by M. Malone
Just as he’d expected, her expression brightened. “Really? Okay, I’ll get everything together and bring it over. You go ahead home and take some medicine. Maybe a cold compress will help.” She brushed a hand against his cheek before gathering the folders containing the new clients’ contracts.
Once she was gone, Eli walked back through the maze of cubicles to his office on the west side of the building. Even though he was here at least once a week, most of the employees didn’t see him often. He was greeted with a chorus of “Hello, Mr. Alexander” and “Good morning, sir.”
He nodded hello to everyone he passed but sped up so no one would try to talk to him. It was still a bit surreal to think that he was leading this diverse group of people. He’d started the company in the midst of personal crisis. It had been a lifeline when he was drowning. Carly probably thought it was an excuse, but he did like to look over every case personally. It was his way of saying thank you. His way of giving back to the company that had saved him.
He grabbed a client file he’d left on his desk and then walked to the elevators. Another pang shot him right between the eyes and he grimaced. It was going to take more than a few aspirin to get rid of this headache, especially since he was sure Carly was going to bring him more paperwork to look over later.
He stabbed the Down button several times impatiently. The woman waiting there gave him a sideways glance and moved over slightly. He sighed.
Now he was scaring his employees.
After a long day, Eli was always happy to go home, but never more so than the days he spent at headquarters handling administrative work. Although home was a relative term for him as he rarely spent the night in the same location more than two days in a row.
His company maintained several houses and condos in the Washington D.C. area, which they used to keep clients safe. He usually crashed at one of them or in his office. However, he had to admit to harboring a particular affection for the little house he kept in the suburbs. It was the only one he didn’t allow clients to use.
He guessed that made it as close to a home as he’d had in the past decade.
He rode the elevator down to the first parking level and managed to avoid seeing anyone on the way. He threw the client file on the passenger seat of his truck and then pulled out of the garage and onto the bustling streets of Fairfax.
Today what he needed was a beer and some peace and quiet. Carly kept the different houses stocked with the basics, so he figured he could take a load off and maybe order in. When his cell phone rang as soon as he pulled up to his Springfield house, he figured the second part of the equation would have to wait.
“Hi, Mom. How are things going back home?” Eli locked his truck with the remote on his keychain as he walked up to the house and opened the door.
“Oh, I’m just fine, honey. I saw the news. It looks like you have your hands full.”
“I do, but you don’t need to worry. People are riled up right now. But once congress has voted on the bill, things will slow down some. Tensions are always high this time of year.” He kicked the door shut behind him and flipped the deadbolt.
She sighed, the sound coming over the phone and directly into his ear. “I know you’ve always had things well in hand; I just get worried about you, that’s all. You work too much.”
“I like working—you know that. Besides, I’ll be home in a few weeks anyway.”
“Good. I can’t wait to spoil you a little bit. It’ll be nice to have you back home. Things haven’t been the same since you left.” She fell silent on the other end of the phone.
“Is everything all right? Is Dad still having those chest pains?” Eli tensed, waiting for her answer. His mother had mentioned his father having chest pains on his last call and the thought of it had never been far from his mind.
His father had always been larger-than-life. This was the man who’d taught him how to ride his bike and given him the facts about the birds and the bees. The thought of anything happening to his dad made him feel ice-cold all over. Mark Alexander represented everything that held his family together. If there was something wrong, he wanted to know about it.
“No, it’s nothing like that. We just miss you. I’m getting sentimental in my old age, that’s all.”
“You don’t look any older than you did when we were kids, and you know it,” he said, relieved when she laughed. He hated to hear her sound so depressed. His mom had always been the cheerful sort. It went against the natural order of things for her to sound so down.
“I just wish you were here already,” Julia continued. “I’ve been worried about you. Working so hard, sleeping so little. I know you want to succeed and I’m so proud of you. But I also want more for you than just work. You’re letting life pass you by, and I think it’s time you face things head-on.”
Eli gripped the edge of his cell phone as her words sank in. “There’s nothing to face. I just need a vacation, that’s all.”
“Maybe you can lie to yourself but not to your mother. I don’t know what sent you running all those years ago, but whatever it was cost me too. It made me lose my son. I think it’s time I got him back.”
An unexpected rush of emotion stole his voice, thickening his throat like he’d just swallowed a giant fist. He pushed back his shirtsleeve and stared at the tattoo he hated with a passion, a small number seven surrounded by several concentric circles.
In the beginning there was rarely a day that went by when he didn’t think about the things he’d done. His monumental mistakes. Then gradually he’d been able to go days, then weeks, and then finally months without flashbacks. He’d finally stopped looking over his shoulder every few steps, finally trusted someone else enough to invite them into his home.
His mother had no idea what he’d really been doing while he was “traveling the world.” Worse, she had no idea that something he’d witnessed happening to her had been the catalyst to send him into his personal hell in the first place.
“Elliott Alexander, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered automatically. He had to get this under control. His mother sounded worried, and when she was worried, she got crazy ideas like coming to visit him. He adored his mother, but he couldn’t have her here while he was in this mood.
