by Shayne Ford
“I can be so stupid sometimes.”
“You said you were communicating with this person online. What exactly were you two talking about?”
I weigh my words for a second.
“Nonsense, mostly.”
“What made you think it was him?”
“The person talked about relationships, and how getting in a rut and placing convenience above everything else can kill that special bond between two people who are in love. How it can turn something beautiful and magical into a slavery of sorts.”
“You bought all that?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Do you feel that way?”
“Sometimes.”
She pauses.
“That’s why I felt compelled to talk with him. Everything he said made sense to me at the time.”
We share another moment of silence.
“And that might be the actual explanation...” I mutter.
“What do you mean?”
“My mind must’ve tricked me, creating for me something that I missed in the real world. It wanted to find a meaning where there was none, connecting events that had nothing in common, creating this man, who, in my mind, was interested in me when I felt that no one else was paying attention to me. It all makes sense now...” I say, feeling unexpectedly calm and so empty inside. “It was all in my head, Anna. Everything was in my head.”
3
TESS
I clear my mind and life of him the same way you clean an old dusty house. No more browsing, dirty clips or chatting on the forums.
No more peering out the window or staring at the cars passing by.
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, no more bouquets of flowers show up at my house. No more sightings of him, messages, or teasing clues that he might have been nearby.
He no longer enters my space, virtual or otherwise. My mind benefits the most from this change. It’s sharper and more focused. It helps me to get a lot more work done.
The first week of December comes with plenty of snow, but not enough to keep people inside and temper their appetite for shopping.
Thursday evening, Anna and I browse the stores as well.
We finish shopping, and half an hour later, I find myself eating dinner by myself in one of the small restaurants, downtown, while she goes home since Danni returned home from a business trip one day earlier than planned.
Unlike her, I’m in no hurry to go home. Allan is not back from his business trip. My mom and Viola spend some time at a friend’s house.
I set my phone on the table and glance around. Only a handful of people occupy seats at the nearby tables.
The place has recently opened and has already gotten great reviews. The food is delicious and the atmosphere so pleasant.
It’s a small space with cream walls and crystal chandeliers, dark velvet draperies framing the windows. The lights are low, the music slow, and most guests have already finish dinner and now enjoy a glass of wine.
I’m almost done eating as well when two couples enter the establishment.
I set the fork down and indulge in a sip of wine, glancing casually at them. My hand stops mid-air. My glass as well.
I do a double take, my eyes freezing on the man.
Stephan Leon?
Surprises washes over me, my pulse speeding up.
I do my best not to stare, but I do. A woman walks by his side. Brown hair, pouty mouth. A red dress hugging her well-proportioned body. A luring smile sitting on her lips.
Feline like, she loops her arm around his, both walking into the room before I notice there’s a second couple. The view clears for a moment as they head to a booth not far from me, and then another pair enters my sight.
My mouth falls open.
Clad in a skintight green dress featuring a plunging neckline and an hourglass shape, the brunette woman flashes a full mouth grin. She connects eyes with the man sauntering by her side, and my hand falls on the table, almost breaking the glass.
Sebastien Rockford and Jacqueline Monroe make the short trip to the table. He didn’t see me, or at least that’s what I think.
He pulls the chair out for her.
She arches her spine, curves her lips into a smile, and flips her hair over her shoulder as she gingerly lowers herself into her seat.
Sebastien’s eyes sweep the table as he unhurriedly unbuttons his suit jacket and takes a seat as well.
He wears no tie, the color of his suit matching his hair, the starched collar of his white shirt setting off his eyes and smooth complexion.
A small smile clings to his lips.
I stare at his bottom lip way more than I should.
He gets settled in his seat when he suddenly flicks his eyes up and straightly connects them with mine.
Gasping, I fall back into my chair.
Oh... How wrong I was.
He knew that I was here.
I slump in my chair, barely breathing, making an extra effort not to look at him, but I just can’t.
He holds my eyes long enough to make me lose my calm completely. I have to force myself to tear my eyes away .
Glancing around, I try to locate the waiter.
The server catches sight of my gesture, and rushes to me.
“Check please,” I say curtly.
“Is everything okay, Miss?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
“Yes, everything’s fine. The food was excellent,” I say, adding a forced smile. “Can you please hurry?”
“Sure, no problem,” he says. “I’ll be back in a second.”
He collects the plate and pulls away while I struggle to keep my gaze in check and myself from glancing at Sebastien’s table again.
Despite my effort, there’s no way I can ignore the stare that burns my face. I feel like fidgeting, or rather running, but I do my best to look calm and collected.
My eyes slip to the wall in front of me where a full mirror gives me a glimpse of my pale face and the desperation buried in my eyes.
The pull is so strong I cannot fight it.
I give in and shift my gaze again, meeting his hooded, deep- like-an-abyss eyes with growing panic.
“Here,” the waiter says.
