Sebastian held her firmly but with a stillness that Eden wanted to somehow melt away. The past 12 hours seemed like a nightmare, and finally, she was able to wake up, in his arms where she always wanted to be.
“Where did you go, Eden?” he finally asked her, maintaining the same calm in his voice as she felt in his arms, as if he might frighten her if he spoke too loudly.
“I ran. I ran and then Mara got me.”
“You can’t keep on running from me.”
Eden bit her lip. She didn’t know how to have this conversation with him. Part of her was feeling guilty, imagining how Sebastian must have felt looking for her all day, but that was a small part. She also believed that Sebastian was responsible for this situation, despite the fact that Simona was his sister. She knew so little about his life. How could she not even know that he had siblings? And why had he told her he had business to attend to if he was really just meeting up with her? Was he so ashamed of her that he didn’t want his family to meet her?
“Why not?”
Sebastian pulled away slightly until he was able to look her in the eye. “Because I’ll always find you, no matter how far you run. I found you tonight, didn’t I?”
Eden realized she had no idea how he had found her and she wasn’t sure she even wanted to. Deep down, she was happy he had. “And it looks like I did right in time by the way Michael was touching you. You promised me you would be careful.”
“No!” It was Eden’s turn to pull back and glare at him. “You don’t get to turn this around on me. Michael wanted to dance and I said no. I walked away. What I saw today is in no way comparable to Michael trying to do some dirty dancing with me. I’m not saying anything else until you explain yourself, Sebastian. You did this to me. You kept me at arm’s length and it’s your fault I thought she was your wife.”
“I’m not married, Eden. I can’t even believe you would think that.”
“She wanted me to think she was your wife. And that’s probably the most messed up part of all this. That’s what you need to explain.”
“I’ll tell you everything, but please just wait until we get back to my place. I just need to hold you now.”
As much as she needed to know who Simona really was, there was nothing more she wanted than to be held in his arms. Eden ran her hands along the back of his neck, pushing her fingers into his hair, trying to push away the image of Simona’s hand doing the same thing. Eden knew she was falling for Sebastian, but seeing him being touched by another woman had torn through her and practically stopped her heart. She knew she wouldn’t be able to survive this if Sebastian didn’t feel the same as she did.
Chapter Twenty
Sebastian lowered her onto his couch before bringing her a large glass of ice water. Her head was still buzzing from the champagne.
“Drink.”
Eden took the glass and glared at him. “Talk. Now. You’re not the only one who can give orders.”
Sebastian sat down opposite her and held his head in his hands. “Fucking hell, Eden, this isn’t easy for me. I’m still coming down from the adrenaline-fueled marathon I took around New York today.”
Eden stayed silent.
“Fine! Fuck!” Sebastian looked up now. “But let’s make a deal. You don’t ask any questions until I’m done talking and you promise to stay the night. You can’t run no matter what I tell you.”
“Why would I run again, Seb?” Eden knew he deserved the same patience that he had once shown her when she asked him to make a deal, but she couldn’t help but feel nervous.
“Do we have a deal, Eden?”
“Okay.”
He put his head back in his hands and starting talking. “Simona is really my half-sister, if that anymore. When my parents got divorced, I had virtually no contact with my father. I didn’t even know my mother had his contact details. After she died and when I arrived in London, I was surprised to learn that he had a whole new family. He’d remarried a young widow, Rebecca, who had two small children, Simona and Dillon. Initially, my father treated them as his own children and they all adored him and he got to play happy family. I, on the other hand, was shipped off to boarding school and I rarely saw them, except maybe for a day or two over the summer, but even then I was usually shunted off somewhere. When Simona was fifteen, her mother finally left my dad and he cut them all off, just like he had with my mom. Except Rebecca had her own wealth and she was able to move on relatively peacefully. But the kids, they didn’t take it well. My dad had played father to them for over a decade and suddenly, he wouldn’t even take their phone calls. He didn’t care about them. It had all just been to keep Rebecca happy.
“Dillon rolled with it and moved on after working out some anger issues and getting in contact with me. I think he’d always been suspicious about the fact that my father treated his biological son like shit. But for Simona, it ruined her. She insisted on keeping his last name even though Dillon changed his back to Wilson, their biological father’s name. She also got it into her head that she and I were family—the only family that mattered. And in a way, I guess we were. She’d lost two fathers and I was, for all intents and purposes, an orphan. She clung on to me and I helped her as much as I could. She couldn’t understand how he could reject her. As soon as she turned eighteen, I noticed a change in our relationship, but I realize now that the signs were there all along. She became insanely jealous about any woman I was dating. She would swing from telling me all about her sexual relationships to pretending she was practically a virgin. It was bizarre, but I didn’t know how to deal with her properly. Whenever I tried to establish boundaries, she would go off the rails, go partying, and then call me to extract her from fucked up situations. She couldn’t handle any type of rejection and she knew I would never let her get hurt. She never called Dillon, though. He’s settled and happy. He’s engaged to a nurse and is renovating a house in Devon. I mean, you wouldn’t even know they were related, he’s so well-balanced now. And he won’t put up with her drama. He’s made a good life and he knows he can’t save her. But for some reason, I always thought I could. Fuck, my dad did a number on me, too, but I had no idea how to fix her either! I was supposed to meet up with her in London a few weeks ago and when I told her I couldn’t make it, she decided it must be because I was involved with someone, so she flew out here to surprise me. And scare you off. Which she almost did.”
