“Truthfully, I don’t remember much about it, and I’m not sure it would do me much good if I did. I have a good analyst, Lorenzo Gianinni. He encourages me to be in the present, saying I must deal with the damage I’ve done to others and I think he is right. Now that I realize what I have done, I am getting better every time I can tell the truth. My relationship with my mother is blossoming, a joy for both of us. My father is now tender with me, and Claudia is so compassionate that I’ve found myself more in love with her than I ever was before because it is real love, not just lust.”
For Simon the afternoon with Armando revealed the truth of something he had thought all along—that remembering buried trauma could generate change and sometimes free its victims. To be with an individual who had been terribly abusive for so long, but who was now so humbled and vulnerable gave him hope. By the end of their meeting, he was ready to give Armando a chance. “As long as she is comfortable with it, I am all right with you seeing Sarah. She amazes me; she really cares about you in spite of what you’ve done. Once she heard what had happened to you when you were so young, she was very anxious to see you. She will be happy if the two of you can just let it go by sharing your feelings; it would be good for her. If I were her, I don’t think I’d want to see you alone but she may want to come here? I know she loves this house, and I can see why. I assume your parents are here in the winter? Under the circumstances, I’d be happier if they were around. She’d like to see your mother anyway, and you’ve told me she knows all about what’s going on.”
Armando set down his sandwich, his eyes riveted to Simon’s avid, kind face. “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe I’ve come far enough to be offered your generosity. You know I would have married Sarah, but don’t worry. I don’t feel that way anymore. Thankfully, she kept me from doing the worst, or I’m sure you wouldn’t be here with me today. To be honest, Sarah is the only one I didn’t get. You don’t know what a monster I was. I almost killed one young girl in a Tuscan ravine, and I abused Claudia until she was mindless.”
Simon winced. But Armando seemed like a completely different person, and he could see that little boy before he was raped. Although Armando was an amazingly strong man, a very determined man, there was sweetness in him, a little child who wanted to be loved. “Will you be able to meet with this Tuscan woman?”
“I am hoping my mother can arrange that, since she still has family nearby. I may have to meet with her with my mother so she feels comfortable and feels safe. Yes, I think I will be able to do that and I dread it.”
“Based on Claudia’s experience, it seems to me each one of these meetings has the potential to heal you and release the women,” Simon said, “but I can see why it’s a hard thing to do.”
Armando said in a deep voice, “Being accepted again by Claudia and knowing she is getting over the pain means everything to me; she is slowly unwinding her bitterness. We all have healing powers we do not use. The most awful thing I think about is what I would have done next. I was getting very close to murdering the next woman, and Lorenzo knew it.” Simon shuddered, thinking how close Sarah came to being dreadfully hurt.
Armando went on. “As you can imagine, Simon, I have thought much about the monster I became—like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Claudia says the end of the Mayan Calendar was the completion of nine levels of evolution, and now many elements of each cycle will pass away. She says I reverted back to a primal phase, and she could actually see me reverting back by observing my body language. She thinks potent lust causes a lot of people to revert back to the time when humans evolved from primates, and they go out of control. What do you think about that idea?”
Simon glanced at his watch to see a few hours had passed. As much as the afternoon had made him think he could give Armando a second chance, he wasn’t yet ready to discuss such matters with the man who had attempted to rape his wife.
“I’m sorry, Armando, but I have to leave. Maybe we will continue this discussion another time.”
“Thank you, Simon, and thank you so much for meeting with me this afternoon.”
As Simon made his way home, he thought about some of the things they had discussed. He did agree with Armando that lust could cause people to revert to their primal levels. He could feel the power involved in sex, especially sex with Sarah. It gave him power; in a way, he felt he became power. That was why marriage was very good for him because it allowed him to contain and safely express that part of himself. As he hurried down the Spanish Steps, he knew Sarah would be happy to hear he was willing to give Armando a second chance.
