Soon the scenery changed from large green paddocks to trees and then houses as they reached the outskirts of Perth. She’d had to bite her tongue a few times to stop herself from asking where they were going.
Troy was heading towards the city and as they got close to Victoria Park he turned off Shepperton Road. Minutes later he was pulling into a large car park. It wasn’t full and from where Troy parked she could see a big oval.
‘Where are we?’ she asked.
‘Browns Stadium. Come on.’
Troy waited by the bonnet as she got out, stretched each arm and then made her way over to him. He led her through some large trees to the grassed area on the side of the oval. On the opposite side she could see the clubhouse and stands. Why would he bring her to a footy match? Maybe this was a team Troy once coached?
Troy stopped and sat down on the grass, gesturing for her to do the same. When she didn’t move straight away, he said, ‘Please, Indi.’
As she sat down, a good half a metre from him, he pulled a packet of Chicos from his pocket, opened them and offered them to Indi. She had to admit, she was hungry. She grabbed a handful. ‘Thanks.’
They sat in silence, chewing on Chicos while a few more people found places around them. But the crowd was rather small. Maybe the teams were on the bottom of the ladder, like the Saints had been.
‘I’ve been meaning to bring you here for a while. Well, not here exactly, but to one of these games,’ said Troy.
Indi gave him a blank look.
He turned back to the oval. ‘They’re part of the WAWFL. Women’s football.’
‘I see,’ said Indi. Troy had brought her to a girls’ footy game?
She watched in silence as the teams came out onto the field and began to play. Troy threw the bag of Chicos back at her. It would tide her over until lunch.
The game really wasn’t that bad. Some of the girls had impressive skills and no doubt, just like her, had grown up playing the game. Indi shivered from the cold and then regretted it as Troy put his big jacket over her. It warmed her instantly. But now she was encompassed in the delicious scent of Troy. She hunkered down into the jacket, then glanced at Troy. He sat with his legs crossed, his black hoodie hopefully keeping him warm enough. But what did she care?
‘What do you think? Some of them are pretty good, hey? You’d show up most of them though.’ Troy didn’t smile. He was being serious. Did he really think she was that good? That knowledge just made her feel even more confused.
‘Some of them are brilliant. I’d actually looked into joining a team when I was in Perth. I wasn’t far from joining when . . .’ Indi let her words trail off.
‘Your mum got sick?’ he said, his voice gentle.
She could only nod.
‘Have you thought of coming back to play?’ Troy was picking at the grass between his legs.
‘No. I never gave joining a team any thought after that. Hyden’s my home now. Life changes and your priorities change. Besides, I still get to have a kick with the boys. That’s enough for me.’
‘You sure? Like I said, you’d be great out there.’ Troy cleared his throat. ‘I won’t be repeating this but Jasper was right when he said you’re better than some of the guys on the team.’
Indi couldn’t help it, she smiled. Coming from Troy, this meant a lot. ‘Thanks. Don’t worry; no one would believe you’d ever said it.’ Indi admired the women in their footy gear. ‘You know, seeing them out there I do feel envious. Growing up I just wanted to be able to play and be taken seriously as a player. But now that all seems far less important than living at home and supporting the club. Life goes on and I guess I found something I’m more passionate about.’
‘Hearing you talk makes me homesick,’ Troy said. ‘The way you love your town and its people, it makes me miss my family farm and you nearly make me wish I could settle somewhere again. A place where I could feel like you do.’
‘Who’s to say you won’t? Maybe Hyden is just the place. Shall I run you through what we have to offer?’
Troy leaned his head back and laughed. ‘No, I think you’ve done that enough already. I think I could become a tour guide myself now after hanging out with you,’ he said.
They fell quiet again and Indi wondered what else was playing on Troy’s mind. A few times he went to speak but lost his nerve. She snuggled into his jacket and waited.
‘I used to come and watch a few of the WAWFL games. A while back now.’ Troy was chewing on his lower lip. It was deliciously distracting.