“She did, Sebastian.” Eden realized she was interrupting him, but she didn’t care. This wasn’t as simple as she had hoped. “Can I talk now?”
Sebastian nodded.
“She’s not really your sister, you realize that, right?”
Sebastian looked up at her, with a look in his eyes that Eden could only describe as shame.
“I know that you think of her like that, but she clearly doesn’t see you as her brother anymore. And that’s really bad, Seb. How much longer are you going to let her do stuff like this? What if you hadn’t found me? How many women has she scared off? How old is she anyway?”
“She just turned twenty-one. She graduated university early and now she’s just freefalling in London. I have no idea what to do with her. She’s just eating through her inheritance and is out of control.”
Eden watched as Sebastian’s shoulders slumped over. His hands gripped his hair. In that moment, she realized that she hated Simona for making him like this.
“And what about the other women?” This was a subject that they had never broached. Sebastian knew about her past, but she was completely in the dark as to his. She knew he’d dated, of course, but she had no idea if any of them had ever really meant anything.
“What other women?”
“The other women in your life, in the past, when you’ve dated. Has she succeeded in scaring off many of them?”
Sebastian looked sheepish. “Well, to be honest, there really hasn’t been anyone that I didn’t want scared off.”
It took Eden a minute to realize what he was saying. “You mean you let her sc
are off the women you were with on purpose?”
“Don’t look at me like that, Eden. I’ve never had a relationship like this! I’ve dated women, of course, but never anyone that I wanted to be around for very long. That makes me sounds like an arse, I know, but I just never cared enough, certainly not enough to make Simona think I was choosing them over her. Whenever Simona tried to get her claws into them, it never really bothered me because I usually wanted rid of them anyway.”
“You do sound like an ass, Sebastian. You basically led her on! You let her think that it was the right thing to do!”
“No I didn’t! I’ve always made it very clear to Simona that I saw her as my little sister. I just never wanted to hurt her, but today…the way she was with you. The look on your face… She knew you were different. I wouldn’t tell her who I was seeing. I didn’t want her to even know your name in case she lashed out at you. And then you walked right into my office. I mean, she couldn’t have planned that any better.”
Eden didn’t know what to say. This was so much more than she expected. When he had said Simona was his sister, the pain and anguish she had felt all day disappeared and she felt safe and calm again, knowing Sebastian wasn’t married. But this was something else. It felt sordid and twisted. She understood that they weren’t actually sister and brother, but Simona’s behavior seemed too out of control for Eden to get a handle on.
As if Sebastian could read her thoughts, he moved across the distance between them and pushed her legs apart so he could kneel between them. He looked up at her, grasping her hips in his hands. “Don’t, Eden, don’t confuse her with us. This isn’t us. I’ve felt a responsibility toward Simona because of my father’s behavior, but today I saw how much damage that misplaced guilt could cause. I don’t want her to touch anything we have. I won’t let her ever again. I’m sorry, Eden. I’m so, so sorry. Please, tell me you’re still mine?”
It was the first time he had asked her. She reached her hand up and brushed his disheveled hair off his forehead. She wanted to desperately tell him how she felt, how she’d felt when she thought he was married, what it had done to her and how much it scared her. Instead, she gave him what he needed.
“Yes, Seb, I’m yours. Always.”
“Don’t ever run from me again.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, I’ll never run again.”
“Now kiss me.”
Eden leaned forward, never losing contact with his eyes, now dark with desire.
Chapter Twenty-One
Eden pulled the rental car into her parents’ driveway, stealing herself for what was to come. Finally, she had agreed to see her them. Her mother had threatened to turn up at her apartment and that was the last thing Eden wanted. It would be only the second time she’d seen them since she returned from Edinburgh and she knew her absence was bordering on rude. In fact, it was rude, but she knew that seeing her parents would only detract from the bubble she had created with Sebastian.
She had a great boyfriend, great best friend, great apartment, and a great job. She had everything she knew she wanted at this stage in her life and she didn’t want anything to detract from it. And for the past six weeks, the bubble had stayed intact, ignoring the Simona drama that she and Sebastian had managed to overcome. But now with her parents looming on the horizon, Eden felt that bubble was about to pop. With her mother threatening to turn up on her doorstep, Eden had decided she needed to take matters into her own hands. Her parents would have to understand once and for all that she was her own person, with her own dreams and desires, most of which were fulfilled by being with Sebastian.
