Poseidon drew himself up. “So be it,” he said. “I have tried to apologize for my actions, but I will not grovel before you. Keep your new form, Medusa, and may you have the best of luck,” he glanced at a terrified statue, “with your hunts.”
He strode out of the cave, proud of himself for keeping his temper in line despite her slurs. Surely she would come to her senses eventually and petition Athena to change her back into a human. Surely she wouldn’t actually prefer to be a monster with death-dealing eyes than lie with him.
Surely she would return. It would simply be a matter of time.
Chapter Nine
“But she never did,” Poseidon said, lost in thoughts of the past. “And then Perseus slew her. Until then, I had hopes that she would change her mind eventually and come back to us. After that, however, all hope was gone. Both my agapetos were lost to me, Amphitrite as much as Medusa.”
At some point during Poseidon’s explanation an incongruously bald, elegant mer had swum in soundlessly with a sealed flagon and what looked like a pair of deflated bulbs. He’d decanted wine from the flagon into each bulb, swelling it into an oval shape and handing one each to Poseidon and Griffin.
Griffin had held his wine bulb without sampling it throughout Poseidon’s monologue. He glanced at it now, as if it could provide answers. “Why are you telling me all this?”
What was the human phrase? Oh, yes—rip the bandage off. “Because, Griffin, it turns out that you were Medusa in a past life,” Poseidon said quietly. “You were meant to be agapetos to Amphitrite and me. But in my drunken lechery I raped your former self. For fear of being forced into my bed again, Medusa chose to become one of the most fearsome monsters the world has ever seen, and was slain by Perseus as a result. Amphitrite has never forgiven me for it, and has barely spoken to me since.”
Griffin stared at him, then at the wine bulb again. Then held up a “wait” finger as he stuck the bulb’s straw in his mouth and drained it.
After a very large final swallow he said, “Shit. The weird thing is, that explains a lot. Why I love the sea so much, why I keep dreaming about being Medusa. Why I want to jump you when I’ve never wanted a bloke before in my life. Oh, fuck me.”
Poseidon knew the last part wasn’t an invitation. He stayed quiet while his mate worked through the mountain of new information that had just been dumped on him.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Griffin finally said. “I mean, if I was Medusa in a past life, does that mean I’m still your agawhatsis?”
“Agapetos, and yes, you are, to both Amphitrite and myself.”
Griffin nodded at that. “Except that she’s not talking to you anymore, is she? Fuck, Dunn, why did you do that?”
“To Medusa? I have no excuse,” Poseidon said heavily. “I was drunk and wanted her. And in my drunkenness I thought she wanted me.” He took a mouthful of his wine, wishing it could ease the bitterness in his gut. “I was far too arrogant and full of my own self-importance. Even after Amphitrite left me, I couldn’t give Medusa the true and humble penitence she deserved.”
“And now?”
“Now I know I was wrong. I know the pain of being hated and feared by those I love. After seven thousand years I finally I understand that none of us, not even a god, can ruin someone’s life and not pay a price for it.” He stared at the bulb in his hand, unable to meet Griffin's gaze. “Now? I would do whatever she commanded to earn her forgiveness. I would sacrifice my own existence if it would restore her to life and her mortal form. I would do the same for you, Griffin. Gladly, I would crumble into dust if it meant you would live.”
“No,” Griffin snapped. “Dammit, I don’t want you to die. I don’t want either of us to die.”
The reminder of his love’s mortality was painful. “You will not die, beloved. I swore it,” Poseidon said, still staring at his wine bulb. “You will live, and I will bring you together with Amphitrite if it’s the last thing I ever do. She did nothing to deserve this pain and loss. She should be with you, not me.” His throat tightened. “And Gaia, she would love you so.”
“But it’s supposed to be the three of us.” Griffin's voice held both anger and a plaintive tone. “Dammit, Dunn. Look at me.”
Poseidon did, although he dreaded seeing the disgust that had to be in his agapetos’s eyes.
