Teabags & Tears

by Woods, Karen

  Kerry was still furious telling everybody they must do more to end this reign of terror on women. Jenny smiled at the woman; she was about fifty and looked like she’d been through the mill. Her eyes looked sad and the lines across her face told Jenny this woman had seen some hard times.

  “Hello love,” Jenny said with a smile on her face. The woman smiled softly and said hello back to her. “Are you a friend of Sandra’s honey? I’ve been covering her case and trying my best to help her.”

  The woman shook her head slowly. Her words were low and full of sorrow. “I hope someone does help her, I wouldn’t look like this if someone would have helped me.”

  Jenny was like a dog with a bone now. “Why, what’s up with the way you look?” Jenny looked at her up and down and knew the woman was right. Her clothes hung from her scrawny body and she looked like every drop of life had been sucked out of her. “You look great,” Jenny lied.

  “Are you having a laugh love? I have eyes you know. She giggled. “When I look in the mirror each day I see what that husband of mine did to me and I hate myself for letting it happen.”

  Jenny placed her arm on the woman’s shoulder. Her voice was sympathetic towards her. “Why what happened to you?”

  The woman was a bit cagey at first and pulled her arm to bring her closer. “My husband did this to my face; don’t tell me you can’t see the scar.” Jenny cast her eyes to her right cheek. There it was in full view.

  She looked closer, “Bloody hell sweetheart, why did he do that?”

  The woman shook her head and held it back as she sighed. “Phew I wish I knew, he was pissed as usual and just sliced my face with a Stanley knife. He said I deserved it for making his life a misery.” The woman softly touched her cheek; her fingers seem to be soothing her scar. Her face now turned to Jenny. “That’s life isn’t it love, I should be glad to still be alive shouldn’t I?”

  Jenny looked startled. The lives of all these women she’d met lately were really making her feel sick. Each of them had a story to tell and each incident was as bad as the next. Jenny whispered to the woman. She was lost for words at her ordeal and struggled to speak. “Carpe Diem sweetheart. You’re a survivor. Don’t ever forget that.”

  The woman quickly slid her black scruffy shoe from her foot. “Look I spent my job-seekers allowance on it. I’ve not got a pot to piss in but I wanted to be part of something.”

  Jenny gazed at her the foot. She chuckled. There it was in small writing on the side of her foot. ‘Carpe Diem’ it read. The woman now said goodbye and joined Kerry who was still putting the world to rights. Jenny left the courtroom, she needed a cig. This was all getting too much for her. Whatever happened to her normal life, she mumbled as she left the woman’s side?

  Sandra sat inside her cell yet again. She could hear Tina shouting. “What’s going on Sandra? Did you get slammed or what?”

  Cupping her two hands up to her mouth she shouted back, “I’ve got to back in a bit for sentencing. I got a guilty verdict.” Sandra listened for her to reply but it never came. Tapping her fingers on her knees she rested her head on the cold wall. Gliding her fingers over the painted grey brickwork she looked as if she was trying to contact the dead, as her eyes were firmly closed, concentrating.

  Prison life had taken its toll on her and she dreaded returning back to serve her sentence. Sandra was questioning her own strength. She looked like she was having a panic attack. She paced the floor and dragged at her hair. Dropping to the ground she started blowing her breath rapidly from her mouth. Small droplets of sweat were visible on her forehead. “Please God; please don’t let me go back to prison, I’m not strong enough, Please help me.” Sandra was a Catholic girl and had gone to church regularly as a child. Since being an adult she’d lost all her faith and stopped going to church. Her words to her mother in the past were “God has given up on me so what’s the point.” She needed help now and the only person who could help her was the big man in the sky. She crossed herself, she was shaking. Wrapping her arms closely around her she squeezed herself tightly. Her fate was minutes away.

