Evernight Publishing ®
www.evernightpublishing.com
Copyright© 2015 Alexa Sinclaire
ISBN: 978-1-77233-600-9
Cover Artist: Jay Aheer
Editor: Brieanna Robertson
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DEDICATION
To my very own alpha male. Thank you for supplying me with endless inspiration.
TRUSTING STONE
Trust, 1
Alexa Sinclaire
Copyright © 2015
Prologue
It had been five years since Sebastian Stone had seen his father, and looking at the photos that were spread across his desk, he realized that he could happily go another five years and even then it would be too soon. The old man looked good for his age, he had to give him that. The photos showed him with a young woman on his arm, his new wife apparently. She was barely a year older than Sebastian. His father had always liked them young.
Sebastian wasn’t too concerned with the rest of the information in the packet. It would be his father’s fourth marriage, and after the third wife had made a play for Sebastian’s company in some twisted alimony pursuit—despite having never met her stepson and despite Sebastian having no contact with his father—he now made sure to find out about the women in his father’s life.
Not because he cared about the women that were technically his stepmothers—for however brief a time they remained married to his father—but because after having his affairs dragged through the courts last time, he was not willing to assume that his father’s mistakes wouldn’t come back to haunt him.
His father’s first mistake had been divorcing Sebastian’s mother. That had ultimately ended with her violent death, and the images of her bleeding on the diner floor were forever edged in Sebastian’s mind.
It had taken another six years of alienation and abuse from his father to realize that he couldn’t be trusted, under any circumstances. But losing trust in a parent meant losing trust in everyone else. If you couldn’t even trust the person who had brought you life, who else could you trust? No one was Sebastian’s rule. So far, it had proved him well. The few times that he let people into his life, they tended to disappoint him.
He kept things simple—business was business and there was nothing else. All personal relationships were short-lived, by Sebastian’s doing. All friendships were limited, and he was fine with that. His work was his life.
That wasn’t to say that Sebastian didn’t realize he was missing out. The photos of his father proved that, if nothing else. His father was the one man he never wanted to be jealous of, and while there was no denying the fact that Stone Senior was a scumbag of the highest order, he was also a die-hard romantic. He fell in love at a glance and fell hard, showered his women with passion and money, and rode off into the sunset with them. Until, of course, he fell out of love as fast as he’d fallen in, and that usually happened when his next target came into sight. However, at least the old man felt something.
Sebastian shoved the pictures away, turning in his chair and looking over the city. He’d have to make a change. He’d have to let someone in at some point. One thing was for sure, though, he had no idea how to start.
Chapter One
Sitting in Dr. Shepherd’s waiting room, Eden Maxwell tapped her leg nervously, checking her watch for the third time. Twenty minutes still to go until her appointment. At least that was twenty minutes away from her mother’s watchful and overly critical eye. Eden had recently started arriving deliberately early to her appointments, just to get some peace from her parents. Her mother ferried her back and forth from the appointments, but never questioned her about how they went. She didn’t just act as a chauffeur for medical visits—everywhere Eden needed to go, her mother shadowed her, making sure Eden didn’t do anything stupid or embarrassing.
Eden thought back to the day six months ago when her on-off boyfriend Joachim Benedict had driven her home from St. Leonard’s. She could still hear her father’s voice— “How could you do this to us, Eden? Everyone is talking about it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to come back from this sort of thing? This will haunt us for the rest of your life, and for what? A bit of fun?”
“Eden? You ready?” Dr. Shepherd’s voice pulled her back to the present.
“Yeah, sorry, I was miles away.” Eden smiled up at her therapist. When Eden had first walked into his office, she was practically a zombie. Previous therapists had been happy to heavily medicate her and send her home. Dr. Shepherd actually wanted to talk to her and help her recover. After the attempted gang-rape in Joachim’s fraternity house that had been the catalyst for her life falling apart, it was no surprise that Eden was barely able to get dressed in the morning. She’d attempted suicide and then been asked to leave St. Leonard’s. Now she was living with her parents, who held her responsible for everything that had happened to her and, by default, their reputation,
Her bi-weekly sessions with Dr. Shepherd had been the beginning of her true recovery. Eden knew she would never go back to being the girl she once was, but Dr. Shepherd had shown her that she could become anyone she wanted to be. If she would only let herself heal.
“What were you thinking about in there? You seemed so dazed.” Dr. Shepherd never skirted around the issue. It was one of the aspects of his approach to therapy that Eden loved. He never tried to draw her out with teasing questions. Instead, he just jumped right in and got her talking.
“My dad. I was thinking about how he referred to the attack as ‘fun.’ Like what had happened was something I wanted and then regretted. And how I guess that’s because that’s how my dad saw me, as a girl who never knew how to do anything but have fun. He was always so concerned with keeping me in line, making sure that I wore the right clothes, had the right friends, said the right thing. God, he was so pleased when I started dating Joachim. And then after all that, I messed it up anyway.”