Startled, I swing my gaze up to him.
“Thank you.”
I shove my credit card into his hand.
“I’ll walk with you,” I say as I push out of my seat.
Minutes later, I wait for him to complete the transaction at the register, my back turned to the exit door, my coat on.
“Thank you again,” the man says politely as I give him a slow nod and pivot away.
I take a long breath before I step outside, welcoming the icy wind flogging my face.
“Why did you rush to leave?”
The man’s voice echoes behind my back, coursing through me like a voracious fire. It’s clear, and even, a low, balanced tone spiced with a dash of sweetness, that makes it even more addictive.
I slowly turn around.
Hands tucked in his pockets, he studies me in silence. Soft flurries land on his suit jacket. Some of them swirl in the air before they get caught in his hair.
The dimness can’t hide the glimmer in his eyes or the soft grin arching his lips. He takes a couple of steps toward me, smoothly erasing the space between us, and slowly brings his hand to my face.
I watch him paralyzed.
Our eyes stay connected as we both travel inside each other’s hearts.
“Why would I stay?” I mutter, my eyes barely holding his.
A mysterious smile brushes his lips.
His hand slides to my neck, tenderly curling around it. I feel his touch in my entire my body. He leans closer to me, the scent of his cologne sweeping through my senses.
A memory I can’t recall starts screaming in my head.
“What are you doing...?”
My voice gets lost in the softness of his lips.
He holds my body with the other arm, or I’d just crumble at his feet. Smoothly, he gi
ves me the softest kiss I’ve ever gotten before he breaks away from me.
My lips burn, eager to get a taste of him again. A pain grows in my chest as well, summoning a lost memory, and yet, I can’t remember.
He leans to me again, and murmurs in my ear.
“You can’t get away from me, Tess.”
That’s all he says. His words prompt another secret grin on his lips before he smoothly tears away.
I grab his arm.
Harshly. Desperately.
He stops and looks at me surprised.
“I don’t belong to you,” I quietly growl through clenched teeth.
And then I point to the restaurant.
“There’s a woman waiting for you inside.”
There’s a battle of emotions in my voice. It only makes him smile.
Without another word, he yanks his arm out of my grip and walks away.
I feel like breaking something.
JACQUELINE
The house is sunk in darkness when I walk into the foyer. I toss the keys on the table, shrug out of my coat and toss it on a chair.
Absently, I run my fingers through my hair and shoot a quick glance in the wall mirror.
My lipstick is almost gone. I scoop the lipstick tube out of my purse and apply a coating of color before I rub my lips against each other and slide my finger below my mouth, removing a speck.
Mmmm... That’s better.
I set my purse on the table as well and stroll to the living room. My heels tap the marble, the echo bouncing around the house.
“Sebastien?”
Silence comes from every corner of the place. Once in a while, I hear the crackling of the fire and thick logs crumbling in the fireplaces.
I take the stairs up and set foot on the second floor a few moments later.
I find him in his office.
Standing by the window, back turned to me, his gaze rooted to the scenery. The view of trees dressed in snow and sprinkled with icicles streams through the glass.
A faint glow coming from the streetlights illuminates the room.
My gaze drifts down on him,
He hasn’t changed his clothes. The fact that he wears the same suit and dress shirt as this morning tells me that he hasn’t even considered going to the party.
That’s not a good sign.
“What are you doing?” I ask, pivoting to turn on the lights.
“Don’t do it,” he tosses at me over his shoulder with a voice filled with icicles just like the trees outside.
Slowly, he turns around.
For a moment, my hand freezes in the air, my eyes on him.
He leans against the window sill, his hands in his pockets.
I take a few steps in his direction and stop in the middle of the room.
The fireplace makes the air warm, but all I feel is the coldness coming from him.
A few moments of silence slip by before I speak.
“How long are you going to hold it against me, Sebastien?”
My voice brims with frustration that’s old news. It’s been stacked up for some time.
Pursing his lips, he gives me a slow once over, and a derisive look.
“What makes you think that I still am?”
“You clearly are.”
He slowly shakes his head.
“Why would I hold something against you, Jacqueline?”
“That’s exactly my question.”
He stays quiet for a few moments.
“I can stop this standoff any time,” I say, holding the crazy hope that I can turn things my way. “We don’t have to live like this,” I add, pleading for leniency.
His eyes narrow with a frosted gaze.
“You’re not doing me a favor. It’s just the way things are,” he mutters.
My chest hurts.
“That was a mistake,” I say, tension streaming through my voice.
He chuckles softly.
“You’re wrong if you think that you can make amends to me after all this time. I don’t care how you rationalize it, or what spin you put on it. Saying that it was a mistake, sounds superfluous and honestly, it diminishes you. You are a calculated woman. There’s no doubt in my mind that you were perfectly aware of what was going on.”
More frustration builds in me.
“And this is your plan?” I snap, gesturing at him.
