by Haley Weir
“We’re so happy to have this little family,” says Avery. “And Jenna, we’re so glad you decided to come visit us.”
“Thanks for having me,” Jenna replies. She squeezes Xander’s thigh under the table. She gets nothing back in return.
“While this dinner is a nice way for us to get together, I have to admit there are ulterior motives,” Blake admits. “We need to strategize.”
“Okay, so what’s the strategy?” Douglas asks.
“I don’t have one yet,” says Blake. “I was hoping this could be a group think.”
“We need to split up,” Xander says suddenly. “We need to thin out. We’re too concentrated. If they get here, they’ve got us all. The Headquarters isn’t far, so that’ll be next. I think it’s best if we break apart. We’ll have more ears and eyes across the region and be able to keep each other alert.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” says Ethan after thinking for a moment. “Where will we go?”
“Well, you and I can go to Manhattan and stay at my place,” muses Mikayla to Ethan.
“That’s a good idea. The city is a good hideout,” agrees Blake.
“I’ll talk to Chris about Douglas and I staying with his family,” says Ellen. “They only live about a half hour north. We’ll be far but not too far. What do you think, Doug?”
“I think that will work,” answers Douglas as he chews a mouthful of food.
“Great,” confirms Blake. “Well, I’m going to stay here with Avery. We already talked about it and we don’t want to leave the place unattended.”
“Fair enough,” says Xander.
“You know where you should probably go, right Xander?” asks Blake.
“Yeah,” says Xander halfheartedly. “Bolt Castle.”
The room is silent. Everyone is aware of the pain that Xander experienced within those walls.
“It’s much safer now,” offers Ethan. He can feel Xander’s anxiety.
“You’re right,” agrees Xander. “I’m fine. I’ll do what I have to do. I’ll go.”
“We’ll go,” responds Jenna. Whether he wants her that or not is not a concern for Jenna at this time. What she sees is a man she cares about in pain, and she wants to be there for him in any way that she can.
“You don’t have to do that,” Xander says quietly to her.
“I don’t have to do anything,” snaps Jenna. Then her tone gets softer. “I’m well aware. I want to.”
“Fine,” relents Xander. As he comes to terms with the idea, he feels a bit of relief. It will be nice not to have to be at the castle alone, at least.
“Great,” says Jenna. “So when do we go?” she asks the group.
“As soon as possible,” replies Blake.
“Well, I’ll be ready to go in the morning,” Jenna reasons.
“No. Sooner. That’s the other thing. I don’t want to cause panic, but they’re getting closer. There’s five of them. Two have been in the game for quite some time. The men from the book.”
Jenna shudders. Being hunted by humans was not on her agenda when she made the trip to Blue Ridge. Then again, neither was making love to the handsome group leader.
“Chris contacted us. He left this morning to drive down and speak to some of our guys in person. They are the ones who have been giving us the information from their base,” Blake explains. “It’s not safe for us to be here much longer. Consider this The Last Supper.”
Mikayla finishes her glass of wine in one gulp, and immediately pours herself another. “Shit,” she spits.
“We’re going to be fine, babe,” assures Ethan, putting a hand on Mikayla’s shoulder.
“I’m not scared,” says Mikayla. “I just really don’t want to go back to Manhattan.”
“You’re not scared because they’re not coming for you!” Ellen bursts out. “What if they hurt one of you guys? How is everyone not as terrified as me?”
“Hey, hey. We’re going to be okay. We’re survivors. It’s in our DNA. We’ve all been through worse and we’re going to walk away from this just fine,” Douglas says to his frazzled girlfriend.
“I really hope so,” mumbles Ellen. She seems like she’s on the verge of tears.
“It’s going to be fine,” Avery repeats. “Do you want more wine?”
“We all need to have clear heads to get ourselves organized and out tonight,” notes Blake.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere and Douglas has Ellen taken care of, so we’ll finish the wine. Mikayla, do you want some? Jenna?”