“You got into St. Leonard’s, so surely you knew how to study. That took more than just having fun and doing what your dad told you to do.”
“Let’s be honest, Dr. Shepherd, we both know that even with my straight As, it was really my father’s name that got me into St. Leonard’s.”
“Fine, but you still kept your average high during your time there. That had nothing to do with your family’s money. You seem to keep falling back into the same trap—insisting on viewing yourself the way that others have falsely described you. Your father blames you for what happened, for being a party girl. That’s his problem, Eden, not yours. Your job isn’t to prove to him that it wasn’t your fault. Your job is to believe it wasn’t your fault. That’s for you, no one else.”
“Easier said than done when my mom is constantly reminding me how hard it will be to get married with my new reputation.”
“Ah yes, your mother, the inimitable Stepford wife.”
Eden snorted and then threw back her head and laughed. “See, Dr, Shepherd, this is why you’re the best. You get it.”
“Yes, well, we’ll see about that. Speaking of future relationships, how are things with Joachim?”
Eden dropped the smile from her face and groaned. “I don’t know. We talk every day, he’s excited about graduating and moving to New York. He tells me how much he’s going to miss me. We went to the movies this weekend and he held my hand
. It felt so weird. I know he wanted to kiss me, but it’s just too much…The thought of him…”
“What exactly is too much? The thought of being physical with another man? Or is it just Joachim?”
“I think it’s both and it’s more than that. I mean, if this whole messed up time in my life has shown me anything, it’s that I always do what they want me to do. I’m always the good girl. Sure, I used to drink at parties and stay out late, but really, I wasn’t that bad. It’s nothing compared to what most girls my age are doing. And sometimes, Joachim just feels like another thing I go along with because it’s the right thing to do. Because it keeps my parents happy, because Joachim is the golden boy and is now going to graduate and be some hot shot lawyer and probably end up on one of those eligible bachelor lists. And I see my life with him and all it has is 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, me in an apron after spending all day organizing charitable events and waiting for him to come home so we can have the perfect dinner I’ve cooked, and then after downing two martinis. We’ll have safe, mediocre sex and go to sleep.” It felt good to get it all out, although she felt guilty for actually saying it, as if she was betraying Joachim, especially after he had been such a good friend to her.
“You mean you see a life without passion.”
“God, I make Joachim sound like he’s such a stiff and he’s not. But, yeah, there’s no passion between us. I want to see stars when he kisses me. I want a life where I’m not constantly looking for a way out, thinking there might be something better elsewhere.”
“I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” Dr. Shepherd’s voice has lost its joking tone and the way he was looking at Eden made her feel like she was getting close to something, close to figuring out something about what she needed to recover.
“I feel stupid wanting that. I mean, look at what happened to me. How I can still believe in fireworks during sex and happily-ever-afters? Life isn’t like that. My life has always been mapped out for me and now I’m finally realizing that I want something else.”
“Yes, Eden, your life now, the way that you are living, is not like that and will never have passion and fireworks and happily-ever-after. Unless you do something drastic. Unless you change the way you are living. You’ll find the passion in your life when you start letting yourself believe that you can have it.”
“How do I do that?”
“Ah, Eden, that’s the answer we’re all looking for. But I think you know where to start.”
Eden looked at him incredulously. It was not the answer she was looking for.
“Alright, let’s start small. Do you want to go back to college?”
“Yes, but not St. Leonard’s. Not anywhere in Boston. In fact, scratch that, New England is off the table. Frankly, another continent would be preferable.”
“Okay, next—do you want to keep studying for your business degree?”
“No, it’s just another thing I was doing for my dad.”
“Okay, wasn’t your minor in art history? Why can’t that be your major?”
Eden nodded. Dr. Shepherd was on to something.
****
By the time her mother had parked the car in the garage and finished her lecture to Eden about making sure she found a suitable moving gift for Joachim, Eden had already started making a plan to get her life under control. Dr. Shepherd was right—she was never going to be the girl she used to be, but she could become someone else. Someone who wasn’t going to have her life planned out for her, someone who wasn’t going to be haunted the rest of the her life by the events of one horrible night, someone who would have the passion she’d always dreamed of—no matter how scared she was to try and find it.
Chapter Two
18 months later
Standing outside the student union, Eden was still blown away by the view of Edinburgh. Even though it had almost been a year since she arrived in the city, she still could never get enough of it. She scanned the scenery in front of her, taking in the Gothic and Renaissance architecture, already nostalgic for this vibrant city that she was soon to leave. She loved the wide avenues leading off into rambling sides streets full of cafes and artisan shops, full of people with accents and fashion so different to her own. Eden had moved to the city, if only for a year, to get lost in it and rebuild herself, and that’s exactly what she had done.
