by Woods, Karen
Tracy was wearing a small pair of shorts that obviously didn’t fit her anymore. Her stomach hung over the shorts and she looked huge. Her breasts were two large mounds that stood on her chest like a small mountain range. Pulling her face she moved her legs for Kevin to sit down. Tracy could see there was something on his mind because he sat quietly and that wasn’t like him.
“What’s up?” she moaned.
He turned to her and placed his hand on her bare leg. “Erm,” he said struggling to find the words. Tracy’s parents were waiting on his next words and he could feel their eyes burning into his head. “I’ve just been to drop the charges on Sandra. And I think you should do the same for Tina.”
Tracy bolted up from the sofa. “Are you having a fucking laugh or what?”
Kevin expected this reaction and tried to calm her down. “She’s my wife and I feel bad, the kids need her.” He sunk his head down knowing she would feel sorry for him. Forcing tears into his eyes he snivelled. “Tracy, Sandra’s been through a lot, we’re together now no matter what. Don’t you think that’s enough punishment for her?”
Tracy sat back down. Her mother was now at the side of her stroking her hair. “He’s right love. We all know she’s been a silly cow but she’s your sister and you’ve hurt her too.”
Tracy blew through her mouth. Chewing her fingernails she turned to Kevin. “Fair enough but Tina and Maxine shouldn’t have got involved in it. They drugged me and tattooed my face are you forgetting what them mental cunts did to me?”
Kevin held her hand and looked deep into her eyes. He could always win her over and once he showed her a bit of affection he knew she would be butter in his hands. “I just want it to be over. How can we move on with our lives with this hanging over our heads? Let’s make a break for it. Drop the charges and move away. We’re having a baby now and this is our time not theirs.”
A smile appeared on her face and she held her head high. He was telling her they would move away together and be a family. That was all she ever wanted. So what, she’d stolen her sister’s husband. As long as she was happy that was all that mattered? “Okay I’ll do it,” Tracy said at last, “I better not get into any trouble.” Kevin smiled, he was a devious bastard. Tracy’s dad sat watching him eagerly. He’d always known what kind of man he was, but just sat back and went with the flow. Kevin had already hurt one of his daughters and now he’d moved onto the next. He was chomping at the bit to twat him, he reminded him so much of someone from his own past.
Tracy looked happy. She kept placing Kevin’s hand across her stomach. “Orrr Kevin it’s kicking! Feel it here.” Kevin couldn’t feel a thing, his eyes raised to the ceiling as she kept his hand there for ages. His mobile phone started to ring and he removed his hand from her stomach quickly. Walking out of the front room they all listened to his conversation especially Graham. He was watching the sly fucker like a hawk. When he came back into the room he told Tracy he had to go out and that he had business to sort out. Her face sank, but once he told her he would be straight back she seemed okay. She was an irritating bitch. Standing up to kiss him, her parents watched. Her father pulled a face and his wife nudged him knowing exactly what he was thinking.
Once he’d gone, he whispered to his wife so Tracy couldn’t hear. “Business my arse . He’s probably got another woman on the go. Once a womaniser, always a womaniser. I’m onto him don’t you worry and when I catch him I’ll do more than Super glue his fucking dick.” Tracy turned to hear the conversation but her mother changed it straight away. She didn’t want her darling daughter getting upset for anything. She’d been through enough already.
Kevin was running through the estate. His breathing was frantic. He’d not been to the gym for ages and his fitness level had dropped. Getting to the meeting place he could see Big John in the distance. Standing still he checked the area, heading to a nearby bush he hid behind it. “Come on you little fucker” he mumbled. His breathing was calming down now and his eyes were peeping from the bush like a sniper waiting for the enemy. Big John could be seen stood near a wall. He looked dodgy as fuck; if the police would have driven by he would have been nicked without a shadow of doubt, because it was obvious what he was up to.
