by RJ Hunter
The rain got decidedly heavier, and David went to stand beneath a large oak tree. He was now quite obscured from Sally, and he fought hard to hold back his tears, as he saw the bearers move towards his brother's coffin. It had been placed on the ground, sitting on horizontal beams. Ropes had been threaded beneath the casket at either end. Now, two bearers stood at either side and awaited a sign from the director to take them up and lower the deceased down into his grave. He saw Sally surge forward and throw herself onto William's coffin. She was crying hysterically and clung to the casket knowing she would never be so physically close to him again. Lizzie came forward with Jeremy to console her, to re-assure her, to be with her, but she pushed them away. Laura and Penny stood close by, holding each other for support while Jonathan remained directly behind them, clutching his face in his hands.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die.
(Mary Frye).
Lizzie and Jeremy drew back to give Sally her last moments with her husband. The rain was now coming down in heavy sheets, as the mourners opened their umbrella's and retreated in amongst the trees. Only Sally was left, her hair drenched, her clothes sodden and soiled with mud. She clamped her arms tightly around the coffin and called out his name. She needed to be held, to be cuddled, to be loved. She needed David there to take care of her and bring her out of the nightmare she was trapped in. But he had already left, and was back in the taxi and heading to his hotel. It was left to her son, Jonathan to come to his mother's aid. He bent down in the mud beside her, and pulled her close against him. She turned to look up at Jonathan's face, and reached out her arms to hold him. He held, and cuddled his mother, warming her with the heat from his body. He then took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders, just like his father had once done, when he and sally had shared their first kiss, during the fierce snow storm back at Falcondale. With their tears combining, mother and son stood up as one, and together they remained solid and proud, as William was finally laid to rest.
After the funeral was over, several of the mourners came back to Sally's house. Lizzie had to act as temporary host until her friend was able to face people once again. It lifted Lizzie's heart to see William's mother Joan speaking so amiably to the two girls and Jonathan.
Sally and William had married in secret, back in the early sixties when she was pregnant with Jonathan. Joan had never forgiven her for that, and the relationship between the two women had remained strained since that day.
"Where's Sally? I wanted to see her before I leave." Asked Joan, placing her empty tea cup on the table.
"She's in her room. The doctor gave her a sedative and told her to rest." Replied Lizzie.
"Well, not to worry. Perhaps I'll call her when I get back to Canada."
Lizzie nodded, but felt distinctly uncomfortable under the older woman's gaze.
It was then that Sally appeared in the doorway. She had got changed into a conservative-looking skirt and sweater. She was puffy around the eyes from where she had been crying, but now seemed a lot more in control of her emotions.
"Hello, Joan. I'm sorry I've been such a bad host. I let things get to me a bit."
It was odd, under the circumstances to see Joan smile, but smile she did, and it lit up the whole of her face, as if she had seen enlightenment.
"Sally, I'm very proud at the way you and your family coped. I can see you loved my son with all of your heart."
"I can't put into words how I felt about William. He was my world, my life, my love." Replied Sally, demurely.
"You have been a fantastic wife to William, Sally, and have given him the most beautiful children, and myself, the most wonderful grandchildren. I'm indebted to you for making my son so happy."
"Thank-you Joan, you don't know what that means to me."
Joan nodded, and got up to take her leave.
"My taxi should be here shortly, Sally, but before I go I want to apologise to you for being such an awful mother-in-law."
Sally couldn't bear to become tearful again, and reached for a tissue.
"You have nothing to apologise for, Joan. If I could turn back the clock, things would have been different."
"Thank-you, Sally," replied Joan, as she reached out to embrace her daughter-in-law. "I'm going to make a promise to see more of you and your lovely family. Maybe, you could all come over to Niagara-on-the-Lake soon. After all, we are a family, and need to be together."
Just hearing Joan's words gave Sally the lift she had been needing, but there was still something else deeply troubling her.
"I looked for David. I hoped he would have been there today?"
Joan paused for a moment, and looked into Sally's eyes.
"David still has his problems, but he's coming home for a while and we'll see if we can patch him up a bit." Joan then reached for her coat, and as Sally helped her put it on, she turned and said;
"David was here today."
"He was here?" Gasped Sally, her eyes widening.
"Yes, I saw him standing under an oak tree."
Joan noticed the spark in Sally's blue eyes immediately, and smiled warmly at her.
"It's so strange. You never know when love comes calling. Sometimes you don't even recognise it, when it's there. You must reach out, Sally and take what your heart desires."
After Joan had left, Sally called Jonathan, Laura, and Penny together in the front room.
"Today is the start of a wonderful adventure for all of us. Yesterday has gone, now it's all new beginnings. We must all be strong and meet whatever life throws at us. We are a family, and we will grow and continue. We will recover from this and get stronger. We will never forgot your father, and the love he gave us, but now we only have his memory and we have to move on." Sally then went and kissed each of her children on the cheek, before turning back to her youngest.
