The shit hit the fan at 9:00 a.m. when the boys drove in together in one car. Right behind them came the new young State Trooper, Daniels. His passenger was Jade. Before she got out of the car, Daniels gave her a hot goodbye kiss.
Phil and Mark were staring hard at the Trooper. It seems Troopers are trained to ignore dirty looks. With a broad smile, Daniels backed the car around and leaned out of the window.
"Hi there Mr. Dewey. That appears to be some project you have going here. Jade tells me you plan to have this completed in three more days. That's a bunch of work to get done."
"Tell me about it! But it's a surprise for the Mrs. Keep this one confidential, please. I don't want the bush telegraph giving her the news first."
"You got it. What time do you think you might quit today? I'll be back to pick Jade up whenever you say."
"Figure on 6:00, give or take thirty minutes." I turned to my help. "Okay! Let's get on with this. We don't have time to fiddle around here."
Sheathing the roof requires a real balancing act for the first sheet of wood to go down. I didn't design this to match up with the roof of the main house. It comes right up under the main roof overhang and has a good slope to it.
I'm using Oriented Strand Board for the sheathing. It's kind of like plywood only made with lots of little flakes of wood all glued together under pressure. The things are four foot by eight foot and damn heavy.
The first sheet needs to get up there without maiming the installer. There's no way to get any help to haul the first one up unless you have two ladders and trust the other guy not to let go of their end.
I thought Jade could get the job done without losing her end and taking me off the ladder, but this was one time I planned to err on the side of caution. My intention was to carry the damn thing up there by myself.
With two big nails driven part the way into the fascia board, all I had to do was get the thing up there, flop it down and spin it around. The nails would hold the sheet in place. Uh huh, a piece of cake. Being halfway intelligent, I knew who to trust to keep the ladder from sliding out from under me, Jade.
Repositioning the ladder, so it was not quite at the steep angle it was for nailing down the rafters, I told her to hold the ladder and not to move away until I had the sheet up there and nailed down.
Lifting the sheet of OSB at one end, I positioned myself at about mid-point and got it up over my head. Since I possess a thick skull and a thick head of hair to cushion it, I let the board sit on my head as I walked over and started up the ladder.
About halfway up the ladder, the yelling started. It sounded like the two yahoos were going at it over something. Lord deliver me from teenage boys with a crush on the same girl.
"Jade, I don't care if those two jerks are going after each other with hammers, you keep the damn ladder steady," I told her.
"Yes sir, Mr. Dewey."
The only reason she was calling me "Mr. Dewey" was 'cause something was going on I needed to handle. Until the damn sheet of engineered wood got in position on the rafters, I couldn't deal with jack shit. I don't think she realized; I understood what she wasn't saying.
At that stage of things, I couldn't even whistle. But I could holler, so I spat out a bunch of curse words. I was calling Mark and Phil every name I could think of and I've got a few. It didn't even occur to me to watch my language on account of Jade. I knew what came out of her dad's mouth.
As fast as possible, I got the free end of the panel on the rafters. Pissed off, I got a little extra burst of strength from the anger that was building and threw the thing up there. After I had it spun around, so the nails were keeping it in place, I got about half way down the ladder and jumped the rest of the way to the ground.
Jade let go of the ladder, and I got my first look at the dumb shits going at it in the barn. I didn't care if they wanted to wipe the floor with each other; they weren't doing it in my barn. And for God's sake, not next to the stack of corkboard flooring right behind them. Or the box containing the dryer right behind that.
If they damaged the flooring or Tina's dryer, I would kill the both of them. I took off at a dead run and grabbed Phil just as Mark shoved him into the stack of flooring. The boxes were teetering, almost ready to take a dive.
There was no way I could afford to replace any damaged tiles. I pushed Phil at Mark and turned to grab the boxes that were swaying. There was a noise behind me that sounded as if someone got a solid knock. I couldn't turn and look 'cause I was stabilizing the stack.
"Jeeze, Jade. What the hell did you do that for?" Mark was whining behind me.
The stack stopped threatening to smash into the dryer, and I had time to turn and find out what Jade did.
I laughed when I turned around. Mark was holding his nose, and it was leaking blood. I supposed I needed to stop work and fix the little shit, but better Jade punched the kid out than me. Assault charges just didn't appeal. I doubted Mark would tell everyone Jade gave him a bloody nose.
"Jade, you want to take Mark into the house and see about taking care of that?" I asked.
"No, sir. I don't care if the little jerk seeps forever. You want to fix the idiot, go right ahead. Junior here," Jade grabbed Phil by the shirt front and got nose to nose with him. "Will help me get the OSB up there and nailed down while you deal with the other numb nuts."