Kevin heard footsteps at the other side of the bush. As he dipped his body completely out of sight he saw his son walking past. John was acting as if he’d shit his pants. Leaping from his hideout Kevin pounced on him and dragged him to the floor. John was screaming and didn’t realise it was his dad who was attacking him. Big John now ran over and helped Kevin pull his son out of view. That’s all they needed a fucking scene. He was screaming like a girl so Big John covered his mouth with his big fat fingers. “Shut the fuck up ya crying fucker” he yelled. Kevin’s teeth were showing now and you could see the rage all across his face. He looked like the incredible hulk.
Dragging his son to an entry at the side of them he pinned him up against the wall and yelled into his face. “Don’t ever think you can take the piss out of me. I told you I would find you didn’t I? Now I’ll show you what the big men are all about.” Scanning the area his eyes focused on a large piece of wood. It looked like it used to belong to someone’s fence. He told Big John to hold him while he went to get it. John was still wriggling about trying to break free. Kevin returned. His eyes looked menacing. Pausing for a minute he told Big John to move his body out of the way. Swinging the piece of wood he attacked his son’s legs. You could hear every whack he gave him and John fell to the floor in severe pain. “You won’t run away now will you? You bell-end!” Big John helped carry him to his car. He told Kevin he’d drop him off at home with his son. John was screaming in pain as they tossed his bony body into the back of the car. Kevin sat next to him and kept his son’s head firmly pushed onto the seat.
The screams from his son could be heard and it was heartbreaking to watch. Kevin knew this was his mess and he’d planned to right his wrong. If he hadn’t have been selling heroin this would never have happened. His face was white with anger. He decided he would sit with his son round the clock until he was clean. He told Big John this too and you could tell by his face he meant every word.
*
Sandra sat at the table in the visitor’s room wearing a red bib. Lots of other inmates were on the visit and she was watching all the goings on around her. The inmates looked so happy to see their loved ones and you could see the pain of being locked up away from their family inside in their eyes. The woman at the side of her was sat nurturing her child. You could hear the little girl saying “Mummy when are you coming home?” Sandra felt emotional and missed her own boys, not once had they written or been to see her, her heart was broken in two.
Visits were the highlight of any convict’s day. She knew a lot of women would be getting things into the prison today because she’d heard one inmate explaining to another just how she planned to conceal it. Drugs were still getting into the prisons every day and some of the stories she’d heard would send shivers down your spine. One woman told her she would swallow the drugs once her boyfriend had passed them to her during a kiss and then she’d just wait until she had a shit later on to get them out. Sandra had looked shocked and the woman had to explain the whole process of searching your shit to get the drugs you required. Prison life was hard and Sandra hated every minute of it. A woman now sat down at her table and Sandra smiled as Jenny introduced herself. Jenny recognised her straight away from her picture in the newspaper.
“Thanks so much for seeing me Sandra. I didn’t think you would.”
Sandra shook her hand and smiled. The journalist now asked her if she wanted something to eat from the canteen. Looking at her she smiled and just asked for a coffee. Jenny walked away and Sandra sat alone tapping her fingers on the table. This woman was her last hope of telling the truth and when she came back to the table she planned to pour her heart out to her.
“Oh it’s hot. Watch your hands,” Jenny giggled, as she passed her the drink. With the journalist seated, it
was like they had known each other for years and the conversation never stopped. “I know bits of the things your husband has done to you, but it would be better if you told me your side of things and then we can take it from there.”
Sandra took a slow sip from her drink. Her face looked serious. “I don’t know where to start Jenny, do you want to know how he was as a husband?”
“Yeah let’s start there if you don’t mind?” Jenny nodded.
Sandra gripped her arms and rubbed at them. “He was always a wanker. I just didn’t see it at the time; I was the fat girl that no one ever took much notice of.”
Jenny reached over and stroked her arm. “Orr don’t say that sweetheart you’re lovely.”
“I suppose when Kevin took an interest in me I was over the moon,” Sandra continued, “everyone fancied him and he was hot I can tell you!” Sandra chuckled. “I got myself pregnant on purpose you know?” Jenny sat back in her chair she was intrigued by her honesty. “When I got pregnant I knew he would have to marry me. He’s like that, he likes to do the right thing plus my dad was threatening to do him in if he didn’t do right by me.” Jenny smiled and started to eat her bar of chocolate. She hung on Sandra’s every word “Things were great at first but slowly day by day he was destroying me. He called me fat. He called our sex life, everything in fact. And it wasn’t long before I felt worthless. I put loads of weight on you know?”
