Teabags & Tears

by Woods, Karen

  Tina now had the women laughing their heads off as she told them the time Sandra shook her husband’s can of coke beyond belief and when he opened it he was covered in it from head to toe. Sandra smiled. “I’ve done some great things to pay him back, ladies. If I would have just kept my mouth shut and never written it in my fucking diary I could have finished him off.” The women hung on her every word and discussed the charges she faced.

  The hour of association was soon up and the women headed back to their cells. Sandra lay on her bed and looked at the prison issue letter and wondered who she should send it too. Her parents had disowned her so there was no point in writing to them. She knew her dad hadn’t fallen out with her but he was ruled by her mother and wouldn’t dare cross her. Should she write to her kids or should she pour out her feelings out to James. Finger shoved inside her mouth she asked Tina her thoughts on it.

  “Write to James love. I’m not being funny or owt but your John or Paul won’t be arsed writing back to you. At least James will.”

  Sandra paused for a minute. “Yeah you’re right. The lads will come up on a visit, they won’t be arsed with any writing. I’ll write to James then.” Stroking the lined white paper in front of her she lay on her bed, she was struggling to find the words at first. The words she wanted to say were stuck inside her heart and she couldn’t bring them up to the surface.

  The letter was tossed aside for now. Sleep was more important and Sandra snuggled into her bed pulling her white quilt over her body. Tina was drifting off to sleep too. Darkness fell and the women were sound asleep.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The weeks passed and Kevin was making a full recovery. The media attention had died down now and all he had left was a few hundred quid from selling his story. The house felt lonely as he sat watching a film. His kids barely spoke to him anymore and he knew they hated him, especially Paul. His debt was still being paid off and his own flesh and blood was running here, there and everywhere trying to end his debt to the dealers.

  Zac had been in touch when he’d heard of Kevin making a few extra quid from the media stories but Kevin hid away from him like a scared animal. Zac wasn’t happy with Kevin and he’d arranged to meet him later that day to discuss how he was going to pay the debt off more rapidly. His arse was flapping at the thought of another beating from the heavy mob.

  John sat in his room injecting heroin. Nobody but a few friends knew he was now a baghead. His youth seemed to be disappearing right in front of his eyes and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it anymore. He was a junkie. John sat in his room listening to NDUBZ. The drugs had just hit his veins and he’d fallen back onto his bed. The posters on the wall of David Beckham stared back at him and he remembered when all he wanted in life was to become a professional footballer. His dream had been to play for Manchester United... His eyes seemed to sink to the back of his head. John’s clothes hung from his body. As he wriggled about his t-shirt rolled up over his stomach. You could see his ribcage. There was more fat on a chip. If he’d turned sideways you would have reported him missing he was that thin. All the signs of drug use was scattered about his bedroom. Nobody ever came into his room these days and he felt safe that no one would ever know his seedy secret. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs didn’t cause him to stir. He was oblivious to anything around him.

  Kevin waddled up the stairs. His penis was still sore and he still felt like he had a hot poker between his legs. Hearing music from his son’s room made him halt. His head looked towards John’s room. Grabbing the handle on the door he paused. His face looked as if he was debating his next move. His fingers gripped the handle on the door and slowly he twisted it until the door opened slightly. He was half expecting his son to shout for him to get out of his room. That’s what he’d done in the past but today he heard no noise.

  The carpet stopped the door opening any further. It was a job he should have fixed months before but couldn’t be arsed doing it. The door needed planing down after the new carpets were fitted but he never seemed to find the time. With one hard push he opened the door fully. His eyes stared about the room. “Scruffy twat” he mumbled. Sandra was always telling him in the past that the lads needed to clean their rooms more often but he always thought she was overreacting. Looking around the bedroom he shook his head as he walked further inside. “Ay John you scruffy cunt. Get this room sorted out. It’s a shit tip in here.” There was no reply. Walking to his son’s bedside he kicked at the base of the bed. “Do you hear me or what?” John now turned round and struggled to see who was talking. Kevin looked at him closer. He looked like death warmed up. He sat down next to him on the bed and dragged him up by his clothes towards his face. “Are you fucking stoned again? You need to get a grip and curb smoking that shit all day long.” John jerked his body away from him. Kevin now turned to leave but his eyes focused on the hypodermic needle at the side of the bed. There was brown liquid left in it at the bottom. Gripping the needle he looked anxious. His eyes now scanned the floor area and there it was before his own eyes. His son was using heroin.