  The judge re-entered the courtroom. The usher had already warned the people in the public gallery that if there was one squeak out of them they would be out of the courtroom in an instant. Judge Cassidy sat. Sandra was a mess. Her father looked over at her and mouthed “I love you, you’ll be fine.” Anita didn’t see him and he looked like he was going to cry. The members of the court now prepared themselves for sentencing. You could hear the prosecution taking bets on how long she would get. They didn’t care about her one little bit. It was someone’s life they were talking about not a horse race and if anyone would have heard them they would have been in big trouble. The judge twisted his pen in his fingers. No one could see his movements as his hands were out of sight. He was nervous. He was aware of how much publicity this case had had and he didn’t want to let anyone down. Judge Cassidy had taken a long time to find the right sentence for Sandra and her crimes. The defendant was now asked to stand before the court.

  “Sandra Partington,” he began, “taking into account that your husband has withdrawn his statement…” Everyone was on the edge of their seats and Maxine was chewing her fingernails as if her life depended on it. The judge continued. His voice was firm. “…I have decided to sentence you two year’s suspended sentence, forty hours community service and an anger management placement order.” Sandra heard the two years but didn’t understand what it meant. Maxine was smiling over at her. Sandra looked confused as she held her hands up at the side of her face. The judge now explained his sentence so she fully understood. “This means if you break the law at any time during the next two years you will be recalled to serve two years in prison plus whatever you get sentenced for the crime you have committed.” Sandra looked relieved as he continued. “The anger management course will help you control the temper you have developed and make you think of the consequences you will face, if you carry out any more of these ridiculous acts.” Sandra stood, taking in all the information she been was given. She was a free woman. The Group Four guards escorted her from the dock back to the holding cells. As she left the courtroom she punched her tightly squeezed fist in the air. “Get in there” she mumbled.

  The atmosphere in the courtroom was electric. The onlookers were all smiling and loved that Sandra was now a free woman.

  A short time later Tina entered the dock and the room fell silent again. Tina wafted her hand in front of her face. Her cheeks looked on fire. She’d pleaded guilty to her role in the kidnap and the drugging of Tracy. They had too much evidence on her and her solicitor had told her point blank that if she pleaded guilty she would get a third knocked off her sentence. Tracy sat down and waited for the judge to return. Twisting her hair about in her fingers she looked as if she was going to break.

  The judge now returned. The look on his face gave her little hope. He looked pissed off and in a bad mood. Reading from his notes he reviewed the case history and reminded Tina what she was being sentenced for. As he told her to stand up her legs buckled and she had to use the chair at the side of her to help her to her feet. Everything just went so quickly and when he told her she was being sentenced to three years and eight months in prison she collapsed. The guard looked flustered as he tried to revive her.

  The women in the courtroom were gasping for air. Once they’d brought Tina back around she sat sipping a cold drink of water as the judge continued speaking to her. Her face now boiled with temper. After all she had nothing to lose now because the grumpy bastard had already sentenced her. She threw her plastic cup to the floor and stood up with her face squashed up against the glass. Everyone watched as she opened fire. “You miserable twat, what’s up, didn’t you get a leg over last night you grumpy wrinkled fucker!” Giggles could be heard from the spectators in the public gallery. Maxine knew her friend had a temper and cringed as she listened to her continue as they dragged her out of the courtroom. “You know fuck all about the laws of life; you�
��re up your own arse, never wanted for owt in your life I bet, well fuck you and fuck your sentence I’ll do it on my head.” The dock was now empty. All the members of the public started to leave. They were all talking amongst themselves. James thanked Jenny and hugged her, she told him where to go to meet Sandra. With a spring in his step he ran all the way to meet her.

  Anita left the courtroom with an angry face with Graham following closely behind her. He was over the moon his daughter was free and knew Anita was upset that she didn’t get a custodial sentence. She was a bitch and he hated the woman she’d become. For years she’d abused his love and always spoke to him as if he wasn’t good enough for her. They’d had their problems in the past but for some reason he always stood by her no matter how much shit she gave him.