‘Really? You had an old girlfriend who used to play?’ she asked.
‘No, she didn’t play but Peta brought me to a game. When I got sick as a kid – I had a bad virus – I had to give up football. It nearly killed me. But Peta . . . well, she blew into my life and brought me to one of these games and told me that I could still have that future in football, just different to how I’d always pictured it. She was . . .’ Troy stopped.
Indi turned, leaning closer to him. His face was tense and his eyes sad. Her heart ached for him. ‘She was something special?’ she said. He didn’t need to answer. Indi could tell just by looking at Troy that Peta had meant the world to him.
He turned his gaze to her, his eyes drinking her in. ‘Yes, she was my first love and I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.’
Troy smiled but there were tears in his eyes.
‘She, um, passed away before we married.’ He went back to picking at the grass. ‘I had it all planned out, you know. We’d been together for three amazing years and just like that she was gone. I don’t think I’ve ever quite got over it.’ Troy turned his head away.
The fact that he was so cut up, his emotions oozing out of his normally hard shell, shocked Indi a little. She reached over and squeezed his arm. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Troy kept his head tilted away but his hand came to rest on hers. Indi realised she had shuffled closer towards him. She drew her hand back, regretting the loss of warmth, hating that she missed his touch. She was trying to understand what all this meant. Did Troy not want to get into anything with her because of Peta?
Indi didn’t know what else to say so she just sat quietly by his side, and Troy didn’t speak about it any further. She figured he’d opened up enough for one day.
After the footy finished they went to a café for lunch. As they headed back to the ute, Troy asked if there was anything she wanted to do in the city while they were there.
‘No, I’m good.’
‘Do you mind if I make a quick stop before we go home?’ he asked.
‘Of course not.’ She wasn’t in any rush. Just being with Troy on her own was special. It was as if he wanted to trust her, to open up to someone – and he hadn’t brought Grace.
Troy drove to the other side of the city and pulled into a large cemetery.
His fingers gripped the steering wheel. ‘You don’t have to come,’ he said. ‘I won’t be long.’ She could tell that he’d appreciate some company.
‘It’s okay. I don’t mind,’ Indi said, even though she hated cemeteries.
Troy locked his ute, but not before he pulled out a bunch of flowers from the esky on the back seat. He smiled. ‘Mrs Bateson put these together for me.’
‘Yeah, she’s good like that.’ As they walked through the rows of headstones Indi knew who they were off to see. They arrived at Peta’s grave and Indi noticed the date on the headstone: it was the anniversary of Peta’s death.
Troy put the flowers in the little vase, plucked out one of the yellow daisies and kept it in his hand. He crouched down, his fingers trailing over her name on the headstone. Tears filled Indi’s eyes, not for a girl she’d never known, but for the love that Troy had lost. She did the sums – Peta was twenty-three years old when she died, Troy had been only twenty-one.
‘She was my age,’ Indi whispered.
Troy stood up, his smile so heartbreakingly sad. Indi stepped towards him and hugged him. She felt his arms wrap around her and he d
ropped his head to her shoulder. ‘Thanks, Indi,’ he whispered before she pulled away.
Indi stepped aside, letting him have some time alone. She wondered if he spoke aloud to Peta. If he did, what would he be saying? But the question burning the most was how she died. Was Troy there? Was it a car accident?
After five minutes Troy returned to her side, the yellow daisy still in his hand. On the way back he took her a different route and paused to put the flower on the grave of a young man called George Gilbert. On his headstone it read, ‘Taken from us too soon.’
‘Another friend?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, he was a real lifesaver. You ready for home?’ he said, changing the subject. Indi would have loved to hear all about Peta and George but Troy remained silent. Bringing Indi here today was probably as close as he could get to sharing and she’d just have to be happy with that – for now.
‘Let’s go.’ Indi hooked her arm through Troy’s and he didn’t push her away. If anything, he pulled her closer as if needing her strength to walk. It was another long and quiet drive home, but for very different reasons.
