by K. F. Breene
I sat on the couch, opposite of a focused Jonas and a beaming Charles.
I was pregnant.
It wasn’t real yet. I hadn’t been trying, and hadn’t been expecting it, and now I couldn’t quite take it all in. I had a hitchhiker in my stomach. It wasn’t just me in this body, anymore. Something else was in there with me.
That was the craziest thought.
“I can’t take care of a baby!” I blurted out of nowhere before Jonas had even started his lecture. “I can’t even take care of myself! I’ve never even held a baby! I don’t know how to change a diaper.”
“You don’t need to take care of you—that’s what we’re for,” Charles said with soft eyes. “We got this.”
“This race covets children,” Jonas said in calm tones. “Children are the continuation of our line. Two in seven women in our clan carry to term without miscarriage. One in three of those go on to have more than one, but usually never make it to more than three. That isn’t many. Now, with the presence of more humans, that number may rise. But as of right now, there is a thin line connecting our race to the future. And that line is solely tied to women being able to reproduce. We take this very seriously.”
My emotions were racing around me, as I worried over what Stefan would say. I was full of fear that I’d ruin someone else’s life with the craziness of something growing inside of me right at that very minute…
I needed to drive very fast. Things were so out of control and I needed something that would make me concentrate.
I stood up with that in mind and Jonas and Charles stood up with me. Charles walked to the entrance of the room and crossed his arms over his chest like a guard.
“Human, listen to me,” Jonas said with more iron in his voice. “Males have fought each other to the death to be tied to a female and her young. Those males didn’t even know whom the child came from, and they didn’t care. None of us care. A male will lose his mind to the protective instinct when his mate is pregnant. Given that this is the Boss’—that this is his blood—you will have to put aside your independence for nine months and let him protect you. Let us protect you. Let every member of this clan, male or female, protect you however they can.”
“Stefan already protects me,” I said in confusion. “You—everyone—already do that.”
“Sasha,” Charles said from the doorway, “I’ve seen males cut their female’s meat for fear they might not do it right and choke.”
Jonas glanced back at Charles with a look promising pain. “Go play with yourself or something. The adults are talking.”
“Yeah, real funny, bro. I’m just as much a part of this as you are. I get to help.”
Jonas turned back. As soon as his gaze hit mine it softened. The effect unnerved me more than anything else that had happened so far. “A male will cut his female’s food, because he wants to start providing. He wants to show the others you are his, and he is taking care of you. The Boss is an alpha—an alpha of alphas—he will exhibit this trait more than others.”
“Exhibit, huh? You been reading your dictionary?” Charles muttered.
A flash of irritation stole Jonas’ features. He cocked his head before visibly curbing his expression to one of patience for me. “You need to give him more slack, do you get me? He will be irrational at times. You need to pick your battles. A female in this clan would let most things go. She would be expecting this. You are not—this is a great divide between humans and us. You will need to let him…”
“Act like a chick,” Charles finished.
Jonas stared at me. Apparently that was the right finish to the sentence. I felt like I was in a twilight zone.
“Fine. Great. Let Stefan go crazy and fuzzy. I can handle that.” But I didn’t think I could handle much more talk like this.
Charles snickered. “You have no idea, Sasha. You are totally going to flip.”
“Shut up, simpleton,” Jonas warned. “You’re still learning how your dick works. As soon as you grow pubic hair you’ll take this seriously.”
“Bro, I’m taking this seriously. You just don’t know her as well as I do. You weren’t there in the beginning. They have an understanding now, sure, but that shit is about to change when he tries to take control again. This is going to be fireworks and kerosene, yo.”
“He was there,” I corrected him, wiping my brow. “He tried to let the Dulcha kill me, remember?”
“Busted!” Charles yelled. “Such a dick move. Total 180, though. It all worked out. Just sayin’.”
Jonas was trying for patience—his smoldering eyes and clenched fists gave him away. It just wasn’t coming as fast this time.
