'You travel in this? he asked cautiously.
Justine clicked her fingers as she told the smartcore to extrude a couple of chairs.
'Ah! Kazimir watched them rise up, happy again. She switched on a holographic projection, displaying status graphics in the air in front of him.
Seventeen is such an easy age, she thought with a pang of resentment at his fascination. 'I'd like to run some scans on you, she said. 'It might help me understand more about this place.
'Of course.
She used her biononic field function to examine him in detail, shunting the results into the smartcore. He was human, every organ where it should be. When she touched a sampler module to his skin he smiled at her again, emitting a strong sense of longing, of willingness.
Out of those two days an awful lot of the time had been spent in bed making love.
She raised an eyebrow in surprise as the sequencing results rose up into the holographic display. 'Your DNA is… Real? Proper? Fully human? 'Okay, she concluded. And how did the Void pull that stunt?
'I'm glad, he said simply.
The smartcore ran a comparison against a medical file she carried: her son's DNA. This Kazimir didn't share any genetic markers with the man whose child she'd borne twelve hundred years ago. She didn't know if she was disappointed by that or not. So it's not omnipotent, then.
'Shall we see if the culinary unit is working? she asked.
* * * * *
She didn't really have to ask what he wanted. Cheeseburger with bacon, fries, sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. Chocolates and champagne. All part of the decadent life she'd corrupted him with first time round.
The culinary unit managed to produce them, though she thought some of the tastes were a bit strange.
It was all strange and good to Kazimir's palate, he wolfed the lot down.
'Have you seen anyone else here? she asked as she sipped her own champagne.
'I thought you said I didn't exist before today, he said, only half teasing.
'I don't know how long you've been here, actually. It took the Void four years to create this world. I think.
He sat back in the chair and thought hard. 'I have memories, or notions of my life before today. That life I had back with my clan isn't real, I see that now, nothing about that time is substantial. It is a notion of what should have been. And yet I remember setting out on my groundwalk a couple of weeks ago.
I'm sure the last few days were real. Today is. Today has you in it. I remember waking and enjoying the clear sky.
'So you didn't see anyone on your groundwalk?
'No. But the idea of the groundwalk is to be on your own.
'Of course.
He shivered, looking round the cabin again. Apprehension was creeping into his thoughts. 'I am nothing. I am a toy some alien has built to amuse you. What kind of being has such power?
'Hey, she said soothingly. 'You're certainly not nothing. You're you. It doesn't matter why you are, only that you're here now. Life is to be lived, I told you that the first time we met.
Kazimir sniffed suspiciously. 'Did I believe you?
'You took some convincing. You were just as stubborn then.
That seemed to satisfy him.
'What are you going to do now? he asked.
'I'm not sure. I came here to try and talk to the nucleus. That's looking quite difficult now. It thinks I want to be here with you instead. She reviewed the Silverbird's status again. None of the drives were operational, and the smartcore didn't know why. The generator was producing some power, enough to maintain basic life support. A majority of cabin functions were running, though she wasn't sure she'd want to use the medical cabinet. What vexed her most was the reason for the failures and glitches. There wasn't one.
Willpower, she thought, that's the governing factor in this universe. The power of mind over matter. Thoughts can affect reality. So the Void doesn't want the Silverbird to fly. It's as simple as that.
'And you don't want to be here with me? he asked.
'It's enjoyable, she told him. 'But it's not why I'm here. His face was so crestfallen she immediately felt guilty. 'Kazimir, I apologise, but there is an awful lot at stake. More than I expect you to believe. I have to do whatever I can to help.
'I understand, he said gravely. 'It is an honourable thing that
you do. My mind may be false, but I believe in honour. It is a universal truth.
'You're very sweet, she said. 'I remembered that part of you perfectly. She yawned. 'I'm going to try and get some rest, it's been a long stressful flight and that champagne has gone straight to my head.
'I will keep watch outside, he announced gravely. 'If this is a whole real planet there might be something hostile out there.