"Well, alrighty then. You two can handle that, and I'll get this one's nose to quit leaking all over the place."
The little shit would not bleed all over Tina's clean kitchen. I grabbed a handful of shop towels off the roll and jammed them into the kid's face.
"Hold that in place."
"But I can't see where I'm going."
"Don't sweat it Mark. I'll lead you into the house. But you are not spraying blood all over my wife's kitchen. So keep those nice and tight to that nose of yours until I tell you different. Got it?"
As I got the kid into the house, I decided it was time for a little education. Somehow the boy missed the "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," lecture. I didn't know what his family life was like, but he would get a talking to regarding mine.
After washing the blood off and acquainting him with the myriad of uses for hydrogen peroxide, I wobbled his nose from side to side. Jade hadn't hit him hard enough to break it. He screamed like a stuck pig. Low pain threshold, I guess.
"Mark shut the fuck up. Your damn nose isn't broken. I'm gonna pack it with some cotton balls. Leave the things in overnight and when you get ready to remove them flood your nostrils with warm water instead of yanking them out."
"But how do I do that?"
"Kid, I do not believe you. Turn your head to one side and pour it in. Use a turkey baster for all I care. It is not my problem. If you two jerks hadn't been playing push and shove games, Jade wouldn't have smacked your ass."
When I inserted the first cotton ball, he whined again.
"You are so lucky that little shoving match didn't mess up my lady's dryer, or her new flooring. If I lose it all over your ass and punch you; I'm gonna do more than break your nose, you'll need a damn dentist."
That shut the kid up. Mark's eyes grew wide. "Phil started it."
"As if I give a flying fuck. You were fighting in my barn and damn near ruined my wife's surprise. I've been planning this for two damn years. You fuck it up, and I'll kick your ass from here to Glennallen. I hired you two dipshits to work, not fight over Jade."
I inserted another cotton ball in his other nostril and wasn’t too gentle about it. "Not that either of you can get to first base with the girl. Didn't you see that trooper drop her off? What part of, you are too immature and don't have any money, don't you get here?"
That got his attention, and the kid stopped sniveling.
"I'm real sorry, Mr. Dewey. Things just kinda got out of hand. Phil said some stuff and..."
"You had best toughen up kid. People are gonna be saying things to you all your life. You need to learn to pick your battles. Most employers
frown on employees getting physical. If you don't figure out how to control yourself, you will be doing a lot of hopping from job to job."
With a nod of his head, Mark looked down into the sink. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't think."
"Whoopee shit! You don't say. You don't have too many years left to play the "kid card." Real soon people are gonna expect you to act like what you're looking like, a young man. If you plan to stay in this state, you need to get it together. Alaska is the largest small town you're ever gonna find. If you burn too many people, you'll get a bad rep, and nobody is gonna give you the time of day. Do you get what I'm saying to you?"
Mark nodded as he continued to stare at me. I got a grocery bag out from under the sink and tossed it to him. "Get that shirt into the bag. I’ll loan you a T-shirt. Enough bullshit here. Let's get out there and get that roof covered. Your little argument has cost way more time than it should have."
Back outside, Jade had followed through as I figured she would. The sheathing was down, and she was putting the last couple of nails in. I wasn't able to afford metal roofing. It would be the rolled out and tarred down stuff, but I planned to leave that for later.
For now, getting a tarp up was good enough. The interior was the biggest concern I had. I wanted it done.
I don't know what Jade said to Phil, but she said something. The boy was quiet and refused to look right at me. Okay by me. It was time to drag the insulation inside and get it up.
It was easy to see why neither of these young kids appealed to the girl. Jade might be a chronological teenager, but in experience and maturity, she was a woman.
I understood why Trooper Daniels caught her eye. He was in his late twenty's or early thirty's, but the man had several things going for him as far as Jade could see. I only hoped he was a good guy, 'cause Jade sure deserved one.
This girl had been fresh out of the bun warmer the first time I saw her, all wrinkled and squalling. I watched her grow into the woman she was, and I would like to see her find someone who would appreciate her.
My old lady would have my hide if she caught me meddling, but I intended to have a little talk with Trooper Daniels. He needed to know how well thought of the girl was in our small community. Better me than Arne. Jade's Dad might get a little too forceful. I knew enough not to antagonize the cops, Arne, not so much.
Arne started his family sooner than I did. He and Megan got married right after getting out of high school. I didn't find Tina until I was twenty-nine. We waited a few years before trying to have kids. And that was my choice. I wanted time with the woman, time to have a little fun before becoming parents. It all worked out. I would have lost my temper a lot more with the rug rats if they had come along earlier.