“Oh, and Sasha,” Charles continued. “When the Mansion finds out, they’ll be crazy, too. Just so you know.”
My phone chirped from my handbag near the door. I bounded up and immediately ran into Charles. “What do you need? I’ll get it.”
“I ain’t done, human,” Jonas pushed.
“That’s probably Ann.” I pushed at Charles. “I need girl time. I called her to come over.”
“I’ll go get her.” Charles waited for Jonas to come and play roadblock so he could scoop up my phone and took off out the door.
“Jonas, this is already irritating,” I cautioned.
“That’s my point. Now, you need to take it easy. Take it slow. And if your body rejects that baby in the first three months, that’s okay. You don’t need to get down on yourself. It is perfectly natural. Most females lose their first couple of babies.”
I slowed down until everything settled. I stared up at Jonas and soaked in his comforting, calming stance. I was barely getting used to the idea of being pregnant myself, and he was telling me I’d probably lose it.
Something clicked over in my head. I hadn’t known how to feel, and I wasn’t sure about a trespasser inside me, but hearing I might lose him or her shook me. This baby was Stefan’s and mine. It was a piece of us. I didn’t want to lose it. I needed a moment to stress and panic about being a crappy mother, but I didn’t want to lose the life we’d created. I wanted this little peanut, and I would do anything to protect him or her. He or she was a part of our family now.
Jonas put a hand on my shoulder. The comforting warmth seeped into me. In a display of affection that was unusual for him, he reeled me in and held me gently. “The good news is that you are able to get pregnant. That is step one.”
“Where is she, Charles?” Ann stormed into the living room a moment later and stopped dead with the sight of Jonas holding me. “What happened?” she whispered in a terrified voice.
“These guys have grown vaginas,” I murmured through Jonas’ hard chest. “But Jonas is like an electric blanket, and I am surprisingly really comfortable. It helps knowing that he’s not trying to get in my pants, of course.”
“I only tried until the Boss marked you,” Charles said in a huff as he walked in.
“So what’s going on?” Ann stood beside us in a fuzzy pink robe. Charles must’ve snatched it up from my old room.
I struggled out of Jonas’ grasp and faced Ann. With a deep breath, I said, “I’m pregnant.”
Ann stared at me for a second. “Are you sure?”
“I took two tests.”
“Holy shit, Sasha.” Ann breathed deeply and put her hands to her hips. “How did this happen?”
Finally! A normal reaction!
“I have no idea,” I admitted, taking a couple steps and sinking into the couch. Ann followed in a daze. “I was on the pill.”
“I thought these guys weren’t even fertile?”
I shrugged. I was just as mystified as she was.
“Ungrateful,” Charles growled. “Why are you bringing logic into this? This isn’t a place for logic. This is a place for unicorns and cotton candy.”
“Charles, you belong in a fun house with your unicorns and cotton candy,” Ann retorted. She stared at me. “Scared? Happy?”
“Yes. Both. I don’t know anything about this.”
Suddenly Ann was action, cutting Charles off. She jumped off the couch, punched him soundly in the stomach, and pointed a finger toward the door. “Get out! This is a girl conversation. You don’t have any part of this. Get out. When all this is hashed out, we’ll talk to you.”
“What about Jonas?” Charles whined.
“Jonas is being quiet. Besides, he is giving me some terrifying looks. I know your people go fruit-loops over pregnant women—I’ve seen that weird farm you have—so I know what to expect. But you’re just being a mother hen, and that isn’t working right now.”
“Jesus. Gang up on a guy.” With a last look at Jonas, who apparently supported Ann’s judgment, Charles left shaking his head. I felt a little bad for him, but in this situation, I just needed a second to digest things. Just one.
“How come you’ve seen that pregnant farm place?” I asked Ann. “I’ve never been out there.”
“I was helping out the Watch and I don’t have the schedule you do.”