38
The First Quartet
The last days of February and the first few weeks of March 2013 were a very strange time. World attention was focused on Rome when Pope Benedict XVI stepped down February 28, yet would remain in Vatican City as Pope Emeritus. After a brief renovation, Benedict would reside in the Mater Ecclesiae, a convent on the edge of the Vatican gardens formerly used by nuns to pray for the pope and the Church. Simon grumbled to himself while pouring his morning coffee, “The nuns get dumped so their residence can be turned into a nursing home for an ailing pope. Ratzinger always gets what he wants. I suppose he’ll spend a fortune to have Gorgeous Georg decorate it. Oh well, it’s a very exciting day in Rome—the conclave.”
Sarah sat on the couch next to him with a cup of green tea—these days coffee gave her morning sickness. She hoped Simon was in a good mood today. With Vatican events shifting so radically, he had withdrawn his next installment of “Between the Sheets in Roma.” The papal interregnum was unprecedented, since nothing like it had occurred in eight hundred years, and the conclave’s integrity was seriously tainted by the abuse scandal. A significant number of attending cardinals were implicated in the scandals but had not been defrocked. They still had the right to vote for the next pope! The allegations against cardinals Godfried Danneels of Belgium, Sean Brady of Ireland, Roger Mahoney of Los Angeles, and Justin Rigall of Philadelphia were extensive and serious. Regardless, the perpetrators arrived for the conclave in long limousines like Hollywood stars attending the Oscars.
A new pope would be chosen to win back the laity’s loyalty and adoration. In Simon’s opinion, the conclave was not authentic and he said so in print. He resented having to let his next “Between the Sheets” article go, since it satirized the broad-based homosexual clergy easily blackmailed by higher-ups in the hierarchy. He felt that setting the present cast of characters back in the days of Olimpia Maidalchini and Innocent X perfectly captured the flavor of the uproar going on behind closed doors. Oh well, at least I can pass it by Claudia for a good laugh, and I’ve had my chuckles. Sarah snuggled next to him, her freshly washed hair smelling like peach blossoms. He treasured his newfound domestic joy. She was so patient and sweet! He put his arm around her shoulder not knowing she felt frustrated. She was experiencing bizarre reality distortions, and she was anxious to have a serious talk with Claudia and Armando about them.
She had met Armando for lunch just the week before, since Matilda and Pietro were still at the castle. Simon still didn’t trust Armando enough to feel comfortable about Sarah meeting him alone at the Pierleoni house, so they’d agreed to lunch at a Chinese restaurant near her apartment. Her pregnancy was making her feel so sick, and the only thing she could eat was rice. Armando thought it was funny, saying what she really liked was the sweet and sour sauce, which was basically true. First he apologized to her again and she accepted it. Then he described his analysis with Lorenzo Gianinni and the landscape of his inner world. Mysterious archetypes and symbols were pouring out on his canvases; he’d become a fountain of creativity. She could easily see the change in him and promised she’d come with Simon to see his work as soon as possible.
Simon was waiting for her to speak, since he could see her wheels turning as she sipped her tea. “Simon, do you think we can have Claudia and Armando over as soon as the conclave concludes?”
Simon knew Sarah was delighted to see the change in Armando
and wanted to have him as a friend. He wanted her to be happy, especially as she hadn’t been feeling well. “Yes, I definitely want to find out more about Armando’s transformation. I guess that means you still feel like it went well with him the other day.”
Sarah smiled and snuggled in closer. “It did. I could see the change in him, just like Claudia said. He’d already apologized to me before for his behavior, but this time it was more sincere, perhaps because he understands more why he did what he did.”
Simon nodded. “I’m glad you are happy.” He gave her a brief hug and then stood and swung his laptop bag over his shoulder. “I’ll be out on the streets this afternoon talking to people to describe the mood in Rome for the Times. Americans are always curious about conclaves, a throwback to the Middle Ages. But remember sometimes it’s weeks before we see the smoke.”