With her newfound confidence, Eden had insisted that she drive up to Boston to visit them in their family home. This had been met with resistance from Sebastian, who insisted on taking his town car.
“They don’t even know about you! How would it look if I showed up in your town car? How could I explain that?” Eden realized that Sebastian was stunned to hear that she hadn’t told her parents about him. “It’s not what you think, Seb. I don’t tell my parents anything. I barely speak to them.”
Up until now, they had kept any conversation about family to a minimum. He didn’t ask how she could afford her apartment and she didn’t push on the whereabouts of his father. It was one of the few unspoken rules between them and here he was, suddenly challenging it with his look.
“Does your father know about me?”
“That’s different.”
“Why? Because I’m an open book with no secrets and I’m supposed to be happy with that? Well, I’m not, Seb.”
He turned his back to her and she knew her line of questioning had hit an abrupt dead end. Sebastian was not a man who would be pushed, she had learned. He had let her in about Simona and his mother, but there were still high walls around parts of his life and she had no idea how to break them down.
Eden approached him, her heart swelling at the thought of him thinking she was ashamed of him. She pressed her hands gently on his broad shoulders, hoping he would turn around. When he didn’t, she resorted to leaning her forehead on the back of his suit just to keep some contact between them.
“I don’t tell my parents anything about my private life anymore. Part of going to Edinburgh wasn’t just to finish school with a fresh slate, but to get away from them. My parents don’t know how to support me unless money is involved. They don’t know how to interact with me. I didn’t want them to know about us because I thought they would smear it somehow, make it all about your money, your business. And that’s nothing to do with us. The same way you didn’t want Simona to know about me. I didn’t want them to taint it. Can you believe me?”
It was the first time either of them had mentioned Simona since the day Eden had walked in on them in his office and she felt him tense when she said her name. Eden had never questioned Sebastian as to how he had resolved the Simona situation.
Sebastian finally turned and she pulled his hands up to kiss his fingertips.
“I know. I just hate the idea of you feeling we need to hide.”
“Seb, trust me, I’m doing all I can to stop myself from shouting from the rooftops that I’m yours, that you’re…mine.” She hesitated at the last part. While Sebastian frequently reminded her of what she meant to him, she had never yet tried to stake the same claim on him. There was something so fiercely guarded and independent about Sebastian, she didn’t dare.
“But still, take the town car, Eden. Don’t fight me on this.”
“No,” she said, stepping back. “No! Part of leaving Boston and coming to New York was about showing my parents I was fine, I was better—that I didn’t need hand-holding anymore. And if I show up in your town car, they’ll know that someone else is taking care of me, not that I’m taking care of myself.”
Sebastian’s face hardened again and Eden felt it was a losing battle.
“That’s exactly what I’m doing, making sure something of mine remains safe.”
“I’m not your doll, Sebastian. I’m not an investment you have to protect!” She turned away from him now, wishing she was at home and not in his office.
Tears started streaming down her face. The confusion that Sebastian instilled in her made her head spin. At times like this, she did just feel like an investment, a kept woman who Sebastian had on speed dial for whenever he needed a thrill. Now it was Sebastian’s turn to touch her back, to bring her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her.
“Don’t cry, Eden. I hate it when you cry, especially because of me. I can’t stand it. I don’t want to cause you any pain, ever, you understand?”
Eden nodded, comforted by his voice that was smooth and deep now.
“Take a rental, but promise me you’ll text as soon as you get there and as soon as you leave.”
She didn’t intend to stay the night and she knew Sebastian was worried about her getting tired. “Yes, of course.” She turned to him now, wanting the fight to stop, amaze
d that he had capitulated. She wanted him to kiss her, touch her, re-establish that connection between them that was so strong it left her breathless. She pressed herself against him, signaling to him how much she wanted him. She didn’t care that they were in his office. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d had sex there before.
“I’ll miss you, you know.” She was already breathless with anticipation. Sebastian instigated sex most of the time, but Eden was building her courage and learning how to get what she needed, when she needed it.
Sebastian ran his hands down her waist and onto her ass, grabbing her cheeks with both hands and pulling her toward him. “Maybe I need to give you a going-away present.”
****
Looking up at her family home, Eden knew that her explanation about her parents had left Sebastian unsatisfied. Despite the growing animosity she felt toward her parents, she didn’t want Sebastian to think badly of them. They had tried in their way to help her. It just hadn’t been the right way. She felt her phone vibrate in her coat pocket and she reached for it, knowing it would be a text from Sebastian. Are you there yet? Miss you xx.
She smiled to herself. Knowing he was missing her made her giggle in a ridiculously childish way. Literally just pulled in the driveway, I miss you too. Looking forward to tonight. Resisting thinking about it—you drive me to distraction.
Sebastian’s texts were always racier than hers, but she couldn’t bring herself to be as explicit as he was. She could only allude to it.
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