And then there was me.
Not for the first time I wondered if my interest in Max was partly because all my friends seemed to be moving on without me. Lexi and I used to talk almost daily and now we talked about once a week. Bringing the others into my world had kept me busy, but I didn’t have that one person. The one I could call for anything, who would help me and talk me through anything. Lexi had Mike, Sam had Brady, Mandy had Xander, Carrie had Drew, Riley had Connor, Addi had Joey, and Claire had Aidan. They all had me and, to a point, I had them, but I was always second to someone else.
Before I let myself get too lost in my private pity party, I sent Sam a reply and stuffed my phone in my pocket before heading back down to Bite Me! to help Kendall and close up for the night.
Twelve
The next day I heard back from Elizabeth. The site was still available and they were willing to sign a lease with me, putting the property on hold since they knew I was interested in both the store and the apartment.
But they couldn’t release it until a month after I needed to be in.
I spent the week trying to figure out what I was going to do, but signed the lease because I knew it was the perfect place for me.
Even if I had to shut down for a month.
When I talked to Lexi about it she suggested I request an extension on my current lease so I could move straight from one to the other. I called the new owner’s office and was lucky they didn’t laugh at me.
Back to square one.
The following week Mandy brought Elise to our girls’ night. As soon as she walked in with the wrap Riley made her tucked under her jacket, we all cooed and rushed over.
“Oh, she’s so precious,” moaned Sam.
“I can’t believe you brought her,” squealed Carrie.
“Can I hold her?” asked Addi.
“Sure,” Mandy said as she carefully lowered herself into a seat. Claire helped get her coat off then Mandy reached in to extract the tiny bundle that was Elise. Xander walked in as Addi snuggled the baby to her chest.
Tears sprung to Addi’s eyes when she looked down at Elise. I stayed safely behind the counter, wishing I could comfort Addi. Her pain was palpable, but she hid it well behind her smiles for the baby.
Xander went around the table, kissing cheeks and hugging everyone before joining me at the counter.
“I’m surprised you let them out tonight,” I teased the overprotective Xander.
He rolled his eyes but grinned at me. “You know how my wife is. God love her, but she’s as stubborn as they come. She wasn’t willing to miss Elise’s first girls’ night out.”
I laughed as I imagined the argument that Xander lost before they came to Bite Me! He loved his wife like nothing else, but I knew that love meant she won most of their arguments. He considered himself lucky to have her, and he was. Mandy was one of the kindest, most loving people I’d ever met.
Xander ordered their cupcakes, a cup of decaf coffee for him, and a hot chocolate for Mandy. Before I could join everyone I helped Kendall with the next few orders then took my seat at the cramped table where my friends were.
“Charlie, I owe Max so much for getting me there. Do you have his number or address so we can send him something?”
Xander nodded along with Mandy before his eyes drifted over to Elise cuddled in Riley’s arms. Connor was staring down at her with so much love that it nearly ripped my heart out. I wanted someone to see me the way he saw Riley, the way all my friends were seen by their husbands.
I sucked in a breath and forced the pain out of my chest. I wouldn’t have what they all had. It just couldn’t happen. I knew that and wishing for it would only make it hurt worse. Loving someone, and letting them love me, meant letting them in.
But Max… Maybe I could- No! I couldn’t go there. No matter how great he seemed, I wouldn’t let myself put him in a different category. Not now. Maybe once Bite Me! was secure again. Maybe.
“Actually I don’t have his number, Mandy. If he comes in again I can ask him for you though,” I offered. Max hadn’t been back since the morning Sam caught us making out on the counter. To say it bothered me didn’t even begin to cover how I felt.
All the more reason to keep him firmly in the ‘not gonna happen’ category.
“You’re sleeping with him but you don’t know his phone number?” Sam asked from the opposite side of the table.
“How did you know I slept with him?” I blurted out.
She smirked at me, her eyes shimmering. “You just told me. I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on us. I knew the way the two of you were devouring each other that something was going on. Is he good?”
Connor, Xander, and Joey rolled their eyes and covered their ears, protesting any answer I may have come up with. I laughed at them, but knew Sam wouldn’t give up. Neither would the others who sat enraptured. “It was one time and I haven’t seen him since the morning you were here.”
Sam narrowed her eyes at me, probably trying to read my mind. Sam had an uncanny ability to know what people were thinking. I didn’t know how she did it but every time one of us was trying to keep something to ourselves Sam was able to guess what it was and drag it out in the open.
I’d never had that knowing gaze directed at me. And I didn’t like it one bit.
“You’re upset, aren’t you? You were starting to open up to him and then he vanished. Shit, and it’s all my fault.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t do anything. Anyone could have walked in and interrupted us. Honestly I’m glad it was you and not one of my eighty year old customers.”
“Yeah, but he left and never came back. It has to be my fault,” Sam argued, her voice full of regret.
I sighed heavily, knowing Sam was wrong. Max vanishing had nothing to do with her, but everything to do with me. I felt like a magician around men, always making them disappear but never knowing how I did it.
