.”
“You got to be kiddin’ me? Is she a cop? Was she ridin’ one of those Central Park horses? That’s really special because—”
It was my turn to laugh. “No, she’s a yoga instructor. Some—”
“Well, now that makes a lot more sense.”
I ignored her. “Anyway, she was teaching a class and some idiot knocked down an old woman and stole her purse. Journey took out after him—”
“Journey? I like that name. Is it a family name? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that before. What’s her last name? Is she from around here or—”
“Mom! I barely know her.”
Slapping a hand over my eyes, I leaned my head back on the chair. Women and their questions. And my mother was the worst. If she didn’t have such a pure voice, she should’ve been an FBI interrogator. People would confess just to shut her up.
“Sorry, honey. It’s just excitin’ that you met someone you like enough to tell your mama about. I usually learn about ‘em in the tabloids.”
She wasn’t wrong.
“This one is different. Special. And I’ve already got everything arranged. We’ll go into the theater through the back, away from any press that might be hanging outside. I’ve got backstage passes so she can meet the cast and—”
“Cast of what?”
“Wicked.”
“Brrr. Winged monkeys and me don’t mix. Did I ever tell ya that I had nightmares as a little girl about those things? I’m telling ya, I was expectin’ a yellow brick road, not angry flyin’ apes. And that witch! She—”
I laughed. “Mom, can I talk please?”
I pulled the phone away from my ear to save it from exploding from the giggle that followed. “Of course. Sorry, baby doll. I just get excited, ya know.”
That was one of the things I loved about her so much. Her pure joy about everything in the world. Mom was a lemons-into-lemonade kind of woman, even if you couldn’t always tell from her achy-breaky song lyrics.
“Anyway, I’m going to be careful with the press because I don’t want to scare her away the first night.”
“That’s usin’ your head. Whatcha plannin’ on doin’ after Wicked? Now, if you like this girl, you don’t need to be wicked with her on the first night either, if you know what I mean.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Half of Africa knows what you mean right now, Mom.”
She guffawed, loud enough that the other half heard her too. “But I’m serious. Be a gentleman if you like her. Are you takin’ her to dinner? Dancin’? Are ya gonna ask her out again?”
“Mom! It’s the first date. To keep everything on the downlo, I was going to have Grant’s chef whip us up—”
“Grant? You’re plannin’ on takin’ your date to Grant’s place?”
Um. Shit.
“Well, it’s kinda my place too for a while.”
There was at least three seconds of blessed silence. Then, “Why in the heck are you stayin’ there?”
“It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you all about it when you get back.”
Another bout of silence, five seconds at least. “Was there a fire at your place?”
She wasn’t going to let this go. “No.”
“Did another girl claim squatter’s rights? I swear, I’ll kick her butt. You didn’t do nothin’ so stupid like write her a check like Grant does, did you? I swear, that boy—”
I laughed, pressing the heel of my hand in my eye. “No. Nothing like that.”
“Then what? Tell me. You know it’ll drive me plumb crazy if you don’t ease my mind.”
She was right. And I really did want to talk to her about the big blowup. It had been weighing heavily on my mind. “Just a fight with Grandfather. He wants me to live my life his way. I refused. He kicked me out.” That was nutshell enough.
Mom growled. “That highfalutin asshole. I hope ya went ahead and gave him a good swift kick in his gold-plated ass before you left.” She growled again. “That man. He—”
“Did you have a thing with Granddad before you met Dad?”
There, I said it. The question that had been weighing on my mind all week.
She hooted, making me pull the phone away again. But this time, I thought the laughter sounded forced. “Did he say that, the old coot?”
“No, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he hates you so much.”
The laughter didn’t just die down, it disappeared. “Well, honey. To answer your question. We didn’t have a fling but it wasn’t from the damn bastard’s lack of tryin’.”
I knew it!
“Did he hurt you?”
More silence.
“Mom?”
She sighed, a long exhale that went on for a long time. “Not like I think you’re thinkin’. Not physically. Let’s just say he’s been threatenin’ people for a long time.”
Anger churned in my stomach.
“Mom, he said he’d take both mine and Dad’s inheritance if I didn’t marry this woman he’s selected. When I told him no, he k
icked me out. So my decision doesn’t just affect me. It affects Dad too. I need to tell him.”
She snorted. “Honey, you don’t worry your sweet head about it. Your daddy and me will get along just fine if that ornery old coot cuts us all off. Your daddy is a smart man, and he’s been plannin’ for something like this for years.”
The vice around my gut loosened a little. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. And even if he hadn’t, I think I can float us for a day or two.”
I smiled. Mom’s net worth on her own was just a little under half a billion dollars, and she still pulled in over ten million dollars in royalties every single year without lifting a finger.
“I know you can. I just hate that my actions affect you both, especially Dad. He doesn’t deserve to be punished because of me.”
“Honey, I just hate that you have an asshole for a grandfather. You deserve better than that.”
“Thanks for not letting me grow up like him.”
She hooted. “I’d be spankin’ your bottom all across Tennessee if you acted like that for a single minute. So, you stayin’ with Grant until when?”
I looked around the living area of the second-floor guest suite in Grant’s apartment. It was larger than most people’s homes. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, you could come back to Nashville if you want.” I could hear the hope in her voice.
“That sounds good too. I’m actually not sure what I want to do next.”
“Get married and have babies? To the woman of your choice, of course.”
I groaned. “I don’t think so. I’m thinking of traveling some. Maybe do some camping. Like I said, I’m not sure.”
“Well, I’ll shut up about marriage and babies then, even though you know what it’d mean to me to have a grandbaby to spoil.”
I had nothing to respond with to that. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t one day want kids. Maybe a few of them. I would want my child to have siblings, unlike me. Of course, it wasn’t from lack of trying on my parents’ part. Six miscarriages, and I was the only one to make it all the way. I’d almost been named Vandy for Vanderbilt Hospital, the place of my “glorious arrival,” as Mom called it. Thankfully, I became Nash, but there were no arrivals after me. Didn’t get a brother until twenty years later when I met Grant.
