by D. D. Wyatt
I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts straight.
“Where are my clothes?” My voice hard and bitter. Looking around at his success had only ignited a deeper self loathing inside me.
“Right there. In that closet.” Jesse’s demeanor even more calm than necessary. I knew something was up.
Eying him I walked into the closet. It was bigger than most bedrooms I ever had. It was mostly empty, but what clothes hung there were most decidedly NOT mine. My wardrobe consisted of tight jeans, usually a black tank top or t-shirt and black leather jacket.
What I saw inside this closet was everything but jeans and black and leather. It was white and pink and lace and ruffles. If there was a perfect little girl’s closet somewhere in a fairy tale, this would be it. Only, the clothes were not little girl sized, they were MY size and I froze in place. Not understanding what was going on.
“Where are my clothes Jesse? Joke’s over. Come on.” I poked my head out to see he was up from the chair and standing only a couple steps outside the closet door. The mountain of his body blocking out much of the sunlight streaming through the window.
“This is it. For now. These are yours. If you don’t pick something out, I will.” He towered over me and my mind raced for a reply. My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes danced over the strange closet filled with adult sized baby clothes. Then, just when I thought I had seen it all, a tall, white tower of something on a shelf caught my eye.
No fucking way. Is that what I think it is??
“Baaa!! Really? Jesse, this is a joke right? Come on.” I reached out and gave him a little playful poke. My fingers met with rock hard muscle and nary even a crack of a smile. Only his eyes, completely and utterly focused on me. I shivered under his commanding stare, unwavering and quickly I took a step back. Jesse’s broad forehead beginning to draw together as he watched me draw up in frantic confusion.
The pressure inside my head was unbearable. I didn’t know what to do or say, the flicker inside me that found joy and comfort from the teddy bear and the soft pajamas was quickly stomped out by the jaded, angry part of me that didn’t believe in happiness. No matter how it was packaged.
I bulldozed past him and began to tear apart the room. Looking in every drawer, under the bed, everywhere for something. What was I looking for? My clothes? My old life? What? Where was it I thought I would go?
“FUCKKKK!!!!” I screamed until my voice cracked and I pulled at my hair, squeezing my eyes closed trying to see nothing.
“You promised Kat. You promised you would trust me and do it my way. That is what this means. Now, stop it, right now or you’re going to be punished.” Jesse’s voice raised so it boomed around my aching head.
Fuck that calm, military commander bullshit. You don’t care about me, you just want to wash away your own guilt.
“FUCK OFF JESSE!!!” I gave him my best crazy face and balled up my fists, hurdling toward the mountain of muscle and intensity with everything I could muster. As I pummeled his chest with my fists, he stood completely still for a few seconds, taking everything I had, then with cat like reflexes, grabbed both of my wrists in one giant vice like grip, spun me around and held my hands behind my back, bending me over slightly and sending lightning bolts of pain into my shoulders.
“LET GO!!!!” My voice was all I had under his might. The hold he had on me with one hand positioned me perfectly so that there was nothing I could do to fight back. If I tried to kick, I would fall down, my fists were immobilized by his grip and he pushed me over toward the bed.
“This is not you Kat. Try to remember who you are, stop reacting and start feeling. Now, stop it, right now.” His voice intoned from behind me, rumbling with restrained power.
In the midst of my anger, a fierce ember was lit in my belly. My eyes danced all over the thick, flexing muscle in Jesse’s arms as he held my hands behind my back. The subtle movements of his lips, his jaw, the blink of his dark eyes, the glint of his straight white teeth as he gave the smallest of grimaces holding the crazed badger that was fighting against the very person who was trying to save her.
“Fucking let me go you fucking asshole jarhead! What do you care anyway Jesse!! Stop trying to make yourself feel better! Kent’s DEAD! I’M NOT YOUR PROBLEM!! YOU AREN’T MY BROTHER!!”
