It’s time to face your fears, Miss Mitchell.
According to Level 3 gossip, General Vickard reprimanded and suspended Dr. Sigly for subjecting Kennedy to her brutal methods of training. Suspension wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to a DOE employee, however Dr. Sigly epitomized the all-work, no-play type, so for her, it just might have been.
Since then Kennedy wondered what it would be like when they crossed paths again. Did she hold a grudge? Was she wishing Kennedy had drowned to death that day?
The doctor unwrapped a compress, tossing the lining in the trash. If there was any resentment behind her cool, reserved exterior, Kennedy certainly couldn’t tell. If anything, Dr. Sigly was being extra attentive in her care. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, she wasn’t sure.
“Hold this against your mouth, keeping pressure on it,” Dr. Sigly instructed, handing her the compress. “It will numb the area and stop the bleeding. Take a seat for a second while I prepare the Medi-Bed.”
Kennedy lowered herself into the nearest chair, watching Dr. Sigly shuffle out of the room. The compress automatically grew icy-cold in her hands. “What’s a Medi-Bed?” she asked Professor Mason.
“You’ve never heard of one?” he asked, surprised.
“Not until today.”
He scratched his head, staring at the wall. “Well, ah, it looks like a tanning bed. Same idea, too. You lie inside of it, and an array of light bulbs surround you. The difference is that it compresses light and heat to reenergize your blood vessels. Speed them into action, so to speak. By the time you get out of it, your bruises will look weeks old and your pain will fade drastically.”
Kennedy eyed him skeptically. “Sounds too good to be true.”
“It works, trust me. Had to use it myself last year when I tore some ligaments in my leg. Never exit a sphere too soon—that was the lesson I learned.”
Ha. That was rich, coming from the same man who assured her spheres were perfectly safe modes of transportation when she was reluctant to use one. “So what else do the beds do?” she asked. “Can they heal broken bones?”
“No, but it won’t be long before they can, along with performing major surgeries as well. Technology is on the brink, or so I’ve heard.”
Dr. Sigly came back, ending their conversation. “Come with me,” she said, adding, “and I told you to keep the compress on your mouth.”
Kennedy did as she asked, following her into a room that was empty except for the Medi-Bed. Next, Dr. Sigly asked her to strip to her underwear, which was embarrassing enough on its own, and made worse when she struggled to use both hands, resulting in her having to ask for help.
The bed itself, however, wasn’t so bad. Bright lights flashed and scanned her body for the next hour. Her skin tingled and itched in areas with more damage, but it wasn’t painful. She actually fell asleep during the whole process, and when she woke up, Dr. Sigly was opening the bed.
“Sit up slowly. Tell me if you feel any pain.”
Feeling dizzy, she sat up and flexed her swollen wrist. The pain was dull—almost gone. She touched her chest where Fang had kicked her. No pain at all. She hopped out of the bed and stood, trying to remember where her injuries were located. Her fingertips sought her lower lip. There, she felt nothing but dried blood and a scabbed cut that felt weeks old.
Incredible.
“You still need a glaze for your mouth,” Dr. Sigly advised her. “It’s works similar to liquid stitches, ensuring that the cut doesn’t reopen because even though it feels old, the density is the same. The Medi-Bed can’t grow skin—yet.
“Also, you’ll need a band for your wrist. The bone was fractured, but it’s not bad. I’d say you should be fully healed within a week’s time. Other than that, how do you feel?”
“Fine,” Kennedy said. “Better than fine, actually.” Evidence of her fight with Fang was all but missing. Too bad she couldn’t erase the memories of it as well.
“Good,” Dr. Sigly said. “After you get dressed, I’ll apply the glaze, get you the band, and then you’re free to leave.”
Free to leave.
Kennedy looked down at her body, still amazed. It was almost tempting enough to challenge Fang to a rematch.
~ ~
Phoenix kept his promise. Kennedy found him waiting outside the office door when she walked out of it. His eyes roamed over her face, falling to her mouth. “How do you feel?”
“I’m fine. The pain is pretty much gone.”
Looking into his eyes was the same as looking directly at the sun. She couldn’t do it. His concern for her radiated from him. Behind that was a troubling guilt. It wouldn’t surprise her if he blamed himself for what happened, even though it wasn’t his fault. What led to fighting Fang was a mixture of anger and bruised pride, and she knew it. She was totally one hundred and ten percent to blame, but he would never see it that way.
Well, hadn’t she wanted him to feel shame? Hadn’t she wanted him to feel regret? After all, he was the one who betrayed her.
I wanted him to regret what he did, not what I did.
Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. “I never meant for this to happen. I should’ve never let you fight her.”
Kennedy drew the courage to look at him. “Today wasn’t your fault,” she said. “Besides, I didn’t ask for your permission.”
“You’re angry because of me. You fought Fang because of me. That makes it my fault.”
“No, I’m angry because I made bad decisions.” Decisions that led to you stomping all over my heart.
“Don’t say that,” he said, wincing. “Don’t treat this as if I was your bad decision.”
“Weren’t you?” She cut him with her gaze. “Because it sure seems that way.”
