She let out a long sigh. If he were mad at anyone else, he’d be coming to her to talk about it. “Was he okay?” she asked Reagan.
“Maybe you should find out for yourself.”
“He won’t talk to me.”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
Kennedy shook her head shamefully. “But I know he won’t. He couldn’t even look at me.” She twisted her brace, staring at it. “What did he say?”
“He told me not to tell you.”
Kennedy felt her brows draw together, feeling stung. When she looked at Reagan, there was no remorse there. “Seriously?” she asked. “Since when did the two of you start exchanging secrets?”
“Probably around the time you stopped being his friend.” Reagan shut her laptop and set it aside. “Come on, Kenn. What do you think he said? He’s heartbroken. He shouldn’t have had to find out about Phoenix that way. You should’ve told him yourself. You said you were going to tell him yourself.”
Kennedy gripped the arm of the recliner. “I told Hunter how I felt. I didn’t think it was necessary to hurt him even more by telling him about someone I wasn’t even sure about.” She stood up, shaking with anger. She needed to leave the room before she said something she regretted. Reagan’s brace beeped as she started to walk away. An invisible force turned her around, and her gaze flicked to her sister’s wrist.
Hunter’s face lit up the screen.
Kennedy slowly inhaled. Every muscle in her body stiffened, and she wasn’t sure who she was angrier with. Sisters were inherently supposed to be on each other’s sides. That was the way family worked. They were supposed to help you, comfort you when you needed it, and root for you to succeed. They weren’t supposed to steal your best friends and look at you with shame in their eyes.
Deep down, she knew that was just scratching the surface.
Beneath all that, she was so mad at Hunter, and she felt guilty for being mad at him. He didn’t deserve her anger, not when she was the cause of his pain.
On some level though, she assumed nothing would ever break their friendship. Their loyalty to each other was supposed to be strong enough to survive the most difficult challenges. Right now it didn’t feel all that strong. This had dug beneath their late night’s spent talking through the window. It dug beneath the seat on the bus everyone knew not to sit in because it was theirs. It dug beneath their plans to visit Puma Punku after graduation, so Hunter could prove to her once and for all that his ancient alien theory was one hundred percent true.
God, it felt like the more she fit into keeper life, the less she fit into her old one. No matter how much she wanted to scream and point fingers, what she wanted more was to have both Reagan and Hunter back, unchanged. Within her innermost core, she knew she was the angriest with herself—because she was the reason they had changed.
Reagan didn’t answer Hunter’s call, and Kennedy didn’t comment on it. Hiding in her bedroom wasn’t going to help at this point. Not with the view waiting for her there. She needed to get out. Now.
“Kennedy,” Reagan said, standing up. “Wait.”
She paused as she reached for the door handle. “Why? So you can make me feel even worse? No, thanks.” She opened the door.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Reagan followed her out onto the porch. “I saw on the waves today that DOE is shipping out another unit of the Peri-Guard.”
Kennedy spun around on the last step. “So?”
“They said Phoenix is leaving with the next ship. Kenn…those units are gone for a year at a time. Is it true?”
What the…why would she hear something like that?
“Their information is wrong.”
Phoenix would’ve told her if he was leaving for an entire year. That wouldn’t be something he’d forget to mention, and it was kind of pissing her off that Reagan would even try to worry her about it.
“Okay.” Reagan shifted her weight, looking at the ground. “I just figured you would want to know.”
Kennedy couldn’t stand to be there anymore. She continued to walk away from Reagan, unable to say anything else.
Almost all streets in this part of Amelia Island led to the beach, but she chose to use this one because the gravel ended about halfway there and converted into a dirt road. Most cars avoided it, which meant she could have some privacy.
She wasn’t sure what drove her to press the little button on her brace or why she did it, because she didn’t buy Reagan’s garbage about DOE for one second, but the next thing she knew, Matilda’s voice sounded through the speaker. “What’s up, cupcake?”
“Could you check something for me?”
“What do you need?”
“A statement was released about Phoenix. They said DOE plans to send him with a Peri-Guard unit. Could you check the accuracy of that statement?”
“Sure thing. Give me a few moments.”
Kennedy chewed her lower lip, waiting for Matilda’s response. It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true.
She came back not even ten seconds later. “It’s true, cupcake. His departure permit is listed in their database. The unit is scheduled to leave next month.”
Matilda went on to gush about how easy their system was to breach, but nothing else after that registered. How could this be? Her mind was having a hard time accepting it, even though Matilda had verified it herself. If the android told her it was accurate, than it was. Lying wasn’t in her programming.
All at once everything began to hurt. Her muscles ached and her cheeks burned and her head pounded like there was a little person in there screaming bloody murder. She wasn’t sure if she said goodbye or anything else to Matilda, but she remembered turning off her brace. Not just hanging up, but powering it off completely.
It wasn’t enough. Phoenix had given her that brace after breaking her last one. She didn’t want the reminder, and out of nowhere, it started squeezing her arm with its weight. She unsnapped the thing, tore it off her wrist, and chucked it as far as she could. Dust and gravel smoked around the circular piece of metal. She stared at it for a long time, wondering if she should go back and pick it up.