I hurled my words like poison daggers because my voice was all I had. I knew I was hurting him and I didn’t care. I could never have him the way I wanted, so it was better if I just got out of here and never looked back. When it was just Kent, Jesse and I, (I think I was about 14 by then) we all made a pact. We lived together like brothers and sisters and we swore to always be family.
“I’m the only family you have little girl, so you better get a fucking grip.” The deep rumble in his chest telling me I was very close to a line I didn’t want to cross.
I was almost out of breath from the fight and the way he was holding me pinned, bent in half, pulling my hands up behind my back was exhausting. I could see him in the mirror, his eyes were on fire, the tendons in his neck pulling and standing out.
If I were another guy, he would have knocked me out and left me laying in my own drool. Why was he spending so much effort on me? I didn’t get it. Sure, we grew up together, but I had not done anything in the last few years to earn his protection or his loyalty.
“Kent never trusted you Jesse. Not after what you did…what we did. He told me you were dead to him after that.”
Deafening silence filled the room and my heart stopped beating for a moment. That was something I shouldn’t have said. Something we all promised we would put away and never talk about again.
When I was 16, Jesse was leaving for the Marines and secretly my heart was broken. My girlhood crush had become something so much bigger for me and watching him get ready to leave and not knowing if, or when, he would be back, had me once again feeling lost and abandoned.
The night before he left, instead of going out drinking with his friends and getting laid, he stayed home with us. Kent and I made dinner and we all clowned around like always. The dark cloud of his departure hanging heavy over us all.
Kent went off to bed around 1 a.m. and Jesse and I were finishing cleaning up the kitchen. I can still remember watching his hands in the soap suds, his fingers long, perfect, the veins standing up under the skin on the back of his hands as he washed the last of the dishes. My stomach was a knot, every once in a while our arms would brush against each other, and I felt like a billion microscopic fireworks exploded where ever we touched.
I don’t actually remember the moment when it turned from washing the dishes to something else, but it turned on a dime. I remember every fiber in my body spiraling around on it’s axis as Jesse leaned down, the tension between our bodies like a river of fire that we knew we shouldn’t cross, and the moment I felt his breath on my lips it was too late.
We locked together like two starving captives finally welcomed to the feast. His mouth unlocking something deep inside a young girl that was more than she could handle, but neither of us knew that at the time. Yes, he was too old for me and I was too young to be doing anything but kissing another boy my age. But, it was there and we took it, like a ripe forbidden fruit that lowered itself into our grasp and we just couldn’t help ourselves.
Time seemed to stop as his tongue opened my young lips, swirling around inside and turning my insides out. My body felt like it was a light switch, finally turned on in the empty darkness and every light suddenly focused on him and the fire that brewed deep in my belly.
Within minutes, we were on the couch, the passion of our kisses everything I could have imagined, Jesse’s long hard body pressed fully onto mine, feeling the full weight of him bearing down on me and I reveled in his power.
The fire in our kisses turned and Jesse began to grind his hips between my legs, sparks flew in my virgin sex as we both knew we were dancing to a song so forbidden it had no chance of anything but disaster.
Jesse pulled back from our kiss, hi
s dark intense eyes meeting mine as I arched my hips up to meet his, the rock hard shaft of his cock pressing so hard against the fabric of his jeans and into me, I felt the pain all the way up into my chest.
“Kat…God we can’t.” His eyes were full of pain.
The throbbing between my legs was like nothing the young Katrina had ever felt before, and all I knew, is I didn’t want it to stop. Ever.
I pulled Jesse’s face back to mine in a binding kiss, and pushed my open legs upward, drawing his manhood to press back and forth as our bodies did what nature intended. He was vastly more experienced than me, and if he had wanted, could have torn my clothes off in an instant and taken anything and everything he wanted. But, he didn’t, I listened as he groaned into my mouth, the desire so deep for a moment he frightened me.
I was just a young girl, still growing into myself, nothing special and here I was, laying with the man of my girlhood dreams and the thrust of his hardened manhood even through the fabric of our clothes was bringing me to a tension that felt like magic.
