by B. T Hoax
Kenna hated herself for how much she’d cried. Her first reaction had been shock and disbelief, but by the time she’d heard Jon’s truck speeding away, she knew that it was really over.
Even after the realization, she tried to hide it. She’d gone upstairs, showered, hoisted on the pair of pj’s that she still resided in and pretended not to care. She pretended that none of it happened, that she’d never dated Jon Colewell, that he’d never kissed her or danced with her or rescued her or confided in her all of his deepest secrets. Although she ached to rid her memory of all of the sweet moments with the boy, Kenna simply couldn’t.
And so, she cried. She’d cried for several hours on Saturday night and even some on Sunday. A stinging in her chest let her know that she was heart-broken. It was a brokenness that she hadn’t felt since the day her parents announced their divorce.
Ever since her mother and father split, Kenna had made a promise to harden her heart and to cast out any belief in true love. Instead, she’d filled herself with anger and a callousness that had generally left her with no friends or even close family members.
But Jon had changed so much of that. Her heart had made room for him, sought him out, and even welcomed him. And now there was a void, an emptiness, an emptiness that had already begun to fill with resentment and hurt and even hatred. And as angry as she was at Jon, she was equally angry at herself for putting herself in such a position in the first place.
You set yourself up, Kenna, she’d told herself. You let yourself fall for a guy who was too perfect and too impossible to hold onto.
And now she was like all those girls she’d always hated. The ones who were so pathetic that they were bed-ridden from a simple break-up.
Yes, hatred. She hated feeling this way. So rejected and so self-loathing.
Her dad had tried to make her feel better. Her father, of course, had somewhat easily figured out what had happened despite Kenna’s persistent declines to discuss the matter. He’d tried to take her out to eat, to a movie, offered to make her soup, or even take her shopping. But eventually, and to her surprise, he had been quite understanding and, though initially reluctant, agreed to let her be alone to mope for the remainder of the weekend. It helped that her uncle was visiting that weekend and managed to keep her dad occupied and out of her hair.
And so for almost two days she lingered in her thoughts of Jon Colewell and everything that had happened between them.
But that weekend was up, and Monday had come upon her faster than she’d anticipated.
And so, the girl slumped out of her warm bed and began the proper morning rituals. And in the standard amount of time, she showered, dried her hair and straightened it, put on a bit of mascara, and gotten herself dressed in very casual attire.
Sweatpants and a t-shirt.
They seemed fitting for such an occasion.
Kenna sighed as she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen where fresh eggs and pancakes were waiting for her.
“Thought I’d make you breakfast now that that crazy uncle of yours is headed back down South. Sorry if I’ve neglected you the past few days,” he apologized as he placed the food in front of the teen.
“No, I needed the alone time,” Kenna argued. “I honestly don’t even have an appetite,” she continued as she sat down and slid the food away from her.
“Well that’s not like you,” her father joked. Kenna, however, was in no joking mood. She was still in moping mode.
“I don’t want to go to school,” she confessed with an exhale. “Everyone is going to be asking questions.”
“You have to go to school, Kenna,” he replied though still sympathetic. “Just ignore people if they prod at you. They can find better things to talk about.”
“You obviously haven’t adjusted to the small town life, dad,” she contended quickly. “That’s what people do here, they talk about each other.” The man was unsure of how to combat her very accurate response. “Don’t worry about it,” Kenna said to break the brief silence. “I’ll get through it.”
And with those hardly hopeful words, she made her way out the door and into her vehicle. The drive to school was short as usual, and the girl even arrived a few minutes early like she typically did.
Kenna flung her backpack over her shoulder as she exited her car and began her slow walk into the school building. She hoped that school might distract her from the sudden break up with Jon but seriously doubted that it would. And in fact, it was proving to do quite the opposite.
Britney was the first to approach her about the subject as Kenna reached their hallway. Kenna had texted Britney the day before and explained the break-up without much of a choice. But Kenna had to face it; when one’s relationship status changed on social media, it didn’t go without notice or consequence.
“You doing okay?” Britney asked as she reached for a hug.
Kenna didn’t want to hug her friend but didn’t want to disappoint her either. “Yea,” she lied as she accepted the embrace. “It’s not that big a deal,” she lied again as they parted and began to organize their lockers for the day.
“Well, I’m sure everyone is talking about it. Just a heads up,” her friend warned kindly.
“I figured,” Kenna replied with an unenthused roll of her eyes. “But like I said, I’m over it. Not a big deal.”
The pair chatted for a while before the bell made it ominous ring.
“Off to psychology for us,” Britney smiled as she picked up her bag.
Kenna likewise reached for her bag, but a separate set of hands had already taken them.
“Someone as hot as you shouldn’t have to carry a bag,” came the voice of the big-headed jock.
“Thanks, Jason, but you don’t have to do that,” Kenna said as tried to take her backpack from the boy.
“No I’ll show you how you should be treated,” he debated with a smile.
Kenna could have slapped the boy, but decided it was best to control herself. “Well, you can start by not calling me hot and giving me back my property,” Kenna sneered despite Jason’s attempts to flatter her.