Choking sounds came from the back of her throat. Kennedy held her breath to escape them.
There was a reason for this.
A sound explanation.
She had witnessed how much Phoenix cared about her. Before he left to catch his flight, he had pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair, kissing her face, her lips. He refused to let her go until the last possible moment, and if he had lingered even a minute longer, he would’ve missed his flight.
He wouldn’t leave her for an entire year. He just wouldn’t.
She needed to keep a cool head. Stay rational. And the rational thing to do would be to go pick up her brace.
Maybe everything was piling up at once with Hunter, with Reagan, and now this, because she didn’t feel like doing the rational thing. So she turned around and started running.
At some point everything blurred around her, and she wasn’t sure if it was due to her speed or if she was crying. She began to run faster and faster until her steps were in sync with her rapid heartbeat. She wasn’t sure if she was running away from the brace, or if she was chasing isolation, but for once she didn’t analyze her every thought and emotion. Right now she simply wanted to do what felt good. And this, the running, the exertion—it strangely felt good. By the time the beach’s sand sank into her sandals, Kennedy collapsed.
She slowly rolled onto her back, taking several deep breaths. Surprisingly, she didn’t bat an eye at the roar of the ocean. It didn’t disconcert her the way it normally did.
Orange and pink hues streaked the sky. She stared at it as she breathed deeply, thinking about how much she missed this, the sky, and how beautiful it was. She wondered if other planets had skies as beautiful as this one.
Despite having felt like she ran a marathon, her energy wasn’t spent. She stood up and looked around. No one else was in sight.
A large wave crashed against the shore, hissing as the water drew back again.
Kennedy stared at the ocean. She suddenly knew why she was here. Intense resolve rushed through her, erasing her doubts and fears. She slipped out of her sandals and walked towards the ocean. As she crossed the beach, she stripped down to her bra and underwear, tossing everything aside without caring where they landed.
Water skimmed over her bare feet. She kept going, refusing to slow down. Every step made her heart beat faster, but it wasn’t out of fear. Water rushed her belly. She gasped as it struck her face. She wiped her nose and licked the salt from her lips, pushing in deeper. Nothing would deter her this time.
In that moment, she knew what she was chasing after. Ducking under the surface, she stretched out her arms, allowing the water to saturate every part of her body.
This was what she chased. This thing she once feared so much. Still feared. Maybe her father’s death wasn’t the only reason the water frightened her. Maybe she was terrified to admit she loved the same thing that had taken him away. And maybe out of guilt, she let fear win most of the time.
She swam deeper. Tingles soared up and down her spine with every stroke. Energy she had never felt before burst from her center. She had never felt stronger in her life. The water was choppy. The waves should’ve tossed her weight effortlessly, but with a wave of her hand she bended the water to her will. When she wanted to swim faster, she felt it push her along. When she wanted to slow down, it stilled around her. She soared through its belly, spiraling and twisting like a playful dolphin.
Eventually, the need for air pressed against her chest. She surged towards the surface, water propelling her up. Air hit her face, and she gasped, pulling it into her lungs. When she looked down, she saw a fountain of water had lifted her body high above the surface and was holding her there. She laughed, unable to believe something so surreal could be possible.
Her little jet stream of water slowly sank back into the ocean, and she continued to delve into the world she had denied for so long, treating it like her own private playground. She danced inside its depths, pushing water around with ease, and probably scaring the hell out of the surrounding fish.
She wasn’t sure how long she swam, maybe minutes, possibly hours, but when she resurfaced for the last time, she finally felt spent. She finally felt exhausted from the inside out. She finally felt…alive.
Thirteen
She was in love.
Love.
That had to be what this was. Ashley once told her that indifference was the opposite of love, not hate. That was why people often referred to the thin line that existed between the two emotions.
Suddenly everything made sense. Kennedy had never felt indifferent toward the ocean. It had always been in the background of her mind, haunting her with both good and horrific memories. She had hated it—with a passion. But now that her fear had faded, the same intense passion fueled her love.
It was unexpected. Shocking, even. She felt befriended by a force she didn’t know how to explain. All she knew was that the energy behind that force was powerful and beautiful and breathtaking.
Her brace still laid on the ground where she’d thrown it. Kennedy powered it on, feeling a little foolish for tossing it aside so recklessly.
Phoenix’s face lit up the screen. A message waited from him. He must have called her as soon as he landed in Olympus.
She hesitated for a moment before listening. “Hey, Kenn. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the news yet, but…” He paused, sighing. “I’m guessing you’ve seen it, and that’s why you’re not answering. Listen, I need to talk to you. I need to explain. So please call me, okay? I’ll answer no matter what time it is.”
Kennedy switched her brace off again, deciding to keep it that way for a while. It hadn’t escaped her attention that he hadn’t denied anything. He used the word explain, but she didn’t want an explanation. What she wanted was to hear that it wasn’t true. And if calling him meant she couldn’t hear that, well…then she wasn’t ready to call him yet.
