by M. Malone
Kay thought back to him standing next to his closet, jeans low on his hips. He was perfect naked. Like a marble statue come to life. It was already intimidating to take her clothes off in front of him, but now she had to worry about all the other stuff he might want to do. Stuff she wasn’t sure she could handle.
How could she ever compete with someone like Carly? She wasn’t even sure what half that stuff was used for and was more than a little freaked out by the items she had recognized.
“You’re right. I’m going to try to talk to him about it. Although the thought is already embarrassing. Maybe I’ll cook up some chili and then if the conversation is too embarrassing, I can claim I have heartburn and leave the table.”
“Chili?”
“Yeah, it’s supposed to snow later today. So I figured I’d make chili or maybe some kind of stew.”
“Hmm, girl that is not sex food. That’s a little gassy, isn’t it?”
Kay giggled. “That’s why I love you. Always practical.”
“I know. I miss you, Kay. We’ve never gone this long without seeing each other.”
“I miss you, too. But I’m coming back home tomorrow morning. Eli just told me. So meet me at my parents’ house for lunch. I can’t wait to see you and catch up. I feel like I’ve been hidden away in a cave for the past few weeks.”
“Yes, but you’re in the cave with a sexy guy. So get off the phone with me and go talk to him. The sooner you talk, the sooner you two can make up and then he can show you some of his freaky stuff. And if you don’t want him, send him my way.”
“Sasha!”
“Just kidding. Or not. Bye!”
Kay hung up, still chuckling. She glanced at the time. Maybe if she started now she could come up with something suitably sexy for a romantic dinner. Sasha was right. They needed to talk, and she was ready to hear what he had to say with an open mind.
KAY DIDN’T HAVE long to obsess over things. A few minutes later Hope woke up, so she spent the rest of the morning entertaining the baby. When Eli emerged from his room around lunchtime, she was too embarrassed to look at him or even try to engage him in conversation. He’d looked at her cautiously and then gone into the dining room with his laptop. She could hear him clicking away, typing on the keyboard.
She chewed on her thumbnail and then scowled at the ragged edge. That was a habit she’d broken back in high school. But she was completely nervous, and there was no point pretending otherwise. Despite Sasha’s early-morning pep talk, she still hadn’t come up with a way to approach Eli about what she’d seen. Sasha seemed to think she should play it cool and act like a closet full of sex toys wasn’t at all intimidating.
Although it probably wasn’t to a lot of women. Women more sophisticated than her, obviously. She thought of Carly and scowled again.
She could talk about this rationally. It might be slightly awkward and embarrassing, but she could do it.
“Mama. Want more?” Hope waved her sippy cup in front of Kaylee. She grabbed her and planted kisses all over her face.
“Mommy’s not much fun today, is she? I’m sorry,” she whispered. She’d been so preoccupied thinking about Eli that she’d just been sitting in the play area in a daze. Resolved not to think about it anymore until that evening, she got up to refill Hope’s cup with juice.
Eli stood in the doorway watching them. When she caught sight of him, she stumbled. He sprang forward, picking her up and lifting her over the gate. As soon as she had her footing again, he stepped back.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You didn’t. I’m just clumsy, that’s all.” Kay avoided his eyes and walked into the kitchen. Hope’s giggle floated from the living room. She leaned back until she could see into the room. Eli was in the play area with Hope, dancing around and making silly faces.
She turned back to the refrigerator and pulled out the apple juice. The steaks she’d taken from the freezer to thaw that morning didn’t look as though they’d be ready on time.
She sighed. She might have to go with chili for dinner, gassy or not. Sasha would be appalled.
“Wait, don’t climb on that… Oh shit!”
Kay turned from the open refrigerator in time to see Eli dive forward and the bookcase fall on top of him.
“Oh my God! Eli, are you okay?” She dropped the sippy cup and ran back to the living room.
The bookcase lay on top of Eli’s back. He wasn’t flat on the ground however, but up on his arms.
“Kay, grab the baby.”
Her eyes almost bugged out of her head when she saw Hope’s face peek out from under Eli’s arm.
“Hope!” She dashed forward and pulled her daughter from under the shelter of Eli’s body. As soon as she stepped back, Eli dropped to the ground and the bookcase fell flat against him. He then rolled to his side and edged out from under it.
Kay watched, stunned, as he stood and shook himself off. His shirt had a dark smudge on it and there was now a long scratch on his arm. A small drop of blood welled up and then smeared when he wiped at it.
“Is she okay? I didn’t fall on her, did I?” Eli walked closer and looked Hope over from head to toe.
Still in shock, Kay couldn’t even speak, so she just did the first thing that came into her mind.
She hugged him.
He stood, stiff and unyielding, in her embrace for a moment before his arms came up and around her back. Hope stuck her fingers in her mouth and then looked up at Eli. Then she patted his cheek with her damp hand. He burst out laughing.
“I guess she’s okay then.”
Kay lifted her head and looked up at him. “I think she knew she was safe the whole time.”
