by Ivy Smoak
I could see his body tense. I expected him to start talking right away, but he didn't begin explaining his side. He just stared at me, waiting for me to explain. Which gave me a terrible unsettling feeling. He didn't know what I was even referring to. He had more than one horrible secret. I probably hadn't even scratched the surface.
"The fact that you don't even know what I'm referring to is disgusting," I said. I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.
He stepped toward me and put his hand on my arm again. "Penny, let's go to my office to talk about this."
"I'm not going anywhere with you." I took another step away from him.
"Whatever you think you know, you couldn't possibly understand. Just give me a chance to explain."
Why do I have an urge to console him right now? The hurt in his eyes was weighing on me. "No, I think I do understand. And I'm sorry that I let anything happen between us."
"Don't say that, Penny." He was getting mad. I didn't want to fight with him. And if cheating on his wife wasn't his only secret than I didn't want to be anywhere near him.
"You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me. You're not at all who I thought you were. Don't text me, Professor Hunter." I turned briskly and walked out of the room.
"Penny!"
As soon as I left the room I let the tears stream down my cheeks. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't even admit it. And what other horrible secrets was he hiding? I kept walking so that he couldn't come after me.
Chapter 39
Wednesday
"Hey, Penny," Tyler said. He was all smiles.
I took a deep breath and smiled back at him. It felt so good to smile. We walked into the restaurant together and the hostess showed us to a booth. I sat down across from Tyler. He was looking at me curiously.
"Are you okay, Penny?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." I looked down at the table and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I was suddenly nervous to be around him. "So have you figured out what you're going to talk about in your next speech?"
"You know what, I think I have. But you'll have to wait and hear about it in class."
I laughed. "Why? Is it something that's going to embarrass me again?"
"You're so conceited. My speech has nothing to do with you. Geez, I do that one time and set a precedent." He laughed. "At the same time though, you get pretty easily embarrassed, so it's hard to tell."
I rolled my eyes at him. "So I really can't know? I don't get a special advanced screening of your speech?"
"No, it's a secret."
I bit my lip. Secrets.
Our waiter came over and Tyler ordered a cheese pizza for us. When he left, Tyler was staring at me again.
"Melissa's super excited about the Sigma Pi formal," I said as casually as I could muster. "It sounds like a lot of fun."
"Oh, did Josh ask her?"
"Yes." I waited a minute. I thought he might ask me, but he stayed silent.
"You look different," he finally said.
"How so?" Sad maybe? Upset? Emotionally drained?
"Tan," Tyler said and smiled. "What, did you go to the beach or something?"
I burst out crying. I wasn't sure if it was the reminder of my date with Professor Hunter, being rejected by Tyler, or just being with someone I felt so comfortable with. But I sat there crying in the middle of the restaurant.
"Penny?"
A moment later I felt his arms around me. He pulled me to his chest and rubbed my back. Why was I crying about Professor Hunter? Screw him! I took a few deep breaths to stop my tears from falling.
"I'm sorry, Penny," Tyler whispered. "You don't look tan at all, I swear."
I couldn't help but laugh. I felt so comfortable in Tyler's arms. Everything I had wanted had actually been right in front of me the whole time. I tilted my head back slightly. He was looking down at me, concern etched across his face. I didn't want him to be concerned for me. I wanted him to want me. I leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. He hesitated for a second and then kissed me back. All that waiting. All that pent up passion. He pushed my back against the side of the booth and leaned into me. I felt a warm heat course through my body as his kisses became more fierce. He did still like me. This felt so right. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him even closer to me.
But almost as quickly as it started, Tyler pulled away. "Shit, Penny." He stood up and rubbed his hand through his hair.
"I'm sorry, Tyler. I was wrong before. I don't want to be just friends."
"Why now?" He was looking everywhere but at me.
Why was he so upset? Isn't this what he wanted? "Because I'm slow."
He laughed, but it sounded forced. "Penny, I did what you wanted. I just started seeing someone."
I stared up at him. "Oh God." I cursed under my breath. "Tyler, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm going to go." I got to my feet.
"Penny, we haven't even eaten yet."
"I'm not hungry. I'm sorry, Tyler. Please just pretend this never happened." I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and fled the restaurant.
***
I had made two men cheat in the course of one week. I flopped down onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. What the hell is wrong with me?! I sat up and pulled my laptop onto my bed. I had been putting it off ever since I had found Professor Hunter's wedding ring. But I needed to know the truth. I turned on my computer and clicked on the internet icon. He wasn't on Facebook, but certainly I could find him online.
I typed "James Hunter" into Google. I held my breath as I clicked on the images button. And there he was, smiling back at me from my screen. No, there they were. I clicked on an image with him and a woman. She was gorgeous. She had straight, shoulder length brunette hair that was perfectly smooth. Her eyes were un-proportionately big on her face, like a Disney princess. Her skin was tan and I had never seen someone so skinny with such big breasts. Maybe they were fake. I looked at the caption. James and Isabella Hunter at the 50th New York Film Festival. Professor Hunter's arm was wrapped around her waist and he was smiling at the camera. Isabella was looking off to the side, laughing at something. They looked so happy. Were they still this happy?