“I have a talent, Sam. It has nothing to do with you. Men just don’t stick around where I’m concerned. Never have, never will. Not to be cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me.”
The others laughed but I saw Lexi’s expression out of the corner of my eye. She knew more about my past than the others so I knew she would see past my joke. I avoided looking directly at her though because she could read me. She would see the pain in my eyes and the ache in my heart. Lexi would want to do what she did best. Fix it.
“I still feel bad, Charlie. Have you seen his plow?”
I nodded, suddenly wanting the conversation about me and Max to be well beyond us. I didn’t want to talk about him, think about him, or dream about him. I wanted to move on like I did with all the others, but worse. Because no matter what I said, I’d started to imagine Max was different. For the first time in a lot of years, I let myself believe a guy might be someone who saw me as someone to care about.
And I was learning all over again that none of them were different. Not with me.
“Max has been plowing when there’s snow, but he hasn’t been in and I haven’t talked to him. How about we talk about something else?”
“Have you found a new location yet?” Claire asked.
“I did. I signed a lease, but I can’t get in until the end of January.”
“What are you going to do until then?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s a great site, but I keep wondering if I’m making the wrong choice. Closing for a month is going to be tough.”
“Don’t you have a big event in January? How are you going to fulfill it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to come up with ideas. Without an industrial kitchen I doubt I’d get everything done, but I don’t know anyone who has one of those.”
“What about using our kitchens?” Carrie suggested. “I can help you. We can do a batch at everyone’s house.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’ll be enough. I need to bake 200 cupcakes. Best case scenario in a home kitchen I can do 24 at a time.
It would be like six hours of baking.”
“Or three at my house and three at yours,” Carrie offered.
I laughed. “I don’t even know where I’m going to live that month. The place has an apartment that I’m going to take, but I can’t get in. I’ll be homeless for a month.”
“Come live with us,” Lexi offered. “And use our kitchen. You know you’re always welcome.”
“Our house too,” Claire agreed.
“Or ours,” Mandy offered.
“Charles, you know we’re not going to have you living out of your car,” Lexi argued. “You can stay a few days with each of us if you feel like you’d be intruding. I know you’re worried about interrupting our lives, but you’d do the same for us. Let us help you.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it,” I promised them all before I pasted on a smile and focused on Mandy. “Mandy, how’s your first week as a mom been?”
After exchanging knowing looks, everyone accepted my subject change. Mandy dove into stories about Elise and how life with a newborn had been. I tuned in and out, smiling along with everyone else and cooing when Elise woke up and gave Riley a gummy smile.
I caught Sam eyeing Addi a few times and Addi wiping invisible tears away when Mandy told us how much she loved Elise. I wanted desperately to help them both, but didn’t know how. The divide between Addi and Sam was tough to see, but I was relieved no one else noticed it. I didn’t think Addi knew Sam’s secret yet but something had them leaning away from each other instead of toward each other. It made me wonder what other secrets our group held.
The phone rang while Kendall was talking to a boy I’d seen in a few times. I could tell she liked him and didn’t mind letting them talk so I ducked into the kitchen and grabbed the phone.
“Good evening, Bite Me! How may I help you?”
“Charlotte?” his soft voice tickled my ear and shot straight through me, settling low in my gut. I hated how quickly I reacted to him, and how completely.
“Yes, this is Charlotte,” I answered, not willing to give in to anything.
“It’s Max,” he said, then paused, as though waiting for me.
“How can I help you?” I feigned indifference.
He huffed out a long breath. “I guess I deserve this, huh? I called to tell you I’m sorry for not being in lately. I’ve just been-“
“Max, you don’t owe me any apologies. You’re a customer. I hope you’re happy with your service here, but you are in no way obligated to come in every day. I have very few customers that are that dedicated.”
I could almost feel the tension through the phone. I knew it would piss him off for me to treat him like I didn’t care, but I’d be damned if I let him drop in for a booty call whenever he was bored. I didn’t need to be the fat chick he had on call. I had more respect for myself than that.
“Please, Charlotte, don’t say I’m just a customer. I’d hoped I was more than that by now.”
“What do you want me to say, Max?” I practically whined, losing my facade of apathy.
“I want you to say it was okay for me to help my sister with her store and not come by to see you. I want you to say there aren’t any other men dedicated enough to come every day. I want you to say you missed me as much as I missed you. I wanted you to say I’m more than a customer to you. I want you to say I can come over tonight because if I stay away another day I think I’ll lose my mind.”
My knees softened under me and I sunk to the floor with my back against the kitchen wall. God, he knew just what to say to make me give in. He was helping his sister? How could I get mad about that? Like I told Mandy, I don’t have his number, and he doesn’t have mine, so he couldn’t have let me know what was going on.
Except…
“Why didn’t you call me before now?” I asked, feeling my anger well back up. He knew where I worked, where I spent most of my time. And obviously he had the number for the store. Why didn’t he call?