"Penny, pour everyone a glass of wine. I think we need one."
15. LAURA
1983
Laura breathed a sigh of relief as she pushed the wheelchair into the centre of the ward, applied the brakes then placed a blanket over the elderly gentleman's knees. She had only two more patients to get washed, dressed and ready to attend clinic appointments, before she could go for a well-earned coffee break and relax for twenty minutes or so.
That morning had been especially busy on Lister ward for the elderly, where Laura was currently allocated. Two new student nurses had just started and were still trying to familiarise themselves with everything, then one of the trained staff had called in sick, and to top that, a patient had died! It wasn't a good start to the day, and Sister Wilcox wasn't amused.
Laura returned to Ivy, and poking her head through the curtains, asked the old lady if she had finished on the commode.
"No, I haven't. It's all rush, rush, rush with you girls nowadays. Come back in five minutes!"
Laura apologised and went to help one of the new students who she was working alongside, to lift a patient out of the bath. Another nurse was calling for help at the far end of the ward, while the telephone rang continuously in the empty office.
"Laura, the porter is here to take Daisy over to X-ray. Is she ready yet?" Called out Sister, as she replaced an over-flowing laundry sack.
"Almost, but we seem to have run out of pads!" Replied Laura.
"Oh, not again!" Cursed Sister, struggling with the heavy sack. "Can you go down to Remington-Hobbs Ward, and ask if we can borrow some. I would send one of the new girls, but they'd probably get lost!
"
"Yes, I'll go straight away," replied Laura, removing her starched, white apron. She then hurried down the stairs to the next floor, feeling quite relieved to finally get away from the unbearably warm ward, even if it was just for a few minutes. As she waited for the pads, Laura noticed a girl from her training group wave and begin to walk towards her.
"Hello Laura, I thought it was you on the coach this morning, which ward are you on?" Asked Tina, looking pleased to see her colleague.
"I'm up on Lister, I've just come for some incontinence pads. So when did you start down here?"
"Only a few days ago. I didn't realise geriatric nursing was such hard work!"
"Yes, it can be back-breaking, but it's just as bad upstairs." Laughed Laura, before whispering; "You're lucky, at least you haven't got Sister Wilcox down here to contend with."
"Oh, I've heard about her, is she really that bad?" Asked Tina, turning to go back to her work. "You can tell me over coffee, besides, there's something I wanted to ask you. I'll see you in the canteen."
Laura wondered what it was that she wanted to ask her, as she stepped out of the lift, struggling with the enormous box of pads. It was then that she heard a voice.
"You like to come with me?"
"I'm sorry, replied Laura, a little mystified.
"X-ray - you like to come too?" Repeated the porter, as he stood staring at her in tight, leather trousers.
"No, Roberto, I'll send one of the new girl's," Interrupted sister. "You can show her where X-ray is, if you would be so kind."
"Yes, I can show her, that's no problem." Replied the porter in a thick Spanish accent, trying to hide his disappointment at not having the pretty blonde nurse to accompany him.
"Don't be getting up to any of your little tricks!" Glared Sister Wilcox sternly, before going over to help Laura with the box.
Between them, they carried the pads into the sluice, where Sister quite surprised Laura with what she was about to say.
"You've done wonders with Ivy since you've been here, Laura. The poor old soul wouldn't speak to anyone at first, let alone have someone to help feed and dress her."
"I'm sure she would have, given enough time," replied Laura modestly.
"No, I don't think so. You're a very good nurse. I can see it in you, but you can get even better. There are two important rules in nursing, that you'd do well to adhere to. Firstly, you must learn to prioritise, secondly, you must never make patients totally dependent on you. That second rule doesn't apply quite so much in this type of nursing, but it's something you should always be aware of."
"Yes, Sister, I'll bear that in mind."
"You'll make mistakes sure enough, it's inevitable, just like I did when I was a student nurse like you. I went and mixed everybody's false teeth together in a bowl! Just make sure none of your mistakes are fatal ones. Check everything a second time, and don't take everything your colleagues say as the truth. Double check. Do you understand?"
"Thank-you, Sister," beamed Laura. She was beginning to get attached to the experienced, mature nurse. Although she was one of the old school, and had a fearsome reputation for being a bit of a dragon, she was very fair and did possess a sharp, and often crude sense of humour.
"Now, off you go and enjoy a well-earned break." Smiled the woman with over thirty years of nursing etched into her lined face. Laura thanked her again, but as she was about to go, Sister called her back; "Don't worry about Ivy, I've already taken her off the commode - priorities Nurse Peddlescoombe, remember!"
The canteen was only a couple of minutes walk away from the ward, and involved a short detour through the hospital's beautifully maintained gardens. Here, during the warmer weather, patients, and staff on their lunch-breaks could sit out and enjoy the tranquil surroundings, and forget they were in the centre of a bustling city.