  Tina was kicking and screaming as they launched her into the cell. “Take your fucking hands off me. You fucking dirty pervert, what is it ay? Do you want a quick feel of a real woman?” The door was slammed behind her. Banging her clenched fist on the steel door she shouted abuse at the male guard. “Bet your wife is at home taking it up the arse from your neighbour. I don’t blame her seeking a real man because all you lot are fucking dinner mashers, you gay fuckers!” She screamed. With one last hard kick on the door she walked to the back wall. She sank to the floor like butter melting onto toast. Her body was rocking and she gripped her arms tightly around her arms. She was devastated. Tears now rolled down her face. “Mam help me please. I can’t do this “she sobbed.

  The cell smelt of misery. It smelt like a room where a dead person lay. Tina had died inside and the look of distress was written all over her face. Looking about the room she hoped to find something that would help her kill herself. She couldn’t go back to prison, she just couldn’t take it anymore. Tina bit hard onto her skin and drew blood. Wiping the blood all over her face she hoped she would convince the guards she wasn’t of sound mind. Within minutes she’d bitten all over her body and smeared the bright red blood all over her skin. Tina now lay sprawled across the floor. She stared at the ceiling and wished she was dead.

  *

  James kicked his foot at the floor as he waited at the exit where Sandra would come from. He was now joined by all the women who were supporting Sandra and Tina. The press were there too and he could see them taking photographs of him. The flash from the camera was hurting his eyes and his hand was now up to his face guarding his eyes from the flashing lights.

  The door opened and the cheers from the crowd could be heard. Everyone was pushing past James to get next to Sandra. The TV crews now shoved microphones in her face. They seemed to come from nowhere and before long five or six microphones were sticking near her mouth.

  “How does it feel to be a free woman Sandra?” The questions were like bullets being fired at her. Her mouth felt dry and she was pushing the TV presenters out of the way. They weren’t giving up for love nor money.

  Finally she snapped, “Right, right calm down will you, what do you want to know?”

  A voice was heard from a reporter at the side of her and a woman spoke. “Sandra, do you now feel like you represent all these women who’ve suffered violence from abusive partners?”

  Sandra grinned. She gave a gasping breath and continued. “I don’t think I represent them. I think I’ve helped them to recognise that they don’t have to take crap from men anymore.”

  The reporter continued. “What about all these women who have had ‘Carpe Diem’ tattooed on their feet. Surely they are all part of your group now?”

  Jenny was at Sandra’s side now. She dealt with the reporters and spoke on her behalf. “This lady has just been released from prison. Please give her some space.” She now held Sandra’s arm and led her to her car.

  The reporters were taking loads of photos and Sandra chuckled, “They’re all fucking up it.”

  James sat in the back of the car with Sandra. He smiled at her and held her hand in his tight grip. She felt safe. Her head was spinning and she looked confused. Jenny pulled off at speed and left the reporters still stood at the roadside. “We’ll have to wait for Tina” Sandra shouted with a frantic voice. She placed her hands on the back of Jenny’s seat.

  Jenny stared at her through the rear view mirror as James took over. He gripped her waist and sat her back in her seat. “She got time love, she’s not coming home.”

  Sandra screamed out like a wounded animal. “What do you mean? How long did she get?”

  “Three and a half years love.” James said as he tried to calm her.

  Sandra shook her head. Her tears were genuine and you could see the news had devastated her. “She won’t be able to do it on her own, she needs me. I can’t just leave her, she’s my best friend.” Her shoulders were shaking now. Her head banged against the car window as James tried to console her. Jenny now asked where they were heading to.

  Sandra spoke with a low voice. “Kevin’s letting me stay at the house. Apparently he’s moved into a new place with Tracy.” Quietness filled the car; Jenny continued driving and knew the days ahead were going to be hard for Sandra.

  Pulling up at her home Jenny could see more reporters. She sighed. “For crying out loud why don’t they just back off?”

  Jenny now smiled at James, “I can see now how I treat people when I’m on a story, you just don’t think they need a bit of time alone do you?” James agreed. They all got out of the car. Jenny threw her jacket over Sandra’s head. She led her by the arm to the front of the house. Sandra’s neighbours were out in full force and some of them were shouting at Sandra.