I groaned into his kiss as the sparks of pleasure created a delirious vortex inside me. My hips rose to ride him with each pulse of his hips and my ravenous girlhood lust broke open and my body experienced something unlike any feeling I had ever had or thought could be possible.
Jesse knew and he broke our kiss, his eyes locked on my face as I thrashed and rode out the waves of whatever wonder this was that happened to my body at the hands of my ‘brother’. I couldn’t help the noises that came from my mouth as I clutched onto Jesse’s hard back, pulling him down harder onto my body.
“God, Kat…” The last thing I heard before the explosion of my life was Jesse’s voice, full of desire, his eyes looking into my face as I experienced my very first orgasm with his hips between my legs.
“WHAT THE FUCK!! GET THE FUCK OFF HER!!!” Kent’s screaming voice rocked my world. That moment lived in our memory’s as a frozen sculpture of our betrayal.
The rest was history, dark, brutal history as Kent must have heard my moans and discovered us. Everyone of us had a broken heart that day, and the next, and for a long time after that. Eventually, Kent and Jesse made peace and I was the forbidden fruit that Jesse would never come close to again.
We never talked about what happened, it came so close to tearing us all apart, it was just too painful and we let it slip into the oblivion like ghosts of our past. I was just a girl, so it couldn’t have been real anyway, right? It was really just a kiss and some dry humping…right?
So, for me to throw it into Jesse’s face now was about the lowest I could go and as soon as I said it, I knew it was a mistake.
The flames in his eyes quickly turned into a focused power that spun me around and flipped me once again over his lap face down and ass up. He tore off the bottoms of my pajamas as I kicked and fought. I was no match for the brute force he possessed and I immediately felt the guilt wash over me for the words.
“I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT JESSE!! PLEASE!! DON’T!!” The force of his grip on the back of my neck reminded me that he was a trained killer and with just a flick of his wrist, could have snapped my neck.
“Stop it Kat. Stop trying to make me hate you. It won’t work.” He spoke deliberately and clearly as he worked my ruffled under pants down and tore them off my ankles, leaving me bare bottomed once again over his knee.
This time, I knew what was coming and somewhere deep down, I knew I deserved it. I think I almost welcomed it and when the first sickening SMACK hit me, my entire body was enveloped in not only the pain of the blow, but in a explosion of heat over my skin that screamed at me to LET GO, JUST LET IT GO.
Jesse’s hand came down harder than the first time, the impact driving the air from my lungs as my hands gripped onto his legs to keep from falling. The red searing whacks ringing in my ears and sending bolts of ravenous pain down the backs of my legs.
I could hear my own voice, screaming and crying. But, I was somewhat detached this time, feeling the pain and witnessing the moment, but with the eyes of a different girl that a few days ago.
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK
Each spank hurt more than the last, and at the same time, brought me more and more peace. I knew my ass had to be screaming red and show swollen hand prints from the force of Jesse’s power, but somewhere in the brutal discipline, I began to welcome the next blow as he took complete dominion over me.
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK
I inhaled deeply and the tears came like the spring flood out of a long frozen mountain peak, rushing to find the life giving river below.
Finally, I bellowed and raised my hips up to meet his hand, taking everything he could give me and demanding even more.
And that is when it stopped. My heart was beating like a gazelle being chased by the lion, but the lion had suddenly stopped the chase and the next move was mine.
Jesse’s iron grip on the back of my neck twitched and loosened ever so slightly and I took it as a sign it was over, at least for now. Maybe the pain of the spanking was over, but something else had just begun.
“Kat…” Jesse’s deep voice fell down to my ears as my whimpering sobs slowed and I clung to his legs like a frightened child to her protective father. “I never meant to hurt you. Back then. You were just a kid, it was my fault. I should have never let it happen.” The fierce Marine’s voice was smooth, but full of pain and remorse.
If he only knew how much that moment had stayed with me. How much I clung to the feelings he had ignited in me that night. Sure, I had a couple boyfriends here and there since, but they were cheap impostors compared to the feelings I had for Jesse then, and almost every night since.