Not anymore. Because of me. I went back to the web tab and typed in "James and Isabella Hunter." An article came up describing their philanthropy. Another picture of them smiling was plastered to the top of the article. They were somewhere in Africa, surrounded by scantily clad children. In another article they were volunteering together at an animal shelter in Brooklyn.
I searched through dozens more articles with the two of them. I stumbled upon a picture from the end of last year, from something called The Tech Awards Gala. Professor Hunter had apparently won some award for technology benefiting humanity. It had to have been around the time that he had moved here. Professor Hunter was smiling, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. It was the same way he had looked at me earlier today. Like he was haunted by some secret. Isabella was smiling for the camera, but she didn't really look happy.
What was I doing? I had no place analyzing their relationship. It doesn't matter now. It was over. It's over. It was time to stop stalking them. It was out of my hands. I clicked out of the browser and opened up my email. There was only one message waiting in my inbox and it was from Professor Hunter. I shouldn't even look at it. I bit my lip. Looking at it wouldn't hurt. I just needed to make sure I didn't respond. I needed to ice him out. I opened up the email.
Subject: Our discussion isn't over
Penny,
I wish you wouldn't always feel so compelled to argue with me. I told you that I have done some things in my past that I regret. I am not withholding information from you to be spiteful. I'm doing it to protect you. If you will allow me to come talk to you, I can explain.
-James
Seriously? Trying to protect me? That jackass. My anger flared up, stronger than ever. But there was hurt there too. It felt like my chest was being crushed with a ton of brick
s.
"So I heard about what happened with Tyler. Did you want to talk about it?" Melissa asked.
I hadn't even heard her come into the room. I was too busy fuming over Professor Hunter's email. I was still mortified about what had happened with Tyler. "No."
"Are you sure?"
"Melissa, why didn't you tell me he was dating someone?"
Melissa laughed. "You told me you two were just friends so I figured he already talked to you about it. And since you two are just friends, I figured it didn't matter to you either way. Plus you were upset about James."
"But you let me kiss him!"
"Whoa! You cannot blame this one on me, Penny."
"I'm sorry, I know. Melissa, it was so embarrassing." I put my face in my hands.
"I know." She jumped onto my bed and put her arm around me.
"How do you even know about it? Was he making fun of me?" I could feel myself blushing. A whole frat was probably laughing right now at my expense.
"No, Penny, not at all. He came back to the frat house all upset and Josh went to talk to him. I just happened to eavesdrop on the conversation."
I laughed. "So what did you find out?"
"That you assaulted him at Grottos."
"That's not true!"
Melissa laughed. "I know. I'm just kidding. He said that he had invited you to lunch to tell you he had taken your advice and had started dating some girl. But then you had a meltdown and when he went to comfort you, you started making out with him.
"He kissed me back. This isn't all on me." I had to defend myself. Tyler wanted that kiss as much as I did.
"Of course he did. He's crazy about you."
"Well it's over now. I'm completely mortified."
"But you ran out on him before he could talk to you about it. He just asked a girl to the Sigma Pi formal. They aren't serious yet. Or exclusive."
"But still, I don't want to be the other woman. And I never meant to put Tyler in an awkward situation."
"You're completely overreacting, Penny. It's not like he's married or something. It's not a big deal at all."
I felt like I was going to throw up. Professor Hunter was married. And that was a big deal. It was a huge deal. Everything was so messed up.
Melissa hugged me. "Really, Penny, don't even worry about it. It will all blow over. Unless you don't want it to. If you really like Tyler, I don't think it's too late to tell him. Besides, dating someone closer to your own age would be a lot easier."
"I'm just so confused." I put my head back in my hands.
Melissa rubbed my back. "Have you still not talked to James yet?
"I tried. It's hard. I'm just so mad at him."
"Well no matter what you decide, you need to figure out where you stand with James if you want to start dating Tyler."
"I know." I took a deep breath. "I'll try talking to him again."
Chapter 40
Friday
"Hey, Penny," Tyler said as he sat down next to me.
My face was already crimson. I didn't want to have this conversation. "Hey," I said, but continued to look down at my desk.
"What, was the kiss that bad?" Tyler asked.
"Tyler." I put my face in my hands. My stomach was in knots.
"Penny, look at me."
I moved my hands and looked up at him. He was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. The blue from his shirt made his eyes pop. Why was I so attracted to guys that were unavailable? "Tyler, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you had a girlfriend. I'm so, so sorry."
Tyler laughed. "I don't have a girlfriend. I only just started seeing her."
"Are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?"
"I don't know. That depends on a lot of things. I do like her. And I thought that it was what you wanted. You're very confusing, Penny."
So Melissa was right. They weren't serious yet. "Is it Claire?"
"Claire?"
"The girl who you talked to in the dining hall on steak sandwich day. You know...the well-endowed blonde girl."
Tyler laughed again. "No, not Claire. Her name is Natalie."
