High above, came a sharp, high pitched screech, heralding the hail of bombs that blanketed the factory district on the other side of the city in horrid pillars of flame and smoke.
To my surprise, I saw Ai, one of the few times I had seen her since returning to the capital. She was standing at the balcony in the next tower, her solemn face lit by the light of the distant blaze. All this time she’d been alone, locked away in the other side of the palace. A traitorous daughter to her father, she was made a prisoner, kept away from everyone she knew. Sometimes I caught glimpses of her walking about in public with Minister Lu. She’d become nothing more than a beautiful, decorative piece used to enhance the man's regal image. While my days serving in the palace had dulled my sympathies for my country, I recognized in her face, a great sadness, one that seemed to bring her on the verge of collapse.
How does the fires of carnage look to a girl with eyes like hers? Surely, her unique abilities must have presented her images far beyond what I could ever comprehend. Perhaps she could actually see the people in the distance and recognize the very essence of their agony. At the very least, she seemed more attuned with what was happening, as if the city spoke to her in a language that only the spirits could understand. Whatever she saw, brought me witness to another moment of weakness, as I could make out the soft shimmer of tears against her cheeks.
The fire raged for days afterwards, sending smoke clouds that covered the streets and roofs with gray ash. The factory district, with its chemicals and oils, fueled an awful fire that eventually roamed freely about the outskirts. Though no one could hope to extinguish its fury, Ai and a few other chienkuu ko had been summoned to use the ether and guide its path away from the residential districts. Through their efforts, many were saved, while Kassashimei and I were left longing, forgotten behind the palace walls, sweeping ash and soot from the rooftops and walkways.
I remembered that I was doing exactly that when I met Han and Kidou again for the first time since my exile. I had just finished sweeping the garden walkways and was carrying a water bucket and a mop to wash out the patio floors outside the shrines when I found the both of them strolling the grounds. There were two soldiers escorting them, eyeing them like hungry tigers ready to pounce should they sense any disobedience. They wore simple, military tunics colored in the same drab brown that their escorts wore. I was certain, that like most children of my kind, they were in the service of the Imperial Air Fleet.
I was so happy to see them, regardless of the sheer dreariness of the time. Even though I was given little choice when I was ultimately taken away from my friends so long ago, I still suffered the thought that I had somehow abandoned them. During my time out of the country, I was certain that those I had left behind would be left to endure under General Fung's harsh regime. But here they were. They were safe, and to my relief, they looked unharmed. Unable to contain myself, I ran up to them, but before I could get their attention, another boy in a military tunic called out as he scurried from the other side of the courtyard. His face was all too familiar to me. It was Masa, and he was gravely distressed. I hid behind the wall of a nearby building and turned my ear to their conversation.
"Han, Kidou, I knew I would find you here," Masa said catching his breath. "Something just happened, something you won't like."
"We‘ve never liked anything you‘ve said." Han's tone was distrustful.
"Ever since Minister Lu made you the senior amongst us," Kidou said, "you've been giving us nothing but grief. Maybe you should explain first why Han and I are the only ones with soldiers following us everywhere we go."
"I know why," Han continued sarcastically, "you're jealous aren't you? Yes, that's it. That's always been it. Ever since Mai was assigned to me as my shyo mah, you've despised me. It's no secret that the both of you have had feelings for each other. We know the both of you make out behind the trees in the eastern gardens.
I accidentally crash a sky boat in a training exercise and she walks away completely unharmed, and yet, the temple masters accuse me of trying to escape. It was you who told them that wasn't it. I know it was you. So why is Kidou being punished too? Is it because you told them that he was my accomplice? You got what you wanted. You have Mai, your precious shyo mah back, so why don't you just leave us alone. Kidou . I don't want to hear what you have to say."
"Would the both of you just shut up." Masa boomed, which left me shuttering. I peered around the corner and saw his face flush. It was obvious he was embarrassed, but he was also very angry. "I don't care what you think of me. I'm just going to say what I have to say and that's all. Rune, your hometown, was bombed."