****
Griffin tried to make sense of what Poseidon had just told him. The god’s confession and apology was something he had never expected to hear. Worse, the drunken attack had happened to himself, albeit in another life. The idea of rape had always sickened him, and now he knew it wasn’t just a civilized reaction to a criminal assault.
What he did was horrible, there’s no getting around that. But he’s not trying to make excuses for himself. He knows he was wrong, and he admits it. And Christ, he’s been punished for it. Griffin couldn't even imagine being left on his own for thousands of years, tormented by endless grief and regret over something that could never be set right.
The question was, could he forgive Poseidon for something that had happened thousands of years in the past to a life he’d only seen in dreams? He wished he could talk to his former self, get some feedback from the handmaiden who had borne the brunt of the god’s sodden attack.
But that was, literally, a lifetime ago. I may have Medusa’s soul, but I’m also me. I can only do what I think is right.
Then he realized what he should have asked. “Why are you telling me all this now?”
Poseidon took a deep breath of seawater, his massive chest rising with the inhale. “Because I want you to know who you were, and what you mean to me. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
Griffin sensed something else underneath the words. “You want me to judge you.”
And now the god exhaled. “I suppose I do. And punish me, if you choose to do so. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave and never see me again.”
“Christ.” Griffin let his wine bulb sink to the couch so that he could rub his face. “I’m not Medusa, Dunn. At least, not anymore.”
“I know.”
“Don't get me wrong, I’m fucking horrified at what you did to her. And I don’t blame Amphitrite at all for leaving you.” He stared at the man he had fallen in love with, trying to reconcile Dunn the man with Poseidon the God. “But I don’t want to punish you. And if I’m not the same person I was, then neither are you.” He paused, listening for a cry of rage from the past, anything that would indicate he was doing the wrong thing.
There was nothing.
He nodded. “I have to ask you something, and I need the truth.”
Poseidon bowed his head. “I will tell you whatever you want to know.”
“Do you genuinely regret it?”
The god’s head snapped back up, eyes filled with remorse. “Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, I regret it, every second of every minute of every day for the past seven thousand years. I regret it so much, Griffin.”
Griffin steeled his heart against the agony in those blue eyes. “Will you ever do anything like that again? Not just to us, but anyone?”
“No.”
“Swear it to me. Swear by Gaia, just like Amphitrite did.”
Poseidon's fingers opened, digging into the fabric of the divan. “I swear by Gaia, Mother of All, that I will surrender my essence back to her before I ever take someone against their will. I will never touch either of you without your permission. You and Amphitrite are my world. Order me from you, and I’ll leave. Command me to perform the basest tasks for you, and I will do them with deepest gratitude. Allow me to stay with you, and I will never give you cause to regret it.”
Griffin swallowed, feeling the weight of the moment. “All right. I accept your oath, and I forgive you for what you did to my former self.” He leaned forward. “But I swear, if you ever do anything like that again I will personally ask Athena and whatever other gods I can round up to kick your ass all the way to Tartarus.”
It was impos
sible to see tears underwater, but Poseidon's blinking was indication enough. “Understood," he said roughly.
“Good.” Griffin picked up the wine bulb, then remembered it was empty. “So I’m the reincarnation of Medusa. And she was supposed to be with you and Amphitrite. That's why I’m so bloody attracted to you?”
The god looked abjectly grateful that he was changing the subject. “Yes. You are my agapetos, my destined mate, along with Amphitrite.”
“Three mates? Isn’t that kind of unusual?’
“Not really. Reproduction requires a man and a woman, but love takes many forms. Three mates isn’t the strangest by far.”
Well, that explains why things tanked with Miranda and Leilani. The idea of being in a three-way relationship was something straight out of one of those saucy erotic romance novels, intriguing and a bit worrying at the same time. And he couldn’t even say he was a stranger to the concept, having indulged in a few threesomes in the past. But they were always fun weekend things, and always with two women. To be married in effect to a man and a woman...
