Ben’s mini rant took Celia aback. It seemed that he had a problem with John, and it dawned on her that he might also have a problem with sharing a position with her. “OK, well, you can call me whatever you like, but please keep it respectful,” she said, trying to lighten up the moment. She continued to clean up for the day. She had Ben tell her the basics of what she needed to do with the books and numbers. Despite his uneasiness, he knew that business was the most important thing, and he could not be held responsible for some woman messing it up. She got the gist of what he told her. From then the transition into Chimera became smooth for her.
Over the course of the next few months, the office that had once housed Ben and his hurricane of mess became a neat and organized area, equipped with a brand-new desk and chair for Celia. It even smelled better. The mountains of paperwork now were organized, and each binder labeled according to Ben’s and Bernie’s specifications. She would need those papers neat and organized because she would be crunching numbers soon. She would view all the mail at the office, but not before her hired security inspected it. They knew of no immediate threats to them, but Bernie, John, and Jerome insisted that she stay safe, just in case someone wanted to send tainted mail to the office.
Many of the envelopes were junk and some contained bills, which she also took charge of overseeing. She became the office management behind the scenes, much to the delight of Bernie, whose focus shifted to making deals with some people in the area. Bernie’s initial questions about her turned to adoration as he came to see her as one of his kids, the same way he looked at the guys.
She would get flyers from the Jamaican tourism board, which advertised heavily in the New York area as an alternative to the snowy weather. The headline of the flyers read, “Jamaica’s more than a beach, it’s a country.” Celia had always wanted to travel, and she thought that since she was making decent money at Chimera, someday she would get to go. Celia and Jerome had cousins in Jamaica, and she thought it would be nice to visit them one day. She took the advertisement and pinned it to the wall next to her desk as inspiration. Celia had received her week’s advance check when she first started, and it had been more than her weekly check from the Playboy Club plus tips. However, she did not receive another check until a month later. Bernie informed her that he distributed money on a monthly basis, and the amount depended on sales and fluctuation of markets and trends, so she had to budget wisely. This was why they all needed to hustle hard. They had not yet told her about the company’s other activities. They felt that for now those were outside of her jurisdiction.
Celia worked so many hours at the office, she had to put her plans for school on hold for the time being. She was not worried; the paycheck after the first month more than made up for it. For the first time in her life, she had received a four-digit paycheck. It would be enough that she would not have to move or even get a roommate once Rose left for good, which would be in a matter of days.
Celia would go out with the guys on the lunch outings. The lunches were different, as the four men decided to maintain the rule of discussing only the nonsensitive items in the public and around her, keeping the big issues to themselves. Although no one on the team was massively overweight, all of the men ate as if they skipped meals for days. Celia was a light and delicate eater. Her diet consisted of lots of fruits and vegetables, with baked chicken for protein. She mostly loved to snack on berries and grapes, a habit that did not go unnoticed by John. She had eaten the same things whenever they dined out while they were dating. He asked her about this out of curiosity. She told him that those berries had vitamins, kept you young, and made sure your body functioned properly. She said they were delicious and suggested he eat some. It was something that the women in her family had taught her. John was not sure what she meant by that. He declined and told her that he only put that stuff on hotcakes.
Celia often found time in the office mundane. She spent most days alone as the guys went out and conducted their daily business. On occasion, she would be stuck with one of them on a slow day. Jerome and Bernie were always out. John and Ben were the two people of whom she spent the most time. Ben had slowly begun to warm up to Celia, occasionally saying something nice. At those times she figured either Ben was having a good day or his other activities had turned his attention elsewhere. She made sure not to make him feel like she was completely taking over, as she had sensed the tension from day one. Working at the Playboy Club had given her an understanding of the male ego, and she knew when it was appropriate to bruise it.
Ben knew that the balance had shifted once Celia arrived. He felt that he had an ally in Bernie as John had an ally in Jerome, so the scales were even. With the edition of Celia, the scales tipped in John and Jerome’s favor. He had intended his aggressiveness toward her in the beginning to scare her away from the place. Now, with the increased, complicated workload, he needed her. He would not admit that he liked her personality, as it was not anything he had expected from someone like her. Ben would also not reveal to her that he had displaced some things with the accounting. He had not been completely honest with her the entire time. He’d forgotten over the years how much he had lost track of and why it had happened. If she were as good as they claimed she was, she would figure it out for herself, according to his logic. He was not worried about it, as he felt that she would be bombarded with enough that funds from the past would not be important.
John often kept Bunny company when she was alone. He was glad to have her there, but he still felt uneasy despite having the security detail to watch her. They would talk as the tension between them had subsided over time, and they became friendly. Before that point, they had not spoken about the reasons behind their breakup. Celia did not want details, as she felt a tinge of jealousy that someone else had the man she wanted. She had become fully aware of what kind of person he is. Their time at the office became reminiscent of the time that they were dating. Only the intimate moments were missing. John obsessed with her. He had spent nights after their breakup in his apartment either staring at the photos he took of her or sleeping with random women, occasionally calling Bunny’s name as he imagined having sex with her. They had never consummated their relationship while dating. Since their breakup, John had released his frustrations in over a dozen women so far, although never with his wife.