Jenny jumped in she knew exactly what she meant. “We all put weight on after child birth. I was like a fucking sumo wrestler after having my two.” She giggled.
Sandra was so funny and she made Jenny smile with her bluntness. “I think I knew he was cheating on me but I could never admit it to myself, he was all I had. Even sex with him was crap. He just used to roll on top of me and empty his load. The cheeky fucker told me I was a fat cunt and said I was lucky to get sex because I didn’t turn him on anymore.”
Jenny looked shocked. “Why did you let him speak to you like that?”
Sandra didn’t hesitate with her answer. “Because I needed him Jenny, he was the best thing I had in my life. I mean other than the kids, he was my prize and even though I didn’t win him fairly he was still, all I had.” Sandra filled up and a single tear rolled onto her cheek. As she wiped it away she took a deep breath and continued. “He treated me like a slave. Even removing his plate from the table was my job. He didn’t lift a fucking finger. I did tell him I was sick of it and that’s when the bastard started hurting me. I thought it was just a one off but how wrong was I? It became a regular occurrence. I became his punchbag. He beat me black and blue many a night.” Jenny suggested they had a break as she looked upset but Sandra declined and continued. “I hid it well and no one ever knew the truth. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors do they?”
Jenny was hanging on her every word. She encouraged her to continue. “So tell me about the affair with your sister, how did that happen?”
Sandra gritted her teeth and flexed her fingers in front of her. She was fuming and her payback to her slag of a sister was far from over. As she spoke Jenny could see the anger in her face. ”She’s a dirty little tart. And she’ll get what’s coming to her trust me. She’s always been the same since being a kid. It’s my mother’s fault, she treated her like a princess. I was always the fat kid at the back that no one noticed.” Jenny shook her head from side to side. She could tell this woman had endured so much pain in the past and she promised herself she would do all she could to help her. Sandra continued in a cocky tone. “After years of abuse I just couldn’t take it anymore. Kevin shagging my sister was the last straw so to speak. That’s when I started to do things to pay him back.” Jenny was on the edge of her seat. It was like watching a film and if she would have had any popcorn she would have sat munching it as the story unfolded.
This was what Jenny was waiting for; Sandra smiled cunningly and giggled, “I’ve always done little things to him like spitting on his food and shrinking his clothes on purpose. But when I found out he was a lying cheating bastard I suppose I just went wild. I hated him with a passion you know?” Jenny loved her outlook on life and told her she would get her story all over the media. She urged her to continue as the visit was nearly over and she wanted all the dirt on her cheating husband. “I used to shake his canned drinks before I gave them to him. Once he opened it, I would watch as it went all over his expensive clothes. I pissed laughing every time you know” Her face looked sad as she told her the consequences she had to pay for her actions. “Yeah he would kick my fucking head in after it, but I didn’t give a shit. I became immune to any pain he gave me and to see him upset was worth any beatings he gave me. I put hair remover in his shampoo but he deserved it. He loved his fucking hair so that was the only way I could hurt him. He was a proper vain cunt and to take that away from him put a smile all over my face every day.”
Jenny listened for the last twenty minutes of the visit and before it was over she had enough evidence on Kevin to ruin him. The screw now came over to the table and told them to finish the visit. Jenny stood up and looked at the inmate. “Sandra you are a very strong woman and I know I can help you. Too many women out there are living with domestic violence and they too think they are alone. I’m going to do a big campaign to bring awareness and hopefully your case will show just how bad things are for some women.”
She quickly rolled her jeans up over her ankle. At the side of her foot she showed Sandra her new tattoo. “It says ‘Carpe Diem’. I’ve been a victim of abuse myself you know and these words on my foot mean so much to me. Just as they do to you. Every time I look at them I know I’m not alone in what I’ve been through, and I’ll never ever put myself in that position again.” Jenny hugged Sandra, she told her to watch out in the national newspapers for stories about domestic violence. Jenny told Sandra she would be working with her solicitor to get her out of prison as soon as possible. Sandra reminded her about her co-accused Tina. Jenny told her she was working for the pair of them and not to worry. As she left she raised her arm in the air and shouted “Carpe Diem.” Sandra smiled and sat back at her table waiting to go back to her cell.