“Wait, what about Amphitrite? How is she going to feel about me coming back like this?” He waved a hand at his body. “I mean, I’m not exactly the person she fell in love with, am I?”
Poseidon shook his head. “To have you back has been her dearest wish.” His expression eased, turning appreciative. “And your current form is quite handsome, after all. She’ll be overjoyed, once she gets past the shock of it.”
A dark voice in the back of Griffin’s mind said not for long. The reality of the situation came back to him. It didn’t matter if he was supposed to be in a triad with a couple of gods. He was still mortal, and he was about to die.
He sighed, sagging back against the divan. “Dammit, this just isn’t fair.”
“I’m sorry,” Poseidon said, sounding contrite. “I know it’s a great deal for you to accept, but—”
“No, that’s not it. It isn’t fair that I find out about this now. Why couldn’t we have met a year ago, when I still felt decent and—” He stopped, feeling the pressure build behind his eyes. At least crying while underwater meant that the seawater carried away the tears. “I want more time with you. I want to meet Amphitrite.” He slammed a fist onto his thigh. “Fuck. It’s not fair!”
A hand wrapped around his, stilling it. “Calm yourself, beloved. I have a plan. I know someone who can heal you. My brother Chiron is searching for him now."
Griffin stopped breathing for a moment. There it was—the thing that had been floating in the back of his mind since Poseidon had revealed his true identity. The hope that somehow, the God of the Sea could get rid of the damned tumor in his head. “Chiron—wait, you mean the centaur? He’s your brother?”
“Half-brother, yes.”
Griffin remembered the family tree of the Greek pantheon was less tree and more kudzu vine. “You said searching. For who?”
“Apollo.”
Poseidon, Apollo, and Chiron, oh my. “I thought he was the sun god.”
“He’s also the god of healing. Unfortunately he’s also become quite the wanderer in the last few centuries, so it may take Chiron some time to find him.”
Griffin deflated a bit. “Time is something I don’t have.”
“Not on your own, no. But I can help sustain you until Chiron returns.”
“How?”
Poseidon hesitated. “Divine seed carries its own power,” he said. “Quite apart from turning our children with mortals into demigods and heroes, the substance itself is quite potent.” He took a deep breath. “And if it is placed inside a mortal body, its effects are beneficial, indeed. My son-in-law Ian survived an ilkothella bite for hours because he had been taking in Bythos and Aphros’s seed.”
Griffin wasn't sure, but he thought he saw the god blushing. Yeah, well, no one really wants to think about their kids doing the deed, I suppose.
And then the meaning of “seed” dropped. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. You’re talking about cum?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re saying if I,” he stumbled over the words, “take in divine seed...”
“It will sustain you, just as it sustained Ian,” Poseidon confirmed. “I don’t know if it will cure you, but it will halt the progression of your tumor and keep you alive until Chiron returns with Apollo.”
“Right. And when you say ‘taking in’—”
“I mean sex, yes,” Poseidon said patiently.
Griffin stared at the muscled god sitting next to him and wondered when his life had turned into a porn movie. “You do know I’m straight, right? I mean, yeah, I think you’re fucking gorgeous and I do want to jump you but—”
Poseidon held up a hand, and Griffin shut up. “I understand that you’ve never been penetrated by a man before, beloved,” the god said in a soothing tone. “But allow me to point out that many men, no matter what their orientation, quite enjoy being on the receiving end of anal intercourse. And I would, of course, take my time and make sure that you were ready at every stage before going further. Let me also point out that you do appear to find me physically attractive and have enjoyed my caresses. I would do my utmost to make sure that you enjoyed making love with me, as well. And it would all be in the service of keeping you alive.”
Despite the flapping panic coming from his sense of masculinity, Griffin had to admit that Poseidon had a point. It wasn't as if he hadn’t already endured numerous procedures, a number of them extremely unpleasant, in the name of surviving his cancer. Looking at it that way, getting buggered by a tall, handsome man whom he was already falling in love with was a huge improvement over getting irradiated or vomiting from drugs.