Our bodies vibrated with tension as I lay over his knees, desperately trying to figure out who I was and what to do next. Maybe it was a minute, maybe only a few seconds, I am not sure, but Jesse took over just as he always had.
The warmth of his hand pressed down on the throbbing pain in my ass, he just held it there for a long moment, then the hand that encircled my neck loosened and grazed down my back, taking it’s place on the other blazing hot cheek of my upturned ass.
“You’re okay Katrina. Remember, I promised to take care of you and you promised to trust me.”
It wasn’t a question, there was nothing to say as my belly clenched and the power of my own desire began to trickle down the insides of my legs. As if by my own sheer force of will, I felt one of his hands lift slightly, following the curve of my bottom down to the back of my thigh, igniting a trail of sensual agony as it went.
He paused, almost as if to give me a moment to be sure I wanted what we both knew would come next. I answered his hand with the slightest of shifts in my hips, opening myself almost imperceptibly, but he felt it and I knew.
I inhaled deeply, holding onto that breath, waiting like it was an eternity, and finally the tips of his fingers moved, spinning lower, trailing the crease where my legs pressed together, then followed the line of my flesh upward, the gentle touch of his fingers driving me to the brink of madness as they paused just an inch from the pulsing of my outer labia. Every cell in my body screaming for his touch, to open the floodgates and let every ounce of my desire out onto his fingers.
“God, please, Jesse…” I couldn’t help it, I whispered like I was begging for my very life.
It worked and he pushed his fingers upward, spreading my ready, moist lips apart, sliding quickly and easily into my tender folds, spinning my mind into a vortex of carnal release. I gripped harder onto his legs below, desperately trying to raise my hips and open myself for his exploring fingers.
“Fuck, god damn it Kat…” He growled from above, sending another shiver of lust deep into my core. The hard, thick, dripping longing in his voice making me want to do anything and everything I could to please him. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Moaning, he stroked his fingers deeper into my moisture, firmly rubbing back and forth, spreading the slick juice of my desire over every
inch of my inner folds. I listened as Jesse breathed deeply, his other hand still firmly pressed on top of my reddened bottom.
His fingers paused and I groaned, hoping he would not come to his senses and figure out what a huge mistake he was making. But, that wasn’t it at all.
The monster of a man moved his hands to grab me by the waist, and spin me around like a doll, lowering me onto the bed. Looking up at Jesse’s face, his dark hair framing the flames in his eyes, my mind could barely focus. Was he going to hurt me? Walk out of the room? What was happening now??
“Jess?” It seemed like an eternity before his eyes flickered and he looked down into my face.
“Katrina.” He lowered his hands, and in one motion, ripped open the pajama top, sending buttons flying, one hitting the ceiling and coming back down to land on my stomach. We both smiled, and the giant of a man crawled on top of me, pulling the fabric off my shoulders, leaving me completely naked below him.
The muscles in his arms bulged as he held his weight over me, his dark eyes pinning me under him as my heart beat so loudly in my ears I was sure he could hear it too.
“I’ve waited six years to finish this, so I hope you’re ready little girl.” The rumble of his voice spun my head and knotted my belly as he took my mouth into his. He kissed me with the passion of a man long held against his will and finally released. Running a gauntlet in order to arrive at the pinnacle of his desire.
Me? Was this really happening? He’s been waiting for me?
His tongue dove deep into my mouth and my hands wound around his neck, pulling him down. I wanted to feel his weight, to have him over me so I couldn’t breathe from the force of his massive body. But, he pulled back, eyes narrow and veins bulging in his neck, he rose up, kneeling on the bed and tore off his t-shirt as my eyes danced on the carved planes and angles of his broad chest, defined abs and smooth skin.
My skin ignited as his huge hands pressed onto my cheeks, his dark eyes unwavering on my face. Then, he moved them lower, over my neck, caressing the lush round flesh of my breasts, squeezing and devouring me with is eyes. But, he didn’t pause there long, his hand were on my hips and every cell in my lower body was on fire as he moved his fingers over the skin of my thighs and spread my legs.
