“You were the one she was afraid of,” Finn raged. “You were the one who beat her. Who raped her. Who left her body in ruins.”
Dominic chuckled despite the blood choking him. “Bitch liked it rough.”
“You're a monster.”
“I’m Dominic Cassell, so go fuck yourself, you stupid fucking Mick.”
“Getting real tired of people calling me that.” Finn raised the gun again and pointed it at Dominic’s forehead.
Dominic spat more blood. “Just get it fucking over with. You say I'm a monster, but your sister told me the things you did. Said you blew up post offices and schools. A little girl died. You're the monster.” He took a breath, spat some blood away. Then laughed weakly, “Even despite that, it was you she threatened me with when I gave her the last beating. Said 'my big brother will make you pay.' I laughed because I thought she meant that pussy, Clive. Guess she got the last laugh, huh?”
Finn shook his head slowly. “She's not laughing. She's dead.”
The shot echoed through the burnt-out building.
The bullet struck Finn with such force that it launched him forwards onto his hands and knees. His palm slashed open on a twisted nail poking out from a half-burned timber, but the pain seemed far away. All the strength went out of him at once, and he collapsed onto his side in the building’s charred remains.
“Dad, are you okay?”
Dominic's jaw fell open as he looked across the road. “Fucking ‘ell, Mikey, is that you?”
13
CONFUSION
Finn lay dying in the rubble, watching.
“You left me stuck in the flat, dad.”
Dominic pulled himself up to sitting. “I know, son, I had some complications to take care of. The Beverley’s hit us hard. How are things back at the Hobby?”
Minty shrugged. “They were okay when I left, but that was a day and a half ago. I found mum in the bedroom.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. You know what she was like. Went off her head when the drugs dried up. I was just defending myself. I told you that before I left. She okay?”
Minty shook his head and knelt down beside Wonder Mutt, stroking the animal as if to calm his nerves. “She cried out after you left for hours. When I found her she was dead. I never got to see her, dad. You locked me up while she was dying.”
“Are you fucking crying on me, son?”
Minty wiped his cheek. “I just keep seeing her face.”
“Don’t be a bloody pussy, Mikey. Help me up. I just lost two of my boys, and I need to get back to the Hobby before I lose any more.”
“What's it even matter? Everyone is going to die soon, anyway.”
“Get me the fuck up before I give you a bloody mouth.”
Minty reached down and helped his father up. Finn stayed still in the rubble. His entire body was numb, so it wasn't difficult. He was dying.
I’m sorry, Marie.
Wherever you are, I'm sure I won’t be joining you.
Dominic leered down at Finn. With his broken nose rapidly swelling he looked like a demon. Finn considered playing dead, but it was already obvious he was still alive. “Fucker broke my nose. How'd you end up with him?”
“He’s just some guy,” said Minty. “He came to the pub looking for you.”
“Did you know the bird as well?” He nodded at Katie who was lying nearby with one of her legs folded beneath her.
Minty nodded. “Yeah, she was nice.”
“Now she’s worm food, stupid bitch. Come on, son, let’s put this muppet out of his misery and get back to the boozer. I’m going to need your help. That fucker messed up my leg even worse. We're ditching that fucking mongrel too. Thing bit me, so you're lucky I don't ring its neck. Should ring all your necks.” He spat blood at Finn. Finn was too weak to even flinch.
Minty made eye-contact with Finn and a flicker of guilt in his expression made him look away. “Can’t we just leave Finn here? He thought you killed his sister. You didn’t though, right? You told me Marie ran away because you were finished with her.”
“What do you fucking care?” Dominic growled. “Stop pissing and moaning like a woman. Don’t make me beat the life out of you like I did your stupid mother.”
“Dad, why do you hurt women?”
Dominic backhanded his son across the mouth. Like his father, Minty ended up spitting blood. “Don’t you dare question me, boy. I don't owe you a fucking thing.”