'Thank you. Damn, my memory's a dangerous thing. The cabin extended a large bed as Justine stripped off the one-piece suit; then the replicator produced a thin duvet. It had peculiar hard lumps in it, but she shrugged and pulled it up anyway. She fell asleep straight away.
And dreamed. Dreamed of her own bed in her own home, where she was warm and safe and life was comfortable.
Someone pulled the drapes back, and sunlight streamed in through the tall windows. Justine yawned and stretched. It was cosy under the duvet.
'Hello, darling.
'Dad, she said drowsily, and smiled at the gold-face looming above her. 'Is it time to get up?
'It's time you and I had a talk.
Full awareness hit her like a plunge into ice water. Justine yelped and sat up straight. It was her room in the Tulip mansion, the one she'd spent her adolescence in, therefore ridiculously purple and black as she merrily ploughed her way through her retro-Goth phase mainly to annoy her parents. Her T-shirt and baggy flannel pyjama trousers were black cotton. Toe- and fingernails were black, with embossed blood gems. She looked at them, mortified by the fashion. Fingers heavy with silver skull rings hurriedly pulled a string of hair in front of her face to check: yes, black.
'Jesus, she muttered.
'You always looked cute no matter how bad the fashion, Core said. He was standing at the foot of the bed, arms folded as he leaned against the post. (Four-poster with black gauze drapes — of course.) His handsome gold face grinned down.
'What? I… Am… Is this the Void?
'You're still in the Void, Gore said. 'I'm back in the Commonwealth thinking up cosy environments to amplify our rapport. And there's nothing cosier than a childhood room.
'Rapport?
'I'm hugely embarrassed to say I've become the Third Dreamer. And guess whose life in the Void I'm dreaming.
'Oh shit.
Gore produced an evil grin. 'Could be worse, you could have slept with him. And I'd be the one relaying it into the gaiafield.
'Shit!
'That nobility of yours will get you into real trouble one day.
Justine stood up carefully. 'What's been happening out there? Did the Pilgrimage make it through?
'You mean in the four days you've been inside?
'Four days? she asked incredulously.
'Coming up on five.
'But it's been…
'Four years. Including the interlude with the Skylord.
'You got that part?
'Oh yes. That little shit Ethan is making a lot of capital out of its refusal to take you to the nucleus. A real big boost to the cause. The Clerics from his jumped up Council have been all over the Unisphere ever since, ranting about destiny. It's almost enough to counter the fuck-up they've made on Viotia.
'Viotia? she asked in a daze.
'They're turning the planet upside down looking for the Second Dreamer. Don't worry about it. We've got to concentrate on your problem.
'Kazimir?
'In a manner of speaking. Damn, I never realized you were still so fixated. You really ballsed that one up, didn't you?
'What do you mean?
'So far all Living Dream has been promising is the chance to put your life straight, just l
ike their precious Waterwalker did every time he made his many mistakes. Screwed up again? Never mind. Bang, he thinks back to the moment he went wrong and rearranges the whole Void to that instant. That's what sold it to them, all the sheep bleating to be taken on the Pilgrimage fleet.
'I know, time travel is everyone's wish fulfilment made true. Going back to correct your life's blunders is the ultimate fantasy.
'Time travel is pure bullshit, impossible; nobody can defeat causality or entropy. All the Void does is press the reset button. That's what that goddamn memory layer is, a template of every instant inside there. And how does it fucking power that?
'Dad.
'Every planet, every person, every Skylord, every star has to have its entropy reversed to the point in time Edeard fancied going back to. Every star! Every single atom in every star in the Void has to have its energy level pumped back up so he can begin again. Dear God, what arrogance. And where does it get the energy from to do that? From us. From eating our galaxy. That's what feeds the reset. Mass to energy, good old E equals MC squared.
'Dad, calm down, you're ranting to the converted.