  “John!” he screamed at the top of his voice. “John you prick. You better wake up now or I’ll fucking waste you.” John turned his body slowly. Spit hung in the corner of his mouth and he slowly tried to wipe it with his scrawny hands. “What the fuck is this?” Kevin picked up a needle as John tried to focus. Thrusting the pin towards John’s face, Kevin started shouting. “Please tell me you’re not injecting heroin!” His hands pulled at his hair as he paced the floor in the bedroom. John just lay lifeless still trying to focus.

  Kevin lifted the net curtain and stared through the bedroom window. He could be heard huffing. Suddenly he ran back at John and dragged him up from the bed. “You fucking prick. You know what heroin does to people and you’re fucking injecting it. You’re a daft twat! How long have you been on it?” John sucked on his lips and he looked like he was in slow motion. He struggled to speak. Kevin launched his fist into his face causing him to fall back on the bed. His voice was hysterical as he screamed at him again. “How long have you been taking this shit?” John shrugged his shoulders. His dad now grabbed his face, squeezing his cheeks together in his hands. “You must fucking know how long you’ve been on it. Don’t take the piss out of me. I said how fucking long?” John crumbled. “Since you’ve have been selling it.” His voice was shaky and he looked scared. He’d seen his father’s temper in the past and knew he wouldn’t think twice about smashing his head in.

  Kevin dragged him up and shoved him towards the bathroom. He dragged him to the mirror and held it there as he ranted. “Look at the fucking state of you. You silly bastard. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Look John, look at the state of you!” John tried to focus in the mirror but Kevin knew he was fighting a losing battle. His son was off his head and he didn’t give a fuck about anything. Kevin looked at the water left in the bath from earlier. He dragged him to it and shoved his head beneath the water. John struggled but his dad held his head firmly under the water. He lifted him up for a few seconds before shoving him back down again. John was struggling for breath and his body was jerking about trying to break free. Kevin’s hands were shaking and he knew he had to stop before he killed him. John was soaking wet as he dragged him back to his bedroom. Throwing him back inside Kevin ran downstairs.

  John tried to regain his breath. He was a mess. He could hear the downstairs door banging. He needed to get out of the house as soon as possible. Dragging his wet clothes from his body he searched for some clean ones to put on. His head was inside the wardrobe but he froze as he heard someone at the bedroom door. Kevin was now stood with a hammer in one hand and some long nails in the other. John tried to grab some clothes but his dad kicked him to the floor. Rolling about in just his boxer shorts Kevin dragged the set of pine drawers behind the door. Pushing it securely behind it he gave John another kick on the way as he passed. Kevin lifted the net curtain right up and grabbed several large nails from the side. His face l
ooked mad as he hammered each nail deep inside the window frame.

  “You won’t be going anywhere now will you sonny boy?” John sat shivering from head to toe. His body was covered in goose pimples and his teeth were chattering together. “You fucking dirty smack head. Haven’t I brought you up better than this?” His movement stopped as he carried on speaking to his son. “My own son a heroin addict!” he gasped.

  John didn’t reply and grabbed his quilt cover from his bed. Wrapping it around his shoulders he drew his knees up to his chest. Tears filled his eyes and his bottom lip shook as he let rip at his father. “You brought me up to hit women dad. What father gives their son drugs to sell? You don’t give a fuck about no one but yourself. Look what you have done to my mam.”

  Kevin jumped from the window ledge. He was frothing from the mouth. “You cheeky cunt. What do you mean by that?”