Eli disappeared through the door leading to the garage. Kay sat on the couch, Hope still clutched in her arms. So many conflicting emotions raced through her mind. It was irrational, but she wasn’t ready to put Hope down yet. Her eyes went back to the overturned bookcase and she closed her eyes and hugged her daughter tighter.
A few minutes later, he came back with a drill and a small toolbox. Kay watched from the couch as he pushed the bookcase back up against the wall. The picture frames and candles that had fallen off the shelves he set to the side in small piles.
“It’s a good thing there wasn’t much on this bookcase,” he said. Then he rummaged in his toolbox.
The loud sound of the drill made Hope jump. She turned to Kaylee and pointed.
Eli turned and saw her pointing. “I’m making a lot of noise aren’t I, princess? But I need to make sure this room is safe for you.”
He drilled inside the bookcase on the left side and then the right. He did this on the second to last shelf and then the middle one. After that, he pulled on the bookshelf to see if it would move. Once satisfied, he picked up his toolbox and the drill and carried them back to the garage. He came back in and stepped carefully over the gate, then sat next to Kay on the couch.
“I’m really sorry, Kay.”
Shocked, she stared at him. “Sorry? For what? You just saved her from being seriously hurt.”
“It’s my fault she almost got hurt in the first place. I should have blocked off an area that didn’t have stuff she might try to climb. Or bolted that bookcase to the wall as soon as you got here.”
Kay shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Eli. You don’t have children. I wouldn’t expect you to know about child safety hazards.”
“You don’t have to be a parent to know that bookcases are heavy and that a baby can’t resist trying to climb everything in sight,” he said.
Kay regarded him silently. This was the kind of man who took the care and shelter of everyone around him personally. He considered it his duty to help and protect others. Was that the kind of guy she needed to be afraid of? In any way?
Her heart sang out a resounding No.
“I think you’re amazing. Thank you.” She didn’t qualify her statement or explain anything else, just rested her head on his shoulder.
“No thanks are needed. I would never let anything hurt you or Hope.”
She smiled against his shoulder, even though he couldn’t see her. He’d unwittingly just made her decision for her. No matter how scary things might seem, Eli would never harm her. He wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want him to do.
If only she knew exactly what that was.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ELI WATCHED KAY from the corner of his eye as she stirred the pot of soup she’d made for dinner. Every few minutes her eyes would drift over to him. He could feel the heat of her gaze on his back, but when he looked up, she’d glance away. She clearly wasn’t ready to talk about things yet, but at least when she looked at him now it wasn’t with the shocked disgust he’d seen in her eyes earlier. It was with confusion. With questions.
It was only a matter of time before she got around to asking him whatever was on her mind.
Eli sat on the living room floor playing with Hope. Every time he tried to leave, Hope followed him to the gate and held up her arms. The bookcase falling had really scared her, and he blamed himself for the oversight. Even though he didn’t have children, he knew that bookcases were a safety risk. He should have bolted it to the wall the first day they were here. That kind of lapse could lead to a serious injury. Hope toddled over to him and handed him one of her alphabet blocks.
“This is an A. For apple,” he recited.
She clapped her hands, her eyes dancing with glee. “Abba!”
His heart turned over in his chest as she toddled over and brought him another block. When he took it, she patted his cheek as if congratulating him on a job well done.
“You know exactly how to wrap me around your little finger, don’t you?” Eli tickled her under the chin.
Kay appeared at the edge of the gated area. “Dinner’s ready.” She lifted Hope over the gate and placed her in her booster seat at the table.
“It smells great, Kay. Thank you.” He smiled at her and then took his seat next to hers.
“You’re welcome.” She ladled soup into both of their bowls. For Hope, she’d saved some of the chicken and diced it. She also gave her some cooked carrots she could eat with her fingers.
They ate in relative silence except for Hope’s random squeals. Afterward, they cleaned up the kitchen together while Hope played unaware in the background. He wiped off the counters and the table while she packaged up the leftover soup and put it in the refrigerator.
She took a seat at the table. Eli sat, too, choosing to remain quiet. It was obvious she was working up the nerve to say something.
“Do you hurt them?” She looked down at her lap before continuing. “The women you use those things on, I mean.”
Eli froze, his hand suspended over the table. He slowly set his drink down again. “It depends on what they want.”
“Who wants to be hurt?” There was no vitriol in her voice, just pure curiosity. Kay twisted her hands together in her lap. “I’m not trying to pry. I’m just trying to understand.”
“I know. It’s not the kind of thing that’s easily explained.” He reached over and picked up her hand. She tensed and then allowed him to lace his fingers through hers.
“There are some sensations that you can’t understand unless you’ve experienced them.” He drew his finger down the delicate skin on her inner arm. She glanced at him, a quick flash of her eyes before she fixated on her lap again.
“Experienced?”
His finger continued its trek from her inner arm to her wrist. She had small hands, the contrast between their sizes more noticeable as he held her hand cradled in his. Not wanting to shock her out of the moment, he continued his gentle massage of her wrist. When she let out a soft breath, he stroked his thumb into the center of her palm.
“Oh, I… what are you doing?” Kay tried to pull her hand back, but Eli encircled her wrist and held fast.
“Just wait.”