Another memory from the previous night zinged across his awareness. Poseidon was a tall, handsome, large man. Griffin suspected his mouth would have gone dry if he hadn’t been breathing water. This wouldn’t be the mild unpleasantness of a greased finger for a prostate exam. This would be a large, hard cock going up his arse. And it wasn’t as if he’d be getting off in the process, not with his floppy dick.
“How many times would we have to do it?” he asked.
“It depends on how well you take to my seed,” Poseidon admitted. “Obviously at least once, and then once you acclimatized to the act we would have to see what worked best. I suppose once a day is out of the question?”
“Not if I want to be able to sit down,” Griffin retorted. “Wait. I just thought—would blowjobs work?”
Poseidon looked startled. “Well, yes. It doesn’t matter how you take in my seed, just that you take it in.”
“Right.” Sucking cock had never been on his bucket list, but it sounded easier than letting the god ream out his rectum on a daily basis. “So, we have to have sex to keep me alive until Chiron can find Apollo. Okay, I can do that.”
Poseidon's expression cracked just a bit. “Does it really seem so horrible to you?” he said, sounding a bit hurt.
Griffin hesitated, then sighed. “No. It’s all just ... a bit much to take in, you know?”
The god’s brow furrowed. “I understand. And I wish there was some other way to do this.” He reached out and took Griffin’s hand. “I would prefer to wait until you truly came to desire me. But we don't have the time.”
For a moment Griffin saw the situation from Poseidon’s point of view. Faced with a reincarnated lover that he’d, to be blunt, raped, the god was now required to have not exactly enthusiastic sex with that lover in male form in order to keep him alive. I’m not the only one who’s uncomfortable here, am I?
He laughed briefly. “This is like the plot of a bad fanfic. Fuck or die.”
“I don't know what fanfic is, good or bad, but it’s a fair assessment.” Poseidon lifted Griffin's hand and turned it over, rubbing his thumb over the palm. The simple caress sent tingles up Griffin’s arm. "For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I wanted you to come to me willingly. Not like this, not compelled. I swore I would never do that again to you.”
Poseidon'
s sorrow was palpable. And suddenly his earlier confession made even more sense. The god had wanted to start again with a clean slate, with no compounding of his earlier mistake.
“No, it’s all right,” Griffin said, closing his fingers over Poseidon’s. “You’re damned good-looking, after all. And I really liked the kissing part.”
To his relief Poseidon took the hint and closed the distance, brushing his lips over Griffin’s. He let himself sink into the kiss as the god’s muscled arms slid around him, pulling him closer. Christ almighty. Whatever else he is, he’s also one hell of a good kisser.
When they finally parted, both of them were more than slightly breathless. “So, doctor, when do my treatments start?” Griffin said.
The god’s eyes darkened in amused passion. “Right now, if you like.”
No point in avoiding it. “Well, then. Let’s get started.”
“All right.”
Minutes later Griffin stretched out on the huge bed where the god had deposited him, staring at the cream ceiling overhead as his nerves returned. Yes, Dunn—Poseidon, he corrected, his name is Poseidon—was well fit and handsome as hell, and he’d promised to go slow, and damn if there wasn’t a thrum of desire low in his belly at the thought of being skin to skin with the god.
But Poseidon was still a bloke. And uni was a long time ago, and that was just a drunken make-out session at a party anyway, and Jesus, he's big. How much is it going to hurt?
Griffin forced himself to take in a breath, feeling the water judder a bit in his lungs. You can do this. Just relax, and for fuck’s sake use a lot of lube. Wait. Can we use lube underwater? Oh, shit—
Poseidon picked that moment to come back into the bedroom, carrying two refilled bulbs of wine. He was still dressed, and settled tentatively on the edge of the bed. “I thought you might appreciate this,” he said, handing over one of the bulbs.
Deep Water Page 19