“I wanted to, honestly. It was one of those things where I hovered over your name over and over again and kept talking myself out of it. Every day I promised myself I’d see you the next day, but then Abby would need something and I’d get sucked into helping her.”
“Why now?”
Max exhaled loudly. “She done for now. She’s waiting for some equipment to be delivered and there isn’t anything we can do until it gets here. Hopefully the guys delivering it set it up so I can breathe once in a while. She’s run me so ragged I’ve barely been able to make it to bed at night to fall asleep. I passed out at the dinner table one night.”
I couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past my lips. I liked that he could make me laugh even when I wanted to be mad at him. But, I couldn’t deny that it was sweet he was helping his sister. Lexi helped me out when I started up Bite Me! and I would have taken any help I could get. Abby was lucky to have Max.
“Okay, I guess I can forgive that. Is everything going well for her?”
Max hesitated and I wondered why he didn’t want to tell me about her store. My heart dropped and I silently wished her the best, assuming Max didn’t have much confidence in his sister’s abilities. “Yeah, I guess things are going okay. So, do you think I can come see you tonight?”
I grinned and knew I would give in. Max was becoming my kryptonite. All he had to do was smile, or laugh, or say my name in that sexy voice, and I was a goner.
“What time were you planning to stop by?”
I heard shuffling before he said, “Well, I can be there in about five minutes if you’re up for it. I don’t want to interrupt if you’re still working though.”
“It’s okay, I’m pretty tight with the boss. Besides, Tuesdays my friends all gather here and hang out. Kendall’s still working so I can spend time with them. Oh, speaking of which, Mandy and Xander were asking for your number. They want to thank you for your help last week. They’re here tonight with Elise if you want to see them.”
Max’s pause was barely perceptible, but it was there. When he spoke again his voice wasn’t as bright as it had been. “That sounds great. I’ll, uh, I’ll be there soon.”
I hung up with Max wondering why he was anxious after he’d been so eager to see me. Maybe he didn’t like my friends. Or he didn’t like babies. Either way there was something that made Max wary, and I couldn’t help but think it was something that was major.
“Is everything okay?” Lexi asked when I got back to the table.
“Yeah, um, that was Max, actually. He’s on his way over.”
“Oh, good,” Mandy exclaimed. “We can see him and thank him.”
I smiled at Mandy’s excitement and avoided Lexi’s knowing stare again. Of course, Sam was still there too. They were both way too perceptive, but I hoped Max would arrive before they jumped on what was bothering me.
What could I tell them? I thought Max either hated my friends or hated kids. Both options would put everyone on edge. And I didn’t know if it was true. Making them all uncomfortable around Max would only end up making him more awkward.
I just didn’t get it. He was fine with everyone at the hospital. He avoided Riley, Connor, and Mandy that one day, but he bought us all pizza after he drove Mandy to the hospital. It didn’t make any sense.
Before I could worry any further, Max walked in the door. He smiled when he caught my eye, his dimple winking at me. He ordered something from Kendall and joined us after she handed him a cupcake and bottle of water.
“Max,” Mandy exclaimed when he was standing next to the table. She jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “I can’t thank you enough for your help getting Elise born.”
“Oh, I didn’t really do anything,” Max stammered as he awkwardly hugged Mandy back. “I just drove you to the hospital.”
“Yeah, but you also kept this hungry group fed and buttered up the nurses. My entire stay they thanked me for the pizza dinner and for being so kind to them. I didn’t have the heart to tell them we had nothin
g to do with it!”
Xander pulled Mandy onto his lap when she moved to sit back down and gestured to her vacant chair for Max to sit in. Between us was Lexi, Sam, Riley, and Connor. He glanced at me as he sat and I could see fear in his eyes, although I didn’t know why.
“I was glad I could do something to help out. Charlotte is so wonderful and helped me when I was in a bind so the least I could do was help her friends.”
He smiled at me as he spoke, and I could feel the warmth of his look all through my body, like a blanket wrapping around me. The rest of my friends faded away as I looked at Max and knew, without a doubt, he’d be spending the night.
Again.
Thirteen
Elise yawned widely then stretched in my arms and my heart swelled. I wanted one. More than I’d ever wanted anything. The idea of having a child was never something I’d thought about. After how horrible my own parents were I hadn’t thought about it much, but as I held that sweet little girl in my arms I couldn’t deny the pull to have one of my own.
“I think it might be time to get you both home,” Xander said softly to Mandy. I looked up at her and saw her eyes closing as she nodded in agreement then yawned just like her perfect little girl.
I was reluctant to give Elise up, wanting nothing more than to carry her upstairs and hold her forever, but I knew Mandy felt the same way.
“If you ever need a babysitter, let me know,” I offered, knowing my life was the dullest of all of ours and I was most likely to have free time. At least until things moved forward with my relocation.
“We will,” Mandy said as she stood. She tied herself in the wrap for Elise then reached down for the baby. I kissed Elise’s head and lifted her gently into Mandy’s arms so she could fit the baby into the sling. Elise looked so cozy snuggled against her mommy that I knew I’d be a baby-wearing mommy, too.
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