He continued his path, digging his thumb deeper, massaging the fleshy skin from the center of her palm to the crease between her thumb and forefinger. Once her hand relaxed again, he dragged his nails over the heart of her palm. She let out a soft moan and then snatched her hand away.
He didn’t try to hold on this time. After a few moments, Eli asked, “Did I hurt you?”
Kay nodded and then shook her head. “Not really. Maybe a little.”
“But it felt good in a way, too. Didn’t it?”
She stared at him for a long moment before dipping her head. “Yeah. It did.”
The rest of the evening passed agonizingly slowly. They both took seats on the couch and took turns playing with Hope. Kay disappeared around eight o’clock to bathe the baby and get her ready for bed. The television was on in the background, but he couldn’t have named a single one of the shows that played to save his life.
Would she go to her room alone and shut the door? Or would she come back and see where things might lead? Would she trust him to take her to a new place?
When he looked up and saw Kay standing in the doorway, wringing her hands uncertainly, his heart leaped.
“Good show?” she asked, nodding at the television.
“I have no idea.”
She let out a small, surprised laugh. “I’m glad it’s not just me who’s feeling a little awkward about this.”
“It’s definitely not just you.” He held out a hand, relieved when she walked forward and grabbed it. “Let’s just sit for a while.”
“No.”
He flinched, startled at the suddenly vehement tone of her voice.
“I want to go to your room.” She glanced behind her nervously. “I want you to show me… everything. I want to pretend for just a little while that I’m sexy enough to know how to use that stuff.”
He stood then and came around the couch to hold her in his arms. “It’s not about being sexy. Knowing or doing certain things doesn’t make you sexy. It’s your attitude. It’s that stubborn tilt to your chin when you stand up to me and give me hell. That’s sexy. All the rest is just a little fun and games.”
She eyed him, a sudden gleam in her eyes. “Well then, teach me how to play a game.”
His blood heated as he imagined her spread on his bed, all her lush curves his to tease and torture. “You want to play?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “I want to try. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Not possible. Just being with you is satisfaction enough. Looking at you, touching you.” He ran his hands up her arms. “I wasn’t sure if you’d allow me anywhere near you after this morning.”
He took her by the hand and together they walked back to his room. She glanced back at him once before her hand curled around the doorknob. Then she pushed it open and stepped into the room. He’d left the small lamp next to the bed burning, so most of the room was in shadow.
“First thing, I want to show you something.” He took her hand and led her to the closet. “On the left wall, there’s a panel here. When you put in the right code, it opens the door to the panic room. I want you to come here immediately if the alarm ever goes off and you don’t know where I am. Come here and stay here until I come get you.”
“Okay. What’s the code?”
He slid open the closet doors, just enough so the left wall was visible. She tensed as several rows of vibrators appeared. But she didn’t move back. He glanced at her before typing in the code, 1-2-2-5. A small panel in the wall slid open. He typed the code again and it slid closed.
“Twelve twenty-five?”
“Christmas Day,” he clarified.
Her eyes softened. “The first time we kissed. That’s a good code. I definitely won’t forget that one.”
“I’ll never forget it either.” He stepped back and slid the doors to the closet closed.
Once the contents were covered up again, Kay visibly relaxed. She crossed to the bed and sat down on the edge, then peeked up at him with a mischievous smile. “I feel like I’m not supposed to be in here.”
He grinned at her. “You can go anywhere you want to go. Why don’t you lie back?”
When she did, she let out a small gasp.
He climbed up on the bed next to her and reclined, looking up at their reflection on the ceiling. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you’d noticed this last time. The closet had all your attention, so I figured this wasn’t a top priority.”
She turned to him and buried her face in his shoulder. “I like this part,” she whispered.
“Oh yeah? My angel secretly likes the idea of watching? What a bad girl.”
She peeked up at the mirrors again. “I do. I really really do.”
He rolled over and propped himself above her. “Well, I’m happy to provide some entertainment for your viewing pleasure.”
KAY STRETCHED LANGUIDLY, loving the way her body sank into the mattress and even more how she was trapped by the weight of Eli on top of her.
“I’m going to do some things to you, angel. Dirty things. Shocking things. Things that good girls don’t do. Are you okay with that?” Eli raised his head from where he’d been nuzzling her neck to look at her.
Kay shivered at the stark, raw need reflected in his eyes. How heady, how thrilling to know that she pushed him to the brink of insanity. That she put that look on his face. That fierce, possessive look that told her he’d do anything to have her. To take her.
It was madness. It was thrilling and primal and wild. She loved every minute of it.
“I don’t want to be good when I’m with you. I want to feel. And I want to make you feel things, too.”
His arms slipped under her shoulders, holding her caged in his embrace. He was huge and hard between her thighs.
“I’m pretty sure you already know that I feel a hell of a lot when I’m with you.”
She wrapped her legs around his hips, thrilled at his sudden hiss of breath. “Good. I want to be the one who drives you crazy.”
Her words were cut off when he kissed her, a rough dance of tongues and lips, hands and hips. Her skin heated and she pulled the edges of his shirt up frantically. He needed to be naked. Skin. She needed to feel his skin.