“I’m doing fine, Mom. Seriously, I’ll be home next week. Time will fly and before you know it, I’ll be back under your feet again.”
She sighed and Eli knew he might have avoided the lecture for now, but she’d ambush him with it later.
KAY UNWRAPPED HER sandwich and took a bite as she opened her e-mail. She glanced around to make sure Nick was still ensconced in his office before pulling up the photo Ridley had sent her from Christmas. It was a picture of her and Eli, standing under the mistletoe. It must have been taken right after he’d kissed her. The look on his face was a mixture of lust and longing.
If Ridley hadn’t sent her the picture, she’d never have believed he could look like that.
After his abrupt departure following their kiss, she’d been through a gamut of emotions: hurt, embarrassment, despair, and finally anger.
She’d been pissed.
But ever since seeing the photo, her emotions had been in a blender. Everything around her was the same, but it was like viewing the world through tinted glass. Things took on new meaning through the lens of possibility.
The positive of the situation was the anger had finally pushed her to start making changes. She’d resolved to finally stand up to her mother, to share her music, and finally to get out more and start dating again. But if there was even a chance that Eli might want her, it made everything else fade into the background.
Her cell phone buzzed against the desk, making a clattering sound as it bumped around on the hard surface. Kay dropped her sandwich in her haste to pick it up.
“Oh, shoot.”
“What happened?” Her best friend, Sasha, sounded like she had a mouthful as well. She called Kaylee on her lunch break most
days, so she probably did.
“I just dropped my sandwich. It landed mainly on my lunch bag though, so I think it’s okay.”
A soft harrumph came over the line. “As long as it didn’t hit the floor, it’s fair game as far as I’m concerned. Food is too expensive to waste these days.”
Kay picked up her sandwich and shoved the turkey back between the bread. “You’re right about that. I’m not sure how I’m going to afford to feed Hope when she’s older and starts eating more.”
“I wish I lived closer. We could cook for each other. That’s what my sisters and I do. Brenna is making lasagna tonight and she’s going to bring half of it to me.”
Kay would kill for someone to make her half of anything. Especially lasagna. She’d learned to cook at her mom’s side, so she at least didn’t have to spend a lot of money on prepackaged food. She bought in bulk and always froze her leftovers so there was no waste, but it was still a lot of time and energy to cook everything from scratch.
“You’re not that far. Although I suppose driving over the bridge just to carry food back and forth is probably asking a lot.”
“Are you kidding? I’ll fight traffic if it means I don’t have to eat my own cooking every day. Your macaroni and cheese has ruined me for life.”
“At least I got you off that yucky boxed stuff.”
“Whatever. Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to hang out tonight. I was supposed to be going on a date, but he canceled. Remember that new guy I’m dating? I think I told you about Devin?”
Her friend had a tendency to collect boyfriends just like she collected snow globes. It was possible Sasha had mentioned him and Kaylee had just forgotten.
“Yeah, I think you told me about him. How’re things going?”
“Okay, he’s just the commitment-phobic type, I can tell. But God, he’s hot.”
“I hope this one doesn’t look like a felon. That last guy you introduced me to was a little scary.”
“Yeah, he was.” Sasha was silent for a moment and all Kay could hear was the soft crunch as she bit into something. “Speaking of tall, dark, and scary, have you heard when Eli’s coming home?”
Kay’s appetite immediately diminished. “No. Ridley said he hasn’t told them a date. So I guess he’s in no hurry.”
“Sorry, sweetie. I know you were hoping—”
“I’m not hoping for anything. Because that would be stupid. As a matter of fact, I think us hanging out tonight is a great idea. Why don’t you bring a movie or something and we can veg out after Hope’s asleep?”
“That works for me. I’m getting off early today anyway. We’ve been working way too hard and I need a mental-health day. Basically, I need a get-me-out-of-here-before-I-bitchslap-somebody day.”
“Isn’t that pretty much your normal state of being over there? You can come by here and pick up my spare key if you want.”
Since she didn’t know any of her neighbors, Kay had decided to leave a spare key at the office. She spent most of her time at work or at the studio, so if she lost her main set of keys, it was easiest to have the spare somewhere she could easily get to it.
She pulled open the third drawer on her desk and shoved a few highlighter markers and a random receipt to the side. When her hand hit the key immediately, she leaned down and peered closer. She’d always put the key all the way in the back. She shrugged and pulled it out. It must have shifted around due to all the junk she kept in that drawer.
“Okay, I’ll do that. I’ll stop by the store and get some popcorn, too. That low-fat kind you buy is gross,” Sasha added.
“Whatever.”
Kay’s smile faded as her eyes were drawn back to the picture still open on her computer. It was tempting to get caught up in the fantasy of what could have been. This was how she’d always lived her life, caught up in the clouds and high on the possibilities. She’d always played by the rules, done the safe thing. The predictable thing. She looked down at her sandwich. She even ate the same thing every day for lunch.
But she wasn’t an impressionable young girl anymore. She was an independent woman. A mother. And the time for believing in fairy tales was gone. She clicked the x in the upper-right-hand corner of the picture to close it.
And dumped the last of her sandwich in the trashcan.
THE DOORBELL RANG and Eli jumped. “Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you soon. Love you.”
