At some point, I’d gotten to my feet. I didn’t recall this happening, though. And when I took a peek around the table, I noticed everyone else had stood, too. All eyes were on Kelsey—and the fumbling waiter behind her. It also didn’t help that nearly the entire restaurant staff had come out to see what was going on.
It was a real circus.
Or shit show. Whichever you preferred.
“Oh my God, Kelsey . . . I’m so sorry.” I dabbed her chest with my napkin, trying to dry the wet fabric that clung to her skin.
She pushed my hand away and scanned the circle around us, stopping on every one of her family members and friends, who stood gawking at her. Then she lifted her chin to meet my eyes. “What the hell?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . .” I shook my head and tossed the napkin to the table. “I think I have a T-shirt or something in the truck. At the very least, I know my coat’s in there.”
“Really, Aaron? I’m in a dress. Your shirt won’t do jack for me, and wearing your lab coat over this will make me look more stupid than I already do.” It was amazing how she could lecture me with such sternness without once raising her voice. Anyone watching us right now would think we were in the middle of a very calm and rational conversation.
“Then let’s go.”
She glanced around the table again, but this time, when her eyes met mine, gratitude outshone the terror from earlier. “Tatum and Jason just shared really big news,” she said, louder than last time. “I don’t wanna miss the celebration.”
“Don’t worry about us, Kels.” Tatum met her friend with sincerity. “We know you’re happy for us, and we know you wouldn’t leave if you hadn’t taken a bath at the table. Honestly, you won’t hurt our feelings.”
Diane, Kelsey’s mom, came around the table and paused behind her, whispering something over her shoulder that no one else could hear. Defeat swarmed her until her posture weakened. It was such a visible reaction to whatever her mother had said, and I couldn’t believe that no one else could see that.
Regardless, Kelsey nodded at her mother and then turned to me. “I’ll be right back.”
With Kelsey and Diane gone, the commotion behind us nearly taken care of, we all resumed our seats. Most of the conversations had picked up where they’d left off—except for one. Rather than converse with her friends or husband, Tatum stared at me from across the table. Questions creased her brow and extended the laughter lines next to her eyes, even though she didn’t appear to be anywhere close to laughing. The only thing I could do was shrug and hope she’d understand later when I had a private moment to explain.
I knew more about Tatum than I could say I knew her. I’d listened to Jason talk about her for months, but I had only met her a couple of times. Even then, it was obvious they had something special—just the look in his eyes when he’d say her name. It was something I’d yearned for. And once they had officially started dating, and I got to be around her more, I could see exactly why Jason loved her. It was hard not to. So even though I hadn’t spent years with her or been through anything major with her, I believed, deep down in my soul, that she would understand the situation once I explained.
Not to mention, Kelsey had already known about the pregnancy before tonight, and I’d bet they’d had their own private celebration away from everyone else. Really, there was no need for Kelsey to have even come tonight other than to complete the circle.
Fred was to my left, leaning over Diane’s empty chair to engage in conversation with Lori and Jason. Tatum had gone back to her friends, nodding and speaking with a genuine smile stretched across her lips, cheeks glowing with the excitement of her news. And I was the lone ranger. It was hard not to sit here and create a list of all the things these people had that I wanted—longed for. I craved a big family. My parents were amazing people, but aside from my mom and dad, I didn’t have anyone. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts or uncles. I’d only had one set of grandparents my entire life, and they had long since passed.
Kelsey was incredibly lucky, and she probably didn’t even know it.
Just then, in the middle of my mental comparison—and jealousy—Kelsey and her mother returned to the table. She didn’t take her seat, though. Instead, she stood behind me while Diane resumed her place between Fred and Lori.
“What’s going on?” Marlena took the question right out of my mouth. Granted, had I been the one to ask, no one else at the table would’ve heard. Yet Marlena hadn’t bothered to lower her voice. The heat in Kelsey’s cheeks was so tangible, the entire room grew warm.
Not letting Kelsey respond to her sister, I pushed myself to my feet and carefully slid my chair back—after making sure no one stood behind me with a plate of food or tray of drinks. Didn’t need that happening twice in one night. I took her hand, met her stare, and whispered, “You okay?”
“Yeah. I just really need to get out of this dress. It’s freezing.” She softly slapped my bicep when she caught my eyes dropping to her chest. In my defense, I only wanted to see just how cold it was. But once my gaze returned to her face, I was surprised to find a hint of a grin curling her lips and a shimmer of peace dancing in her hazel eyes. “Just take me home, will you?”
“Gladly.” I nodded at everyone at the table who hadn’t lost interest in our Cirque du Shame performance. Stopping at Jason, who pinned me with his questioning, narrowed gaze, I mouthed, “Call me tomorrow.”
After tossing a twenty onto the empty plate to cover my drink, a tip, and a little extra for the scene we’d caused, I grabbed Kelsey’s hand and led her outside. She kept her mouth shut, her thoughts to herself, which could only mean I was in for it once we got to the truck. No witnesses. That was never a good thing. Even though I was still getting to know her, I’d heard enough about her through Jason—and, subsequently, through Tatum—to anticipate a raised voice and two or three curse words. At the bare minimum. And that was if I was lucky.