It was true. With finding humans filling in what should’ve been the downtime after Andris’ takedown, I hadn’t even been patrolling. Now I was a little fearful of what I’d be walking into if I spent any time at that weird retreat for pregnant women and families.
“Will we have to move there?” I asked in a whisper.
“First things first,” Ann said, sitting down. “How are you feeling? How freaked out? Do you want to get another test just to make sure?”
I settled back and let the world slow around me. I let my emotions align. “It’s still weird. I really wasn’t planning this.”
Ann nodded silently, letting me work around this new discovery.
A feeling of love welled up inside of me with the knowledge that Stefan would be excited. That we had created a piece of us. That we could raise a little troublemaker and have no idea which parent that trait came from. Or if it was both.
A smile formed on my lips as I felt a pulse of love answer my feelings through the blood link. I hadn’t realized I’d uncovered the muffle.
“Okay, good. That’s good. Phew!” Ann wiped her forehead in a show of relief. “If you didn’t want this kid, your life would’ve been hell, Sasha. Just sayin’.”
“Don’t speak like that, Ann,” Jonas warned.
“Not that it won’t still be hell.” Ann threw Jonas a look.
“Jonas said that most girls lose the first couple,” I said quietly, hoping Ann knew more about this than I did.
“His kind, maybe. You’re human, dearie. The first three months are always iffy, which is why a lot of people don’t tell anyone. But it’s way lower than their people. It’s like, twelve per cent or something. So you should probably try to keep it to yourself—“
“Won’t happen,” Jonas interrupted. “The Boss will want the reproduction specialists checking in with her every day.”
“Oh yeah, you’re going to hate your life.” Ann laughed this time. “They’re going to treat you like one of them, when you aren’t nearly as fragile as they are. You are going to go bat-shit crazy.”
“This isn’t a joke, mongrel,” Jonas warned.
“Well, if it was, it still wouldn’t be funnier than you.” Ann grinned at the thunderclouds on his face before turning back to me. “At least these people expect things to go wrong. That takes the pressure off.”
“Okay, so…this is going to try my patience.”
“Probably. But you’ll be treated like royalty—at least the people at that farm were--so I am totally going to hang around you every chance I get.”
Everyone fell silent for a moment, pondering what came next.
“Any news on that strange shifter?” I asked.
Jonas leaned forward, his substantial muscles popping as he leaned his elbows on his knees.
“We think he’s been around,” Ann said in a somber voice. “Your keys turned back up. I immediately brought Tim in to catch the scent. His eyes turned…scary. Very scary. It’s definitely an alpha with a lot of power. And he’s slinking around Tim’s territory. Tim…is…pissed.”
“No one saw him?” The shifter compound was like an army barracks. A stranger coming and going wasn’t normal.
“Bruce—one of the guys that patrol the compound—saw a blond guy he didn’t recognize this morning. He tried to follow the stranger but lost him. Bruce thinks he has some sort of elite forces experience by the way he moved around. Bruce also has elite forces experience, which is how he’d know.”
“Boss is going to make sure that filthy animal is taken out,” Jonas said with a growl.
“Stefan is letting Tim handle it,” Ann argued.
“That was before he knew his mate was carrying his child. He won’t allow that sort of danger in his town. Not now.”
“Stefan and Tim think this guy might be reporting to someone else,” I said.
A shadow passed over Ann’s face. “Tim checked in with the other packs. None have had intruders, so it’s just us. And this is the only place a shifter community is in close contact with Stefan’s kind. It probably isn’t a power struggle for alpha, which would mean…”
“Tim and Stefan are probably right. And here I thought it would be quiet without Andris.”
Jonas stood in a smooth movement. “Quit stalling, human. Grab one of those tests and let’s go see the Boss.”
Ann gave me a supportive grin. I exhaled and stood, scrubbing my palm on my jeans as butterflies swirled in my stomach. “Maybe I should plan a nice dinner and tell him then?”
“You need to interrupt whatever he is doing and tell him straight away, human. He will want to know immediately.” Jonas put a hand in the air, indicating I was to walk in front of him.