'Oh am I? If they were converted, the stupid dumb shits wouldn't be going on their Pilgrimage, would they? Sometimes I think the Ocisens are quite right, they should just wipe us out because any species thick enough to produce a Living Dream doesn't deserve to live.
'Dad! she said, shocked.
'Yeah yeah. He grinned round savagely. 'You like this dream, Ethan? You like what's coming at you from the Void now? Or is this too much truth for you? Because it's not just going to be your dumbass Waterwalker skipping back through his life any more, is it? I could just about live with him being the saviour of a bunch of shipwrecked medieval cretins. But that was never enough for you, was it? You are so fucking stupid you want to take everyone in there. Millions of you resetting your lives every time you get a drop of shampoo in your fucking eye. Are you so fucking pitifully weak you can't face living your life properly? Learn from your mistake and move on. That's what makes you human. Not condemning the rest of us to extinction because of your personal goddamn failure of an existence. Grow some balls, for fuck's sake.
Justine put her arm around Gore, startled to find he was shaking with rage. 'It's okay, she told him. 'We'll find a solution.
'Oh yeah. That's right. Because now it's not just the integral memory function that the Void can use as a template for creation. It can delve into any old hang-up you care to take in there with you. The Living Dream bastards aren't going to be content with going to Makkathran and screwing themselves stupid with Ranalee. Not any more. Not now they can recreate anything from their own past. People, cities, civilizations, worlds. Bring anything you want back to life, anything from history, from fiction. Doesn't matter, we'll just suck down a couple of thousand new stars into the boundary to power it up. Jesus H Christ.
'Are you blaming me for this?
Gore stood still, his fists clenching and unclenching as he tried to calm down. 'No. It's not your fault. I'm not blaming you. This is all down to the bastard Firstlives who built the fucking abomination in the first place. The Raiel were right to try and destroy it. I wish they goddamn had, I really do.
'I can use the Silverbird to study as much as it can.
'No no, that's not the answer to anything. We can't go in there with ray-guns blazing. I thought you'd realized that. You were right earlier, the mind is the key in the Void. It is geared up to manifest every thought. The physical environment can only be a tiny part of it. Think of it as an eight-dimensional onion.
Justine straightened her back and gave her father an exasperated look. 'Thanks, Dad. That's helpful. I always think in those terms, it really helps a lot.
Gore gave her a gruff smile. 'All right, forget the eight dimensions, just picture the layers. They're interlinked dimensionally, not figuratively, but you get the drift. Every layer has a different function. There's the memory layer which captures everything that goes on in there. There's the creator layer, which must organize the reset. There's the interaction layer which formats thoughts for the creator layer, which is what makes telepathy and all the rest of that mental shit happen.
'A layer to make souls work, Justine said thoughtfully.
'Yeah. This is all built around rationality and its evolution, the fulfilment your retard Skylord is fixated on. So maybe another layer which handles thought processes — maybe that's the soul one, maybe not. That's not the point. There's a whole ton of layers, ones we can deduce from observation and stuff we can't even guess at. And Christ knows what the nebulas are and why they're singing. Doesn't matter. What we have here is an enormously complex construction. But the nucleus is the centre — again, not physically.
'So the nucleus does control it all.
'Who knows what the hierarchy is? What we have to do is find a route in, something we can rationalize and engage, just like you wanted.
'Why would the nucleus create Kazimir for me?
'It didn't. I don't believe you can think big enough to attract its attention. That confluence nest you have on board probably imprinted the Kazimir dream on to the creator layer. It was a thought more powerful than it's accustomed to. Most of the layers don't operate at a conscious sentient level, they just perform their task. And nobody ever took a confluence nest inside before. The one thing a confluence nest does above all else is hold a memory and repeat it ad infinitum. Your dream was the only one it received and that warped reality. The creator layer simply responded in the way it was designed. Nothing personal.
Justine sat on the bed, trying to fit together what he was saying. 'If my thoughts aren't powerful enough, what's the point of me trying to find the nucleus?
