I crossed my arms over my chest and faced him. “What was that?”
Max glanced back at the kitchen as though it would give him some answers. “What do you mean?”
“Your toast. What was that about?”
“I just wanted to thank your friends. After last week when you said you thought I didn’t like them I realized they might have thought that too. Instead of coming out and saying, ‘I know you think I hate you but I don’t’ I figured I’d go with something else.”
“Not that part. What you said about being an official member?”
“Oh, that.” His head dropped and he wouldn’t look at me.
“Yeah, that. What the hell was that? What were you trying to say Max?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“I’m a little slow. Spell it out for me.”
He huffed out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. “I like you Charlotte. I told you that a week ago. I’m not trying to push you into anything. It’s been almost a week since I’ve really seen you. I just wanted to say I’d missed you. I’m not running and I wanted you, and your friends, to know that.”
“Why do you think I’m worried about you running?”
He cupped my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me. “I see the fear in your eyes, Charlotte. You’ve been hurt. I can tell every time you pull away from me, or push me away like you’re trying to do now. I don’t want you to put me with whoever it is that hurt you. I’m not going to.”
“You can’t promise that, Max.”
He sighed heavily, making me wonder if there was something he wasn’t telling me. He swallowed audibly then nodded once as if he’d made a decision. “You’re right. And there is something I need to tell you. But let’s enjoy the night with your friends.”
Nineteen
We joined the rest of the group and Max pulled me right into his arms. He kissed the side of my forehead and kept his arm around my waist, holding me tight to him. I leaned my head against his shoulder and just enjoyed being close to him.
I didn’t know what it was he had to tell me, but I was anxious. If it was something he didn’t want to tell me in front of my friends if was probably something he thought I wasn’t going to be happy about. Which made me anxious.
I struggled to push my worries aside for the rest of the evening. I talked and laughed and played the part of being perfectly fine even though I wasn’t. In a day I was losing the business I’d poured everything into and I had no idea what it would look like when I finally opened it back up. I still doubted that I could pull off the anniversary party the following weekend by cooking in Lexi’s kitchen. Was it possible? Sure. But it wasn’t going to be easy. I’d be baking cupcakes in batches of 24, six hours of baking. Plus cooling time and frosting time. If I had my own kitchen, my industrial kitchen, the baking time would be cut down to about two hours, meaning I could do everything in one day. With six hours of baking I would have to stretch it to two, which meant the cupcakes wouldn’t be as fresh. And I’d risk losing clients.
There wasn’t anything I could do about it though. My only other option would be to take Abigail up on her offer to use the kitchen at SkinnyCakes, and I wasn’t sure I could do that.
Max interrupted my thoughts with a new glass of Xander’s punch. He nodded to a plush leather loveseat and pulled me down next to him to watch the New Year’s Eve show Xander turned on. We snuggled and watched as the time crept closer and closer to midnight.
With a minute to go we all stood up to count down with the TV to midnight. Max held me in his arms and we counted down the last ten seconds together.
“Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one! Happy New Year!”
The confetti on the TV covered Times Square as Max’s lips covered mine. One hand cupped my jaw and the other ran down my spine, settling low on my back. Max kissed me softly, his lips gently probing mine. When his tongue teased the seam of my lips I opened for him without hesitation.
His tongue swept through my mouth, searching and exploring. I melted into him, welcoming the familiar feel of his body against mine. I let go of everything that had been holding me back from Max, all my hesitations, and leaned into his kiss.
His hand slid back into my hair, adjusting my head to his liking. I was his puppet, putty in his hands, as he made me into whatever he wanted me to be. I clung to his shirt, needing to be close to him. Everything I felt for him poured through my lips and into him, our kiss being the first of the new year and the first between us without me holding back.
I finally believed in Max’s desire and care for me. I let myself fall, I let myself trust, and I let myself love. I knew Max could feel it too because this kiss was different. It was a whole new Max. A whole new kiss. He was kissing me back with as much passion as I was kissing him, telling me with his kiss exactly how he felt about me.
I nearly stumbled when I realized I felt love. My love. His love. It was powerful.
When Max and I finally pulled apart my friends were all doing the same. We all relinquished our hold on our significant others and went around the room hugging and kissing cheeks. As I shuffled around the room I felt my heart expand, like the Grinch at the end of the book. Releasing the fear I’d held for so long felt good, better than I’d ever imagined.
I was surrounded by people who loved me, people I loved, and nothing could make my year start out any better.
“Oh, shit,” Mandy called out. “I forgot the champagne!”
She rushed into the kitchen and pulled bottles out of the fridge. Xander was right behind her, grabbing flutes and popping the corks to pour our drinks. We all followed them into the kitchen and passed out the drinks.
“These are non-alcoholic,” Mandy said, gesturing to the glasses Xander was pouring. Max grabbed one of each kind and handed me the loaded glass.
“To us. All of us. To a wonderful year and many more together,” Xander said once we were all holding up our glasses. Max gave my hip a squeeze and I hip-checked him back. We were thinking the same thing… that we wanted many more years together.