Mikayla nods enthusiastically and they both fill their glasses. Mikayla gestures to Jenna, silently inquiring once more. Jenna politely declines, deciding she’s not as comfortable as the others. It seems they’ve forgotten that it’s no longer just the men in danger. She’s a shifter, too, whether they believe it or not.
Chapter 16
“Are you all packed up?” Xander asks Jenna as she throws her belongings into her duffel bag and backpack. It’s all she traveled with in the first place. Although it feels like a lifetime, it wasn’t very long ago when she was packing to take the bus from Pennsylvania to Blue Ridge. So much has happened since the day she’s come to meet Chris. She can’t imagine returning to Pennsylvania, not when there’s a mystical, dangerous, and quite sexy world of shifters she can be a part of here.
“I’m ready when you are, captain,” says Jenna, giving him a playful salute. He doesn’t smile back. He’s too wrapped up in his own thoughts, he can’t engage with Jenna in the way she would like. .
“Great,” he says. “I’m ready, too. We’re driving all night, just so you know. You’ve got your headphones?”
“You’d really sit there by yourself and talk to no one rather than deal with me, huh?” She didn’t mean to sound so self-deprecating, but she can’t deny how terrible he’s making her feel. The last thing she wants to do is be a stressor for Xander, but he’s making her feel like a nuisance.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just a long ride and I want you to be comfortable. Not bored or anything.”
“Do you know how many questions I could have you answer in that time? Just me, you, and the open road?”
“Well, consider me your driver. Not your encyclopedia.”
Jenna feels dejected. Her gut instinct is to sulk, but she has to handle this responsibly. She doesn’t want Xander to see her as some child. Maybe it’s for the best if she pulls back a little bit. Clearly, her flirtations are not charming him. Their lovemaking on the couch feels like a distant and cloudy dream now. Where was the man who was captivated by her body and addicted to her touch? She knows he’s in there, somewhere, but maybe she needs to let him come out to play on his own.
“It’s 8:30,” notes Xander. “We better get on the road.”
Jenna’s heart stops beating for a moment. She didn’t realize what time it is. Being on the road during a shift could be catastrophic.
“I can’t come,” decides Jenna.
“What do you mean you can’t come?”
“I mean that I can’t come. Or at least, not now. If we leave in the morning, I’ll be okay. I can’t be on the road when…” she can’t even finish her thought.
“When you shift?”
“When I shift. Staying at The Headquarters has been great. I can shift at night without shackles, free to explore the land. I love it so much. I love it in Blue Ridge. But I can’t shift in a car. I can’t shift in front of anyone. I can’t...and I won’t,” says Jenna nearing hysterics. She wants so badly to keep her cool in front of Xander but she’s shaken to her core even thinking about it.
“Hey, hey,” says Xander in a soothing voice. “We can figure out a way to make this work. Do you want to stay here with Avery and Blake?” As he asks the question, his heart sinks. He’ll regret proposing the idea if she agrees. As much as has wants to resist, he knows he needs her on this trip. Bolt Castle is not a place he feels ready to handle alone. Plus, even though he tries to convince himself otherwise, he wants to be around her. It
may not be the most responsible to develop feelings for this woman, who was so recently a stranger to him. But he can’t control his heart. If he were stronger, he’d do a better job of pushing her away. “No. I really don’t want to stay. If you think I should though-” she begins.
“No. Come with me. What if we stop at a motel on the way? We’ll each get a room. It will be a good idea to rest. A motel might honestly be safer than anywhere else right now.”
Jenna considers the idea. Honestly, she would rather share a motel room with him and not have to worry about her nightly affliction. But that’s just a fantasy, and she needs to figure out her reality.
“That seems like a good idea. If you’re sure it’s safe,” says Jenna.
“It’s safe. You’re safe with me. Take whatever time you need. We don’t have the right equipment to tie you up. We may need to stop.”
“No,” asserts Jenna. “I can’t get tied up. I won’t. It’s been so liberating these past few weeks.”
