Turning the knob he stepped in, dropped his papers on the empty corner of his desk, pulled off his coat, and found his favorite spot in front of the floor to ceiling windows looking out over the city.
He stood tapping his fingers on the window sill, staring but not seeing the tiny people and vehicles on the streets below. Lee was remembering his sleepless night, while enjoying the sunlight streaming through the glass warming his body and soul, as it calmed his tormented mind.
He was tired before the day started.
With a heavy sigh he moved toward the desk and eased his tall frame into the chair. Through the wall of windows looking out onto the workplace floor, he watched the workers going about the business of book publishing.
Sally Parker hurried through the door and handed him his cup of coffee.
“Good morning Lee. Another note is taped on your computer reminding you to learn to use it.”
He glanced at the monitor, pulled the note off, and with a flick of his wrist tossed it into the trashcan without reading it.
“Thanks for the heads up. I would be lost without you. For twenty years the company has tried to force me to use a computer. I’m a dinosaur, Sally, what else can I say? I’m computer challenged and too old to learn now.”
She nodded.
“Sally, you know better than anyone that I don’t like change. I have you; you’re all I need.”
Sally looked Lee in the eyes. “That’s right, you always have me, and I do get the job done for you.”
Lee knew he could depend on her to pick up the slack, and do all the computer research for him without complaining.
Unlike some of the girls who worked in the office. She saved him valuable time.
Of course, he always took credit for the work she did, he had no shame. He became so caught up in his own importance, nothing else mattered. He thought the world revolved only around him.
“I have a lot of research to do today. I can’t stay and chat any longer.”
With that statement she scurried back to her desk.
With a strange look on his face, he was thinking how odd. Sally always had time to chat. She must be behind with her work.
Later in the morning he was busy reading, sipping coffee and checking the calendar for jobs he had to finish. But, he couldn’t get the nagging thought out of his mind, something must be in the air, but what? He tried not to think about it by going back to work.
Engrossed in reading a new report, it surprised him when Ray, his boss and long-time friend, marched into his office closing the door with a thud.
“Lee we need to talk.” Lee looked up startled.
“I have bad news and good news for you. Which do you want first?” Ray planted himself in front of the desk, was silent for a few seconds. Lee stared at him, waiting, thinking, it seemed like Ray was searching for the right words. Ray folded his arms across his chest, cleared his throat while rocking back and forth on the heels of his shoes, clenching his jaw.
“Give me the bad news first.”
“As you know Wentworth Publishing has been making a lot of personnel changes in this office and company-wide.”
Lee nodded.
“The competition is crushing us with the electronic readers. Then there’s self-publishing. We’re selling less printed books. I know you’re also aware that we’re going to downsize even more than originally expected.” Ray uncrossed his arms and shoved his hands into his pockets.
Lee crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.
”Are you trying to say we’re going to have to let Sally go.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Ray loosened his tie. “After much consideration, we’ll be combining your job with two other positions. So, we’ll be letting you go.” Ray pulled his glasses out of his shirt pocket and rolled then around in his hand before he started to talk again.
“Sally will fill your position, and we’re going to replace the old printing equipment, hire some tech geeks to make our company more competitive, while moving it into the twenty-first century of publishing.”
Drops of sweat beaded up on Lee’s forehead. The aroma of coffee distracted him. Phones ringing out on the workroom floor sounded ten times louder than normal. All the while he was thinking, Ray is firing me, why can’t I think of anything except the smell of coffee, and ringing phones? He was confused. Getting out of his chair, he crossed his arms and stared at Ray as he continued to talk. Ray took a couple of steps back.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. This time you’re the most expendable employee. Look at it from our point of view; you’re the only one in the office who still writes everything out in pen on paper. You’ve refused to learn to use the computers we’ve given you. You place all the burden of your job on Sally.” Ray looked down and lowered his voice.
Lee glanced out in the work area looking for Sally but didn’t see her anywhere. He brought his attention back to Ray.
Twisting the wedding band on his finger, Ray continued. “I know we’ve been friends for years, but the business comes first. Today is your last day. You can leave now if you wish.” Ray looked Lee in the eyes.
Lee’s mouth was gaping open in disbelief at what he was hearing. He cupped his hands over his ears for a second before dropping them to his side. “Ray, what’s the good news?”
“The good news is you’ll get one year of severance pay. Even though you’re too young for the full pension, our board of directors agreed to make an exception because you’ve been with the company for twenty-five years and a loyal employee, when the severance ends your pension will start.”
Ray slid a small box from his jacket pocket, grabbed Lee’s right hand in his, shook it, at the same time placing the small box in Lee’s other hand, then he turned and walked out the door.
Lee was too shocked and dazed to speak or move. His eyes followed Ray as he marched out, crossed the work station floor and into his own office, closing the door.
Holding up the box he raised the lid, revealing an inexpensive gold Timex. Wentworth Publishing was written in black lettering on the white dial. He threw the box and all into the trashcan.
Panic was surging from his head to his toes. Leaning against the desk to steady his shaky legs he searched the office floor looking for Sally. She was nowhere to be found.