It wasn’t long before we were all saying goodnight and heading out. I was anxious to spend some time alone with Max since we hadn’t seen each other much over the last week. Even though my friends all lived with their husbands, they seemed just as ready to be home alone as Max and I were.
Our drive back to my apartment was tense. I could feel how badly he wanted me and my own need matched it. If he had to stop for one more red light I was pretty sure I was going to climb on top of him in the car and have my way with him.
Max parked behind my apartment. While I unlocked the door his lips found my neck. His hand cupped my breast through my jacket and he pressed his erection into my ass. I was already wet and ready for him, desperate to get him inside. His open-mouthed kisses on my neck sent me spinning and I fumbled then dropped my keys. Max turned me around and kissed me hard, pressing my back against the door.
God, I wanted him. I wanted to make love to him. Tonight wasn’t sex, and we both knew it.
Max broke away from me and grabbed my keys. He shoved the key in the lock and opened the door, propelling me inside ahead of him before he slammed the door closed and locked it behind us.
“I plan to make dessert out of you tonight, baby. All night long I’m going to show you just how sweet I think you are. And this dress… I’ve been hard all night long watching you in this dress. I’m going to unwrap you like the best belated Christmas present ever.”
My skin tingled with his words. Actually fucking tingled. I felt like I was going to explode, right then and there, just from the way he was looking at me. No man had ever looked at me like that. It was a mix of raw desire and complete adoration.
And it didn’t scare me a bit.
“Do you have any icing left over?” Max asked looking around the kitchen.
“Um, yeah, why?” I had no idea where the sudden change came from but whatever. He must have been hungry.
; “I told you,” his eyes as hungry as his voice sounded, “I’m making you dessert.”
Oh, shit. Those tingles went straight to tremors. He wasn’t even going to need to touch me before I came. I was right there, teetering over the edge, just from his voice. Damn.
Without a word, I grabbed a tub of frosting out of the fridge. I always had extra just in case I had a midnight craving for sweetness, but kept it downstairs so I’d really have to work for it. Something told me Max wasn’t going to make me work for it tonight.
He pulled the top off the container and grinned at the pink icing. It matched the pink of my logo and was one of my favorites, a buttercream base with a touch of raspberry.
Max kept his eyes on mine as he slid one finger deep into the tub of frosting. He probed it a few times, like he usually did to me, and I swear to God I had a mini-orgasm right there watching him. He pulled his finger out and sucked on it, moaning as he cleaned the frosting from his finger.
“Almost as sweet as you, baby. Almost.”
Holy shit, I was going to come again. The next time he stuck his finger in he ran a line of frosting down my neck and between my breasts. He looked at his finger like he couldn’t figure out why there was still frosting on it then smeared it on my lips, teasing me until my lips parted for him.
I held his wrist in place while I licked his finger, rolling my tongue over it and sucking hard, making sure he knew exactly what I was really thinking. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard and I smiled. I liked dessert.
Max wasn’t done though. He pulled his finger out and laid his mouth over the frosting on my neck, kissing and sucking his way down the frosting trail until he settled between my breasts. He worked his way back up and sealed his lips over mine, kissing me again like he did at midnight, pouring all his feelings into it until I had no doubt how much he cared about me.
“I’m dying to know what’s under this little skirt, baby. Can I see?”
“You know,” I said as I walked toward the stainless steel prep counter on the other side of the kitchen, “it’s always been a fantasy of mine to have sex in here. The place where I’m most comfortable. I’ve always imagined a man coming from the front and finding me back here, sitting up on this counter, and not being able to resist me. I guess tonight’s my last chance.”
Max backed me up against the stainless steel surface then lifted me up onto it as though I weighed no more than a toothpick. “Let’s not think about that right now, baby.” He smiled sadly at me then said, “What if your mystery man is here because he loves you and wants to be with you everywhere and every way he can.”
“What?” I choked. “What did you just say?”
Max smiled, completely at ease with the fact that he just said the L word. “I said I love you, Charlotte. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re everything to me. I know it’s fast. Hell, it’s only been a week since we talked about giving us a real chance. But I can’t keep this inside any longer. Charlotte, I love you. I love you so much and I hope it doesn’t scare you away. I hope you’ll let me tell you every day and let me love you every night and I’ll wait until you’re there too. I know you’re not ready, but I just had to tell you, baby.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered.
“What?” Max asked. I wasn’t sure if he didn’t hear me or if he didn’t believe it.
“I love you, Max.”
“Charlotte, I don’t want you to feel pressured to say that. I didn’t tell you so you would feel you had to tell me also.”
“I know. But hearing it gave me the courage to admit how I’ve been feeling. I finally accepted it last week.”
“That’s why you were so scared. Why we’ve been talking lately about what’s going on. Oh, baby, I’m not going anywhere, I promise you. You can love me and I can love you, and nothing is going to change that.”
I kissed Max, emptying my soul to him. As our tongues glided together I knew no one’s kisses would ever feel the same as his. And I prayed I would never have the chance to find out. I hoped to be kissing Max every day for the rest of my life.