I couldn’t help the grin. “What’s up, Jonas? Not going to grab me by the collar and shove me along like usual?”
“C’mon, human,” Jonas answered.
In other words, no. He was no longer allowed to touch me forcefully. What a lovely course in self-restraint it would be for him. It was going to be a long nine months for a great many people if all the rules were about to change…
I said goodbye to Ann and promised to call her later. Charles was pacing by the door. As soon as he saw us he straightened up and stepped aside, waiting for me to pass in front. “All better now? Done freaking out?”
“We finally have something in common. I’m now as hormonal as you. Only, mine is not from going through puberty.”
“Everyone’s a comedian,” Charles retorted as Jonas’ lips tweaked toward a grin.
The cool evening air brushed my face and calmed the raging butterflies. My feet crunched on the dirt and rocks outside the bungalow. I stopped for a moment, relishing the twilight as the shadows stretched across the ground and started to blend together. The night flirted with my magic. Elements danced and played around me, ready to weave into a spell at a moment’s notice.
“I love this time,” I said in a sigh. “When the day is shaking hands with the night. I feel it’s like the middle between my two halves—my past life and my future.”
“Your past life was just a classroom. This is where you belong. Where you’ve always belonged. You just had to slog through shit to be worthy of it.” Jonas looked out at the trees, lines of fatigue and exhaustion ringing his eyes.
“How’d you guys know where to find me?” I asked as a few crickets started their chorus. I could hear voices in the direction of the Mansion.
“Got the call you’d left. Charles phoned the mongrels and told them to look out for you. After that, we got word of a couple of sightings,” Jonas answered.
“That Tim has got a tight network, I’ll say that,” Charles murmured. He’d inched closer to me since I stopped walking. His gaze was on my stomach. “Since last night he has people everywhere. Still hasn’t caught that intruder, though. The guy must be good.”
“The mongrel is new. Boss has been around a while. If there’s someone that don’t belong here, the Boss will chase him out.”
Jonas’ jaw clenched. “No one messes with one of our pregnant females.”
“Wow.” I couldn’t help the widened eyes. I was about to say more when I saw a hand slowly, gently, land on my stomach. I swiveled my head with an inquiring raised eyebrow at Charles.
“Sasha, don’t freak out. This is totally normal.”
“Charles, creeping closer to lay your hand on my belly doesn’t exactly sound totally normal. Especially since my stomach is flat.”
After a beat I added an, “Ish,” just to be mostly correct. “Flat-ish.”
He took his hand away just as slowly. “Note taken.”
“We good, or what? We gonna stand here all night?” Jonas asked. That irritation was peeking through again. He was having a really hard time with this patience issue.
The butterflies started up again as I pushed forward. The trees rustled from a small stirring of wind. As we passed the stone benches where I liked to sit to take in the dawn on occasion, Jonas said, “That human male has a mix of our blood and human. He said it was from his father.”
“What about his power level?” I asked in a hush, slowing again as we approached the door where a few people stood chatting.
“She thinks as high as gold. Probably light gold.” Jonas’ jaw clenched as he matched my slower pace.
“We did good, Sasha.” Charles veered in close again. “It’s way easier to train halvsies.”
“Are there many?” I asked, thinking of Delilah.
“Not that we can find. You heard Paulie’s story,” Charles reminded me, his hand reaching toward me slowly. I slapped it away. “They don’t mention what they see in the shadows once they’ve been called crazy. And because of the pheromones, the human females don’t realize where the baby came from. Which I had never realized was a little fucked up before.”
I slapped his hand away again.
“I am going to make you some bright orange booties,” Charles promised.
I took it as a threat.
“We lose access to children that way,” Jonas said in a tight voice. He cleared his throat with burning eyes. His fists tightened.
I couldn’t help a grin. He totally wanted to push me through the door and throw Charles in after me. His face was nearly puce with the effort of holding back.