'This dream is being received by everyone who has a gaiafield connection. Understand?
'Ah.
'Don't try and find the nucleus, it's a waste of time.
'But, you just said—
Gore knelt in front of her, his hands gripping her upper arms. His eyes peered out intently from the gold skin mask that was his face. 'You have to get to Makkathran.
'There's nobody left there. The Skylord said the humans had all gone to the nucleus.
'I don't give a shit. Get to Makkathran. It's important. That's where humans are centred in the Void.
'How? The Silverbird can't fly.
'Wrong. Gore grinned right at her. 'You're in the Void. You've got telepathic powers. The Silverbird can't fly now.
'Oh. She worked out what he was proposing. 'Oh!
'That's my girl; as smart as you are beautiful.
'But, Dad, Kazimir won't exist then. I'll have killed him.
Gore let go of her arms. 'I'm sorry, run that by me again.
'If I go back to then, he won't exist.
'Oh, Jesus wept, Gore slapped a hand theatrically across his brow. 'Don't you go all liberal on me now. Not now.
'I can't wipe him out of existence. He's real now for better or worse. I have a responsibility.
'He is the equivalent of a re-life clone, one that has been stuffed with your recollections of his memories. How pitiful is that?
'He's alive, she said firmly.
'And you've got the hots for him.
'I have not.
'Your own DNA test showed you he's not Kazimir; just some poor doppelganger the memory layer had in storage.
'Exactly. He's human. I can't do this to him.
Gore took her hands. 'Listen to me, darling. This is the fundamental catastrophe that is the Void. He was a stored memory. Everybody who was ever in the Void is exactly the same, everyone who crashed there in the colony ship was copied; everyone who was ever born. Owain is still there, for God's sake, still frozen in the memory layer at the moment the Waterwalker shot him — and for all the decades he lived before. In all the resets Edeard performed afterwards, he never went back past the point where he wiped out the conspirators. He could never bring himself to do that all over again, because that's what he would have had to do each time.
This is what the Void throws at us. They lived in the time they were meant to live. You can't change that, Justine. You cannot allow rationality and ethics that evolved in this universe to apply where you are now.
'I know what you're saying; but, Dad, you haven't met him. He's so sweet. He doesn't deserve this.
'The galaxy doesn't deserve the Void, but we've got it. And I have met him, darling, I've felt your silly little heart beat faster at the sight of him. I tasted the chocolates you ate when you smiled and flirted with him. I know the urge you've been trying to ignore. I'm sorry. You have to do this. You have to go to Makkathran.
'Oh Goddamnit.
He kissed her brow. 'Look on the bright side, if we lose you get to stay and live in the Void, you can find him again.
'You are a thoroughly fucking useless coach, you know that.
'I know. Now go and wake up.
Justine nodded weakly, knowing she didn't really have a choice. For the first time she looked through the bedroom window. The land outside wasn't the grounds of the Tulip Mansion. Instead, her old home was sitting at the bottom of an impossibly huge valley, with mountains curving away through the sky like a monstrous green and brown wave about to break overhead. The sun was a long band of glaring light. 'What the hell is that?
Gore shrugged lightly. 'I had to make a few sacrifices so I could dream your dreams.
'Dad…
'I'm fine. He raised a hand, waving, his smile fond and proud. 'Go on. Wake up.
* * * * *
Justine's eyes opened wide, staring up at the cabin ceiling. Tears blurred her vision. She wiped them away angrily. 'Oh hell. And Kazimir would know something was wrong. No telepath had the strength to shield those emotions.
Sure enough, he was standing at the end of the rope ladder as she struggled her way down. He even held it steady for her.
'What's the matter? he asked.
'I have to go, she said flatly.
'I see. That's good, isn't it? You know how to reach the nucleus. You wanted to go there.
'I can't take you with me, she stammered.
'I understand.
'No. No you don't. She took a deep breath and kissed him. Delight banished the surprise from his face.
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