Dominic kicked Wonder Mutt, making the dog yelp and howl. Then he turned and stood over Finn, shaking his head. “Never have kids, mate.” He grabbed a length of still-intact timber from the ashes and held it over Finn’s skull. “Bad luck, Mick. You almost got me.”
“Dad, please! Just leave him.”
Dominic sneered. “Not a chance.”
Finn closed his eyes.
Click!
Dominic still held the length of timber in his hands—had been about to smash it down on Finn’s forehead—but now he turned around in silence. Minty stood before him, terror etched across his face. “Did you just pull the trigger on me, boy?”
Minty pulled the trigger again. And again. His face fell as he realised the revolver was empty.
Like father like son.
Dominic sneered. “You must have missed the bit where I ran out of bullets, you stupid little prick. You're dead.”
Dominic punched his son hard in the face and sent him sprawling like a ragdoll to the ground. Finn winced, but used the distraction to try to unbury himself from the rubble.
Every movement hurt, and he had to bite down on his lip to keep from screaming out, but he was gradually able to get control of his body again.
Minty wailed and called out for help, but none would come. Dominic bore down on his son, ready to strike again. “The world is over, Mikey,” he said. “Only the strong get to live. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be dead already, and you have the sodding balls to pull the trigger on me?”
“Please, Dad. I'm sorry!”
Finn tried to pull himself up. If he could just get behind Dominic and hit him with something.
But it wasn’t going to happen. As much as he fought, he moved at a snail’s pace. Even if he could climb up, he was too dizzy to stand. He heaved himself forward a few inches, but then his arms failed him, and he collapsed back onto his side.
He was screwed.
And so was Minty.
Finn blinked, hating himself for failing the one chance he had to do something good.
It had been his last chance.
A way to put that little girl behind him. The little girl who had died of internal bleeding even after he had carried her out of the wreckage. It was the last person he ever killed on behalf of the IRA. The reason his next bomb had been an intentional dud. The reason Chris Adams had stalked him across the city with a gang of his former brothers.
He was going to die with nothing but blood on his soul. When he finally stood before the golden gates, he would lack a single honourable deed to beg access with.
Hell waited to claim him.
Then Finn saw it. A way out.
Glinting amongst the rubble like a beacon of hope was his automatic pistol. It poked out from beneath a blackened shelving unit where he had dropped it when Minty shot him.
Dominic kicked Minty in the guts as he tried to clamber to his feet, forcing the air from his small lungs in a gigantic howl.
Finn reached out for his gun, every muscle crying out in protest. Inch by inch, his fingertips stretched towards it.
“Dad, please…”
Dominic kicked his son again. And Again. He was killing the kid. His own blood.
“Come on,” Finn told himself. His fingertips wiggled and stretched. As much as he strained, he could not make that final inch he needed to get the gun. It was just out of reach.
His body would move no further.
No. Come on. Please God.
Something beneath Finn shifted and fell. All of a sudden, his body slid to one side an
d a whole pile of debris moved.
His hand found the gun. Thank you, God!
Or was that you, Marie?
Dominic grabbed a length of copper piping poking out of a toppled brick wall and yanked it free. The end was sharp, and he held it over his shoulder like a javelin. He glared at Minty. “See you in Hell, son.”
“Hey, Asshole,” Finn shouted.
Dominic spun around, almost tripped as Wonder Mutt tangled in his feet.
“This is for Marie.” Finn pulled the trigger. The bullet tore through the knee of Dominic’s good leg, and he dropped to the ground screaming. “Stupid Cockney.”
Finn slumped back into the rubble, gasping. It took almost two minutes before he was able to move again. Agonisingly, he dragged himself towards a nearby shelving unit and climbed it until he was almost on his feet. The whole while Dominic continued to writhe and scream, clutching his knee and bellowing obscenities. Finn ignored the man's agony and instead checked himself over. He’d been shot. Twice. The first time by Dominic had been a flesh wound to his left tricep, but the second bullet—fired by Minty—had struck his back and come out his front. The exit wound was still bleeding.