“Now, where were we?” he asked seductively when we broke apart. “Oh, that’s right. I’m the man who’s just come into the kitchen and found you with a bowl of icing and I can’t resist you.”
I giggled at his role play. He was getting into it, and I was getting more and more turned on with every second he played along. Yep, I was going to need some bleach before I left the next day.
“Now I’ve got to see what’s underneath this skirt,” he said as he ran his hands up my legs. His fingers drifted off the tops of my boots and skimmed over my stockings, disappearing under the edge of my skirt. When he touched the lace top of my thigh highs he stopped and looked at me, confused.
“What’s that?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer he flipped my skirt up and saw the lace. “Holy fuck, baby. What else do you have under here?”
“Not much,” I shrugged, because it was the truth. My panties were barely more fabric than a lace ribbon.
Max pulled my skirt up as he went higher until the fabric was bunched around my waist. “Jesus. Christ.”
“Do you like them?” I asked innocently.
His eyes finally met mine. Deep brown fluttered to black with his desire. I could see sweat forming at the edges of his hair and I knew just how hard he was working to keep himself in check.
“I like them so much I want to rip them off you, but then I’d never get to see you in them again. It’s the world’s worst internal struggle.”
“Well, I’m sort of liking this reaction so I’m thinking we save them.”
“I’m liking this reaction too,” he growled as he ran a finger over my panties. I gripped the edge of the counter for stability, but I was gone. Just the one touch and I quivered with a delicious, sweet, mini-orgasm. “Oh, fuck, you’ve done it now,” Max groaned.
Before I knew it his pants were around his ankles and my panties were shredded and flying across the room. He slid inside me hard and fast, our bodies slamming together. Max gripped my hips and pulled me to the very edge of the counter. I loved having a tall man even more when I realized he was the perfect height to make love to me on the counter.
Max’s mouth was on mine as he attacked me with his hips. His fingers dug into my flesh as he drove into me over and over. My heart pounded in my chest and my breath became shallow. I clung to Max with all my strength, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.
My skin broke out in a sweat, heating spiraling through me as Max pushed me closer to the edge. I was leaping toward the cliff, almost there with each thrust of our bodies together.
When I came it was like my own personal earthquake. My body shook uncontrollably and I thrashed beneath Max. I screamed out his name like my dying word, a declaration and a promise all in one. I heard him call my name as his thrusts got deeper and harder, my orgasm presumably pushing him into his own. He shuddered above me then collapsed over top of me.
We stayed there for a few minutes, me flat on my back on the prep counter and Max draped over me like a blanket. When he got some strength back he pushed himself off me. “Sorry, baby. Did I hurt you?”
“No. It was amazing. Perfect.”
“Fabulous,” we said in unison.
Max helped me to my feet then reached down for his jeans. “Baby, I’m sorry, but I didn’t use a condom. I just completely forgot. Oh, Charlotte, I’m so sorry.”
“Max,” I said softly, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at me. “It’s fine. I’m on birth control and I’m clean. We don’t really need them, well, unless you…” I trailed off. We’d never talked about our past or our health. Maybe… Aw, shit.
“No, baby, I’m good. I always wear one but… well, I’ve never been in love before and never considered not wearing one. Jesus, I wondered why you felt different. I’m such an idiot.”
“Max, it’s okay. Really. I liked feeling just you, with nothing between us, and I’m okay with that
all the time if you are.”
“Yeah?” he grinned.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Think you’d be up for… now. I’m guessing we could use a shower and I’ve been dreaming of getting you in there since we met.”
“You dirty, dirty man,” I teased.
“Yep. That’s why we need the shower,” he said with a wink. “Oh, and bring the frosting. There’s a few more places I want to lick that off of before I wash your body from head to toe. And all my favorite places in between.”
Twenty
After our shower, Max and I cuddled on my bed. I couldn’t imagine a better start to the New Year, even if we were surrounded by boxes and I was about to be homeless for a month. I had Max and I knew the year would be everything I’d ever imagined. I would have someone there for me again, someone who turned to me first. Someone who would always put my needs first. Someone who love me.
“Tell me about your family,” Max prompted as we cuddled. I’d mentioned them briefly, but I’d never gone into much detail. It was time to tell him everything.
“You know I was raised by my Grams, right?” He nodded. “Well, I never told you why.”
Max covered my hand with his and pulled it to his lips. He kissed my hand and the top of my head as I snuggled deeper against his chest. “Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. I hope you know that.”
I nodded. “I know, Max, I promise. My mom was young when she had me, nineteen. She wasn’t ready to be a mom and my dad wasn’t ready to be a dad. When she told him about me he left her. He didn’t want kids and wasn’t going to be tied down. She felt the same way. As soon as I was born she took me to her mom’s, my Grams’, and left me there. Grams raised me because my parents didn’t want me.”
“They were fools, Charlotte. Absolute fools to not want to be a part of your life.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t change that I wasn’t enough for them. My mom died when I was in high school of a drug overdose and we never heard from my dad again. I always believed that if I was a good enough kid they would come back, that it would be enough for them to want to be around me. It never worked though.”
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