A long silence followed. Masa was probably waiting for them to say something, but he must have found their reply in their expressions, because he started to turn away and leave them be.
"When?" Han asked, giving Masa pause.
"A few days ago."
"Did anyone live?"
"No. All of Rune was wiped out. There were no survivors."
There was a whisper in my ear, one which gave me a start.
"He likes to lie doesn't he?"
Looking up, I found Kassashimei hanging over my back.
"Where did you come from?" I whispered harshly.
"He's lying you know. I'm good at sensing these things," she said ignoring my question. "I bet his father, Minister Lu put him up to this. He's probably just trying to give them an excuse to fight in this war. Terr, you know the truth. You know what really happened to your village. You should probably tell them."
Her fist prodded the small of my back as she shoved me out of my hiding place. I stumbled out into the middle of the walkway gasping in surprise. Alarmed, the soldiers turned in my direction watching me as if I were some sort of wolf that had wandered onto the grounds.
"Don't listen to him," I said regaining my composure.
Han and Kidou were surprised, perhaps more shocked at the sight of my dirty, tattered appearance than anything else. I took a step forward, but the soldiers commanded me to halt.
"Terr, is that you?" Han asked.
"I know what happened to our village," I continued, "and it wasn't bombed."
"Terr?" Kidou squinted trying to make out my face, which was hidden amidst my dirt-smeared cheeks and wiry, unkempt hair. "It is you isn't it?"
"Yes, it's me and I need to tell you the truth."
Masa forced himself between us. "They don't need to hear anything from a disgusting peasant like you. You're not even one of us anymore. Now leave or else I'll tell the servant overseers of your disrespect and have you caned."
"Masa, why are you like this?" I approached him with such emotion, that I felt my cheeks grow numb. The soldiers took my shoulders, preventing me from going any further. "You sister, Ai, is here in the palace. Shouldn't you be taking care of her, instead of wasting your time spouting lies to my friends."
"You shut up about my sister," he replied. "This is war, and I'm fighting to keep her safe, just as these two should be fighting to keep our country safe. And what is it you're doing? Scrubbing toilets and cleaning grime from the palace stoves? You don't even have the right to breath the same air as us, let alone speak to us."
"Listen to yourself. You never even wanted to be a chienkuu ko, and now you're acting all high and mighty, as if that's the only thing you've ever wanted."
"It's better than being a coward."
"You're wrong. You are a coward." I regretted my words. I was not thinking clearly. My face felt hot with anger and I searched for anything that I could possibly say that would rob him of his pride. "Why don't you go back to your room and cry and whine about your sister like you used to back at the Imperial Temple."
He punched me hard in the face, leaving me breathless. I coughed, then looked back him with a piercing glare, daring him to hit me again. And he did.
Kassashimei came running from around the corner and shoved him, sending him careening away. He became disoriented and blindly swung his fist again. Kassashimei cried
out as she too was struck in the face. She fell to her knees, cupping her nose while Han and Kiddou took Masa's arms.
"Kass!" I shouted, struggling against the soldiers' grip. "Masa, you'll pay that I swear you will!"
Masa was shocked at first, realizing what he’d done, looking down at the girl who's nose streamed blood all over the ground. He was breathing hard, his nostrils flaring; and then he shook free from Kidou's hold and hit him in the chest with his free arm and elbowed Han in the stomach.
"Take the peasant and that girl away," he commanded icily.
As Kassashimei and I were dragged away, the other soldier took hold of my other friends and forced them in the other direction.
"Don't listen to what he says about our village," I said to them. “It wasn't bombed. It was the plague. The Empire abandoned our families. They were left to die."
The tiny island village of Rune. There was no reason for the enemy to bomb such a place, especially since there were no large factories or hardly any industry to speak of. As a matter of fact, in the records that followed the war, the countries of the far west did not even know my village existed.