The kid's messed me up bad.
Minty wept amongst the debris, his skinny body curled up like a foetus. Wonder Mutt sat dutifully by his side, ears pricked up as if waiting for assistance.
“Hey, kid. It’s okay,” Finn called out. “You can get up.”
Minty lifted his head like a newly hatched bird. “You're going to kill me.”
Finn shook his head. “No.”
Gingerly, Minty pulled himself up, still sobbing as he favoured his ribs. His lips had swollen into thick purple sausages from Dominic’s fist crushing against them.
Finn held onto the shelving unit while his head swirled. “Fuck me, I feel like a mule kicked me.”
Minty started crying, hysterically now. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t shoot me, Finn.”
Finn looked at the gun in his hand and let it fall to his side. The weight of it had suddenly become heavy. “I’m not going to shoot you, brother. And if I did, it wouldn’t be in the back.”
“You were going to kill my dad.” Minty wiped away a stream of snot with the back of his hand. “I told you not to kill him.”
Finn huffed. “Excuse me if I don’t label you a hypocrite, but I seem to recall you pulling the trigger yourself.”
Minty shook his head and stared at Katie's body amongst the blackened debris. “I thought he’d be proud of me,” he muttered. “I thought he killed my mum by accident, but you heard him. He killed Katie and your sister too. He was a monster.”
Finn looked down at Dominic and felt sick to his stomach. He should never have let him take Katie. He should never have allowed her to sacrifice herself like that.
I should have done something sooner.
It’s all because of Dominic.
But Finn knew that it had really started with him. His sister's death could be traced back to the day she stood there with her dolly begging her big brother not to abandon her.
“You can kill him now,” said Minty, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You can kill my dad.”
Finn pushed himself away from the rubble and was able to stand on his own. He stumbled over to Dominic and took a closer look at the man. Instead of shouting out curses, Dominic gritted his teeth and said nothing at all. Finn knew he was trying to keep his dignity before he died.
This is it. The reason I'm here instead of at home with Ma and Clive.
I made a promise.
Finn felt the weight of the gun in his hand and let it drop into the rubble.
“I don't understand,” said Minty. “What are you doing?”
“Breaking a promise. And keeping another.”
Finn threaded his way through the rubble and limped out into the road. A blood trail stained the ground behind him and his vision twinkled with inky stars. Death was coming for him. He didn’t want to give another minute to hate. Dominic could live or die; he didn’t care anymore.
No one had any time left.
The final moments were perhaps the only ones that had ever mattered. Finn was glad not to spend them killing.
“Where are you going?” Minty called after him.
“Just somewhere.”
“Can I come?”
Finn stopped and turned around to face the child who had shot him. “Yes,” he said. “Of course you can come. Bring the dog, too.”
14
BEGINNINGS
By the time they reached the woods at the end of the industrial road, Finn could no longer walk on his own. Minty had to prop him up and help him with every step. Wonder Mutt had to keep waiting for them to catch up.
Minty knew Finn was dying.
And he knew it was his fault.
I shot him in the back. Why did I do that?
Because I thought I was supposed to save my dad.
I didn’t see the man who was really looking after me.
Minty kept wanting to sob and cry, but every time he even so much as attempted to apologise, Finn would tell him to be quiet. The man didn’t seem to mind that he was dying, he just wanted to get to where he was going. Which turned out to be that patch of woodland they had seen before finding Dominic.
“That’s it, I knew I could get there,” said Finn. “Thanks, Minty. Just help me over to that log over there.”
Minty carried Finn over to a fallen tree and eased him down. The log was thick, but Minty knew nothing about trees to know what it was.
“It’s an oak tree,” said Finn, as if reading his mind. “Some of them live for hundreds of years. Even they can’t survive with so little sun.”