~ ~
Phoenix checked his brace one more time before he started the briefing. She still hadn’t called, messaged, or anything. He swore to God he was going to find out who was responsible for releasing that statement to the media, and as soon as he did, he was going to rip out their damn throat.
Only six keepers were in attendance; the rest were on Earth visiting their families. The rest would have to manage without them. Everyone who was here needed to help today if they were going to get to the bottom of Project 27.
Fang helped him to present the facts. They displayed pictures, names, and information about each person whose name was on that list. “Find out whatever you can about Ryder Industries,” Phoenix said. “We’re basically running on nothing right now, so any data you collect will help.”
“Also, we need to figure out where Dominika is,” Fang added. “As most of you know, her family was murdered just before she was discovered, which leaves us guessing where to look for her. DOE agents checked her old house, but it’s empty. It’s been that way for years.”
“I know how you can find her,” Hoshu muttered from the back of the room. “Take the psycho path.”
“Shut it, Hoshu,” Fang snapped. “You’re not funny.”
Another keeper, Davaris, spoke up. “I still don’t get how you lost her, man. She’s a person, not a set of keys.”
Phoenix rubbed his temples, trying to stay patient. “We don’t have time to debate how it happened,” he explained. “Technically Nika is a missing person, which means the longer she’s gone, the less of a chance we have to find her. DOE has been scouring St. Petersburg, but they’re coming up with nothing. We know her better than anyone, so maybe we can figure out where she’s hiding. Every minute counts, so let’s get to work.”
The class dispersed, each keeper on their way to investigate. Phoenix powered down the projector, surprised when he looked up and saw that Fang was still there. She crossed her arms over her chest, resting her weight to one hip.
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked.
“Every minute counts,” she mimicked. “Which leaves me wondering why you wasted time in Florida.”
“You know why. Mrs. Little was in Florida—lights off!” He left the room, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. It wasn’t.
“Mrs. Little wasn’t in Amelia Island.” Fang trailed behind him down the hall. “Where you stayed overnight.”
“I stopped there for Kennedy.”
“Obviously,” she said. “What I want to know is why.”
Phoenix spun on his heel, facing Fang. She arched a brow at him, waiting for his answer.
“She’s my girlfriend, Fang. And she wanted to be included.”
“Girlfriend…” Her face contorted into a mixture of shock and anger. “Girlfriend! Tell me you’re not serious, Nix.”
“Look, I know we’re expected to be goddamn saints around here, but you of all people, Fang, I expect to be my friend, okay? I just need you to be my friend.”
She stood there, unmoving, as her gaze slowly dropped to the floor. “I can’t believe this,” she whispered.
He didn’t know what to make of her reaction. “The general idea of friendship includes you being happy for me and vice versa.”
Fang shook her head. “How could you, Nix?” Her gaze bored into him as if he had betrayed her on some huge level, but he had no idea what he could’ve done wrong. She swallowed, her throat constricting, and she almost looked like she was about to cry. In all the years he had known her, she never once cried.
He shifted uncomfortably, unused to this version of Fang. “Look, I know Kennedy isn’t your favorite person—”
“That is not what this is about.” She groaned, exasperated, and looked up at the ceiling.
“Then tell me what it is about,” he said, softening his voice.
“You are so dense.” She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. “How ca
n you not see that I have feelings for you? In all this time, how could you not see?”
Phoenix took a step back, stunned. Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t that. Bloody hell.
She looked at him and laughed once, miserably. “God, you really didn’t know.”
“Fang,” he said, clueless as to where he should begin. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
“I know, I know. My timing sucks.” She turned to leave, and then whirled back around to face him. “You know what—screw my timing. You should’ve known, Nix. I was—am—in love with you.”
Words were impossible.
He had no idea what to say. She told him he should have known, but he never even suspected. Looking back, he supposed there were signs. Fang’s unwavering devotion to him surpassed any loyalty she established with the other keepers. But he had written it off as the deeper connection keepers felt within their elemental circles. Their shared element united them, it tied them together with Davaris in a way only the three of them could understand, and it gave their friendship purpose. That’s all he ever thought existed between them. Deep, binding friendship within the circle. Never love.
“Say something,” she pleaded. “Tell me you felt something too.”
“Jesus, Fang…” He raked his hand through his hair, searching for the right words. “I don’t think of you like that. I love you, you know I do, but not like that.”
She stared at him with so much agony in her eyes that he had to look away. Phoenix felt helpless seeing her like that. He didn’t know how to comfort her or if he should.
“It’s not fair.” Her voice held an impenetrable amount of conviction. “Kennedy is supposed to be a fling. Another Hephsa Hannigan. Meaningless. And now you’re calling her your girlfriend? It’s not fair.”
Fang’s shoulders slumped. “You didn’t give me a chance. You never looked at me as more than just a friend.”
She walked towards him. Hesitantly, she placed a hand on his chest. “You owe me my chance,” she whispered. “Thirty seconds. That’s all I’m asking. Thirty seconds to prove to you that there’s something more here.”
Center of the Universe (Twelfth Keeper) Page 10