We sure aren't rich by any measure you want to use. Comfortable is what we are, and there's a lot to be said for comfort.
I love coming into a house filled with warmth and laughter after busting butt in the cold. Then there are the long summer evenings when the kids are sacked out, and Tina and I are alone. There's a little spot behind the barn I keep clear of farm equipment. Two chairs and an old table give us a place to sit in the twilight, hold hands and watch the night overtake the day.
Our place is far enough up the ridge to have a view out over the river and the wild country surrounding it. Being a smart man, I made changes to my old rocker and took the arms off it long ago. If a real beautiful woman wants to curl up on my lap and watch the stars come out, I’ve got the room.
God's truth, cuddling under the stars with a hot momma beats hanging out in a bar six ways from Sunday. The cherry on top of the sundae is dragging her off to bed afterward.
Tina says I'm an incurable romantic. But I never hear her complaining about it. She's okay with my being incurable. I would like to see my kids find what their momma and I have. Loving and being loved in return is a gift.
Before being able to get the insulation into the bathroom, we needed a way to get inside the room. All the walls were up and the roof on, now we needed a doorway.
The only thing holding the window in was two nails. It was chainsaw time. I had Phil haul in the shop vac. With only two sets of ear protectors, both boys waited outside. Jade handled the shop vac while I took care of the chainsaw carpentry.
With all the doors and windows open, it was time. After lifting the window out, it needed to stay intact as it was going back into the new outside wall. I started the chainsaw in the kitchen and went after the logs inside.
To get a doorway into the bathroom, I had to cut it out and get the braces put in as quick as I could. This was the integrity of the house I was messing with. Using the tip of the chainsaw to stab cut a hole, I started from the top and cut down through the logs as close to the floor as I dared on one side.
When I started on the opposite side, as I cut through each log, they caught on the chain and slammed outward toward me. A couple of the dang things connected with me and I knew bruises would be the result. There was no hope for it.
The last log had two thin sections of wood holding in on either side. Straddling the log and using the tip to cut it free was the tricky part. I had to be real careful, and I hoped like hell there were no nails for the saw to find. Cutting into the floor inside the house would not be good either.
I don't care how strong you are; that saw is stronger. Many a big man has found himself in the hospital compliments of a chainsaw. I have a very healthy respect for the things. I like having all my parts attached.
Going at this job slow and careful was the only way. I sure breathed a big sigh of relief when the log bucked enough to let me know it was free, and I could shut off the saw. That almost called for a beer.
But not yet. There were several hours work to get done yet. Getting insulation into the walls was happening before the crew went home.
Jade sucked up all the wood chips from the immediate area and like the sweetheart she is, the girl got all the little ones that had blown around the kitchen and living room. While she cleaned up inside, I took the saw out and got the boys to haul insulation into the house.
The braces and molding waited in the barn. I cut them before Tina and the kids left. I knew the thickness of the walls, and since this was such a damn time sensitive project, I did what I could beforehand.
But I did cut the trim molding for both sides of the doorway longer than necessary. All I had to do was remove the excess and nail the stuff up. Total time to get this project done was a little over an hour.
The kids were doing the insulating. Foil backed insulation was going in the wall. It was a lot easier to work with than the loose batts. But the ceiling would be the real bitch. I figured that was my job.
Getting on with it, I let Mark help Jade with the insulation. Phil got a quick lesson in how to cut to measure. After he screwed up with the first brace and got bitched out, he did fine.
By quarter after five, we were on track. All I had to finish was the ceiling insulation and after that install the bladder in the attic. Feeling the bruises on my legs from the logs, I needed that beer. I called a halt and broke out the beer and pop.
Since the boys were driving, no beer for them. Jade and I indulged and sat on the porch, swilling suds. I told Mark and Phil to go on home. Yeah, I violated my rule about being alone with a sweet young thing, but I wanted to talk with Jade.
The whole thing weighed on me all afternoon. I just couldn't help myself. "Jade, what do you see in Trooper Daniels? I've known you since you were born, and I can't help wondering if you've thought this through."
Before she replied the girl took a sip of beer. It looked like she would give me a real answer instead of telling me to mind my own business.
"I'm not sure right now. We're getting to know each other. I mean, Zach has a good future ahead of him, and you know how they move troopers around all the time, so he'll get to see lots of places."
"I guess the word "escape" sort of figures in here."
She was real quiet for a min
ute. Jade stared at the beer bottle for a while before she spoke. The whole time she didn't look at me.