He dropped the bag. “Well it’s a no wonder you are single,” he laughed. “With a bitchy attitude like that.”
Kenna snatched her bag, and Britney grabbed her before she could make any more conversation. “Forget him,” she whispered. “He’s probably just trying to get in your pants. That’s what he does, goes for girls after break-ups, when they are all emotional and stuff.”
Kenna nodded and tried to blow it off, but as she did, Jason’s footsteps came back up behind them.
“Sorry, KennDoll,” he apologized half-heartedly. “Let me make it up to you? I’ll take you out tonight? Then my place after?”
“Jason, you might be good at rebounding in basketball, but Kenna’s not interested,” Britney scoffed, taking the words right out of Kenna’s mouth.
“You sure KennDoll?” he asked. “Just give me a call!” he continued before Kenna could make a rather rude answer. For as he said it, he began at a rather fast pace away from the pair and towards his first hour class.
“Pft,” Britney blew her hair away from her face. “I’ll never understand people.”
“No kidding, yet off to psychology we go,” Kenna replied growing more at ease once Jason was out of eye-shot.
And for a few classes, nothing too explosive happened. Kenna knew people were talking about her by the way they stared during work time, but figured that at least they weren’t constantly confronting her about the break-up. But what was perhaps the most fortunate happening was that Bryce was sick from school that day. Kenna had no idea how the ending of her relationship with Jon would affect the somewhat close friendship she had with Bryce.
No, she didn’t sit with Bryce at lunch or anything, but honestly, he was probably her second best friend behind Britney. The three of them had formed somewhat of a trio in several classes, always working together and chatting together. She thought Bryce was quite a character, and everyon
e really seemed to love him.
Kenna certainly liked him. And so did Britney. And so did Jon. Unfortunately, she didn’t know if she’d be able to look at Bryce without thinking of his asshole of a brother, the asshole who showed her happiness then so suddenly ripped it away from her. It wasn’t a good thought.
With that in mind, Kenna made her way to her locker, still feeling more sluggish and depressed than she had earlier that day. As she swapped out some book and placed her bag in the fortress before lunch, she heard someone approaching her from behind.
“Hey.” It was Chelsea’s voice. And to Kenna’s surprise, it sounded somewhat sympathetic and kind. Or at least it did until Kenna turned around to face the witch and saw that smirk settled quite cozily upon her snarky face.
“Can I help you?” Kenna asked with the usual sarcasm.
“No,” Chelsea sneered. “I actually wanted to apologize. I didn’t realize that you and Jon were still together when he and I started talking on Friday.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kenna shot back at the blond with sudden aggression.
Seeing Kenna get worked up would only work to Chelsea’s advantage. She smiled wickedly, “Just Jon and I are pretty much together. Sorry, I thought you should know. After all, he liked you for a whole thirty seconds.”
If Britney hadn’t stepped in between them, Kenna was certain that she would have smacked the brat clean across the face. “Oh shut up Chelsea,” her friend chimed in just in the nick of time. “Go take your slutty ass to someone who wants to hear it.”
“So Jon?” she laughed, her laugh worse than the cackle of any hyena.
Kenna jumped at her, and the blond backed up quickly. Britney, of course, had a tight grip on Kenna’s sleeve at this point. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Britney replied with a composed sneer.
Chelsea smiled and waved at the pair as she began to walk by. “Toodles,” she snickered as she made her way towards the cafeteria.
Kenna still stood there with fists clenched and fully aware that she would be late for lunch.
“Just ignore her,” Britney sighed as she released her friend from the hold. “She’s just trying to get to you. I doubt she’s even talked to Jon.”
Kenna nodded but her fists remained frozen, and her shoulders remained tight.
Seeing that the girl was still worked up, Britney added, “We need a code word.” Kenna was immediately confused by the statement, which of course distracted her from her anger. “You know. Like if I ever act like that, you need to say something to snap me out of it. Or vis-versa. You know? A code word.”
At the suggestion, Kenna unclenched her fists and felt herself relax into her typical hunch. “So a code word for if one of us is acting like that witch?”
“Yep!” Britney smiled. “That’s exactly what I mean.” They both stood there trying to think of something that would suit such a scenario.
It was Britney’s eyes that began to dance in victory after neither came up with an immediate answer. “I’ve got it!” she announced with the snap of her fingers. “Jelsonea!”
“Jelsonea?”
“Yea, it’s like a combination of Jason and Chelsea, the two people in this school that neither of us can tolerate for more than a minute,” Britney laughed as she explained the thought.
Kenna appreciated the explanation and gave it an approving nod. “Jelsonea it is!”
Kenna respected her friend’s sentiment as they began to lunch together. And fortunately, things seemed to look up from that point as the second half of the day passed quite uneventfully compared to the first. Nevertheless, Kenna practically jogged out of the building when the final bell rang as she was unable to hide her need to escape.
Everyone. Chelsea. Jason. Everyone. Even Britney. And Jon…
Jon?