When Troy finally pulled up in his driveway, the sun was just touching the horizon, casting golden beams through the clouds.
‘Indi, I want you to understand that we will never be more than friends.’ Troy couldn’t keep his gaze on her. Instead he stared at the steering wheel. ‘I’m still not over Peta and I don’t want to hurt you. I’m a bit messed up,’ he said with a shrug.
Indi leaned across, putting her hand on his thigh. He tensed. ‘I’ll always be your friend, Troy.’ She said what he wanted to hear but deep down Indi knew she’d always be hoping for more, hoping that one day he’d be ready to move on and into another meaningful relationship, hoping it would be with her.
‘I’m glad you told me about Peta, and one day I hope you’re ready to tell me more about her and her life.’
Troy should be remembering what they had, sharing it, reliving it with joy, not holding it in. Four years was a long time to bury something like that.
His hand went over hers, but he kept his head down, as if afraid to face her. ‘Thanks, Indi. I don’t . . . I’ve never . . . I’m no good with talking about the hard stuff, you know.’
Indi smiled. ‘Yeah, I know. See you at training.’ She slid her hand off his leg and shuffled out of his ute. She felt like he’d shared something deep and meaningful with her but at the same time he’d made sure to keep her at a distance.
Indi realised she was still wearing Troy’s jacket and later that night, when she crawled into bed, she kept it by her pillow. His powerful scent of woodland spices kept her tingling with desire.
Her heart was too heavily invested to give up on Troy now.
26
INDI had a crazy week at work. A train at weird hours every second day and on the off-days they were busy in Hyden, trucking in grain from South East Hyden. By Thursday night it was raining and so, for the few who’d bothered to show up, they trained in the clubhouse. Indi set up stations with skipping ropes, free weights and a few handballing exercises.
Troy had also come prepared and drew out some set plays on the whiteboard. He went through the strategies and made sure everyone felt prepared for the next game.
‘We’re playing Nukarni. They’ll be hard work but I know you’re up for the challenge. All right, lads, that’s all. Just bring your guts on game day,’ said Troy as he waved them off. Then he turned to Indi, who was busy packing away the weights. ‘How’s Jasper’s ankle holding up?’
Jasper had been doing some light training the last few weeks and Indi had been strapping it and keeping a close eye on his progress.
‘Good, actually. I think he’s ready to test it out at next week’s training.’ Troy smiled at the news and Indi melted. They were back to pretending to be friends, pretending that there wasn’t a current running between them, pretending that nothing had ever happened. Indi tried hard but she couldn’t look at him without remembering the kiss. It made her shiver every time she replayed that night in her mind. She found thinking of Troy and Grace together helped get rid of the image. It shot down any romantic dreams in a millisecond.
‘Great stuff.’ Troy turned to pick up his folders when they were interrupted by Spud.
‘Hey, you guys, a few of us are heading to the pub. You coming?’ he asked.
Indi could use a cold beer about now. ‘Sure, Spud. Love to.’ Spud came up and wrapped an arm around her.
‘Is this a date?’ Spud asked hopefully. Indi pulled a face and shook her head. ‘What about you, Yoda? You comin’?’ Spud waited for his reply, his arm still squeezing Indi close.
Troy glanced at them for a brief second before cleaning off the board. ‘Na, early night for me. I’m beat.’
‘All righty, then. Let’s go, Miss Wilson,’ said Spud.
Indi would have normally pushed Spud away but she liked the flash of jealousy she saw in Troy’s gaze. With a smile she wrapped her arm around Spud and said goodbye to Troy.
‘It could be a date, if you buy all my beers and dinner,’ she said.
‘Heck, I’ll buy you whatever you want.’
Indi didn’t glance back, even though she wanted to. Outside she stepped out of Spud’s arms and headed to her ute. ‘I’ll race you there,’ she said, running to her ute.