“It’s not a plan. It’s my life.”
“What about my life?”
My voice skids on higher notes, bringing a smirk to his lips.
“You’re a grown-up woman who can cope with the consequences of her decisions.”
“Whatever...” I mutter, flicking my hand dismissively. “It wasn’t my idea after all. It was your father’s wish. He chose to do that.”
“Convinced by you. And your father.”
I puff softly.
“He didn’t need to be convinced. It was entirely his choice.”
“It was a coward’s choice.”
“He wanted the best for both of us.”
“Hmm... He did. And, um… Is this the best for both of us?”
“It is what it is, Sebastien. Our lives are better than the lives of most people I know. Why do we even have to talk about it?” I blurt, frustrated.
“You brought it up.”
I shoot my hand up.
“Okay... It was my fault. And my mistake. But I learned from it.”
“Did you?”
An amused grin makes it to his lips only for a moment before a sinister coldness sets on his face.
I feel the hands of fear all over my chest.
He pushes off the window sill and takes a few steps in my direction. His hands concealed in his pockets, his lips curled into a lopsided smirk.
“What did you learn, Jacqueline?”
He stops inches away from me, his gaze so intense, I lose my breath for a moment.
I suck in a gulp of air, struggling to hold his gaze.
“I shouldn’t have crossed you.”
A block of silence falls between us.
“All I wanted was to get back at you. And that was stupid.”
He sears me with his gaze, no comment on his lips.
“I shouldn’t have sided with your father,” I add.
A small smile curves his lips.
“You didn’t side with him. You are just like him.”
“How can you possibly say something like––”
“Shut up.”
I freeze.
He no longer smiles.
“You knew exactly what you were doing. And so did him. It was long coming. And to some degree, I knew it, but I always hoped that he wouldn’t be that stupid. Well, I was proven wrong. Ganging up with you certainly didn’t help. No one should do something like that, Jacqueline. No one.”
A shred of pain flashes in his eyes, but he quickly wipes it away, his gaze filling with ice.
He’s too proud to let me witness that.
“You can always leave,” I say curtly.
I pull my mouth shut just as fast, shivering inside.
I fear his reaction and the smirk that tilts his lips.
“Why would I? This is working so well,” he sneers.
My insides crumble.
“You can’t possibly say that.”
“And yet, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Why would I leave? Why would I leave what’s mine behind?”
“I’m yours too,” I say, my jaw tense.
“Don’t fool yourself. You were never mine, and will never be. But I wasn’t talking about you, anyway,” he says.
“It would be easier if you’d want me. Why can’t you just do it?” I toss at him, petulant, also trying to provoke him.
I want to see him losing his calm, reacting, for once.
Grinning, he tips his gaze to my mouth. He brings his hand to my face and forces me to look up.
Our eyes start a small war. His grip is harsh, hurting me.
“Because it’s my prerogative,” he quie
tly says, his voice filled with poison.
Seething fury sweeps my veins.
“Fuck you.”
I shoot my hands into his chest, trying to push him back. Just as fast he grabs my hair and collars my neck, and I find myself limp in his grip.
His eyes destroy me with their glare. His nostrils flare, his jaw ticking.
“You brought this life on us, Jacqueline. You and my greedy father. He never liked me. But that’s a story for another time.
“I didn’t ask for any of this. I was trapped in this story.”
His sardonic chuckle makes my hair bristle.
“Just shut up, Jacqueline. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Had you not wanted it, you would’ve undone it. There was a way out. Still is.”
His eyes glimmer in the darkness.
“You just have to want it,” he says, no longer smiling.
Our stares collide for a moment.
I sense him tense and full of hope.
But he doesn’t know... I will never do it.
Never.
His old man was right to do what he did.
And I promised him... That it will never happen.
I will never let you go, Sebastien.
I throw him a defiant look.
“I will never do it,” I bark spitefully. “And there is nothing you can do.”
His hands peel off me in that very instant and I almost fall to the floor.
He takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair, a dark smile sitting on his lips.
“Suit yourself, darling. I always knew you are the worst when it comes to knowing what’s best for you.”
“Fuck you, Sebastien.”
I right my skirt and clasp my hands on my hips, slinging him another daring gaze.
“I have nothing to lose. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me,” I say defiantly.
The shadow of a smile creeps up his face.
“You shouldn’t underestimate me. There’s a lot I can do.”
“Maybe… But there’s one thing you can’t do.,” I say dryly. “You can’t disregard the clause. I’ll have my PI on you twenty-four seven if I need to.”
“Sounds like the marriage made in hell.”
I take a step toward him, closing the distance between us.
“Listen to me...” I say, looking up at him and fingering his hard chest.
“I don’t care how I got you. And I don’t care how I keep you. For everybody else, you are still my husband. We share a business empire, and we have our home. One day, you’ll realize that this is not a bad deal at all. I need one word from you, and everything else will stop.”