This time it didn’t take weeks. Simon was gathered with some colleagues at their favorite café when everyone’s phones started ringing at once. It was only the second day of the conclave, and Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina had already been selected! He would be called Francis, and he was the first pope from the Americas as well as the first Jesuit. Simon was completely amazed, as were all the other reporters.
“Well,” he began, “I think the world is having a psychosis! Any of you feel that way?”
Bergoglio had been so far off the radar that only a few of them even knew who he was. A reporter he’d always liked from the Herald Tribune said, “Can anybody tell me why a rotting pack of sexual predators in red hats and skirts picked a guy who actually may be a good person? I thought they were going to pull out another slime-ball, didn’t you?”
“I did,” Simon said. “His Jesuit background intrigues me. The Jesuit order protects the pope, so how can one of them be pope? Anyway, it’s done and we’ll see what it means. Francis seems to be a fine choice. Do you suppose something good happened for a change? I’m going home to my wife.” He got up to go as a reporter from the San Francisco Chronicle grabbed his arm. “Simon, I think maybe something good did happen for a change. I can just feel it.”
About a week after the conclave, Simon, Sarah, Claudia, and Armando met together for the first time to look deeper into the truth they were all so interested in uncovering. Sarah had sprouted daffodil bulbs for the spring equinox, and the subtle aroma permeated the kitchen. The gas fire was on, taking off the chill as they gathered in the living room. Claudia opened the discussion. “I propose we become a quartet playing our minds as instruments to ascertain the nature of reality, since some kind of shift is happening that may jeopardize or accelerate our existence.”
As the others nodded, Claudia began. “A bizarre acceleration of events occurred during 2011 and 2012—the Arab Spring, the Syrian war, Fukushima, Wikileaks, Vatileaks, and the pope’s bizarre resignation. The failure of people in power is widely touted on the Internet, and everywhere tiny cell phone cameras expose previously hidden abuses. Widespread chaos is spreading even further because information technology achieved global connection in 2011, the unification of the collective mind. We don’t need to discuss the details of these accelerating events, since we can barely track it. Rapid change is ubiquitous, and I can’t remember what happened two days ago!
Claudia wished she could smoke; it helped her think, but Sarah had forbidden it in her house. “I am interested in the forces driving these collective events. Sarah and I are both certain something entirely new is going on. Armando, you are an artist and open to unusual ideas. Simon, you are the skeptic, the critical analyst. Sarah, you are the seer. My contribution is Mayan Calendar research. So with everyone’s permission, I begin with the ending of the calendars, since millions have wondered what it means: if anything did happen within this time frame, would we actually be able to detect a shift? One major calendar tracks 5,125 years of history through 2012, and another main one tracks 16.4 billion years of evolution through 2011. I also think there were many more calendars that explore these cycles, things the elite have studied in secret.”
“Well if there are so many versions of the calendar, how do we know which one to abide by, which one to believe?” the skeptic chimed in.
“For me,” Claudia said, “the most meaningful interpretation is the 16.4 billion-year-long evolutionary analysis, as the 5,125-year calendar is only one of the nine phases of this greater calendar. However, the great value of the 5,125-year calendar is it calls attention to the domination of the patriarchy, the addictive control system that is destroying nature and the feminine. One thing we can be sure of is the old world is collapsing to create space for something new.” She looked at Simon, thinking he would push the idea.
Simon leaned forward. “Well, I think these calendars did nail the shift, but how could the Maya have known that a few thousand years ago? Since being able to predict what will happen makes money, do you think the global elite know all about this? Is that the reason for the peculiar debunking of 2012 in the media? Also, does the Church know?” Simon stood up and began to pace as his train of thought ramped up. Claudia and Sarah settled in, knowing this could go on for a while. But Simon’s enthusiasm was new to Armando, so he gave Simon his undivided attention. “After all, the European elite raided the Maya heritage and claimed they burned thousands of calendars, but who says they burned them all? Of course, a few of them survived that inform us of the end point, such as the remarkable Coba Stele, which is the source of the 16.4 billion-year calendar interpretation. Maybe the records that describe the meaning of 2012 were stolen and hidden for elite eyes only? Even though I’m the designated skeptic, I begin with the assumption the Maya did nail something that would happen now. If we start there, then we can use our time to figure out what they thought would happen now and how it might affect us. Armando, you had that life-changing regression the very day the Calendar ended. Do you think this was possible for you because some kind of new potential was suddenly available to you and your analyst?”