  John swayed as he pulled himself from his bed. With the quilt fixed firmly round his neck he answered. ”Exactly what I said. You’ve treated my mam like shit for years and you deserve everything she’s done to you. I mean you shagged her own sister. You skank!” Kevin wrestled him to the bed. His hands lunged into his son’s face. Blood was splurging all over the walls and as Kevin moved away from the bed you could see John was the one who was injured. Screams filled the room. Kevin slammed the bedroom door behind him and left his son struggling for breath.

  Within seconds you could hear banging on the bedroom door. John kept his head under the covers. As the hammering noise continued he peeped from his bed. He could now see the end of silver nails coming through the side of the door. As he ran to the door he tried to open it with frantic hands. He realised that he was now a prisoner in his own room. He screamed like a wounded animal. “Dad, dad, please.” The hammering continued but no one answered him. His body keeled over behind the door and he raised his knees up to his chest as he wrapped them in his arms. “Please dad. I’ll sort it out, let me out please.” John sobbed rocking to and fro banging the back of his head on the door.

  Kevin marched down the stairs like a mad man. The hammer was still held tightly in his grip as he pummelled it against the walls in temper. “Bastard, bastard, bastard” he ranted. Entering the front room he fell to his knees. The pain in his loins seemed to disappear and the pain he felt in his heart seemed a lot worse. Banging from upstairs could be heard and he could hear the voice of his son pleading with him to set him free. Covering his ears with both hands, he tried to drown out John’s call for freedom.

  Kevin cried like a baby. “Why, why,”? he sobbed. The front door could now be heard opening. Jumping up from the floor he dried his eyes trying to hide his pain.

  Paul stood at the doorway looking shocked. Looking at his father he could instantly tell something was wrong. “What’s going on dad? What’s up?”

  Kevin fell into his chair and held his head in his trembling hands. A loud banging noise filled the room and Paul looked at his dad as he heard the noise from upstairs. “Will you tell me what’s going on or what?” Paul started to walk out of the room as the voice of his brother calling him made him look distressed.

  Kevin jumped up from the chair and grabbed Paul by his shoulder. “Leave him where he is.”

  Paul scowled. He’d witnessed fights between his father and brother in the past but nothing as bad as this. “What’s he done now?”

  Kevin chewed on his bottom lip and Paul slowly came back into the front room to listen. Paul urged him to speak. He was shouting now in desperation. “Dad fucking tell me. What’s wrong?” Kevin’s eyes looked dead inside. Holding his stomach area he looked like he was going to spew his ring up.

  “He’s on gear” he mumbled. You could tell by Paul’s face that he didn’t understand.

  “What do you mean he’s on gear?”

  Kevin snapped. “Fucking smack, brown, heroin, you dickhead. Your brother is a junkie.”

  Paul’s eyes opened wide as he covered his mouth in disbelief. “No way dad, stop lying, tell me the truth.”

  Another squealing voice came from upstairs. Paul looked at his dad and made his way up the stairs with Kevin running behind him.

  “He’s a smackhead Paul. He’s going nowhere until he is clean.”

  Paul stood at the bedroom door shouting. “Our kid, are you okay?” John could now be heard.

  “No Paul I’m not, the fucking nutter has locked me in here; he’s nailed the windows down as well. Please get me out of here.” Paul looked at his father. You could tell he didn’t know who was telling the truth. He blew a hard breath and walked about the landing thinking. Kevin sat on the top stair as Paul spoke with his brother again.

  “Are you on gear John? Dad’s saying you are. Just tell me the truth and I’ll help you.” The silence seemed to last forever before John sobbed.

  “I’ve only had it a few times Paul. That prick thinks I’m an addict or summit.” Paul felt sick as his face fell. The thought of his brother being a junkie made his skin crawl. He rubbed at his arms as if he felt dirty. He struggled to speak. Looking at the sadness in his father’s eyes he knew it was true. Paul now ran to the bathroom. You could hear him retching into the toilet bowl. When he came out he was wiping his mouth. Tears filled his eyes as he barged past his father. Kevin followed him downstairs.