His arm wasn’t long enough as he groped for the chair behind him. Flopping hard onto the seat all he could think of was what’ll I do now? He sat at his desk for ten minutes or so trying to absorb what had taken place. The pension would be nice. Now he’d have time to do some things he’d wanted to do for years, like writing and traveling for pleasure. He was still too young to collect Social Security, but the generous pension would be plenty, for now.
Workers paused at his office window waving good-bye, others came in to shake his hand and to say they would miss him. It was evident everyone knew he was leaving except him.
His mind replayed how callous and insensitive Ray had been. He questioned how long he had known he was going to fire him, never letting on at the bar last night, they talked for hours over drinks and Ray didn’t say anything about work. Some friend he has turned out to be. Humiliation washed over him, he didn’t know what to do. Lee knew it would be a challenge for him to continue a friendship with Ray after this—but Lee was smarter than that. He learned years ago not to burn his bridges behind him, because he never knew when he would need one to get across the river.
After Lee collected his thoughts, he decided the best thing to do was leave as soon as possible.
He’d have to find his way down to the storeroom, something he never had to do because Sally always went there for him. He’d need a cardboard box to pack his stuff into. He kept thinking about Sally, and why she wasn’t at her desk. He knew Sally of all people would be angry with Ray for firing him, because she was made of better stuff than Ray, even though she would get a promotion from it.
Lee poked around in his bottom desk drawer finding a flashlight.
; The bright beam of light was the only illumination as he picked his way down to the basement. Most of the bulbs in the hallways were burnt out. He could see large piles of rat droppings in the corners. In some places it was so dark he had to slide his shoe on the floor in front of him.
He was disgusted that the company didn’t put decent lighting in the lower parts of the building. Oh, well, it didn’t matter now what he thought.
He paused feeling air under his foot, flashing the light down there were the steps, worn smooth from one hundred years of foot traffic, making them treacherous.
He would miss Sally, and he was sure she would miss him. She was his one true friend. He continued to mumble as he picked his way to the bottom of the steps and the lower corridor. He puttered along, flashing the torch at the top of each door looking for the storeroom, he opened a door, but it was a broom closet.
Then he was in front of it, to his surprise the door stood ajar. He stepped inside, then paused, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
On the other side of the stockroom a bare light bulb was hanging down from the ceiling on a long wire, casting dim light and shadows on the wall on the other side.
A quick glance around the cavernous space gave him the impression it was filled with thousands of books stacked on pallets, but he couldn’t be sure because of the lack of light.
He was surprised to find a tall pile of cardboard boxes blocking his path.
As he picked one from the stack, he paused and turned his head, and listened, he was sure he heard voices. By this time his eyes had become accustomed to the darkness. Silently he stared at the wall across the way, he was sure he could hear chatter and laughter from a man and woman in the far corner of the room. Clicking off the light it looked like there were two silhouetted images on the wall. Squinting he strained to see who was there, then he realized who it was. In the shadows under that single dim light bulb stood Ray and Sally locked in each other’s arms in a passionate kiss. They were completely oblivious to his presence. In that split second the curtains were torn back, he now saw the real truth. Ray fired him not because of his refusal to learn the computer but to promote Sally to a new position. He raised the palm of his hand, tapping it against his forehead. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. His face flushed with anger, he wanted to go over to them, deck Ray, then tell Sally what he thought of her, but he kept control of himself. It was as though a knife was being twisted in his heart. He was thunderstruck, betrayed beyond his wildest dreams by two people he thought he could trust with his life.
He couldn’t believe he had missed all the signs of their affair, and how will this affect Ray’s poor wife? The signs must have been everywhere, and he didn’t see them, or didn’t want to.
He turned his flashlight back on, grabbed the perfect empty box, and slipped out the storeroom door undetected.
Back at his desk tossing the few belongings he had into the box, he sighed while thinking, how pathetic he must look, after twenty-five years he could pack all his stuff into a small cardboard crate. Picking up Joan’s picture he placed it on top of the pile so it wouldn’t get broken. Sally strolled into his office with a look of concern.
“Lee, I’m surprised and shocked to hear the news. It’s hard to believe they would do this to you. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you need anything? Will you be all right?”
“No, thank you Sally you’ve already done more than enough. I’ll be fine.” He kept his eyes glued to the box.
“Well, if you’re sure I can’t help. I’ll keep in touch and I’m going to miss you.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Same here Sally, I think.” He couldn’t look at her. When she turned around and walked back to her desk, Lee looked up in time to see her break into a smile as she sat in her chair and went back to work on her computer. He could hear her humming a tune to herself.
With a gentle pat on Joan’s picture, he picked up the box, took one last look around the office then walked out of Wentworth Publishing for the last time.
On the drive home, he replayed the morning in his mind like a movie, recounting every detail.