I was so confused about everything, but I knew that I was jealous. "You kissed me back."
Tyler smiled. "I can't seem to resist you. Even though you've turned me down about a million times."
"So you aren't mad that I kissed you?"
"Mad?" Tyler laughed. "I'd only been waiting a whole month for a second kiss."
I started laughing, but quickly stopped when Professor Hunter walked in. He was his usual sexy self, but he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted. There was stubble on his face. The tie around his neck was a little loose, which gave him a slightly disheveled look. He was in pain. The same pain that I was. But how could I feel sorry for him when he had caused our problems? For some reason all I wanted was to go up to the front of the classroom and hug him, though. I wanted to comfort him. What is wrong with me?
I grabbed my paper and pen and shoved them into my backpack. I couldn't stand to see Professor Hunter this way. And I didn't want to do something that I was going to regret.
"Tyler, I'm actually not feeling very well. Can you take notes for me?"
"Penny?" he hissed, but I was already pushing through the door.
***
I was furious at myself for missing Professor Hunter. I drummed my fingers on my desk. Maybe Melissa was right and I should try talking to him again. It was possible that there was something I didn't understand. Hearing his side of the story, if anything, might give me closure. No. He was the one that should be apologizing. But he didn't even know what he needed to apologize for. He had too many secrets.
My phone buzzed. It was probably Professor Hunter. Was he finally ready to tell me he was married? I picked up my phone and slid my finger across the screen. It was a text from Tyler.
"Hey, I have the notes from class. Come let me in."
I smiled to myself. Here was a guy who had stopped kissing me in order to fully disclose the fact that he was seeing someone else, even though they weren't exclusive. And Professor Hunter didn't even have the balls to tell me he was married. Fuck him. I jumped off my bed and went to go let Tyler in.
Tyler was standing there with a smile on his face. He was so cute. "Hey, Penny."
"Hi, Tyler." I pushed the door open farther so he could walk in. We went up the stairs to my floor.
"Are you feeling better?" Tyler asked as we walked down the hallway.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You always seem to come to my rescue."
Tyler shrugged. "That's what friends do. Just for the record, it's also what people who are more than friends do."
"More than friends, huh? Is that where you think we are?"
Tyler opened up my door and closed it behind us. As soon as the door shut, he put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me into him. His face was only a few inches from mine. "You tell me."
My heart was racing. His breath smelled minty. He was handsome, funny, and honest. This is what I need. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He immediately kissed me back, more passionately than he had at Grottos. I reached up and grabbed his hair, pulling him closer, kissing him deeply. He took a step forward and pushed my back against my bureau, pinning me in place. His hands moved to my waist. I could feel his erection pressed against me. He wasn't just what I needed, he was what I wanted.
I lifted one of my legs and wrapped it around him. He quickly grabbed my ass and lifted me up so I could wrap my other leg behind him. He pressed himself harder against me.
I moaned softly. He pressed his erection against me again. "Tyler," I panted and wrapped my arms securely around his neck.
He grabbed my ass tighter and carried me over to my bed. He placed me down on the edge of it and spread my thighs even wider as he leaned into me. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up his torso, revealing his abs. I swallowed hard. He quickly pulled his shirt the rest of the way off and tossed it on the ground. I let my hands slide down his muscles
to the waistline of his jeans. I unbuttoned and unzipped them. He grabbed my hands. My heart was racing.
"Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want you to knee me in my junk again." He smiled down at me.
"Yes. I want you." My mind was confused, but my body wasn't.
He leaned over and kissed me again. His hands pushed my shirt up and over my head. He unhooked my bra and slowly pulled it down my arms. "Penny," he groaned. He leaned in and kissed me again, letting his hands wander to my breasts. I tilted my hips up to him and he pressed his erection against me again.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this," he whispered in my ear.
"Me too." I grabbed the sides of his jeans and started to pull them down.
"Have you talked to James yet?" Melissa said as she opened the door. She placed her keys on her bureau without looking over at us.
Crap!
"Who is James?" Tyler asked.
Melissa's head snapped toward us. "Oh my God!" She was staring at Tyler's abs. I had already begun pulling my shirt back on, but Tyler had only zipped and buttoned his pants. I tucked my bra underneath my comforter.
"I can come back later," Melissa said, but didn't turn around.
"Please," I said, my face turning bright red.
"Wait," Tyler said. "Who is James?"
Oh my God.
I shook my head back and forth at Melissa and she just stared back at us. "He doesn't know about James," I mouthed to her as best as I could.
"James is...my dad," Melissa said slowly.
"You call your dad James?" Tyler asked.
"Always have." Melissa shrugged her shoulders. "He's just very businesslike. But that doesn't mean he's not a good father, because he is. He's great."
Tyler stared back at her. "So why is Penny talking to your dad?"
"Well," Melissa paused but only for a moment. "He's planning a joint birthday party for us and he needs Penny's invitation list."
Tyler looked at me. It didn't look like he believed a word that Melissa had said. And he shouldn't have. Lies on top of lies. "So, have I made the list?"