“Okay, so what do you want to do? Have free range of the motel?”
“It would be in the middle of nowhere, I assume? Off the highway?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’ll just take to the woods. We’re upstate. If there’s one thing I know, there are plenty of trees.”
“Okay,” agrees Xander. “I’m just a little nervous having you out in the middle of nowhere when we need to have our guard up the most.”
“I thought I was safe with you?”
“You are. Fine. Let’s do that plan. We better leave now so we have time to get you situated.”
“Let’s go,” says Jenna. They head downstairs where the others are gathered, bags packed.
“So you guys are good to go, then?” Blake asks.
“Yes,” confirms Xander, giving Blake a pat on the shoulder. “You sure you’ve got everything here handled?”
“Yes. You worry about me too much.”
“You’re like a brother to me, Blake,” says Xander. “Just be safe. Don’t trust anyone.”
“We’re going to be fine,” says Avery, putting a hand on Blake’s chest as if to say “I’ve got this.”
“Mikayla? Everything settled in Manhattan for you and Ethan?”
“Yes, sir,” Mikayla faux-saluates. “I’ve never been more glad to have that apartment. Despite how much I’d rather stay here…”
“We’d all rather stay here,” says Ellen. “I’d rather stay here.”
“Please. You’re not the one visiting your girlfriend’s best friend’s family. Do you know how weird that is for me?”
“Oh, you’ll be okay. Chris is like a brother to me. His family is great.”
Xander clears his throat and begins to speak in his commanding tone, taking control of the room.
“Let’s not forget what this is all about: our safety. We need to be thankful we have somewhere to go. Not everyone’s so lucky,” he says. Jenna feels weak in the knees. She has suddenly turned to mush as Xander shows just how empathetic of an individual he can be.
“I’ve received word from Chris that there have been some fatalities. I didn’t want to tell you all because I didn’t want to scare you, but these poachers are out for blood in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. But, it’s best if we’re all in the know. We need to stay on our toes.”
“How many of ours are gone?” Douglas asks quietly.
“Three. We’ve lost three shifters in the region,” Xander says with eyes on the ground.
“That’s 3 too many,” shouts Ethan in fury. “God dammit!”
“I’m so sorry Ethan,” says Mikayla to her man.
“Let’s get out of here,” decides Ethan. “We’re ready to come back here and fight the battle. We’ll be here instantly. Just call us.”
“Okay, brother. Be safe out there,” advises Blake as they grab their bags and head outside.
“I guess we’ll go, too,” Ellen says heistantly. “Are you ready, Douglas?”
Douglas gives his brother a quick pat on the back, a manly display of affection. “What Ethan said. We’ll be right here. Don’t hesitate to call us. Don’t try to be a hero,” says Douglas to his brother.
“We’ll see you guys soon, okay? Be safe, everyone,” says Ellen as she waves goodbye.
“I guess that leave us, huh?” Xander asks Jenna. “Blake. You know the protocol. You know everything we’ve talked about. There’s no one I trust more than you. Take care of her, okay?” He gestures to Avery who has moved to the kitchen where she cleans up after dinner.
“We’re going to be fine. This will all be over soon. It has to be,” Blake asserts. “Be safe out there. We’ll see you.”
Jenna runs into the kitchen to give Avery a hug. “We’ll be back really soon, okay? And I don’t know if I got the chance to say this yet, but thanks for having me. You’ve really made me feel welcome. All of you. I know I’ll see you again,” explains Jenna. She walks away before any tears begin to flow.
“Bye Blake,” says Jenna. Xander grabs his bags. Together they head to his car and onto the next part of their adventure.
Chapter 17
The dark open road stretches before Xander and Jenna. Although they haven’t been driving long, they’re looking for a motel to stop at.