Hoping it might be a bad dream and he would wake up soon. He couldn’t believe what they had done to him in a matter of minutes. Twenty-five years of dedicated service, wiped out, in a heartbeat. He lived and breathed editing and research for the company. Every six months he received offers from other publishing houses wanting him to come to work for them. Of course, when he stopped to think about it, there hadn’t been any of those offers in the last couple of years. He wasted so much of his life with Wentworth Publishing. He ignored Joan, his beautiful, compassionate wife, leaving her alone for weeks or months at a time. She was so understanding and loving. She told him many times, do what makes you happy, Lee. And like the selfish jerk he was, he did. He was glad Joan had Miranda as a friend. They grew up together and stayed friends through the years.
In looking back, Lee realized because Joan had Miranda it made it easy for him to cut her out of his life. After all, his career was what was important. Joan would have to find her own happiness. He knew when he returned home after a long road trip, she would be waiting for him with open arms to welcome him back. What foolish regrets he now had and he could never make it up to Joan, not now.
He ignored his family and friends, devoting his heart and soul to being the best in the business, and getting fired was his thanks.
CHAPTER 4
Bridgetown, New York, February 1962
When Joanie’s car was out of sight, Bert ambled across the room to the bed, sat on the edge of the mattress to finish lacing his other boot. He debated if he should put on his long underwear to keep him warm on the long walk to the bus, but he decided against it. It was too much work; he was anxious to get to town.
The house with all the furniture once belonged to his mother and father, now it was his to share with his sister. He was born in the log cabin still standing across the dirt driveway. The family moved into the new house when Bert was twelve years old.
At the dresser he was combing his hair, making sure he looked respectable. As he turned away, he did a double take, at the reflection looking back at him, he jumped, grabbing the dresser to steady his large frame. He gazed at the apparition perched on his shoulder staring back at him, rubbing his eyes in disbelief at the old goblin. He was scared because he only saw this ugly creature when he was drunk, and here it was looking back at him in the mirror. Bert raised his voice. Go away, Cadaverous, I haven’t started drinking yet. He reached up with his big hand to brush him off, as he did it revealed an evil grin, showing its pointed teeth, then vanished into thin air as quickly as it appeared. Bert shivered. Wide-eyed, he watched in the mirror to be sure it was gone.
He knew seeing that thing wasn’t a good sign, he continued to stare long and hard into the mirror thinking maybe he was going out of his mind, but he didn’t think he looked crazy.
He hurried for the door, turned into the hall and made his way toward the stairs, passing the attic door, he noticed it was standing open. He pushed it shut, locked it, and went down to the kitchen.
“You’re going to miss your bus to town if you don’t hurry.” His taste buds perked up smelling the fresh coffee, coming from the cup Lizzie was holding.
Before she could offer him some he said, “Cadaverous, the old goblin, was sitting on my shoulder up there again.”
Lizzie set her cup on the table, turned, shaking her crooked finger at him.
“It’s all our mother’s fault. If she hadn’t messed around with those evil spirits, doing all those weird things like stopping blood and blowing fire, you wouldn’t see the devil sitting on your shoulder all the time. Mark my words Bert, that’s a bad omen.”
He got up from his chair shaking his head. “Lizzie, shut up. Forget I ever mentioned it. You can’t blame our mother for everything. Janie and Joanie’s mother died seventeen years ago, but you’re the one who sees her standing at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night.”
By this time he was half listening to her and thinking how tasty the coffee smelled. On his way to the door, he stopped long enough to scoop up his wool hunting jacket hanging over the back of one of the wooden chairs. He slipped it on. He loved how warm and cozy it was as he buttoned it up.
The frosty February air sent a shiver through him when he opened the door, even though the sun was shining. Lizzie was mumbling something as he closed the door behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief to be out of earshot of her endless chattering. He thought about the poor man who might someday be her husband.
Bertrand and Elizabeth shared their ancestral home built in 1899, in a little village, south of Bridgetown. Of course, no one called him Bertrand; he was known as Big Bert Grayson. Elizabeth was Liz to most people and Lizzie to Bert.
They were the only two of five children in the family who never saw marriage in their futures. One reason could’ve been Bert was too much of a drinking man while Lizzie was too prim and proper—all the men who came into her life never lived up to her expectations. Together, this brother and sister continued to live on the old homestead that occupied a half-acre in the middle of one hundred acres of prime farmland in the lush mountains of New York.
Their mother and father passed away without leaving a will. This led to family battles over dividing up the estate, leaving five strong-willed children to settle it. Bert and Liz had permission from their siblings to live in the family homestead until one of them died, then the property was to be split up between the remaining heirs.
One of the heirs, Miser the oldest sister grew restless and unhappy with this arrangement. She wanted Bert and Lizzie kicked out and everything divided up right away. She didn’t want to wait for her inheritance, but she had no choice. The majority ruled. That was the agreement between the five of them established many years ago.
Every Saturday Bert walked a mile and a half from his home to catch the afternoon bus to town. He knew he was running late so he picked up the pace, coming to the conclusion his work cloths weren’t warm enough by the time he arrived at the bus stop. He stood waiting on the bus thinking he should’ve put on his long Johns, but at least he was smart enough to put on his jacket.
Secret Keepers and Skinny Shadows: Lee and Miranda Page 2
