And then he lifts my legs up, and I know he wants them wrapped around his neck. A lot of men like it that way, and I can get my legs into positions that have made a man come way before he’s ready. So I pull them back and lock my ankles together around his neck, and I’m taking him even deeper now, every inch of his glorious cock so far inside me I can feel it, feel him, and I know that when I come I’m going to come long and loud. I can feel it now, that wonderful release beginning its climb, starting at the tips of my toes and spreading with the speed of a freight train through my body until it explodes within me, shaking me to my core, and as I buck and jerk beneath him he comes too, and it’s beautiful. It’s hot and heavy sex at its best, but we can play harder than this. He knows it. I know it.
This night is just beginning.
But I also need to be prepared for it to end.
Neal
Jesus-fucking-Christ! What is she doing to me!
I’ve never come so hard in my life, but I guess the sight of her pussy gripping my cock like a vice was more than I needed to get there. She’s done this before, that’s obvious, but I try not to think about that; try not to picture her with all those other men who’ve had this pleasure, even though focusing on that would help no end. Remembering what she is, what she does; the amount of men she’s fucked in her life, for money – I should focus on that. It should make me want her less. Yet I couldn’t want her more.
‘Turn over.’
I want her from behind. I want to ram into her without looking at her face and maybe that’ll help.
I discard the used condom as she turns over and raises her perfect, hot-as-hell ass into the air, spreading her legs wide. I can see it all, and so much more, but my cock needs a rest before I go again. So I let my tongue play this time, rimming her gently – something I don’t do all that often, but I know she likes it. That’s what’s so great about fucking these girls – you know what they want, and what they won’t do, before you even meet them, so there are no awkward questions, no embarrassing requests that might get rejected. You know what they like, what they’re willing to do, and it makes life so much easier.
I move my tongue down, take hold of her hips and pull her ass back slightly, raising it up just a touch so I can reach her clit, and the taste of her overwhelms me. She tastes just as good as she did last night, all sweet and fresh and different. I devour her, I can’t get enough of her as my tongue searches and probes every inch of her red-hot pussy, my fingers prising her wider apart. I want to make her come with my mouth, so I set to work, licking her, sucking her, drinking her in until I feel her shudder and scream as she pushes that beautiful ass right into my face. I’m in freaking heaven here, and I don’t think I want to leave this room. Ever.
One more night, though. Just one more night. Then I’m walking away. I’m leaving early, packing up and getting out of here before something starts that I can’t stop.
I’m leaving.
Just one more night…
Seven
Kira
I’m sitting here, by a window in the living room of his ridiculously huge hotel suite, looking out as a new week dawns over my home city. The sky is slowly turning from deep black to a lighter grey, the sun not yet ready to show itself; it’s still a little too early.
I draw my knees to my chest and hug them to me, resting my chin on them as I continue to stare outside. In a little while this city will be full of commuters and people all rushing to work, their days mapped out for them. Normal days. Normal jobs. I don’t think I’ve done normal for a long time. It didn’t agree with me. Normal hurt me.
I take a deep breath, the smell of him filling my nostrils, which is no surprise seeing as I’m wearing his shirt, the one he discarded last night before we set about another marathon session of fucking that only ended a little over an hour ago. We fucked until four-thirty. Until our bodies couldn’t take any more. And I’m sore, and a little bruised, and stupidly tired. But I can’t sleep. I close my eyes and nothing happens. He was out like a light, so it was easy for me to disentangle myself from his arms and come out here. I couldn’t just lie there, staring at the ceiling, with him there beside me, confusing me more than I already am.
I resist the urge to call Joey. He won’t be expecting to hear from me until I’m back home anyway. I’ve never called him on a job before, but then, I’ve never really had a need to. I’ve never done overnights, until Neal walked into my life.
The sky starts to lighten a little more, and I know it won’t be long before the sun is finally up now. But as I watch the dawn get ready to break I realise how being up at this time of day; this time of the morning, it makes you think. I’m not used to being awake this early. I don’t need to be. I’m my own boss, I plan my own working hours, so if I want to sleep past nine every morning, I can. So this hour of the day, it’s strange to me. But I like it. There’s something calming about feeling like you’re the only one awake. But it really does make you think. And I’ve been doing a lot of that as I’ve sat here.
‘Come back to bed.’
I turn to see him standing in the living room doorway, all ruffled and beautiful and wearing nothing but jeans and a heartbreaking expression. I feel my stomach jolt, but I ignore it. Or I try to. But continuing to do that, it’s becoming exhausting. ‘Did I disturb you?’
He shakes his head and walks over to me, sitting down on the window-sill. ‘Couldn’t sleep, huh?’
‘No flies on you, then.’ I smile, and he laughs quietly, clasping his hands together, his eyes briefly looking down. I just want to reach out and run my fingers through his hair; I want to pull his head back and kiss him until our mouths hurt.
Jesus, Joey, I tried, believe me. I tried.
‘Shall we just stop fighting this, Kira?’