Bunny had learned a lot more things about John since she started working at Chimera. She discovered his sexual prowess with women and his reputation of leaving a trail of sad women behind him. She realized that she had ended up being one of those women. He was known around town as a man whore. Their relationship was able to heal, however; the lack of physical contact saved it.
“OK, I’m up for asking. What is the deal with you and your wife? Why do you not stay faithful?” Bunny asked him. “I just want to know how you men think, for the future.”
“I’m not perfect,” he answered. “It’s complicated.”
“You told me it’s complicated before, and we ended up here. You can be honest with me now,” she said.
“Have you ever felt trapped in your life?” he asked her.
“No. What do you mean by that?” she asked.
“When I married Edina, we were both young. I thought it was something that I was supposed to do. She’s a Jew, and her family hated my guts the moment they discovered that I wasn’t one of them,” he said.
“Well, I know what you are. Jerome knows what you are. Ben and Bernie know what you are, I hope. You are light, but that hair, that walk, and those lips ain’t foolin’ nobody, at least on this side of the tracks. Passing can only get you so far,” she said.
“I don’t care about what anybody thinks. I do it because it gets me ahead. It’s hard out there. I know what I am, and that’s all I care about. I mean, they may look like nice people, they may seem nice and tolerant and understanding of who you are, but when they get angry at you for whatever reason—when she gets mad—her white hood comes out. I left Louisiana to get away from that, and
I am still in it. Makes me sick,” he said.
Bunny replied, “Oh. That’s horrible. Well, there is annulment; you would have been done with it all. You should have left that a long time ago.”
“And what, go back to being one of the boys on the street? I was one of the flunkies we hire to do our dirty work. I was the flunky, Bunny. I was what Jerome was when I met him. I helped him like Bernie helped me. We were all discontented and disruptive. This place saved us,” he said. Briefly stunned at the revelation, she paused. For the first time since beginning work there, she internally questioned what kind of place she had agreed to work.
John continued his thought. “Her family felt since I slept with her, I was obligated to be with her. She said she was pregnant then lost it, but I never saw any evidence of it. Nothing about the situation is right. I’m not bitter about it; I don’t want kids with her. I like them, but not like this.”
“Why are you still with her if you feel that way?” Celia asked.
“When you join a place like this, you stay loyal even when at times you don’t want to be. I enjoy my position; Bernie is like a father to me. I did not grow up with my dad,” he said. “She helped me get here. She knows Bernie from way back. I felt that out of respect for him at least; I had to stay with her, but I didn’t want to. I can’t get rid of her. I tried. She won’t divorce me. She says that it would make her look bad, and she gave up too much to be with me, so I owe her. She would use that when we fought because I guess she thinks she is making me feel guilty or something. She thinks she is punishing me for not being her pet. I do my duties and show up with her in public because it keeps our names respectable. Like I said, I’m stuck. How do I get out now? I’m a slave to her. I want other things.”
“What do you want, then?” Bunny asked him.
“I want to be filthy fucking rich. I want my own island, my own wine company. You know I’ve been trying to find something to launch it. I want my signature flavor. I don’t even have a name yet. LeBlanc is too obvious. I’m working on it,” he said. John never shared his feelings with anyone when it came to his marriage. Not even his best friend, Jerome. John and Bunny had cultivated a relationship of trust on a foundation of distrust.
“You’ll get it. I’m so sorry to hear all of this. I still can’t condone cheating. I wouldn’t want to be cheated on,” Bunny said, and she paused again. “Everything will turn out OK for you. I know it. I have to go. Rose is leaving this evening, and I want to see her off,” she added. She stood up, kissed John on his forehead, and left. The scene was similar to the one in the park, but now it was in their workplace.
On her way home from the office, Celia stopped by a Chinese-food store for takeout. She saw Phyllis from the club waiting for her order. She was thrilled to run into one of the other bunnies she had worked with, as she missed them all. No one had contacted her since she left, as everyone was afraid of the consequences of communicating with her. Management did not divulge the details of her dismissal. Celia would only hear updates from Rose. She asked Phyllis, “How are things going at the club?”
Phyllis replied, “We miss you, sister. We didn’t know what was happening when they told us that you were not returning. You know people talk and gossip, so there were all kinds of rumors flying around. It was everything from you got another job to you did something inappropriate. Don’t worry, girl; I’m not there anymore either.”
“Where do you work now?” Celia asked her.
Phyllis told her, “I’m not working at the moment. I met a guy.” Phyllis’s takeout order was ready, so she hugged Celia and headed out. Phyllis promised to catch up with her later. As Celia watched her walk out, she saw that Phyllis was heading to a Cadillac. In the driver’s seat, she saw an unmistakable face. It was Dr. Smith. They caught a brief glance of each other, and he snickered at Celia before driving away.