Even so, the desperate nature of the time demanded such lies be printed in newspapers and announced from radios all over Rui Nan. Rune was among the other villages and towns that were falsely announced as destroyed by the bombings. Conveniently, they too had also succumbed to the plague several months before.
I saw Han and Kidou again a week later, this time from a distance. The ash from the previous night’s bombings had drifted in through the open windows leaving stains on the carpets and furniture. I’d been wandering the second floor of one of the palace buildings, scrubbing out the dark patches, when I heard a resounding voice from outside. The commanding boom of General Fung's voice was unmistakable and as I gazed out from the window, overlooking the central courtyard I witnessed him giving a speech to a vast gathering of soldiers, sailors, and officers all standing in neat rows and columns.
Beside them, were the chienkuu ko, all of differing ages, all wearing military uniforms. Masa stood at the front, Mai, his shyo mah, at his side. Every one of their faces were firm yet, submissive, with the exception of two: Han and Kidou, as they seemed on the verge of disobedience. I imagine that if it were not for the two soldiers hovering next to them, they would have most certainly run off. A few times I saw them threatening to leave, but were left struggling instead as the soldiers kept them still.
"The enemy, they think they have driven us away. They think us defeated." The General presented himself atop the palace steps, his medals gleaming, the brass on his uniform without a single blemish. He was a monument unto himself, an imposing figure to be feared and respected as his voice echoed from every wall. "They think that just because we have lost the mainland, we are weak, that we are no longer a threat to them. They underestimate us. They are foolish, careless. They do not know that we are, but bears waiting patiently in our dens.
The time has come for the enemy to know the worth of our warrior spirit. We will retake the continent again, this time with a fleet larger than any the world has ever seen. We will cover the sky in the fire of our guns and watch as their ships and planes fall beneath our wake.
The cowards bomb our cities, our helpless towns and villages thinking that subduing our families and loved ones will somehow break our spirits. But Rui Nan is a sacred place, the place of our ancestors. They will face divine punishment for desecrating our soil. As you take to the skies know that all of Rui Nan, the blessings of heaven and earth, and the will of the people are with you. Lay upon the enemy your wrath and the fierce fire of our judgment."
A procession of monks paraded up and down the formations, ringing gongs and humming prayers. A short moment later, a large shrine was carried into the courtyard, sending all who witnessed it, even Han and Kidou, to their knees. At first glance, it was evident that it was very old. The molded brass decorations were dull and faded and the wood was worn and splintered in places. It was far from pristine, but it was the palace's most sacred shrine, recognized by every citizen of our country.
It was the first shrine.
Created after the death of the first emperor over two thousand years ago, it was believed that all who were fortunate enough to lay their eyes upon it would be blessed with great fortune and prosperity. Until now, it had never been taken out of the temple. Passage through the temple doors were forbidden and only a few of the most devout monks were allowed to venture inside, leaving common people to only witness its image through crude sketches and drawings printed in articles and books.
For General Fung to do such a thing, to bring the shrine into daylight for all to see was an act that, if he were a lesser man, would have certainly sentenced him to death. Such were the times that rules and spiritual tradition had to be broken for the sake of our desperate people.
"So this is where you've been hiding."
I turned to see Lai standing at the far end of the room next to the doorway. He was wearing a military tunic. Around his waist was a red sash, a color that marked him as a trainee.
"Lai. I was wondering what happened to you." I hadn’t realized it before, but my voice sounded scratchy, coarse and tired.
"No worse off than you," he said. "It’s no secret. Everyone knows what's become of you. No matter how lowly the jobs they give you, it's hard to hide a palace servant with silver eyes. You know, when I asked around for you, it took me a while to find somebody that cared enough to tell me that you were on the second floor cleaning dirt off the carpets. I guess you're not well-liked around here."
"Well liked?" I scoffed, patting the dirt from my trousers and not caring where the dust settled. "You should have seen Kassashimei a few weeks ago. She snuck a digestive herb into the tea vats and gave everyone stomach aches."