His question stuns me for a second or two, and it’s my turn to drop my gaze. ‘Sorry, I… I borrowed your shirt. It’s more comfortable to sit in than that dress.’
‘It looks better on you.’
I glance up, and he smiles, and I can’t take any more. I want to scream and fight and burst this dangerous bubble because this situation is wrong. It’s wrong. He’s a client. This is a job. That’s all this is. It can’t be anything more than that.
‘Kira?’
I want to look away, but I can’t. It’s like an invisible vice has got hold of my head and I can’t move it. ‘I can’t do this, Neal.’ I don’t even know what this is. And I don’t think he does, either.
‘I was going to leave here, today.’
I feel a mild panic start to flood through me as I listen to him speak.
‘I wanted to get away because… because I didn’t want this to happen. I thought…’ He breaks the stare and turns his head away, pushing a hand through his dark hair, and I watch as his fingers rake through it; as it falls back over his blue eyes. ‘I thought, last night…’ He takes a deep breath before turning back to face me. ‘I thought if I treat you like… Jesus, Kira…’
‘You thought if you treat me like the paid sex toy I am you’d feel differently about me.’ I smile when I say that, because I’ve got my tongue in my cheek, of course I have. And he senses that, and he throws me a weak smile back.
‘I wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but…’ He sighs quietly, pushing his hand back through his hair. I think it might be a nervous habit of his. ‘Yeah. Something like that.’
‘I tried to stay detached, too.’ I look back out of the window. The dawn is fighting its way through the darkness now, and the city below us is swathed by an almost ghostly pale orange glow. It makes everything look slightly ethereal. ‘I tried. That’s why I wanted to be everything from the porn star to the sexy schoolgirl. I wanted to treat you like any other man who pays for my services…’ I stop talking, but continue to stare outside. The city is getting ready to begin its day. And I have no idea how mine is going to pan out.
‘I quite enjoyed the porn star experience.’
I look at him, and his mouth is twitching at
the corners until it can’t help but smile, and I laugh.
‘And as for the sexy schoolgirl… I think we should make her even filthier next time, don’t you?’
I stare at him, his eyes burning into mine and I feel my stomach tie itself into a knot so tight I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to loosen it. ‘There’s going to be a next time?’
He says nothing for a beat or two, our eyes locked firmly together. ‘Yeah. There’s gonna be a next time.’
I drop my gaze, I have to. I just need a second to think. ‘I thought you were leaving.’ I look back up at him, and he shakes his head.
‘I’m not going anywhere. Not yet, anyway. I don’t walk away from things, Kira, I’m not that kinda guy.’
‘But you thought about walking away from this.’
‘Because it scares the hell out of me. And I know you’re scared, too.’
I turn away from him again. Looking at him still confuses me, because I’m still not sure what’s happening here. ‘What do we do, Neal?’
‘For as long as I’m here, Kira, I need you. I need to be with you, and not just for sex.’
I glance back at him, and his expression is serious. I really do think he means what he says, but I still find it hard to believe. Very few men have ever wanted me for anything other than sex.
Because you’ve never let anyone get close enough, emotionally, for anything else to happen.
‘Stop fighting it, baby.’
He holds out his hand, and I take it, letting him pull me up between his legs. His hand snakes around into the small of my back, the other gently pushing open the shirt so my breasts are exposed, and he leans in to take a nipple in his mouth, the touch of his tongue sending both hot and cold shivers soaring through me.
‘I want you to stop paying me, Neal.’
He looks up at me, and I gently touch his cheek, running my fingers over his salt-and-pepper stubble. He’s so handsome it just isn’t real, and I struggle to believe all this crazy shit is happening. ‘Kira…’
‘I don’t want you to pay me. Not anymore. It doesn’t feel right.’
He pulls me down so I straddle him, kissing me so softly I feel tears start to prick the back of my eyes.
‘I want you to make love to me, Neal. For once, don’t fuck me. I want you to make love to me. And that comes for free.’
Joey is going to freak. Because I have to tell him. No secrets. Nothing is private. So I have to tell him. And he is going to freak.
Neal rests a hand against my cheek, his thumb running lightly over my lower lip as his eyes bore deep into mine. It’s pointless even trying to fight it now. I still don’t know what this is, I don’t even know who I am anymore, I just know I can’t leave this man alone. I don’t want to be without him, while he’s here. And when the time finally does come when he has to leave…
That’s a bridge I don’t want to think about crossing.
Neal
The relief floods through me like the sweetest of medicines. I was never really gonna be strong enough to walk away from this. And whatever this is, she wants it just as much as I do, she was just trying to fight it. I was trying to fight it. But that’s becoming harder and harder to do now.
‘Kira, I…’
‘I’m not just an escort, Neal. That doesn’t define who I am.’
I don’t really know who she is. But then, she has no idea who I am, either. We’re just two lost souls looking for something. We found each other. And for that, I thank whatever god is up there watching over us. But I’m guessing it’s been a long time since she gave her beautiful body away for free, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just mean that, I think it’s been a while since she let anyone get close enough, emotionally. A long time since she let anyone in.