Chapter 5
Jerome’s life consisted of his daily activities at Chimera and his evening life with his girlfriend, Mariana. Mariana was a short, light-brown-skinned, dark-haired Dominican. Her family had recently immigrated here and settled in Queens. He met her during one of his weekly outings at the jump clubs in Harlem. The way she dressed attracted him. They hit it off instantly. Mariana and Jerome would venture out every Friday night because both of them loved having a good time. They were partners in clubbing. They attended his family’s church in Harlem, and he had introduced her to his relatives. Mariana and Celia were around the same age. Celia met her when she reconnected with Jerome. The two women would occasionally hang out with each other, and Mariana became the replacement company when Rose moved out of the apartment. Mariana had a day job as a waitress, which meant she could not keep an eye on Jerome twenty-four hours a day. She had to work long hours to earn a decent wage. Jerome occasionally had one-night flings with other women, but he established a full relationship with Mariana. Mariana never found out about his side activities because she was busy with her schedule. They had discussed marrying one day.
John and Edina’s marital home was a penthouse located in upper Manhattan. John went there only sparingly, as the couple fought often. He made sure to pick his separate apartment enough distance away from her. Edina never dared to venture over to his place. She did not want to set him off and have a confrontation in public. She figured she could get him to come home if she wanted him to. This had been the longest time away from home since their wedding. She was curious as to why he would want to spend so much time away from her. In Edina’s eyes, she was a real catch who had lowered herself to be with him. According to her, he should have been more appreciative. Why wouldn’t he want a well-to-do white wife like her? She often thought.
Edina did not work. Her income came from John, and she had her money. John would send money to her to keep her quiet. He had established a marital account and a separate one for himself. The rest of her funds came from her family, who had softened their bitter feelings about her marriage to John. They decided that since she was the only daughter, they should take care of her properly, despite John’s income. Her family still loved and cared for her. Edina took care of the home, which Richard Neutra had inspired, and she had total control of the design. She thought that her tastes were more refined than John’s, so he had no say in the way the home was furnished. She took the time to design the pristine white walls with wood accents in the living and bedroom areas. The kitchen included yellow walls and brown cabinets with wood accents that matched the living room and the rest of the place. It was fully equipped with the latest state-of-the-art chrome-finished appliances. Edina never prepared food. Instead, she ran out and ate with her girlfriends.
She decided that if John stayed around long enough she would learn how to cook things he liked. She only knew traditional cuisine, which directly clashed with the southern dishes that John had been raised on.
The modern furniture reflected current trends in design, and Edina took pride in showing it off whenever she had guests over. In John’s absence, she would tell them about his important job that required him to travel often. The truth was that she had no idea of his whereabouts most times.
Edina’s family often spoke with her about moving away from the city into suburban Westchester for safety. They were concerned about the change in climate in New York City. John loved the city and refused to move to an area that he considered the country. He told her that he was built for city life. Edina did not like New York City that much but had to stay if John stayed. It would not look good for her reputation if she lived on her own. She thought that the city was messy and not charming. Violent crime was on the rise, and she did not feel comfortable walking the streets, especially at night. Edina was critical of the new groups of people who were moving into the area, and she wanted to follow the white flight out of the city. Laws in immigration changed, and the city saw an influx of immigrants from places like Asia, the Caribbean, and Puerto Rico. Edina did not have a lot of knowledge or understanding of such people; in her conversations with her friends,
the discussions about those groups was often prejudiced in tone. Manufacturing jobs started to diminish, which meant that the blue-collar workers that supported the neighborhoods began to weaken financially, leading to high crime and drug-infested streets. The city was a center of national protests about race and the Vietnam War. Edina thought that, unlike her, the students involved in such protests did not have real direction and should focus their energy and time elsewhere.
In the beginning years of the marriage, Edina explained to her parents why she and John did not try again to produce children. Edina often thought of adopting, but John did not support the idea. She had spent time coming up with scenarios on how to get a baby. She took tests, which revealed that she was the problem. Even if John agreed to the adoption, she learned from agencies that they would have a difficult time finding a convincing mixed-race child to pass as their own. She would never tell her family that the possibility might never happen. Instead, she reassured them every time that she and John had chosen not to have kids. Uttering those words hurt her to the core every time. Edina wanted to be a mother. She was often the only one in her circle without a child, so she would instead spend time with her nieces and nephews from her brother and sister-in-law. At the beginning of her marriage, her family suggested an annulment. She knew her rep had diminished with some in the community because she had married a colored man. No respectable white or Jewish man of means would follow that, according to them.
John’s mother and brother were not fond of Edina. Both of them thought that she was a controlling monster who tried to prevent John from associating with his family. John’s side of the family did not attend the ceremony in New York. Edina never made a real effort to assimilate herself into John’s family. Edina felt that they were uncouth and that John was in a different environment now. His mother often had to bite her tongue during the very few interactions that she had with her. Edina had a way of insulting people with a big smile on her face. His brother, Jimmy, refused to speak to her. John’s mother wished for him to move on from Edina but understood the complexity involved in doing so. She often prayed for a change in his situation. John would send his mother jewelry as a token of his appreciation of her and also as a forgive-me gift to her.
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