“Look, Fang thinks she’s in love with me.” The words rushed out of his mouth as if he were uncomfortable acknowledging them. “She sprung this on me while you weren’t here, telling me I never gave her a fair chance. It took me by surprise, Kennedy. I would have never guessed it in a million years. I thought our relationship was based on the kinship of our circle. Never more than that.”
“You kissed her.”
“No.” He shook his head. “She kissed me, and if you saw any proof of that, you know it’s the truth.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. It was the truth, but beside the point. Lips were touching lips, dammit. “You didn’t pull away.”
He saw her expression and took a step toward her.
She took a step back. Getting through this conversation required space. Lots and lots of space.
“No, I didn’t. I’ll admit that’s where I screwed up.” He let out a low, agonized sigh. “I’ve known Fang almost my whole life. She’s incredibly stubborn. When she has her mind made up about something, she doesn’t back down. I figured I would put an end to all of this by showing her there was nothing between us, but it backfired on me. I didn’t kiss her back, and she saw that as me not giving her a chance.”
A door opened and closed a few rooms down. Kennedy waited until she was sure they were alone before asking her next question. “Why does Fang think she’s in love with you?” He used the word think before, which meant he didn’t believe it, and she wondered why. Fang loving Phoenix wasn’t impossible to imagine.
“Why does that matter?”
“Just answer the question.”
He stared at the wall, shrugging. “She never gave me a reason. If I had to guess, I would say it’s out of loyalty. In her eyes, we’re equal. I’ve always treated her like family. And then you come along, and I put you above everyone. When I dragged you from that pool Sigly tried drowning you in, I chose you over the keepers, including her.”
“You were just doing what was right,” she pointed out.
“I don’t think Fang sees it that way, and I don’t think what she’s feeling is love. My guess is that she’s jealous because she doesn’t come first anymore. I hurt her, too, Kennedy, the moment I stopped putting her first.”
/> “But since then, you’ve convinced me to come back, to train harder, to work harder. What is that, if not something you did for the keepers as a whole? Loyalty to our united purpose has always come first for you—and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. That’s the way it should be.”
Phoenix took a few more steps towards her, closing the distance between them. She tried to move away, but found herself cornered against the wall.
“Yes, it should be, but it’s not.”
She swallowed nervously. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you’re the most important thing in my life.” His hand brushed her cheek, caressing the side of her face, causing her stomach to do that flutter thing.
She shook her head in disbelief. “That’s not true.”
“Call me selfish if you want, but when it comes to you, everything else fades into the background. You come first, Kennedy. You come before Fang, before the keepers, and the whole bloody world.”
Kennedy stared at him. Beats of time passed as she tried to piece together what he had just said. She watched him watching her, his face inches away. That was genuinely how he felt.
For God’s sake, why does the room feel as if it’s spinning?
“Kennedy,” Phoenix whispered. “You’re not breathing.”
Oh. Right. Oxygen.
The thing people needed to stay alive.
She sucked in a deep breath, wondering if she should be annoyed or grateful that he was paying so much attention to her body.
Phoenix reached for her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. “Look at me.”
She did as he asked, seeing a whirlwind of emotions beneath his typically impenetrable surface.
“Look beyond all the bullshit, and tell me you honestly think I meant to hurt you.” His eyes held onto hers, challenging her. “I dare you to tell me you believe that.”
No, hurting her wasn’t something he meant to do. That much was obvious. But whether intentional or not, he did end up hurting her, and that was what she couldn’t let go of. The ends never justified the means.
When she didn’t say anything, he rested his forehead against hers. “Let me kiss you,” he pleaded, moving his hands to her waist. He took a ragged breath. “I want to kiss you so bad, Kennedy. Let me kiss you until you forgive me.”
Heat swept over her cheeks. She stared at his full lips, wanting to taste them just as badly. Her hands itched to wrap around his neck and pull him the rest of the way. She wanted…she wanted…to melt into him.
What is wrong with me?
Closing her eyes, she blocked everything out, summoning every ounce of will power she had. Then she tore his hands away from her. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
God, the pain in his voice just about broke her. She pressed her lips together, trying to remember that she was angry with him. “Phoenix…”
“Why not?” he asked again, sharp enough to make her flinch. “Give me a reason. A real one.”
“Okay, fine,” she said, shaking. “I don’t think you had bad intentions when you allowed Fang to kiss you, but the part I can’t get over is that you didn’t stop her to begin with. You say I come first, but you didn’t put me first when you let her have her way.” She paused for a moment, trying to steel her voice. “You used to stir so many emotions within me, Phoenix, all of them happy. Just picturing your face used to make me feel excitement, joy, desire. But when I think of you now…I don’t feel any of those things. All I feel is betrayal, sadness, and an aching for something I can’t name. I’m sorry…I don’t think I can get past that.”
She looked away, afraid of his reaction. Honesty shouldn’t cause this awful feeling of shame, but she felt it anyway. She’d only given him what he wanted by telling him the truth.
Phoenix tilted her chin up to face him. “I know I messed up. But I’m not giving up. I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel those things again. Do you hear me? I’ll wait as long as I have to.”