I led Kelsey to the passenger-side door and held out my hand. Her arched brow and quirked lip told me she didn’t know what I was after, so I said, “Keys?”
“Oh yeah . . . I forgot you ordered an alcoholic beverage tonight and gave me permission to drive.” That damn smirk drove me crazy for several very different reasons. She reached into her purse and grabbed my key ring, clicking the button on the fob until the doors unlocked. “Go ahead, climb in, cowboy.”
I opened the door and gestured for her to hop in. “I didn’t even have a sip of my drink, so I don’t need you to drive anymore.”
“No, but you did pour a glass of freezing-cold water all over me. That should count for something.” At least she wasn’t yelling; that was a plus.
I wrapped my hand around her fist, lowered my mouth to her ear, and growled, “Give me my keys and get in the truck, Kelsey. I’ll let you drive another night. Not tonight.”
She huffed, though not any normal huff. It was more like an erotic exhale, full of heightened arousal and desperation. Need. Excitement littering the outskirts of the heavy sigh. It was enough to redirect the blood in my body from my brain to my . . . well, head. But before I could question it, act on it, do anything about it, she released my keys and climbed into the passenger seat.
After that, it took a few minutes of static filling the cab as we drove down the road before either of us spoke. And of course, any ounce of sexual frustration or desire was gone. Defeat had resumed its place in her voice when she asked, “Why were you reaching for my drink in the first place? You had your own. So why mine?”
Navigating through her question was no different than wandering through a minefield. Granted, I didn’t know that for certain, considering I’d never seen a minefield, let alone wandered through one, but if I had to guess, this was exactly like it.
I gripped the steering wheel and prepared myself for the backlash. “Honestly, I had meant to pour it on myself. I reached for yours because I figured it would make more sense that I had dropped yours rather than mine, which was right in front of me
. I had to stretch to get your glass, and in my mind, that made sense.”
“Let’s back up to the part where you said you had intended to spill the water on yourself. Why the hell would you do that?”
I shrugged. “To get us out of there?” It seemed like an obvious answer to me.
“But why would you want to leave? They had literally just announced they are having a baby. That’s big news. Exciting news. Why wouldn’t you want to stay and celebrate with your best—oh.” Sitting sideways in her seat, she stared at me with wide eyes, hand clapped over her mouth. “Are you in love with Tatum? Was hearing their news too much for you? Are you like . . . jealous or something?”
The traffic light turned yellow, and I slammed on the brakes—unnecessary and maybe a little premature, but totally worth the yelp it caused. Once I came to a complete stop, I leaned into the center console with my elbow to bring our faces a little bit closer. “It had nothing to do with Tatum and everything to do with you.”
“Huh? You were going to spill a glass of ice-cold water on your lap because of me? Why? What’d I do?” She seriously didn’t get it.
“I needed an excuse to get you out of there.”
Wrong choice of words, because it caused her to pull away, a scowl lining her nude-colored lips. “I’m sorry, but . . . say that again?”
“I saw how uncomfortable you were about your parents’ response and what your sister said. Lie to me about it, say it didn’t bother you, tell me I misread the entire situation. But I know what I saw. And whether you admit it or not, you were bothered by it. Be it upset, hurt, betrayed, mad . . . you had a strong reaction to it all, and no matter how happy you are for your friend and cousin, it didn’t do a damn thing to mask your emotions.”
Her confusion waned, her expression softening. Understanding flashed in her wide eyes as if someone had lit a match behind the hazel orbs that stared back at me. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. As soon as the light changed to green, she glanced away, shifted in her seat to face the window, and visibly shut down. It was like a switch.
“If you’re so opposed to getting married and having a family, why did that bother you so much?” I doubted she would answer me, but it was worth a shot anyway.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel about marriage or having a family. Whether I want one or not, whether I’ll have one or not . . . it doesn’t mean I want to feel replaced. I can’t help but think that if I did have a baby, it wouldn’t be special—it’d just be another kid in the family. Mom doesn’t care who gives birth, just as long as she has someone to spoil, and in my mind, that lessens the value my own child will have. If I ever have one, I mean.”
I could’ve been wrong, but to me, it seemed like deep down she truly did want the fairy tale. She wasn’t as opposed to it as she tried to make it seem, and because of that, I wondered what had happened to her that made her this way. Recalling what she’d said outside Boots that night about her ex, I had a strong feeling her aversion to love stemmed from that relationship.
“What happened with your ex?” In my peripheral vision, I caught her turning her head to look at me, her body still angled toward the door. “You mentioned it before, when you were explaining the need to pretend. You said he made you feel worthless and ruined the idea of a happily ever after for you.”
Her posture softened, and she leaned into the seat with her attention set on the road ahead of us, as if pretending to be somewhere else while she opened up to me. “We met at a concert. He was a cop, and he was supposed to be working the event—crowd control or something. We hit it off right away, and for the next two years, we were inseparable. He practically lived with me, and he came to most of the functions at my parents’ house. Everyone loved him.” She leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and whispered, “He was supposed to be my forever.”