“So, how did you help the others develop their ability to control their bears?” Jenna asks. Most of the ride so far has been filled with silence, but not an awkward silence. In fact, Jenna feels like it’s just the opposite. It is a comfortable silence wherethey don’t need to fill every moment with their voices. Then again, that’s just Jenna's. As far as she knows, Xander is itching to jump out of the moving vehicle. He’s so hard to read. Jenna’s never met someone who has given her this many mixed signals before. “What do you mean by that?” he asks. His tone isn’t accusatory, but genuinely curious.
“I mean, how are the Collins brothers so calm, cool, and collected? I feel like my bear is trying to destroy my life. If I could control it, we wouldn’t be wasting time and effort staying in a motel tonight.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not going to help. You need to befriend your bear. Right now, you’re at odds with each other. How will you ever find peace if you can’t learn to share a body?”
“How will I learn to share this body if I can’t find peace?”
“Touche,” responds Xander.
“Plus, it’s my body. Why should I have to share it? How did this happen to me, Xander? Why am I like this?”
Xander realizes maybe practical advice is not what Jenna is seeking right now. Maybe she just needs to scream. Xander says nothing, letting Jenna continue to open up and express her emotions fully.
“I’ve been robbed of a normal life. Completely robbed. Grandma Jean used to tell me this is a gift and not a curse. I actually believed her for a little bit, too. When she said it, it sounded so true. But without her, I have no one to remind me of the good in my life. It’s so hard to do this on my own.” Xander realizes Jenna is crying. He wants to say something, to let her know he’s been where she is and that it can get better. He wants to tell her that he knows what it’s like to feel cursed.
But, when he opens his mouth to say the words, he can’t. He can’t bring himself to reveal his truth to her. Not while she’s so upset. What if she only gets more upset? What if she feels lied to? While he maintains that this isn’t a lie so much as a withholding information, he wouldn’t blame her if she was furious. All she wants is to be with shifters and to learn from them. He’s quite a learned shifter who has years of practice working on hisself-discipline. It is with this self discipline that he became so powerful. It’s the same control that Jenna so desperately wants to possess. Xander doesn’t feel confident that he can do more than he’s already doing, so he keeps his mouth shut. Why stir the pot now?
“You’re not on your own,” answers Xander. “You have me. And everyone in the family. I know it seems scary, but-” Jenna cuts him off.
“You can’t know. You can’t know at all h
ow I feel! You’re so lucky. You don’t have to deal with this...lifestyle. You’ve watched from the outside, and I’m sure you get it as much as any human could. But you don’t really get it. You could never,” cries Jenna. Xander bites his tongue. He uses the same self-discipline that helps him control his bear to control his reactions. Jenna is going through an extremely difficult time, and he can acknowledge that he hasn’t been the most consistent support. While he’s doing what he can, he also has other responsibilities that surpass training this inexperienced shifter. In another life, he imagines he could give himself over to her completely. In this life, however, he can’t expect to have a happy ending. He learned a long time ago that happy endings are a rouse. Now, he’s returning to the place where his whole world came crashing down.
“You’re right,” Xander calmly replies. “You’re right. I don’t get it. I won’t try to. Look, there’s the motel just up the road. It’s just about 9:30 so we have time to get you all settled, maybe check out the lay of the land before you run free for the night.”
Jenna exhales and then sniffles. She reaches into her bag for a tissue and wipes the tears from under her eyes. They pull into the motel, which has the classic neon sign to illuminate the parking lot.
“This looks...seedy,” Jenna notes.
“All motels look seedy. They’re motels. Plus, what other options do we have?”
“Wasn’t complaining. Just an observation. You’re right. Let’s do this,” says Jenna as she takes her bags from the trunk.
Together, they approach the front desk. The motel lobby reeks of cigarettes and alcohol. At first, they don’t see anyone in the lobby or behind the counter. Jenna is nervous, and considers the emptiness a sign that they should leave. She isn’t sure where she would shift or what she would do when it happens, but it’s better than risking their lives.
“Maybe we should go,” says Jenna.
“Just wait a minute,” Xander responds, calmly as ever. Jenna admires his ability to stay composed in the most anxiety-inducing situations. She wishes she had that control over her emotions.