Watching all the visitors go home made her feel sad. There was an ache deep inside her chest and she could feel her eyes filling up. Her life was in such a mess and it felt like just at that moment, everything had come to head. Sobbing, she dug her head into her folded arms on the table. Her tears were like a river of sadness. The woman from the next table stood up and rubbed her head softly. “Come on love. It gets better with time you know and before long you will be home.”
Sandra lifted her head and looked at the inmate. “I know love, I know, it’s just that today it all seems to have hit home where I am. I’m such a fool aren’t I?” The lady went back to her table and listened as the screw told them all to make their way back to be searched.
As they entered the small room they could hear a commotion. A woman could now be seen being dragged out of it by two guards. She was angry as she told them to “take their fucking dirty hands” off her. Sandra looked behind her at the other inmates. They seemed oblivious to it and it didn’t bother them.
“What’s going on?” Sandra asked a woman in front of her.
The convict covered her mouth as she spoke. “She’s been caught with a parcel or summat. They are taking her down the block.”
Sandra shook her head. “Fucking get me out of here” she mumbled under her breath.
Returning back to her cell Tina was waiting for her. As soon as she sat down she was on her. “Come on what did she say, is it good news?” Sandra wasn’t in the mood for talking and lay onto her bed grabbing the bedding over her body. Her eyes looked swollen and Tina thought Jenny was full of bullshit.
“I knew she was chatting shit. Why did I even think Jenny could help us? She’s just like everyone else. Full of fucking shit.”
Sandra stopped her dead in her tracks. “No love, she’s gonna help us both. She is trying to get our story all over the media u
sing domestic violence stories. She said she’s going to work with the solicitor on our case. So it’s not all doom and gloom is it?”
Tina looked confused and placed her hands on her hips. “Well if she said she’s going to help us, why is your face like fucking Chief Black cloud?” Sandra rolled over to face the wall. Tina could see her shoulders shaking; she sat on the edge of her bed and placed her hand onto Sandra’s waist. “Orr come on chick. What’s to do with you? Talk to me will you?” There was no reply. Tina lay next to her now and held her, as the tears continued. “We’re gonna be alright yanno. You’re just having a bad day that’s all.”
“A fucking bad day,” Sandra screamed “it’s the worst time in my life, I’ve lost my kids, my husband, I can’t see them queuing up to come and visit me can you? My mother’s disowned me. So don’t tell me everything is gonna be alright. We’re fucked Tina and the sooner we get used to that the better!”
Tina held her and spoke into her face as her hands trembled. “Just calm down will ya. I know you’re upset but we can get through this together. Trust me love, everything gonna be sweet.” Sandra didn’t reply. The night hour set in and they both lay in each other’s arms terrified of the days that lay ahead.
Every day that passed in prison was more or less the same. Tina had a new friend Penny and everyone knew Penny wanted Tina as her girlfriend, Sandra was always joking with her and telling her she was Penny’s bitch, but she just took it on the chin and laughed it off. “I’m fucking fed up not hard up” was her reply to all the jokes Sandra threw at her.
Jenny had been in touch constantly over the last few months and today was the day the domestic violence story was set to be in the paper. Jenny had changed Sandra’s name to avoid any mither from the police. If they found out Jenny had been to see Sandra in jail she would have been in deep shit. Walking out of her cell Sandra made her way to collect a newspaper. As she walked up she could see the women looking at her. As she neared, they all started clapping and cheering. “Fuck me Sandra, you’re all over the news papers.” Sandra cast her eyes over the paper the inmate was holding up. Once she saw the story she giggled. Sandra sat down and she read every word that Jenny wrote. The girl had done well; she’d done exactly what she said she would. Sandra was a victim of domestic violence and now everyone knew what women put up with when they had abusive partners.