Minty looked at Finn. Although he was still alive, Finn’s mind seemed far away.
“And that’s a willow tree,” said Finn. “We have those back home in Ireland. There must be a stream nearby because they like the wet. And I think… yes, that over there is an alder.”
Minty frowned. “How you know so much about trees?”
Finn seem to come back to reality and smiled. He looked at Minty as he spoke. “Marie and I used to spend all our time in the woods when I was about your age. We used to borrow nature books from the library and try to identify all the insects and trees we could find. It was the last time I was ever happy, Minty. Almost forty, and I stopped being happy at twelve. I feel her here, though, you know? If there’s one place I can let go of everything, it’s here amongst the trees. It’s more than I deserve.”
Minty sat down on the log beside Finn. “I’m sorry about Marie.”
“Me too.”
Minty stroked Wonder Mutt on the head as he thought about things. “I know you didn’t save Marie, but you saved me, Finn. And Wonder Mutt. We were both suffering until you came and rescued us. I think that God judges us on who we are when we die, not who we were before.”
Finn laughed, but there was no humour in it. “You know who I was before, Minty? I was a guy who set bombs and walked away. What kind of a coward does that? I only came here to escape my boss who wanted me dead—just wanted to save my own worthless arse.”
“You could have gone anywhere,” said Minty. “You came home to your family.”
“I had nowhere else to go. Maybe I just wanted to see a friendly face before I went to Hell, but instead, I found my sister’s body. For the best. I don’t think she would recognise me anymore. The last job I did for my boss killed a girl about your age, Minty. Her name was Jenny. I tried to save her, but it made no difference. I see her face every time I close my eyes.” He started to cry. “Every night she presses her soft cheek against mine and asks me why I do such wicked things, and every night I can’t give her an answer. Part of me looks forward to this all being over, but what’s coming next for me has to be worse. I know it.”
“Maybe there’s just nothing,” said Minty. It was an idea he had tried to ignore, but every now and then the despair of impending nothingness crept in and smothered him. No
w that it was so close it was almost debilitating. “Perhaps being dead is like before we’re born, you know? We can’t even think about it. You try to grasp a glimpse from before your birth, but all you see is black. Maybe all you have to worry about is darkness.”
Finn smiled. His face had turned pale, even beneath the film of ash and sweat. “You think? You think it will be peaceful?”
Minty hated to admit it, but he nodded. “I think peace is probably all there is.”
“Are you scared, kid?”
“Terrified,” he admitted. Finn had begun to tilt on the log. Blood drip-dripped from his lower back to the crisp leaves below. He didn’t have long left. “I’m scared of being alone at the end.”
Finn’s eyes moved, but the rest of his body stayed still. “You won’t be alone, kid.”
And then Finn told him.
FINN HAD DIED LESS than two minutes later, slumping sideways onto the log and rolling off onto the floor. Minty placed him on his back and covered him in leaves beneath the willow tree. Wonder Mutt gave him a lick goodbye.
Then Minty had set off, leaving the woods and the dead Irishman behind him. He walked quickly through the shadowy industrial estate, anxious without an adult to protect him. He thought about Edward back at the police station and wondered how many more monsters like him lurked close by. Wonder Mutt couldn’t fight off them all. The streets remained quiet though, and when he reached the end of the road, he saw that they would never be busy again.
The horizon seemed to shimmer like a haze over a hot road. Something rose several feet above the landscape, almost hovering. Something dark and grey.
Wonder Mutt yipped.
The tar had arrived.
The edges of Minty’s world began to roll inwards, and he watched in horrified amazement as a distant tower block began to lean perilously as its base turned to viscous ooze. People screamed, far off, but no one came his way. He knew that people would begin to run soon, but it would be pointless. Why not stand and accept their fate now? The world had mere hours remaining—who wanted to stick around for that?
Yet, Minty turned away from the disappearing horizon and went the other way. He didn’t want to be alone at the end.
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