"I suppose that's as good a word as any to describe it. I've been stuck here all my life, and I sure wouldn't mind seeing other places, even if it's only in Alaska."
Well, hell. I would put in my two cents. Maybe hearing it from another adult, other than her parents would help.
"Hey kiddo, there is an escape, and then there is an escape. If you want to get away from something the vehicle you choose will determine how good the getaway is."
She turned those blue eyes my way, and I could see she would listen. I had her attention. "You can try to get away in an old truck like the one your dad uses to haul water, you won't go far, and the ride is likely to be rough. On the other hand, escape in a Vette is one whole lot more comfortable and a hell of a lot more fun. Taking off with someone you don't love because it's expedient, is like trying to escape in the old truck. Taking off with someone who makes your heart thump and loves you for who you are, is like racing away in the Vette."
The girl nodded. "That's why you're doing this for Aunt Tina, 'cause you love her a whole bunch."
"Yes. Nothing I have, not this place or anything on this property is worth a damn without my wife. The fact that Tina stays out here, in the middle of bum-fuck Alaska with me, entitles her to anything and everything I can give her. But, the thing that matters the most to her is that I love her. Tina comes first, last and is always at the top of any list I might have."
I looked away from the young girl sitting there with her life ahead of her and hoped things worked out for Jade. "Don't get into that escape vehicle unless you know the guy driving will do anything and everything it takes to make a go of it with you. I'm not saying things will always go easy. Life has a way of smacking you upside the head just for fun. But if you two love each other, then it's bearable 'cause there's two of you to carry the load."
I saw the dust cloud fly up from someone entering the driveway. Jade's ride was here. "Get that beer gone girlie, I think Daniels just made it."
She upended the bottle and gulped the beer down. Jade turned to look at me. "Mom loves Dad. You and Aunt Tina love each other and thinking about it; I love Vette's. I'm gonna give escape vehicles a lot of thought. Thanks, Uncle Jim. Maybe I need to slow down a little and find out what sort of vehicle I'm looking for."
"Good thinking kiddo. Now get your stuff and get on out there. Can't keep Alaska's finest waiting."
I had three more hours, and I could talk to Tina. It was getting harder by the day. I had enough time to get the insulation in the ceiling, the OSB up there to hold the bladder and then I could take it easy for the rest of the evening.
I needed to stop at least half an hour before calling her. Tina knew me too well. I didn't need to sound like I was sick or exhausted. I did not want her racing back here to take care of me.
"Hey there Jimmy. I sure miss you, honey. Being away from you is getting old fast."
That set me to chuckling. "Getting tired of the whole mess are you?"
"I miss my house and my bed."
"That makes two of us, baby doll. I miss my bed warmer. But, we promised the kids. Besides, it's only a couple more days. Real soon, you'll be back in your place with a ton of stuff to see to."
She harrumphed on the other end of the conversation. "Well, I'm ready to be home now. This is getting to be a real pain."
"Easy does it, darling. Real soon, you'll be back in the hovel, and I can guarantee you, I'm waiting here ready to show you how much I miss you."
Lowering my voice to a soft growl, I decided to tease her a little. "Woman, my tongue is so ready to help you warm up."
That little giggle on the end of the line told me Tina liked what she was hearing. "Don't come back too early and make sure to wear the rug rats out, ‘cause when you hit the door, I'm gonna toss you into bed. I might keep you there for a week or two. The kids can get themselves to school on their own. I'll tell them Mom is sick."
"Swear to God, Jim, I'm so ready to come home."
"I'm so ready to have you here." It was a little white lie in one way, but not where it counts. Cause I was ready. I could almost taste her mouth. "But..."
"James, if you mention the promise we made to the kids one more time, I'm liable to scream. I know we need to keep our word. But I miss you so bad."
"Take it easy, sweet cheeks. A little more and you can point the car home. Relax, baby doll. Easy does it here."
She heaved out a sigh, and I knew I had her stalled off for a while longer. "Shit! I hate being away from home."
"And home hates having the lady of the house gone. Now, you need to rest, so those kids don't wear you out tomorrow. You getting enough sleep?"
"Yeah. Jimmy, I will be so glad to see the turnoff to our driveway."
"I sure love you, honey. Now, let's call it a night. Get some rest. I'll call you tomorrow."
We got off the phone, and I went back into the bathroom to finish rolling out the bladder tank. Tomorrow, I needed to install the fitting on the outside of the house so I could pump the water inside from the truck. With any luck, this was going to blow Tina’s mind.
Homesteader Blues Page 4