‘It’s just a few days, Kira, but…’
‘I won’t stop working, Neal. I need to get that straight. I want to be with you, I want to have sex with you, and I’m taking no more money for that. I want us to spend time together, but you will be leaving. At some point you’re going to get up and walk away from me so I need to keep my life going, do you understand? I’m putting my calendar back online and I’ll be seeing clients. But you – you’re not a client anymore, OK?’
I understand. I’m just not sure I like the idea of other men doing to her what I’ve done to her over these past couple of nights. But she’s right. In a few days I’ll have to leave, I have things to do; clients to see. I’m never in one place for all that long. So, I guess if she wants to think ahead, that’s just her way of coping with the inevitable. ‘But we don’t have to talk about it, do we?’ Yeah. I guess I can live with pretending it’s not happening; that she isn’t sleeping with other men.
She smiles, and I feel my heart jump. ‘No. We don’t have to talk about it.’
I want her so much it’s terrifying. But I can’t have her. Not the way I really want her. So I’ll just have to make do with the next few days.
‘Make love to me, Neal.’ She whispers in my ear, and I feel my stomach contract ten times over as I stand up, her legs wrapping around me as I carry her back into the bedroom.
We fall onto the bed, a mass of tangled limbs and hot, heavy kisses, but then the pace suddenly slows. We’ve done the manic, frantic sex. She wants something different now. Something I suspect she hasn’t had in a while, and once again I’m assuming here, but I feel like there’s a part of her that’s been closed to real emotion for a long time. Just like me.
I take her hands and watch as her fingers curl around mine. Such a simple action, but for some reason, this morning, it carries so much more of something I won’t even pretend to understand. And then her eyes meet mine, and the message is so clear it sends a shockwave ripping right through me.
I reach down to unzip my jeans, and my cock reacts instantly to the tiny sigh of pleasure she gives as my hand catches her inner thigh. So I do it again, letting my fingers gently brush her skin, our eyes locking as I slowly push into her. And it feels different this time. It feels – different. She feels different, and that might sound odd, but it’s what I feel as I thrust deeper into her, her hips bucking up to meet mine as we build to a slow, steady rhythm. I don’t take my eyes off her, I can’t. I want to look at her as I do this, as I take her in a different way; I want to watch her face as she comes. I want to be inside her when her climax hits and we make this real.
For the first time in a long time I’m making love to a woman.
But she’s a woman I can’t have.
And the pain I’m gonna feel when this is over is gonna hurt so bad. So fucking bad…
Eight
Kira
‘The calendar’s back up, I see.’ Joey flounces into the kitchen and throws me a look that says he still isn’t happy with me. But he knows better than to argue too much. He made his point. I know how he feels about what I’m doing. But he can’t change my mind, and he knows that. Because he also knows I’m a stubborn bitch. And it takes one to know one.
‘Make me a coffee, will you?’
‘Oh, so, it’s alright for me to make you a coffee, but if I want you to make me one it’s a no go?’
‘Just make me one, Joey, will you? I’ve got to go out in a little while.’
He switches the kettle on and leans back against the counter, folding his arms in that disapproving manner he’s adopted over the past day or so. ‘Where to this time? A paid job? Or are you off to see our American boy? The one you’re giving it to for free.’
‘Piss off, Joey. I’m not in the mood. And if you must know, I’m meeting a new client, at the Draysman. We’re having lunch.’
‘Lunch, huh? Is he paying for dessert, too?’
I just throw him a look. I’m really not in the mood.
‘Isn’t The Draysman where the delectable Mr Cannon is staying?’ Joey asks, examining his newly-French-polished nails.
‘It’s where I do a lot of business, Joey, It isn’t unusual for me to go there.’
‘Won’t it be awkward? I
f he sees you, I mean.’
I throw him another look, narrowing my eyes slightly. ‘Look, Joey, what we have it – it’s difficult for anyone to understand…’
‘You’re telling me, angel. It’s so fucked-up it’s ridiculous.’
‘I work during the day, I spend my nights with him. That’s all it is.’
‘Keep that routine up for more than a few days and you’re not gonna be able to walk by Christmas.’
I get up, ignoring his jibe. I’m used to them, and this is understandable. All Joey has ever wanted to do is protect me. I was a mess when he found me, and he vowed he’d never let me get that low again. But I’m fine. He did a great job of dragging me out of a pit of crap and turning me into the woman I am now.
‘So, let me get this straight. You’re telling me that, for the rest of this week, you’re going to spend every night with this man…’
‘He’s called Neal.’
‘I don’t care what he’s called. You’re spending every night with him and you’re not charging him a thing for the privilege?’
‘I’ve already taken two thousand pounds off him. I don’t want to take any more. Sleeping with him for money would feel seedy now.’
‘Jesus Christ, have you heard yourself? Are you actually listening to what’s coming out of your mouth?’
Allure (Forbidden #1) Page 6
