It was a Saturday and there were a lot of people in the cemetery. Erica saw them gather at headstones, many of them crying, touching the headstone, or taking a picture of it. Some were sitting next to the headstone, talking to it or offering it flowers. Erica wasn’t doing any of that.
The headstone had his name, his title in the Air Force, and the dates of his life. Lastly, it noted LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER.
Erica laughed quickly. “If they only knew.”
She looked around, noticing that no one was near enough to her to hear what she had to say, so she decided to speak to him out loud.
“So, I’m here,” she said. “I’m here to tell you that I pretty much hated you and everything about you. But you’re dead now, so there’s no point to that.”
She took a deep breath, preparing to hear her own feelings. “All my life I wished that my father wanted me and loved me. But he didn’t, so I got over it. Then I found out that he wasn’t my father. That you were, and there was a part of me that thought maybe I could have a father who wanted me and loved me.”
Erica felt the emotion that she wanted to fight off taking over and swallowed hard. “That’s what I wanted. For you to be so happy you found me and want to make up for all those years we’d missed with each other. When I realized all you wanted was a secret daughter, I downplayed how much it hurt me.”
She wiped a single tear from her right cheek. “I consoled myself with your attempts to have me in your life and the little bits of affection you showed as your way of loving me. But you didn’t love me, not really.”
Erica tried to compose herself as two elderly women walked by her, both carrying flowers in their hands. She waited as they got far enough away not to hear her.
“I wanted real love. I didn’t get it, and no amount of money can make up for that. I was jealous of your daughter, who I thought you loved too, but now I doubt you loved her either.
“I wanted to make you pay for not wanting to be a real father to me with every purchase I made, but it only made me angrier because I knew it was all for nothing. But I didn’t want to face up to that, so I blamed everyone else for why I was so unhappy and so constantly unsatisfied.”
Erica caught her breath for a moment and stood still as if she was waiting for him to respond . . . to feel a response from him. There was nothing.
“Of course you have nothing to say,” she continued. “Dead or alive, you’re just not that person. I understand that now. You’re not the person who can love and care and think about anyone above themselves. I don’t think you’ve ever loved anyone in a real way.”
She reached out and touched the top of the headstone. “But you did what you could. You loved as much as you were capable of. It wasn’t enough and it wasn’t the right kind, but it’s okay. I let myself believe that your love was what I needed to be happy, but it’s not.
“I was happy before I met you because I had, I still have, the love of my girls, my brother. I have friends and hopefully I have a boyfriend. If not him, I’ll have one someday. But I really want it to be him.”
She sighed heavily. “My point is I forgive you. I forgive you for not loving me and not doing right by me when you found out who I was. I don’t hate you anymore. I can’t afford it and I don’t want to.”
Erica slowly let her hand slip from the curved edge of the top of the tombstone. “I won’t be coming back. I’m letting you go because every memory I have of you only reminds me of how it wasn’t enough. So this is good-bye, Dad. Maybe in the next life, we can be a real father and daughter.”
“Baby.” Justin sat back in his chair at the head of the dining room table and placed his hand on his full belly. “That was the best Christmas dinner, ever.”
At the other end of the table, Sherise was pleased. She had put a lot into it. After all, it was a special Christmas. She had decided to skip the traditional ham and go instead with a prime rib and lobster combo with a side of Brussels sprouts sautéed in garlic and bacon. Billie’s homemade bread, her mother’s recipe, was the perfect added touch. They were all so full, but made room for Erica’s peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream. Everyone was about to burst.
Looking around the table, Sherise was extremely pleased to see everyone full and happy. Some of them, particularly Erica’s boyfriend, Corey, looked like they were about to pass out. That meant it was a good meal.
She smiled proudly. “I thought a surf-and-turf Christmas would be something new for a change.”
“This was amazing,” Michael said. He leaned to his right, his arm around the back of Billie’s chair, and kissed her on the cheek. “Especially the bread.”
Billie smiled and rubbed her face against his arm, loving the smell of him. Their eyes connected and Billie saw something in them that she had feared she would never see again; complete devotion. It warmed her through her soul.
“Well,” Sherise said. “We three girls spent the whole day cooking while you boys watched basketball. It’s time to clear the table. Guess who gets to do that?”
Justin groaned as he stood up. “Okay, boys, let’s get to it.”
“Hey!” Nate put his fork down, looking around. “Since when do the guys have to—”
“Watch it,” Corey quickly warned. “You’re about to say something you’ll regret.”
“Ice cream!” Cady, sitting to the right of her father, yelled out as she waved her spoon in the air. Her face was covered in peach juice and ice cream.
Everyone laughed and the tiny little girl couldn’t have been more thrilled.
“It’s a new tradition,” Erica told her brother, who was sitting to her left. “Deal with it.”
The women watched, their bellies full, as the men got up and started clearing the table.
As Corey grabbed her plate, Erica looked up at him and winked. He bent down.
“Did I do okay?” he asked with a whisper.
“You did great,” she answered and kissed him on the lips.
With all the men gone, Sherise and Billie focused on Erica. She smiled, shaking her head. This was the first time they’d met him, and with all the fuss getting the meal together, they hadn’t really had any time to talk about it.