“I love you too, my darling. I hope you know how much.”
Eli pocketed his cell phone as he walked from the kitchen to the entryway. A faint shadow hovered behind the glass in the brand-new front door he’d just had installed. Part of his preparation for moving back home was selling his current place. He’d made a lot of upgrades to the house over the past few months, including new carpet upstairs, wood floors on the entire main level, and energy-efficient windows. Now that he saw the place looking so good, he wondered why he hadn’t done the improvements years ago. It seemed strange that he was doing all this work and wouldn’t even get to enjoy the results.
He tapped the screen of the iPad installed next to the front door and, with just the push of a button, brought up the camera feed for the front door. All you could see when you looked out the peephole was the front stoop, so his cameras showed a panoramic view of the entire front of the house, including the areas to the sides of the door where an assailant could hide.
Carly stood on the doorstep, carrying a box and several shopping bags. Eli suppressed a groan. He hadn’t thought she’d be there that fast. Apparently, they had different definitions of the word “later.” He took a deep breath and then opened the door.
“There you are! I was trying to call you on the way to ask if you wanted me to bring you lunch.” Carly pushed past him and strutted toward the kitchen. Eli followed and watched as she set the box and several letters on his kitchen counter. She dropped the shopping bags at her feet. “Having an assistant is useless if you don’t answer my calls.”
Eli held out his hand until she put the letters in his palm. “I was on the phone with my mom.”
Carly grabbed his wrist before he could pull his arm back. “You wouldn’t have answered anyway. You never do. I don’t understand why you’re being like this. We’re good together.” She came around the side of the counter and slipped under his arm. When their chests brushed together, she let out a soft sigh. “We’re really good together. Not just anyone can give you what you need.”
Her brown eyes were luminous as she gazed up at him hopefully. He let his eyes flow over her, the long dark hair, the sun-kissed skin courtesy of her Trinidadian ancestry. She was exotically beautiful and didn’t have an inhibited bone in her body. He had no doubt she would do anything he asked of her. Anything. But the thing he needed most wasn’t something she could give him.
Because as beautiful as she was, hers wasn’t the face he pictured when he closed his eyes at night.
Eli pried her hand off his arm, squeezing until she loosened her grip. Her lashes fluttered and she looked up at him flirtatiously. “Mmm, yes. You always make it hurt so good.”
He dropped her arm and stepped back. “I’ll sign this stuff and bring it back later.”
She pursed her lips in a well-practiced pout. “Fine. But I need those contracts signed before the end of the day. They’re already late.”
“Late. End of the day. Got it.” He followed behind her as she walked out.
She stepped onto the porch and then swiveled on the heel of one of her extremely high, red-as-blood stilettos. “You can’t avoid me forever. Some things are inevitable. You and I, we’re the same. We need the same things. So whatever’s going on with you, fix it.” She pulled the collar of her jacket up and then strutted down the stairs to where her car was parked in the driveway.
Eli closed the door behind her and flipped the deadbolt. Carly had no idea how good he was at avoidance. If she was waiting on him to give in, he could only hope she wasn’t holding her breath.
After a hot shower and sev
eral aspirin, Eli returned to the stack of mail on his counter. The first was a solicitation for money from his alma mater. He put that in the Keep pile since he usually tried to make a contribution several times a year. Next, he opened the smallest box. He pulled out the Wartenberg wheel and grinned.
He could imagine there was probably some confusion in the mailroom when they’d opened this one. He normally liked to buy his toys directly from a discreet shop in Georgetown, but he’d wanted to replace this quickly. Carly had broken the last one. Deliberately, he was quite sure.
Eli tucked the box under his arm and walked back to his room. It was the only area in the house that he’d taken the time to decorate. With deep plush carpet and midnight-blue walls, it was a sensual haven. He’d chosen white curtains to lighten it up slightly, but everything else in the room was a deep jewel tone. The color palette reflected his personality, he thought. Nothing was too bright or showy. It was a room for introspection and meditation. He looked up at the mirrors installed over the bed. And sex.
Hair-pulling, backbreaking, mind-numbing sex.
He crossed to the closet and pulled it open. “Hello, beautiful.” Everything he needed to torment a woman into mindless pleasure lined the walls. He eyed the first row of vibrators—small ones, big ones, and waterproof ones.
Yes, he could do a lot of damage with those.
The second row held his instruments. Nipple clamps, feather dusters, clothespins, and zip ties lined the shelves. He pulled out his replacement Wartenberg wheel and placed it carefully on the shelf.
He couldn’t imagine not wanting to make a woman beg or not wanting to control each and every aspect of her response. Watching that moment, when a woman looked at him with absolute and complete trust, it was better than a drug. He needed to feel that instant when they gave themselves over to his inevitable possession. Without it, sex was mechanical. An act between two bodies as opposed to the union of two people.
Sensation play was something he’d gotten into by accident. He hadn’t been looking for a “lifestyle,” but he’d happened to date a woman who was heavily into BDSM. To Elliott’s surprise, his natural tendencies in the bedroom were apparently hard to find and in high demand. For him, it was just a natural part of his personality.