The way he spoke, with so much conviction, made Kennedy believe him. She turned out of his grip, needing to get out of there. She rushed through the hall, hearing him call her name from behind, but she didn’t look back.
Everyone she passed stared at her, angling their heads around. It wasn’t until she was far enough away that she realized she had tears in her eyes. Brushing them away, she became angry all over again. Stupid tears. Crying would make her exactly the type of girl she didn’t want to be. The weak, pathetic girl.
If she was ever going to prove herself, she couldn’t react to every little emotion she felt. Seeing Phoenix’s face and hearing the pain in his voice was too much. Staying mad at him was difficult when he looked at her like that, and she needed to stay mad at him. How much he hurt her this time was bad enough, leaving her feeling like she’d been ripped in two. If she didn’t keep her anger at the surface, and if something like this ever happened again…she sighed.
It just might crush her soul.
Nineteen
Kennedy had been given the remainder of the day off, under strict orders from Mason to get some rest. As tempting as that sounded, the problem with resting was that it led to a wandering mind, and that was no good. She needed to stay busy. She needed to get Phoenix’s face out of her head.
Determined to put herself together, she decided to sift through the piles of information Matilda amassed on Dominika’s family. She’d been putting it off anyway, just by the sheer enormity of the task—how did one find a needle in a haystack? DOE certainly hadn’t been able to do it. But she had the spare time. She might as well take the time to look for anything they’d missed.
Interestingly enough, one news article labeled Maxwell Ryder not only as the employer of Nika’s Dad, but also a close friend of the family. He was present for the funeral, and had taken it upon himself to pay for Nika’s care and medical expenses. She was being treated for PTSD at a local hospital when she was discovered and named the seventh keeper.
Kennedy sipped at her latte, thinking. The connection between Ryder and Nika was obvious, but the real question was what name on that list freaked her out? Running the names through search engines didn’t help. Some were associated with Ryder, like Penelope and her land, but none of them connected to Nika or her family specifically.
“Find anything yet, cupcake?” Matilda asked as she came out of the laundry room. Kennedy flinched, still not used to her legs.
“Not much. You wanna run the info through your system and give me some statistics?”
“Already did. I’m not coming up with anything either.”
“That’s a first.”
Matilda put her hands on her metal hips. “It means I don’t have enough information to make a reliable estimation. If I knew more about Dominika or her family, I would most certainly amaze you with my talents.”
Kennedy lightly chuckled. “I’m sure you would.”
It made her wonder though, if she was wasting her time with this research after Matilda had already checked for hidden facts. Could she really uncover something a high-tech Series Seven android couldn’t?
Then it hit her.
Freshman year, she’d taken a course on psychology, another subject Professor Mason considered useless. She, on the other hand, loved learning about the way people operated. One particular chapter stuck out in her mind, which questioned the validity of human instinct. The sixth sense was supposed to be the brain’s innate ability to piece together a combination of subconscious signals which can’t necessarily be defined as facts or evidence.
If a sixth sense was real, she had a chance at finding what Matilda’s system couldn’t.
Go back to the article about the funeral.
That was her instinct talking. Had to be. She’d already read through the funeral report thoroughly, finding nothing that stood out. Maybe her gut was telling her to dig a little deeper.
Kennedy waved her hand in the air to cue the hologram computer back several pages. She stopped at the picture o
f six wooden caskets, side by side. Mourners dressed in black surrounded the caskets.
She frowned as she stared at it, the depressing images stirring up memories of her own dark past. Losing her father had been the single most horrific experience of her life, leaving her with emotional scars and a fat therapy bill her mother couldn’t afford.
Nika lost her entire family, was forced to listen to them die from beneath her parent’s bed, and was helpless to do anything about it. And then right after that happened, life hit her with another blow—she would have to live on Olympus with a bunch of strangers and train to keep the world safe. Who in her situation would care about keeping the world safe?
Not me, that’s for sure. I’d probably feel like blowing it up myself.
It no longer seemed odd that the girl had issues. The fact that she hadn’t already lost it completely was the real shocker.
Kennedy read over the article again, recounting the murders, followed by a description of the funeral. When nothing stood out, she read it again, and then a third time, making sure to analyze each and every sentence.
“This is no use!” she said, groaning loudly.
She zoned out for a second, debating whether she should continue, or if she should quit the research altogether and actually do some of that resting Mason recommended. Then a minor detail caught her eye within the funeral picture she had been mindlessly staring at.
Nika’s fur boots.
She would have never been able to recognize her in the large crowd if it weren’t those boots. She zoomed in on the image. Nika was pressed up against a woman’s side, hiding her face as if she were crying. The woman held Nika close, one arm wrapped around her shoulders protectively.
Kennedy’s eyes darted to the caption. She read through the list of names until she found Nika’s and then looked at the name beside it.
Eva Gurevich.
Hmm. Didn’t sound familiar.
“Matilda, do me a favor and run the name Eva Gurevich through a search. See what you can find.”
Center of the Universe (Twelfth Keeper) Page 14