  “Get in there love. You showed them that we won’t take any shit anymore!” Sandra tried to smile underneath the jacket but her heart was broken. They made their way inside the house.

  Sandra looked strange. She looked lost. She froze for a minute before she went any further into the house. James was by her side and offered to make a drink of tea. Sandra just nodded. Walking slowly to the front room she could see her two sons sat there waiting for her. They both stood up and ran at her throwing their arms tightly around her body. Paul was crying as he squeezed his mother. “Mam I’m so glad you’re home. Things have been shit without you.”

  John looked upset. His hands were shaking. His lips trembled as he spoke. “I love you mam. Please just let’s get back to normal. I can’t take anymore of this shit.” Sandra dug her head between her two sons. They all shared a special moment and Jenny stood crying at the doorway watching the emotions between them all. James now came to join them and asked everyone what drink they wanted. John looked at him and scowled. He’d heard from his dad that his mother had a new boyfriend but he still looked at him with hate in his eyes. Sandra could see her boys looking at James and knew it was time to introduce him.

  “Lads, this is James. He’s helped me all the way through this nightmare and I would be glad if you would show him the respect that he deserves.” Paul backed down and hugged him and thanked him for his help. John was more laidback and just nodded at him. He didn’t trust anyone anymore and he whispered to his brother that they would have to watch him in the future.

  They all sat chatting and Jenny got her exclusive interview with Sandra and her family. Jenny now stood to her feet and hugged Sandra. “You’re an inspiration, you are Sandra and I wish you all the luck in the world, I’ll keep in touch with you don’t worry but I’m going to leave you for a few weeks to find your feet.”

  Sandra squeezed her. “You don’t have to wait love, you come here whenever you want, I owe you a lot and without you, I would have rotted in jail for years.” Jenny smiled and said goodbye to everyone. The sound of the front door could be heard closing.

  Four people now sat in the front room. James looked uncomfortable. He fidgeted inside his pocket. “Sandra I’m going to get off now. You have so much to come to terms with and I know you want to spend some time with your lads.” Sandra nodded he was right. Walking him to the door they shared a long passionate kiss, James told her he would be back in touch and h
e left.

  John was now pacing the front room. Sandra dropped to the chair she just couldn’t believe she was free. Her home looked so different to her and she kept letting out gasping breaths. The time that had passed was now discussed. Paul told his mother about John’s addiction. John sat staring at the floor and felt ashamed. Sandra couldn’t believe she was never told of any of this and jumped to John’s side. “Oh son. Why would you go and do that?”

  He snivelled and months of emotion broke free. “Mam I just got mixed up in it all. My dad asked me to sell it and I just thought I would see what it was like. I hate myself for doing it, I’m clean now though mam, honest.” John sat with his hands crossing his heart. “I swear to God mam, I’ll never touch it again.” Tears fell from his eyes and he sobbed. Paul joined them and they all shared a special moment. Their mother was home now and that was all that mattered.

  Sandra trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. Throwing herself on the bed she sobbed her heart out. Tina was on her mind and she couldn’t believe she wasn’t by her side. Smelling the duvet cover she cringed. She could smell her husband’s aftershave on it and jumped from the bed as if someone had poured boiling water on her. She dragged the cover from the bed and looked angry. She was now on a mission and opened the wardrobes in the bedroom. The cheeky bastard had left some of his clothes inside. She dragged them out from the wardrobe as if they were on fire. Within ten minutes she’d cleared the bedroom of any possessions Kevin owned.

  Stood looking at the pile of clothes, a cunning smile filled Sandra’s face. She gripped a large pile and ran downstairs towards the back garden. Throwing them onto the grass at the end of the garden she ran back upstairs to get the rest of them. Sandra sprayed hairspray all over the clothing. A neighbour popped her head over the fence and asked if she was okay. Sandra giggled to her and told her she was just getting rid of a few things she didn’t need any more. The neighbour could see she was upset and told her she was coming over.