  Paul reached for the TV remote. As he flicked through the channels he looked at his dad who was now sat facing him. “It’s all your fucking fault, yanno. You better get my mam out of nick. We need her here to sort this mess out.” Kevin knew he was right but it had all gone too far now. He’d sold his story and imprisoned his wife and never thought for one minute that it would affect his family this much. His mobile phone now started ringing. As he looked at the screen, Tracy’s name flashed. She’d been phoning him endlessly for weeks. He knew sooner or later he would have to speak to her. She was carrying his child after all and there was no getting away from the fact. He would have to speak to her, but not now. Kevin left the phone ringing and placed the pillow over it to silence the repeating ring tone.

  “Dad do you hear me? We need my mam here. You need to sort it!” Paul stood up and walked up to his father. You could see his temper boiling and by the look on his face he was thinking of revenge on his father. Kevin just sat shaking his head. The media stuff all seemed right at the time and now it had hit home he started to regret phoning the police on his wife. Huffing he grabbed his coat from the side.

  “I’m doing fuck all. Your mother is a crank and she deserves jail!” Paul didn’t have a chance to argue back with him, he was gone and the sound of the front door slamming could be heard.

  Kevin walked to the car. Grabbing his phone from his pocket he dialled Tracy’s number. As he spoke to her you could tell by his voice he was upset. “Yeah it’s me. Meet me at The Hip pub in about five minutes. Right okay, see you there.” Throwing his phone on the passenger seat he set off. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. His life was a sham. Looking at his eyes in the rear view mirror he didn’t recognise himself anymore.

  Pulling into the pub car park he could see Tracy waiting anxiously. “Fucking tart” he whispered under her breath. Once the engine stopped, she walked quickly to the car and sat inside. “Fucking hell, face of thunder. What’s up with you?”

  “Nowt why?” Kevin snarled.

  Tracy pulled the mirror down and started checking her make-up. “I’m just saying you look angry or summat.” He wanted to throw her out of the car there and then but he desperately needed some loving. He grabbed her and kissed her. As he kissed her there was no passion involved just a hunger for some affection. He was just another rampant male searching for some quick fanny. Tracy welcomed him and gave him the attention he required. He wanted some sex and told her straight he wanted to shag her brains out. Tracy smiled. Her hand stroked his cock as he tried to fight off the pain he felt inside. His cock was nowhere near ready to be used and he felt frustrated. Tracy looked at him with an endearing look she knew he was in pain.

  “Is the
beast ready for action yet?”

  He wanted to say yes but he was in pain and he knew sex was a million miles away. Tracy hugged him. “We can just spend time together. We don’t have to have sex. I mean it has to heal dunnit?” He looked angry as he yelled back at her.

  “I know it has to heal, you daft twat, but when? It’s been months now?”

  She felt rejected and moved back over to her seat. “It’s not my fucking fault you know? Look what the barm pot done to me. You can’t see me moaning can you?”

  She looked hurt. Kevin turned the key in the ignition. “Where do you wanna go then? Don’t think I’m walking around some park with you being all lovey dovey. It’s not my game.”

  Tracy looked out of the car window. She fidgeted around and swept her hair back from her face. “I’m not arsed.” Kevin drove out of the car park with a cob on. He could see her hand stroking her stomach. He looked disappointed.

  *

  Maxine was like a blue-arsed fly. She couldn’t rest knowing her friends were locked up. She’d booked a visit for later on that day and she hoped she would have some news to tell the girls if everything went to plan.

  Stood waiting outside The Broadway pub in New Moston her eyes focused on every car that went passed. She’d arranged to meet Zac here. Maxine had been friends with him for a long time. She’s put him onto some good jobs in the past and he always treated her with cash from successful grafts. She never let on that she was the one who sold his last grow from Kevin because, after all, he was loaded and would never miss the money. She was a snidey cow.