“Go ahead,” Erica encouraged. “Give it to me.”
“I like him,” Billie said. “He’s . . .”
“He’s a fit for you,” Sherise added.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Erica asked, suspiciously.
“Don’t get defensive,” Sherise warned. “I mean he looks like he can handle you. You’re nuts, and you need a certain type of man who can put up with that.”
Erica turned to Billie. “Was that a compliment?”
Billie laughed and nodded. “As much as can be expected.”
Erica sighed. “I’m just happy he’s here.”
“Come on.” Sherise stood up, gripping a sleeping Aiden, who had been sitting on her lap, tightly. “Of course he’d take you back.”
“I wasn’t so sure about that,” Erica said. “I . . .”
She quieted quickly as Justin and Michael rushed back into the room to grab some more plates.
“Let’s go into the den,” Sherise instructed. “I’m sure there’s a game on we can be watching.”
“Rub it in,” Justin said.
The women laughed as they made their way to the den, Sherise carrying Aiden and Erica holding on to Cady. Inside, the television was still on and they all sat on the sofa, letting the babies play on the floor.
“It wasn’t pretty,” Erica said. “I basically begged. My ego took a bruising.”
“Well deserved,” Billie said. “Don’t you think?”
Erica nodded. Billie was right. She’d been a mess and had sent so many mixed signals to Corey, it was no surprise that he didn’t want to hear her apology at first. Erica didn’t give up. She cared about Corey and really believed she had a future with him, now that things were much clearer. She wasn’t willing to let it go and wore him down.
Unlike in the past, Er
ica had said nothing. She just listened to what Corey had to say, what had confused him, angered him, and worried him. When he was done, she tried to explain herself, which wasn’t easy because she was still trying to figure it all out.
“Eventually,” she continued, “he came around and offered to give me one last chance. I have a lot of hope. I’m glad you two like him.”
“You’d still be with him if we didn’t,” Sherise said.
Erica nodded. “Well, I really like him.”
“I can see that he really likes you,” Billie said. “Everything is gonna be fine. He’s forgiven you.”
“And you two have too?” she asked, sheepishly.
Billie reached over and placed her hand on Erica’s knee. “There is no need for forgiveness with family.”
Erica smiled. “I’m keeping the condo, though. No matter what!”
“It was actually a good deal,” Billie said. “After looking at everything. You did good.”
“Of course I did,” Erica said. “Told you I would. I wrote the check to the hospital too. Delivering it tomorrow.”
After leaving Jonah’s grave, Erica had an epiphany, an idea that seemed so clear and right to her. Of the money she had left, she was going to put half of it away for investment and retirement savings. The other half, some she was keeping, but most she was donating to the hospital where her mother had worked her entire life. The hospital where she was treated with love and care by her former coworkers when she’d gotten sick.
“You’re lucky Justin took you back,” Sherise reminded.
“I know,” Erica said. “If he . . . Oh, look you’re on TV.”
All three women turned to the television as the newsbreak had a picture of Sherise. The newscaster noted the shake-up in the incoming Northman administration, with Sherise Robinson as press secretary, replacing Maurice Blair, who had declined the position.
“You really expect us to believe that he wanted to return to the DGA?” Billie asked. “What did he say? There were too many Democrat governors in difficult races in the next couple of years and he felt he had to go back to help them?”
Sherise shrugged. “He’s right. Jerry himself said that he was willing to make the sacrifice considering how important the DGA would be over the next couple of years.”
“Bullshit,” Erica said. “You made this happen. You’re really not gonna tell us?”
“It’s not one of our secrets,” Sherise said regretfully. “This shit involves the president-elect. It would be like Billie, a lawyer, divulging a secret of one of her clients.”
She couldn’t tell them that Stephen was in a secret rehab and that Jerry had offered cabinet posts to two people in exchange for their loyalty and secrecy. It wasn’t the greatest start to get off to, but Sherise was back where she needed to be. She was in one of the most powerful positions in American politics and life felt under control again.
“So what if after the elections, he wants back in?” Billie asked.
“He won’t,” Sherise assured her. “Trust me.”
“You’re not worried?” Erica asked.
Sherise shook her head. “I’m going to be too busy to be worried about that loser.”
“Not too busy, I hope,” Billie said.
“Why?” Sherise asked.
Billie smiled excitedly. “We set a date! We’re getting married in six months!”
Both Sherise and Erica screamed and reached out, hugging Billie tightly. Cady and Aiden were staring at them both, confused as to what this sudden delight was about.
“Why so early?” Sherise gasped. “Oh my God, are you . . .”
“No,” Billie said. “I’m not pregnant. But we didn’t want to wait any longer than we had to. We want to start our marriage, our family, and our lives as soon as possible.”
“Here in D.C., right?” Erica asked.
“Right here in D.C.,” Billie assured her.
They had discussed it all over the past week and decided against moving to Atlanta. There was still a relationship with his mother that Michael had to work on repairing, and his plans for being a major part of Duncan’s life, but for now, Michael was the one who suggested their life together, their future together belonged in D.C.