As Laura made her way along the narrow path, she noticed a porter ahead of her, returning a breakfast trolley to the kitchen. She increased her pace and stepped out onto the grass in order to pass him. As she did so, one of the trolley's side panels flew open, and out fell several bowls of half-eaten porridge. One of the bowls landed at her feet, bounced erratically, before emptying its contents over Laura's shoes.
The young porter was very apologetic, and immediately bent down with a paper towel, and tried to remove as much porridge as he could.
"I'm really sorry, I can't believe I just did that." He said, staring into the nurse's deep blue eyes. "It's the path you see, it's too bumpy!" He exclaimed, looking quite embarrassed.
"It's alright, if it were only porridge that landed on my feet while I was here, I'd be quite pleased!" Replied, Laura, seeing the funny side of the situation.
He returned her cheery smile, and allowed her to continue, before scooping up the rest of the bowls and shoving them back into the trolley.
The canteen was an uninspiring flat, rectangular building containing several rows of fixed tables and chairs. It was all self-service and customers could sit where they wished. Laura looked around for anybody she might know, and as she was about to sit at an empty table, a hand suddenly waved over from the corner, and she immediately recognised the short black hair of Tina, sitting alone.
"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!" Remarked Tina, seeing the donut on Laura's plate.
Laura put her tray down and sat opposite her colleague.
"I'm sure I'll soon work it off on the ward! Looks like you need a few of these, have you lost weight, Tina?"
"My weight fluctuates. My mother was fat when she was young, so I really watch what I eat. But you're lucky, Laura, you've got the film star looks, the hair, the great figure. I'm just plain skinny."
Laura sensed a pang of jealousy and changed the subject to what had just happened outside.
"Oh, that's so funny. I bet you were annoyed though?" Giggled Tina.
"Yes, I was bit at first, but having cold porridge spilt over me was fairly typical of the day I've been having so far!"
"What did you say to him?"
"Nothing really, I needed a new pair of shoes anyway, and I suppose this was a good reminder. But he seemed quite a nice chap, and not bad looking either!" Laura, then turned, and glanced over at another table. "Look, that's him sitting down with that seedy-looking bloke in the leather trousers."
"Yes, I see what you mean, he is rather handsome isn't he?" Gawped Tina, open-mouthed, before suddenly averting her eyes, and quickly looking back to Laura.
"What is it Tina, what's the matter?"
"Don't look over, but that funny-looking one saw me staring, and now he's blowing kisses at me!"
Laura laughed, and took a sip of her coffee.
"So what was it that you wanted to ask me?"
"Oh, it's nothing really, I just wanted to ask what your home telephone number was, that's all."
Laura looked puzzled. They were colleagues certainly, and both were student nurses training at the same hospital, albeit in different sets, but they could not be classified as friends.
"Do you mean my home number in Twickenham, Tina?"
"That's right, it's for my mother, Pauline. Do you remember that conversation we had a while ago about universities?"
"Oh, yes, that's right. We found out that both our mothers went to the same university, twenty odd years ago." Replied Laura, warily.
"Well my mother now keeps going on about meeting yours. They must have been really good friends back in those days?"
Laura was beginning to regret telling Tina where she lived. It was not that she didn't like her colleague, but it was more out of some hidden sense of duty to protect her mother. It was becoming clear to Laura that no good would come of this.
It was common knowledge that Tina had psychological problems. What they were, nobody knew, but at times it had been a major struggle for her to get through her course. She was frequently off sick, and her terrible screaming and nightmares during the night had caused several of the other residents in the nurses home to put in formal
complaints.
Laura had once tried to befriend Tina, when they had worked on a medical ward together, but she had found it too much of a strain. In many cases, people who have suffered severe trauma will seek out caring professions, like nursing, and Laura, still coming to terms with her father's death, felt that she may be able to talk to Tina about her difficulties. However, Tina had been rather off-hand with her, and in not so many words had told Laura to mind her own business. Since then, they had only really chatted together, just the once, and that must have been the time, Tina meant.
"Look, Tina, I'll have to ask my mother first. She hasn't been very well lately, and I don't want to add to her problems, if you can understand that?" Said Laura, hoping this would satisfy Tina, and the matter would be dropped.
At last the clock reached a quarter to five, and Laura was finally able to go off duty. It had been a frantic day, and she longed for a nice, relaxing soak in a cool bath. Her mind hadn't been fully on her work since the chat with Tina, and now she just wanted to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible. Hurrying into the small, stuffy cupboard, that was known as the locker room, Laura kicked off her scuffed black shoes with a determined effort, and put them into a carrier bag. Then, changing into a light, cotton dress and brushing her hair, she applied a token gesture of make-up. She was almost ready, there was just her sandals, which she pulled out from her handbag, before stuffing her pale, blue nurse's dress in with her shoes, and fleeing out into the warm, spring sunlight. Laura didn't have a locker, since these were for the regular staff on the ward, and being a student, passing through, she didn't qualify.