Lai laughed with a such a glow on his face that it forced me into a smile.
"How is she?" he asked. “Your shyo mah?"
"We don't fly anymore, so she's not my shyo mah. You've probably heard by now that she was hit by Masa."
"Yes I did. Everyone knows about that too."
"She's stronger than you think you know. Even though she was bleeding from her nose and she complained a lot from the pain when they rubbed salve and bandaged it, she hardly cried at all. She and I did our chores the next day and she continued to work like nothing had happened. They took the bandage off yesterday. Aside from a few of the swollen red spots on her nose, she looks fine."
"What a strange girl. I remember back at the tea house, whenever I saw her with you, it always looked like that she was watching over you almost to the point of obsession. I think she‘s committed to you Terr. Sometimes I even end up comparing her to Mai and can‘t help, but be jealous."
He dropped his eyes to the ground, his fingers idly fidgeting with his sash.
"Mai is a different person now isn't she?" I asked.
"Yes, she is. She 's in love with Masa. Wherever he goes, she follows, sort of like you and Kassashimei. All this time and I thought she was being treated as horribly as I was when I was taken by the government. Masa had been keeping her safe all along. She's upset with me though. She keeps spouting nonsense about how unpatriotic I am because I ran away, that I selfishly abandoned our people. I don't think she knows, or will ever know, why I did it."
"Is that why you're in uniform? To prove to her how devoted you are to this country?"
"No. I don't care about this country, but I do care about her. Soon, she’ll be going into battle with all those other soldiers and sailors out there, and I want to go with her. I'm not going to leave her alone again. I'm going to stay as close to her as I can, even if it means the end for the both of us."
"Stop it,” I scolded. “Ever since Madame Quoli took your sister away, you‘ve been acting like you‘ve given up. You need to stop."
"I'm ashamed of a lot of things Terr. Kidnapping Etsu was one of them, and so is not taking care of my family like I should have. Whatever happens to me, I'll accep
t it as my punishment. But you need to look at yourself too. Can you honestly say, the way you are now in all that dirt and filth, that you haven't sometimes thought of giving up? Look at you. If I died in battle, it would be on an airship high up in the sky, just as it should be. But you will remain here as the palace servant who has given up his title as a chienkuu ko. Do you even want to fly anymore? "
"I don't care about flying. I just want to survive this war and live a normal, peaceful life."
"Stop lying to yourself. When Minister Lu's men confiscated our things, I know you hid your tamma. You wouldn't let them take it from you, because you believed that you would one day return back to the life you once had." He came forward and lowered his voice, a look of sympathy smeared across his face. "Terr, I'm going to tell you a secret. Well, its not much of a secret because everyone probably already knows, including Ai, Miss Nishio, even Kassashimei, but couldn’t bring themselves to tell you. Those fainting spells you‘ve been having, those moments of weakness, it's the curse of those silver eyes. You're going to die Terr, and you may not live long enough to see the end of this war.
I'm sorry."
Purple, yellow, and then green. Those are the colors that a proper, healthy, cheinkuu ko's eyes must mature into as he trains and develops his skill. Then someday, when he becomes and adult, the green eyes usually turn brown, the common color of our people, and his ability to see the ocean of ki, disappears. Any other color, and almost certainly, there is something wrong with that child.
I was crying that night, hiding away inside one of the palace's study rooms, thinking about what Lai had said, the shocked expression Madame Quoli gave when she first saw the strange color of my eyes and the uncertainty of Miss Nishio's reaction. I knew that there was something wrong me, but to hear it affirmed from him left me shocked and paralyzed with despair. I wanted to be angry at someone, to blame anyone for my sickness. But even then, my mind numb with grief, I could not bring myself to hate a single person. Instead, I took whatever expensive objects I could find in that room and threw it on the ground and at the walls, smashing them without a single care.
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