“What changed?”
“I can’t really say that anything changed per se. I just found some things out that had always been there; I just wasn’t aware of them. Such as the fact that he was married the whole time we were together.”
Luckily, I had just pulled into a space in front of the apartment complex and put the truck in park. Had I still been on the road, there was a good chance I would’ve slammed on the brakes in both shock and anger that assholes like him got women like Kelsey. Without worrying about shutting off the engine, removing my seat belt, or even getting out of the truck, I shifted in my seat to completely face her and then held her attention with a gentle grip on her chin. “He’s a fucking dick, and he never deserved you. No man worthy of breaking your heart ever would, and those who do were undeserving of your time from the start.”
“I appreciate that, Aaron. I really do. But it doesn’t matter anymore. That was a while ago, and I’m totally over it.” She pushed my arm away and reached for the door handle. “Well, I’m over it for the most part. Just as long as it isn’t thrown in my face.”
“Then what was the issue with tonight? Unless I missed something, no one mentioned him. He wasn’t brought up, yet you still felt something. I wouldn’t call that being over it to any degree.” Arguing hadn’t been my intention, but I couldn’t stop it now.
“Tonight wasn’t about him. You’re the one who brought him up.”
“Explain this to me, Kelsey. Please, because I’m trying to understand.”
She shoved open the door and hopped down. “You don’t need to understand anything.” And with that, she slammed it closed and headed for the stairs.
It took me a moment to absorb what had just happened; my mind was all over the place. But once I realized she had made it up the stairs and had disappeared down the hall, I yanked the key from the ignition, tore off my seat belt, and jumped out of the truck. Taking two steps at a time helped me catch up quicker, and by the time I’d made it to the front door, she hadn’t gotten past the couch. Which meant she hadn’t reached her room yet.
I still had a chance to salvage this.
“Wait. Don’t just run off like that. I’m trying to talk to you.”
Kelsey swung around like I’d cracked a whip behind her. “Yeah, well, maybe I don’t wanna talk to you. Maybe I don’t care to dredge up my past or go into details of why I was upset tonight. I appreciate your efforts to get me out of there, even if I was the one who ended up soaking wet and embarrassed. But that doesn’t mean I owe you any explanations.”
Slowly, I crossed the space between us until I stood within breathing distance of her, surprised she hadn’t backed away as I grew closer. I reached out and captured her hands between us while I held her panicked stare. Every part of me prayed she could see the truth in my eyes and use it to calm down.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I get that it’s personal and likely painful to think about it or talk about it. But the discomfort in your eyes tonight was real. It was raw. And if you don’t find a way to deal with it, it will only get worse until it’s unmanageable. It’ll only get bigger until it swallows you whole.”
“What could you possibly know about how I feel or what will happen if I don’t share my darkest secrets with you?”
“I know what it’s like to exist in two different worlds depending on where I am or who I’m around. I understand the weight of a mask and how heavy it can be at times. How difficult it can be to keep it in place so no one sees the real you.”
She balked and tried to take a step back, but my hold on her prevented it. However, she didn’t fight it; she didn’t let go of my hands. She just stood there and stared at me, hopelessness swimming in her eyes. “You don’t know anything about the real me.”
There was so much I could say, so many things I could bring up to prove her wrong. We’d shared an entire night together under the guise that we were strangers, that we knew nothing about the other. Not even names. And when I’d had her in my arms, beneath me, surrounding me in all aspects of the word, she was bare. Every inch of her was naked—including her face. Her mask was nowhere to be found.
; I’d spent the night with the real her, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
“Come with me,” I whispered, leading her by the hand to her room.
“What are you—” Her question vanished the second I had her pressed against her closed bedroom door . . . from the inside.
It was dark—no lights were on—and aside from our heavy breathing, no sound filled the space, either. I waited a few seconds until the strain in her posture receded enough to relax her body in my arms. “It’s just us. No one else. No masks, no pretenses, no exes or assumptions. Be real with me, Kelsey. What upset you so badly tonight?”
She sniffled, and when I reached for her face, there was no mistaking the tracks of wetness on her cheeks. Her tears filled her words when she finally spoke, blowing me away with what she had to say. “My mom won’t love my baby as much as she loves theirs.”
Chapter 13
Kelsey
Aaron had me caged against the door, his arms on either side of me. His chest to my front. His face so close to mine that I could feel his every exhale. This man was an enigma, and I found myself desperately wanting to figure him out.
One minute, he’d be my best friend while we lounged on the couch with a tub of ice cream between us. The next, he’d come swooping in to save the day like my very own personal superhero. Two seconds later he could piss me off like a brother would—or like Jason always had. And in the blink of an eye, his entire demeanor would soften, as if he were a teddy bear I could use for comfort. But the most surprising of all was how a minute later he could have such confidence, such dominance, such control with no more than a look or a touch or a single sentence. When he flipped that switch, every part of me wanted him.
The Secret Baby Page 14