As she looked up, she saw a rusted white truck parked just across from her vehicle. It didn’t take a genius to figure out whose truck it was. The only question was as to why it was there.
Kenna stopped in her hurried tracks. The last thing she wanted was a reminder of the rejection, the awful, unforeseen, heartless rejection she’d received two evenings prior. Yes, the last thing she wanted was to see Jon and his smug little face.
He’s probably just picking up Bryce, she figured as she began to feel a tension setting in her limbs… but Bryce hadn’t been at school that day, she quickly remembered.
As she stood there to ponder other possible reasons, the driver’s side door of the truck suddenly shot open, and her ex-boyfriend came marching out.
They made eye contact for a brief moment before Kenna turned herself around and began in the opposite direction twice as fast as she’d come. She could hear him coming behind her and quickened her pace even further so that her walk almost took on a flight phase.
“Kenna,” she heard him call.
He was close now, but Kenna knew that if she made it back into the school building that she’d be free from him. The only problem was that more and more people were bustling around her, making her new escape a difficult one to achieve. She didn’t really care if people were gawking at the pursuit, she only wanted to get into the damn building and away from the stupid boy.
And just when she thought she was in the clear, a strong hand gripped the sleeve of her jacket and hurled her around so that she was facing him.
“Leave me alone,” she fired quickly as she attempted to turn away once more, but Jon had a tight hold on her arm now and made it clear that he had no intention of letting her go.
All the students around her were too busy scurrying off to their vehicles to notice the situation. And the few that did were worried about observing and gossiping than helping her get away from the Colewell.
“We need to talk,” he demanded, his hold getting tighter as she began to struggle a little.
“Jon, you will let go of my arm, right now,” she warned under her breath, doing her best not to make more of a scene than she already had. “That hurts,” Kenna notified as she went still but for her other arm reaching to remove his grip from her aching limb.
Jon looked down at his hand as if he hadn’t realized how forcefully he was holding her. Upon the realization, he let her go and let out a short, “Sorry.”
Before he could add anything further, Kenna turned herself again. This time she was met by a softer touch to the shoulder, but nonetheless, a touch that would turn her around to face the boy.
“We need to talk, please?” he asked sternly and apologetically at the same time. His jaw was tight as he spoke, and Kenna could see an urgency and determination in eyes that she hadn’t ever seen before.
When she looked at him, Kenna wanted to forgive him, to talk with him, to understand him. Unfortunately, she’d promised herself that she didn’t need him and was now reminding herself of the fact. “No,” she answered. “I needed to talk to you on Saturday. But I don’t need to talk to you now. Why don’t you try Chelsea? Or have you already been all over that?”
His eyebrows fell into anger at her response. “I’ve never spoken to her, and you know that. Please, can we talk? Somewhere else?” he asked again, his voice maintaining its firmness.
“No,” Kenna said again. “I don’t want to talk to you, Jon.”
Kenna could feel her eyes beginning to glisten with tears. She swallowed hard at her words, doing whatever she could to hide her longing for him and the hurt he’d caused her.
“Please?!” he begged. “Just give me five minutes!”
“I don’t have to give you anything. You couldn’t give me a simple explanation! I owe you nothing,” she said, her hurt morphing into anger. After all, it was easier to be mad than it was to be sad.
“Give me a chance, Kenna!” Both Jon and the girl glanced around them to see that several people had quieted to listen in on the conversation. Kenna didn’t seem to care about the attention, but Jon was not pleased with the amount of people staring in their direction. “Five minutes,” he whispered, still begging
for her to agree.
Kenna shook her head. “Do you have any idea how badly I’m hurting right now? If you have any respect for me, you’ll just let me work it out on my own. I don’t need to hear about the other girl or about how your family hates me or about all the other reasons that we can’t be together. I just want to be alone,” she choked, unable to contain the pain and tightness in her chest.
She could see his eyes scanning her own as a few tears dripped down her cheeks. She wiped them away before he could act on the show of vulnerability. “Fine,” he said under his breath as if the word was breaking his heart.
“Fine?” Kenna shot back, her anger resurfacing. “That’s all that you have to say is fine?”
Before she could finish on her rant, Jon grabbed her hand and began to drag her towards where his truck was parked.
“We are going to talk,” he stated. There was no question in his voice. He was going to talk to the girl whether she would agree to it or not.
“No, we aren’t,” Kenna disagreed though she found herself walking willingly next to him as they got closer to the vehicle.
“Get in,” he ordered.
Kenna glared at him, but her scowl had no effect. He stood holding her hand until she took a seat on the passenger side. He then sprinted to his side and locked the doors as if he needed to hold her hostage.
“Knock it off, Jon. Unlock the doors!” she yelled as he shifted into reverse and began a rather erratic drive away from the school…and witnesses. “Jon, you are scaring me! Stop it!” she hollered again.
He looked away from the road and towards Kenna, who had positioned herself as far away from him as she possibly could. Seeing the slight panic come across her face, he unlocked the doors and let out another short apology.
“You have five minutes. I’m timing you. Go,” she instructed coldly, her arms folded across her chest with anger and hostility.