She pulled up at the pub just in front of Spud. ‘Looks like you’re buying the first round,’ she teased.
Spud was still in his training gear, and he was looking fit. Amazing what some exercise could do. He held the pub door open for her and together they went and sat at the bar. A few of the team were already halfway through their first beers. Jasper and James were further down the bar with Limp and two of the Duckworth brothers. Grace and a friend were playing pool and some of the netball girls were sitting around a table by the window. ‘Gee, bit of a crowd tonight,’ she said as she pulled out some money.
Spud pushed her hand back. ‘Na, I got it.’ He gave her a wink and paid for their beers.
Indi hadn’t got to the bottom of her glass before Grace came over to join them. Grace wasn’t someone Indi felt like being near right then.
‘Hey, Spud. Hi, Indi,’ she said, sending a smile straight to Spud.
‘Hi, Grace,’ Indi mumbled.
‘So how was training tonight? Get wet?’ Grace asked.
Spud shook his head. ‘Na, we trained inside. Indi made sure we didn’t slack off.’ He shot Indi a glare before smiling.
‘Well it’s paying off, check out your guns,’ Grace said gripping his forearm.
Spud almost choked on his beer and Indi felt sorry for him. He wasn’t used to so much attention.
Spud got up from his stool. ‘I’ll be back in a tick.’ He headed off to chat to someone, to go to the toilet or just to gather himself.
Indi turned to her. Grace had her red locks up in a high ponytail. ‘What are you doing hitting on Spud?’ Indi asked her. ‘Don’t scare the poor boy.’
Grace glanced towards Spud’s retreating backside. ‘Why not? Spud’s really nice. He’s always been sweet to me and he’s hot. I can’t believe I missed it.’ She rested her elbow on the bar, leaning her head on her hand.
‘Yes, he is, so don’t mess with him unless you’re serious.’ Indi realised what she was saying. ‘Hey, what about Troy?’
Grace jerked her head up but then shrugged and rested her chin back in her hand. ‘What about him?’
‘Come on – you were spotted leaving his house. Everyone knows.’
Grace sighed and waved her hand. ‘Oh, that’s just gossip. Nothing happened,’ she said.
‘What?’ Indi bent closer as Grace screwed up her face.
‘Nothing happened,’ she drawled out. ‘We talked, I fell asleep on his couch, he made me coffee and breakfast the next morning – that was it.’ She shrugged. ‘What a waste.’
‘You never . . .?’ Indi couldn’t believe it. Even Troy had let her believe he’d slept with Grace, but why?
‘Afra
id not. He said I was gorgeous and that before he came to Hyden he would have, but he’d changed and for some reason he couldn’t. It just sounds like some lame excuse, if you ask me. He’s probably gay.’
Indi almost snorted. She downed the last of her beer, slamming the glass on the table, and stood up. ‘Thanks, Grace. I gotta go. Good luck with Spud.’
‘Oh, okay. See ya.’
Indi headed for the door with only one thought on her mind. Troy.
She drove to his house, parked behind his ute and navigated the way to his front door in the dark, only crushing one plant in the process. She knocked.
‘Hang on, just a minute.’
Finally he opened the door, his hair wet and the smell of soap wafting towards her. She had to be strong but already her insides were melting with desire.
‘Indi,’ he said. ‘What are you doing here?’ Automatically he stepped away from her, heading towards the lounge room. Indi shut the door and followed him.
‘To find out why you lied to me – well, lied by omission.’
He swung around, wary. His eyes studied her as she inched closer.
‘I don’t understand,’ he said. The way his hand came up to massage his neck said otherwise.
‘You know.’ If he wanted her to spell it out, then she was fine with that. ‘Why did you let me believe you spent the night with Grace? Did you think that would scare me off?’
His eyes grew wide and he stepped back again, his escape route blocked by the coffee table. ‘I just let you believe what you wanted.’
‘You wanted to hurt me?’ she squeaked, her throat tight.
Outback Heart Page 20