Claudia and Sarah both noticed Simon said “new potential.” Both of them wondered if the great change would be in male behavior, something they both hoped for. The patriarchy was still holding on like a crab gripping rock in heavy surf. The resistance to male control, however, was playing out behind closed doors in personal relationships. Some men were genuinely supporting women in their careers and caring for infants and small children, blurring the lines of the defined gender roles that contributed so much to the patriarchy’s dominance.
Armando cleared his throat. “I have been painting the scenes I see in strange parallel worlds where puppet masters pull the strings that make us dance. What if great change first starts in other worlds? Going back to that strange day, I was desperate; so was Lorenzo, so he regressed me. It was risky because he knew demons possessed me. When these forces are unleashed, sometimes an exorcism is needed. That day, something mysterious was leading both of us to the edge of reality. I don’t even remember the drive to Orvieto because I was on autopilot. Since my personal hell terrorized you and Claudia, Sarah, combining this experience with your studies, I wonder what you have to say about how this all relates to our understanding of evil in the world. Do you think the Church unbinds demons in the faithful by means of sexual abuse? That’s what they did to me, and I lived with a monster inside for over thirty years.” He sighed. “I didn’t have to let it out, I know. Yet, I liked the way it felt to be the lizard, the power over other people, especially women. I made that choice, and I have to live with the consequences. Regardless, it all began with a priest, with an act I believe was fully supported by the hierarchy. The most shocking thing is that he used my first Confession as an opportunity to get me. What are their ultimate plans? You’ve been to my family home. The Church has always wanted to get their hands on it, so maybe that’s why they went after me.”
Always able to answer questions through high sources when asked directly, Sarah answered clearly, “Sexual abuse, and that includes sexual repression, is used to beat the laity into slavery. This has been g
oing on for at least sixteen hundred years with the Vatican as the control center. The hierarchy knows sexual abuse rips people open to black forces that implant demons, so my issue is, why? There seems to be only one answer: any god that would ask for the sacrifice of a child, like Yahweh asked of Abraham, is a demon! These bloodthirsty Canaanite practices are re-imprinted during Masses celebrated continuously all over the globe—the son sacrificing himself to the father. Notice this ritual was invented during the 5,125-year patriarchal phase, so the ending of this phase may signal the arrival of truth. It’s even worse when sexual abuse is combined with the sacraments. So, Claudia, you say you learned things from Armando. What did you learn?”
Claudia was on the couch leaning way back in an effort to cut the tension, still longing for a cigarette. Nobody was drinking either. It will be hard to answer this question without smoking or drinking. She took the measure of Sarah’s intent green eyes, and said, “You’ve heard about yin and yang, the balance between the dark and light? Well, that is not an idea for me; I experience it. You were in distress and I loved you, Armando. I had to endure sexual practices I despised, which made me strong against your demons. You were very dark, so you shoved me into the light where a magical world opened! All of us have light and darkness within; sometimes it is our interactions with others that bring out one side or the other. I have experienced realms beyond space and time where high beings live that are magnetically drawn into our lives. Most people don’t know that, but I do. These beings live in me and inform me about astonishing things that almost no one believes could be true. This is a huge subject, one I’ve barely touched on even with Sarah. She travels in these worlds all the time, whether she knows it or not. To avoid getting too complicated for now, I’ll allude to the second dimension just below this one, where Armando was trapped, the Underworld. I went there with him many times; I know the landscape of the lower world.”
Revelations of the Ruby Crystal Page 40