“I thought the three of us were going to be split apart for a while,” Billie said. “I thought we were going to break.”
“No,” Sherise assured her. “Nothing and no one can break our bond. Ever.”
With all of the craziness that had and would forever surround their lives, this was the one thing that all three knew to be true.
A READING GROUP GUIDE
POWER, SEDUCTION & SCANDAL
Angela Winters
About this Guide
The suggested questions that follow are included to enhance your group’s reading of this book.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Was Sherise justified in her initial attempts to undermine Maurice Blair (before you knew what he’d done)? Was she entitled to that position or should she have put the administration first and waited her turn?
2. Was Billie wrong to want to resist moving to Atlanta, in the beginning, for the sake of her friends? She was clearly reluctant to leave Sherise, Erica, and Tara and openly showed that to Michael. Should she have only thought of Michael and their marriage/future? Or was Michael wrong in springing this on her, especially knowing how his family treated Billie?
3. What did you think of Erica’s reaction to Jonah’s death? Was it believable that she would be so affected by the death of a man who she only knew a few years and disliked most of that time?
4. Sherise’s final plan could have jeopardized Northman’s incoming administration. Did she have a right to risk it all for others, not just herself?
5. Billie was eventually proven right about Darina, but in the beginning, was she justified in being so suspicious and distrustful without proof? Was she being selfish about wanting to keep Michael from Duncan before the blood tests came back?
6. Erica was clearly hurting, but did she have a point about Sherise and Billie always treating her like a child or charity case? Based on the previous three novels in this series, is there truth to this?
7. What did you think of Billie’s initial reaction to finding Michael “in bed” with Darina? Was she justified, or should she have calmed down and tried to figure it out more?
8. Was Erica’s spending spree really as bad as Sherise, Billie and Corey made it seem? Was she really shopping through her pain, or was she a woman who, for once in her life, was able to live it up and get things she’d always wanted?
9. Was Billie justified in using her history with Porter in her initial decision to ignore Michael and not give him a chance to “sweet talk” his way out of this? Can someone just ignore that they were hurt before in such a situation?
10. Should Michael have accepted Billie back as easily as he did? Should he have made it harder for her considering her initial lack of trust in him?
11. At the end of the book, Sherise and Justin were stronger than ever, Michael and Billie were back on their path to marriage, and Erica had Corey, who had forgiven her for the way she treated him. Do you think all three of these ladies will have a happy romantic ending? Who do you think has the best chance at forever: Sherise, Billie or Erica?
Don’t miss Grace Octavia’s latest book in the Southern Scandal series,
His Last Wife
On sale now!
1
“Put more of that cheese on my plate.” This directive murmur that edged on the possibility of a growl came from the cigarette-blackened lips of a woman in an orange jail jumpsuit, whose stereotypical back-braided cornrows and decidedly mean mug announced that not only had she been incarcerated for a very long time, but that this was likely not her first incarceration and it wouldn’t be her last.
Six feet tall with a wide back and muscular arms, she was standing toward the middle of a rowdy line at a metal food-service counter in the gray-walled cafeteria at the Fulton County
Jail. All around was a mess of loud, trash-talking female inmates in various stages of eating dinner and wide-eyed guards with their hands on their guns.
“I can’t do that!” This uneasy response that was dipped in fear came from the Vaseline-coated lips of a woman whose orange jumpsuit was hidden beneath a white apron. However, this inmate’s stylish two-strand twists that only had three inches of gray at the roots made it clear that not only had she just gotten to jail, but also that she didn’t plan on staying and still wasn’t clear about how life had led her to that place. Indeed, like half of the women in the jail, Kerry Ann Jackson had maintained that she was no criminal. But that didn’t stop officers from putting her in handcuffs and placing her behind bars for allegedly tossing her ex-husband off the roof of a downtown Atlanta skyscraper.
“You better put more of that cheese on my plate, bitch!” The murmur coming from the black lips was definitely now a growl.
“But I already gave you the serving. One scoop. That’s it,” Kerry tried to rationalize, pointing to the soggy pasta shells on the growler’s plate. Kerry was standing behind the service counter, holding a one-cup serving spoon over the pan of pasta shells and processed cheese that was supposed to be macaroni and cheese. The kitchen manager had given her one instruction: “One serving spoon per inmate. You fuck that up and you’re back on the toilets.”
“You think I’m simple, bitch? I know what the fucking serving is, but ain’t no cheese on mine.” She slammed the tray on the counter in a way that made the soggy noodles shake in the soupy yellow cheese sauce on her plate, and all eyes to the front and back of the line looked over at the spectacle. Guards chatting nearby craned their necks to get a look.
Kerry was ready to disappear. If the pan of artificial macaroni-and-cheese surprise was big enough, she would’ve jumped right in and swam to the bottom to escape. Drowned herself in the yellow paste just to avoid what could happen next. And it could be anything. Anything. She’d been in holding at the jail for three months and in that time she’d seen women spat on for less. One woman got stabbed in her right tit for chatting up one of the female guards who’d been sleeping with another inmate.
Power, Seduction & Scandal Page 28