The coffee she’d bought from the student union cafe was burning her fingertips through the cheap Styrofoam, too thin to hold the searing temperatures from the scalding yet weak drink. She could have walked one block over and gone to a Starbucks and had a smooth mochaccino, exactly like the ones she enjoyed back in Boston, but she liked this part of the student experience—cheap coffee and hanging out with other students who had a much more laid back approach to life than what she was used to.
Although only an undergraduate, Eden technically had attended two universities in four short years. Enrolling in the St. Leonard’s exchange program meant she was now also a student at the University of Edinburgh. Compared to Boston, Eden loved Edinburgh. Restlessly, she swapped the cup from hand-to-hand, now searching the crowds of students and tourists rushing in front of her. She was waiting for her roommate, Mara, and she was running late, as usual.
As part of the exchange program, Eden had been placed in an apartment, or flat as everyone here called it, with another international student. Mara was from Spain and she was exactly what Eden needed in a roommate. Initially, Eden had applied for a single apartment, hoping she could escape the claustrophobic feeling she had experienced living in dorms, but when the administration staff explained that it wasn’t a dorm but independent living facilities, she decided to give it a try. And while the girls were eager to get along and enjoy their year abroad, they respected each other’s privacy. Furthermore, Mara had only spent a week or two in the US and had no interest in finding out about Eden’s past beyond what Eden was happy to divulge.
Mara never asked Eden what school she had gone to, or where she summered, and if she had been to the latest clubs. She never asked her who her father was or whether she could hook her up with business contacts when she graduated. Mara just didn’t care. They helped each other study for exams, cried over bruised egos from harsh professors, applied for internships, and ate cheap Chinese noodles while watching British TV shows they both struggled to understand, regardless of their mother tongues. Eden partook in it all. She could be herself and not be herself. She was different here. Not a socialite, not a debutante, and not the little whimpering junior who had to drop out of school and spend six months in recovery from a mental breakdown. She was free here. And it was all going to end in less than two weeks.
A manicured hand on her arm broke her out of her daze and she hid her disappointment to see that it wasn’t Mara, but another student, Susan Stuart, head of the American Students Abroad group.
“Eden! Hi! I was hoping to run into you.”
“Really? Why’s that?” she said with a fake smile. Eden forced herself to remain polite, despite her annoyance at having to interact with Susan. Eden was aware who Susan’s father was. Susan herself did not see the problem with advertising she was the heiress to Stuart Inc. She was exactly the sort of woman Eden was supposed to have turned into—groomed and styled to perfection with beautiful social graces—most of the time—and more than ready to step into the life her parents had already laid out for her.
“Because we’re having our last party, a real goodbye party next week. It’s at the Acer Club. Trey Walker’s parents have arranged for us to have it for the evening.”
Trey Walker was one of the more active members of the ASA group. He was on exchange from St. Leonard’s and exactly the kind of student Eden had spent the last nine months avoiding. She’d met him when she’d first arrived in Edinburgh and had reluctantly attended an ASA function at her parents’ request. He was conventionally handsome and knew it. His looks combined with his hefty trust fund gave him a confidence that Eden found repugnant. Susan, on the other hand, was clearly
a fan.
“Not sure, I’ll probably be celebrating with Mara.”
“Come on, Eden, you’ve avoided hanging out with us all year. We’ve got loads of St. Leonard’s students—well, another four—and you know we’ll bump into each other next year. Please?”
Eden was suspicious of the group for all the reasons that Susan had just mentioned. The group acted like an embassy—all-America was their approach. They ate at the few American chain restaurants in Edinburgh, and had endless care packages delivered from back home with American products that weren’t available in the Edinburgh shops. They looked like they had been plucked out of their American colleges and placed on the Edinburgh campus without missing a beat in their Abercrombie hoodies and Old Navy flip-flops. By default of the program they were all on, she knew that they all had more money than sense. After all, she was paying for this out of her own trust fund.
No, these were the sorts of students who would ask her where she went to prep school. In fact, she had recognized a few of the girls from her debutante training sessions and it made her shudder to imagine hanging out with them. Also, there was a part of her that was mortified they might know what had happened to her. Campus gossip moved fast and she couldn’t imagine that her little breakdown and the events that precipitated it would have been kept quiet enough to not reach most St. Leonard’s students.
“When is it exactly? I’ll think about it,” she finally capitulated. Eden knew that her parents would expect her to go. They had been subtly pressuring for months to connect more with some of the American students in the exchange program. After all, several of them were children of her father’s business partners, or potential ones. A part of her also knew that she would need to build the courage sooner or later to face these sorts of events. She couldn’t run from her past forever. Going would also keep her parents at bay. Eden had a hard balancing act of appeasing her parents’ incessant need to keep grooming Eden and her own desire for independence from a lifestyle that had done little to help her when she needed it.
Trusting Stone Page 1
